imo the way you feel about groups it's fully socially acceptable to hate (like children or polyamorous people, among others) is the canary in the coal mine for underlying bigoted beliefs. if you're only supportive of marginalized groups when it's cool to do so, probably you don't actually care about marginalized groups, you care about other people thinking you care
i literally just finished jessicur's most recent video on the radqueer community, and i just wanna talk about it a little bit!
i got four key points from this video:
the radqueer community is inherently harmful
the majority of the community is made up of minors groomed into it
consensual abuse is inherently nonconsensual and dangerous
the community is cult-adjacent
i want to talk about my perspective, experience, and just share my thoughts on each of these (plus a little bit more at the end).
"the radqueer community is inherently harmful."
i don't agree with this statement.
there are so many sides of this community that are accepting and give people a space to be themselves.
of course, i do know for sure that there are bad actors and harmful labels in the community, some of which even i find myself uncomfortable with. im not saying that the community cant be harmful, because it very much can be and definitely has in the past.
however, making a blanket assumption of an entire community, especially one as diverse as radqueer, is dangerous. every community out there has "harmful" or "scary" sides, but that doesn't mean the entire group is. you cant judge an entire cluster of DIVERSE people based on one assumption or one handful of infamous beings.
for example, look at the gacha community. gacha life and associated games were used as a way for people to express themselves. it is a diverse community with a thousand niche subcultures. and for a very, very long time, it was only known for one harmful and sexualized part. as a result, people who had done nothing wrong were bullied and ostracized (online and in real life! ask me how i know.) simply because they were part of a group that had a bad reputation.
its a clear example of why its so wrong to assume an entire community is the same as the worst of it.
and im not comparing paraphilias to fuckin gacha life characters. im not saying the substance that makes up each community is similar enough for a comparison- only how each community was treated by people outside of it because of a SMALL percentage of people INSIDE it.
ever heard of the silent majority? most of the popular radqueer creators, that are known for less than good things, make up a minority of it. for every person who commits an actual crime or is a genuine danger to the people around them, there are a hundred people who arent. assuming that all 101 are is stereotypical and dangerous.
"the majority of the community is made up of minors groomed into it"
i wont lie, there is a grooming issue. beings are definitely groomed into it. SAME AS A MILLION OTHER GROUPS. when i was a child, i was literally groomed into watching fucking h-ntai. that doesnt mean that every single person who watches h-ntai was either groomed into it or IS a groomer. theres definitely a percentage of people that ARE, and they should absolutely be dealt with/given help properly, however. you. cannot. use. a. blanket. statement. to. define. an. entire. group.
not only that, but this section came off as very infantilizing. the same sob story of "oh poor minors and evil adults." but. so many minors join the community of their own free will. also, not every adult is a fucking predator, ready to snatch up these kids.
wording things such as that minors are incapable of making their own decisions, would never join this community out of their own free will, and are being lured to the back of the metaphorical white van with a bowl of candy, is just so rude.
it is true that many beings here are and were victims of past abuse that led them to find comfort in this. im not going to say that thats not true. because it is. but that doesnt mean that we're all poor little naive innocent babies that dont know what we're getting into.
i CHOSE to join this community. i CHOSE the beliefs i have. i CHOOSE to dabble in fantasies of consensual abuse. because i WAS abused. because i was raped, sexually assaulted, gaslighted, manipulated, and fucking beaten to hell and back. i have been through it all.
most of which being during my developmental years. having a space where i am safe to explore the things that have happened to me in a controlled and consensual environment has done nothing but help.
and yes! yes, its weird! yes, its out of the norm! no, i dont expect everyone and their mother to nod their head and rub their chin wisely when they hear that i choose this life! you dont have to be comfortable with it. not everyone is going to be. but thats why its so important to build your own spaces. if you arent comfortable with something that brings someone else comfort, if you find it weird or strange, even if it downright disgusts you! you still have no right to take another persons space away from them.
harrassing people, leading campaigns against them, witch-hunting and bullying them, creating biased videos painting them as monsters! none of that is okay, no matter how weird someone is.
"consensual abuse is inherently nonconsensual and dangerous"
this is just plain wrong. the number one most important part of consensual abuse is CONSENT. CONSENT to be abused or CONSENT to abuse, from all parties involved. this also means that these parties can TAKE AWAY that consent if they no longer want to participate. consensual abuse is no different from any other kind of roleplaying, in the sense that its done between two or more beings who are aware of what theyre doing and are happy to let it happen.
again, i understand that its not everyones cup of tea. i understand that it might weird you out or make you uncomfortable. i understand that it might disgust you. which is why youre not forced to engage with it!
judging someone based on the activities THEY do with THEIR time and THEIR consent, of which make THEM happy, is so fucking rude and incredibly parasocial. NOBODY has the right to tell someone what they can and cannot do if what theyre doing is CONSENSUAL and MAKES THEM HAPPY.
this includes them hurting themself or hurting someone else who wants it, or being hurt by someone if they want it. its not your choice what someone else does, its THEIRS.
"the community is cult-adjacent"
now, i dont agree with this statement because of how it was worded and, in my opinion, makes light of what a 'cult' is, but i do want to talk about something i do agree on the video with.
the radqueer community has an issue where you can be pressured into being around things that make you uncomfortable. being uncomfortable with being around a person, group, label, thing, etc doesn't mean that you should be harassed for it.
im fucking terrified of spiders and do NAWT want to be around them but that doesnt mean i think all spiders should be eradicated or that all spider lovers should beat me up with bats for not liking their little arachnids.
i LOVE animals with everything in me, especially snakes! but that doesnt mean im gonna call every animal lover with a fear of snakes a fucking poser and then punch them in the face- because you HAVE to love snakes to be an animal lover. you GOTTA.
its just plain stupid.
and i see that happen in the rqc all the time! people can be uncomfortable with certain labels interacting with their blog, they have every right to be so. im not comfortable with cisnazis or fully transitioned, ideology-following transnazis, because my abusive ex was one. and because it literally puts me in fight or flight to be around them. but that doesnt mean im gonna harass them, and it doesnt mean that i should be harassed BY them. they can exist in their spaces (with all the consequences that might entail), and ill exist in mine. thats the end of it. it does not make me a 'bad radqueer' to have boundaries for my own safety.
but a lot of people think it does. i remember one account (not the name, just the account), who was personally uncomfortable with transnazis. as far as im aware, they were harassed by the community until they went inactive.
thats going WAY too far. they have a right to decide who gets to be on their blog and who doesnt.
"back to the video- other issues!"
the biggest issue to me was the lack of direction. now, i am a big journalism nerd and maybe this is just a pet peeve of mine, but journalism exists for a reason.
every story has a why? a so what? an and? basically, why should the audience care? ive been creating journalistic pieces for over an entire year and every single story i have written started with why i wanted the audience to care that i wrote it.
but i dont get much of that from the video. if it was a genuine story on the darker parts of the community, it should have been longer and formatted better.
the video went like this: introduction > a list of terms in the community and what they mean > an interview of one person who left the community > why the community is dangerous
every good argument starts with your hypothesis. i do like how the creator gave a brief overview on the radqueer community (although i dont like what that overview was- more on that in a bit) before getting too deep into the argument. however, thats where that ends. there wasnt much of an argument made until the very end. i went through the video feeling really confused.
what is she trying to say? what is her view on this community? what backs up that view?
and then, when the argument was finally made, it kinda fell apart immediately. no good journalist makes an argument without evidence to back it up.
source? just trust me bro. just trust me and the one single person i interviewed bro. yeah i have no screenshots or cited sources (EXCEPT for definitions) but like. just trust me bro.
the lack of evidence, the substance of any journalistic piece, makes the argument wobbly at most.
i genuinely feel that if you want to make a commentary on the radqueer community, it should be done with the same care that you would put into any other commentary. you cannot half-ass a video simply because you dont like the people involved. and you cannot call yourself a journalist if you disagree with that previous statement.
the other thing i wanted to talk about was the bias. journalism is an UNBIASED form of writing, unless youre making an argument that you have the EVIDENCE TO BACK UP.
this video cannot decide whether it wants to be a documentary on what the community is or whether it wants to be an argument that the community is bad. again, this is another thing that makes it very weak and unreliable.
overall, the video was made with little care or effort, a weak argument, and clear bias. the creator could have done so much better and, even from the perspective of a journalist, i am genuinely disappointed in the work itself.
just watched the Jessicur documentary over the community, and let me just preface by saying that its very interesting how a trans woman (someone who is often targeted by bigots on the basis of being seen as a predator) makes a video covering radqueers who are subjected to the same arguments that terfs and transphobes use to punch down and call us predators. I'm just going to go point by point with analysis because I think it's important.
Also the documentary is very biased and you can tell that she wants to paint us with this very broad brush that makes us out to be predators. For example, she features "ex-radqueers", but not any of us that are in the community for this video. Wouldn't it be good to show your audience a bigger perspective (aside from that one person from the past interview)?
Her definitions are slightly correct. I like how she didn't only mention anti and pro contact but also neutral, complex, etc, but you can absolutely see the direction of the video. Like, when she mentions paraphilias it would have been nice to cover what they are and the attraction ≠ action ideology I usually see here.
Also her trans identity section is laughable. Obviously she will spotlight trans race and trans disabled because those are eyebrow raisers, but ignores that many of the beings that identify with these have dysphoria or that we all aren't a monolith when it comes to accepting some sorts of labels. We literally had a mini civil war over trans Nazi / NIN.
Also let me just add that I am a grown ass woman that's employed and educated. The radqueer community isn't just youth. And the way Jessicur discusses (usually teenagers) joining the community is vaguely similar to how bigots view children coming out as queer and joining the lgbtq+ community. It also makes it seem like most radqueers aren't vanilla queers ourselves. Like I knew I was lesbian before I knew I was radqueer; that cant be separated. Also many of us are cis poc, disabled, mentally ill, etc. Fake claiming is always bad.
I'm not even gonna get too deep into pro-ship vs anti ship. Fiction does not affect reality. Propaganda is different because of pre-existing prejudice and obviously government run campaigns will affect people more than some randoms fanfic on ao3.
I won't clown on ex-radqueers who "escaped" because I just don't think that's fair. They had a reason for leaving, but I DO think its weird of Jessicur to use it to further this agenda of depicting this community as a Cult. We don't have figureheads or a hierarchy. We argue on this damn site almost every week. Nobody is in danger if they choose to leave. Now I can't deny that there are many traumatized beings that join this community, but it's the same with the lgbtq+ and plural communities. Are they cults too?
I honestly feel like I just scratched the surface of this and there is SO MUCH that could be said as an argument. Posting this documentary at the beginning of pride month was also nefarious as fuck lmao. Anyway, keep being accepting of others no matter how weird or contradictory, block trolls they're not worth your time, and keep being you.
I would’ve included Xenosatanists but I don’t know enough about the ideology to really have an opinion on them and I feel a bit iffy about them soooooo, Not including peri-xs I’m fine with them, it’s just the full ideology
Although we have our disagreements, you do not deserve to be the target of such awful hateful people. I will fight heartlessness with kindness always and forever.
This is a reference to a post a really hateful tumblr user thats been circulating made. Here is the original gif mine is based off of. I usually dont make pro-para posts like this, as im not one to like xenosatanists or xenosatanism, but the OP in question is really ableist towards sexual disorders and is really unfortunately uneducated and misinformed about paraphilias. I wish people took their time fighting against real predators/offenders instead of starting petty tumblr radqueer harassment wars and wasting everyone’s time.
(Also hanging the transid flag along side them is .. super fucking weird lol. Dont they know transgender is a transid? The fuck is wrong with trans identities?? 😭)
i find it so weird that a likely white person (though it would still be bad if it were a poc) is using *lynching* as if that's not racist and insensitive as fuck 😭
