The atmosphere suddenly drifted, and Yuu felt how tense Mika became. He was filled with laughter then void of any emotion whatsoever, this being the initial reason Yuu stopped alongside the blonde. His brows furrowed in confusion, worried by the mood change and speechless by such a personal question.
Yuu’s cheeks became inflamed, recoiling from their linked arms as he got defensive. Where on earth did that come from? He had little to no interest in intimacy. All of those years they were separated, Yuu shut out every aspect of forming any type of relationship. The very notion made him sick, stomach churned over the reminder of his first attempt of having a family.
If he couldn’t even make a friend how could he be like that with someone? He was incapable of harbouring romantic feelings because he lost the one person that mattered the most. And now he had found him again, the underlying crush he kept trying to hide as a kid surfaced again.
That wasn’t to say he didn’t have needs and indulged in them from time to time. He was human. It was only human to crave the opposite of pain.
“W-What?! No, you idiot! Of course I haven’t done any of that… stuff!” He shook his head furiously, arms waving from left to right because… hell this was embarrassing to even talk about. “And I’m not so useless, I can handle myself if anybody trid to take advantage of me.” But that was it, nobody spared him a second glance, he was too much trouble.
“How about you, huh? Since we seem to be getting nosy here, have you done that?” God, he was so immature for referring to sex as that. But as he anticipated Mika’s answer, the thought of him being like that… hurt.
“Look, I just need a drink…”
And just like that a weight was lifted from Mikaela’s shoulders. He didn’t know what had inspired such thoughts, the jokes maybe but gosh the surge of anger, the surge of volatile anger was foreign, he’d felt nothing for four years, nothing but a deep emptiness slowly gnawing at the furthest depths of his mind, of his soul, then within an hour of Yuu being in his presence he was already feeling things again. How did this boy do it? How did he make a vampire, a creature that shouldn’t have feelings, shouldn’t have emotions other than the desire to feed, how did this adorable human boy make him feel so much?
“Good… good, s-sorry I... I didn’t mean to make things weird I just… I’ve not been around to keep you safe” like he’d kept the others safe… at least for a while. He’d made so many mistakes so quickly and all those good intentions, keeping them safe from the deplorable crap going on in the underbelly of Sanguinem… perhaps he should have just let it happen.
Apparently, sex was fun and enjoyable… they might have felt good before they’d been led to the slaughter by their brother with good intentions. He shook his head to rid himself of the thoughts, might have looked weird but it was better to look weird than be plagued with thoughts of what he should and shouldn’t have done growing up.
---and then Yuu asked him the exact same question, knocking him right back into the train of thought because hold up, Yuu thought that stuff happened between vampires down there? “Uhm… n-no… no, i… I don’t feel that stuff… none of the vampires here do that…” there were no urges, the only urge they had was to feed, and god was he hungry, just thinking of urges had his own rearing its ugly head, he had to stop.
For a moment he stopped in step, hand reaching for the railing along the walkway they were stood upon, fingers cracking through stone leaving chunks broken out of the stone in the ancient walkway “M’fine…” he spoke before he was asked, teeth grinding together as he tried to rein them in, ignore the sound of blood rushing through veins so close… “m’fine… I need a drink too I suppose…” he needed food and his food was so close he could taste it on the air.
“S-stay over there… just give me a moment…”
2087
janainaart
theartofmadeline
snowghoul
