CROWN PRINCE CESAR

[heavyisthexxcrown]

penned by celine * more under the cut

Crown Prince, son of King Felipe and Queen Ines. Raised by his mother to surpass his father, he wears discipline and composure like armor. Beneath his obedience simmers quiet resentment, fueling a calculated rise to power.

[ read more here. ] & contact via discord for plots!

[amritavalli]

where: in the stables, again

when: chapter 2 - late morning

who: @heavyisthexxcrown

"Aren't you a lovely little thing?" she coos at the injured bird who'd made a temporary home on her horse, Runner. Unbothered by the brush she was running through her horse's mane, or the slow rise and fall of the body of the gentle beast, the tiny creature seemed at ease with its precarious perch atop Runner. Runner, to all his credit, was careful to not make any sudden movements, content to wait for the bird to contemplate its next destination.

Amrita reaches into her pocket, pulling out (along with some strands of hair and a torn piece of parchment) a handful of seeds and fruits she'd stolen from the breakfast hall earlier. There's a soft, barely audible shuffling behind her, but she ignores it. Instead, with a slow, fluid movement, she offers them up to the bird, small smile playing on her lips. "Eat up little birdie, I wonder which beastly thing has hurt you so!"

"Perhaps it's a good thing, though. It's not a good time to be a flighted creature," she mutters, looking up at the crimson dome above her. Finally addressing the stranger behind her, but still without looking over, she asks, "Here to groom your horse?"

[heavyisthexxcrown]

"Yes," his voice curt as he was focused on settling Kane in the stables, though when he turned his head he immediately tensed. He proceeded to lean against the fence, arms crossed, jaw tight. "Feeding birds now," he says flatly, eyes flicking to the tiny creature on Runner before looking away. "Not puking on me… progress, I guess." He was still bitter bout their last rendez vous but he could hardly put two and two together. The woman who was present was ... an entirely different person than the one he last met. The part of his brain that entertained thought was quickly quelled, refuting the curiosity for wanting to inspect and understand more about the woman.

Runner shifted, nudging the bird, and Cesar's hand twitched as if to steady it, then dropped to his side. He exhaled through his nose, expression hard. "Keep your hands to yourself," he mutters, voice low, clipped. "Birds don’t need rescuing from idiots." His gaze lingered a fraction too long on the bird before snapping back to her, face unreadable, lips pressed tight. No smile. No comment. Nothing.

[talesinrequiem]

she could hear the frustration in cesar’s tone. most moments it was hard to determine at who or what he was feeling such a way for. could it have been their parents? of course. their sister? maybe. any other countless people he had to interact with? always. what ros believed to be the most likely was their situation. while her and her elder brother had never been the closest. she had still learned many of his habits. he had probably already gone through the entire library in the hopes of finding something. almost a guarantee really.

“a fresh look then,” she offered softly, moving towards an area of scripture. delicately touching them to begin to read. “and a second pair of eyes.” was added as she began to look over the first section of writing. it was only the briefest of moments that her eyes had been on the page before her brother spoke again. his question, forcing even her breath to still.

how could she tell him that the french court was a strange thing? truly the only thing that made it worse than their parents was she was the one that had a husband with lovers. lovers she could not bring herself to hate. a potential lover that was a family friend and one of cesar’s friend. another one of favor that seemed like a person rosalia could truly be a friend of… another that seemed to hold nothing but hate in her heart. with a dowager queen she couldn’t help but wonder may have been who had ended the first queen earlier than god intended... not that mistress as many others whispered of.

releasing the breath, she had been holding gently from her lungs, she took in another to give a strength to herself that she did not always feel. “do you wish the truth, brother?” she asked first, softly. nearly a whisper. a very un-lady like move of teeth gently biting into her bottom lip while she refused to look at her elder brother. “i feel as if it is worse sometimes,” rosalia began to answer, for once feeling safe with someone when it seemed as if it had been far too long since she had. “if only because it is my husband that is with others rather than in my bed and it is my life on the line if i cannot give him an heir...”

her soft eyes moved to look at her brother, knowing he held answers but perhaps not ones that would ease her troubles. “i don’t know what is in my king’s mind. i am not a confidant to him. i do not know how he wishes to handle… any of this.”

[heavyisthexxcrown]

Cesar's jaw tightened as they walked through the corridor, walking past the many tapestries and polished floors. "You worry too much about intentions," he said, voice low but sharp. "The French court is nothing but fools, flatterers, and predators. Whether the king means well or not changes nothing; the consequences always fall on those who wait for him to act." There was no point in putting faith in Henri if she were to seek for efficiency.

He cast a brief glance at Rosalia, noting the slight hesitation in her step. "And your husband… lovers or no, that is not the danger you should measure. You are far too soft to survive on sentiment alone. You will need to learn to carry your burdens yourself, to act before others do it for you, or against you. That is how you remain safe. No one else will fight your battles for you." That was simply how it was for people like them - a life tied to obligation and complex political maneuvers that could be one sentence away from life or death.

Cesar's pace slowed slightly, his expression unreadable as he considered her further. "Truth?" he murmured, almost quietly, though his gaze held hers like a weight. "Truth is uncomfortable. It unsettles, it worries, it frightens. But it also teaches. Knowledge is a blade: you can wield it, or it will cut you. I would rather see you armed than sheltered, Ros."

His voice softened just a fraction, enough that the care behind it could be felt, though the edge of cynicism remained. "I know you are not the type to harden easily. You have always been gentle, and the world does not favor gentle people. But strength comes not from shielding yourself, nor from clinging to hope." He never believed in answers as simple as prayer and devotion. "It comes from seeing the dangers and learning to endure them. That is the only way you will endure what is coming."

Cesar’s eyes flicked ahead to the library's looming doors, then back to his sister. "Do not mistake my bluntness for cruelty. I want you to survive this, and to do so on your own terms. Learn to rely on yourself, to measure the threats before they strike. The world will not wait for anyone to be ready. And you, my sister, must be ready." He was well aware of the dangers that could lie ahead and even the pressures that rested heavily against her heart. But it was a burden that she would need to find a solution that was sufficient. Being involved with personal affairs were never Cesars strong suit. And the thought and discussion of children were almost of zero interest.

[moonvcils]

it was a soft sadness and pain that lived in her gaze at the prince's words. how upsetting that belief and hope are now spoken as a negative... but, in some part she could relate. not with her relationship to the church or her beliefs, but in her marriage, certainly. there had been a time when cyrille began courting her that she thought it love, and only after they were married did the truth come to light. hope was a dangerous thing, and if you have to much of it, it could destroy you if you aren't strong enough.

"of course," she bowed her head slightly in respect. while diane did not have many friends herself, she could attempt to be that for cesar if he needed one.

his question had her pause and deeply consider what he was asking, and after a moment in thought the brunette finally answered. "for me, given what we witnessed tonight, i believe the point of this is to gain some sort of comfort." there was no way to prove god was listening, or would take care of her, but it felt nice to believe. "and to be honest, i find it alarming when people expect a reward from the heavens. as if just staying faithful and believing should grant them extra privileges. i do not see my faith as a transaction, so i do not expect any payment. aside from being accepted into heaven..."

her voice grew softer and speculative as she said, "if heaven is still an option. i can't help but fear that whoever we heard from earlier is a demon that has usurped the gods."

shaking her head and the fear away from her body, diane straightened her back and regained her composure and poise she was known for. "well, i believe that is enough depressing talk for now. what do you think of the masquerade that awaits us?"

[heavyisthexxcrown]

Cesar let out a short, humorless laugh, the sound more bitter than amused. "Comfort," he repeated, almost as if the word tasted sour in his mouth. “People cling to it as if it will stave off the inevitable, as if hope isn’t just another form of deception. You think faith protects you from suffering, but it does nothing except make the blows feel heavier when they come." He knew it all too well and there was a lingering bitterness that slightly coated his sharpened words.

He tilted his head slightly, gaze drifting toward the distant halls where shadows moved like slow predators. "As for rewards… belief is rarely fair. Miracles are few, punishments plentiful, and the rest of us are left to muddle through the consequences of a God who seems more interested in spectacle than justice. Expecting heaven as payment is the sort of vanity that gets people killed, or worse, disappointed." All of it was just a long show or some kind of fiasco that mortals used to cope with the world - that was the truth.

Cesar scoffed, his lips pressed together in an expression that was apathetic, both cold and fleeting. "And the masquerade? I suspect it will be another exercise in pretense. Masks, laughter, dancing… everyone pretending not to notice the rot beneath the gilded floors. Perhaps that is its own form of honesty. At least there, the illusion is shared." Illusion or delusion, all the same.

[movrniing]

Where: The courtyard With: @heavyisthexxcrown

Something peculiar was happening. The moment Misha had stepped out into the courtyard, he incidentally locked eyes with a bird two feet ahead. It wouldn't be so alarming that he would abandon his book, if it wasn't for the way it fluttered up and down and around again, as if searching for something. He scanned the area, that perhaps he might find what it was looking for and aid in its distress, yet nothing he could see stood out to him. Without much to go on with, he started to walk, towards the bird and then around it. Over and over.

A bird following him — or him following the bird — was an odd enough sight for anyone to comprehend. While normally he would carry on without notice, there was only so many circles he could make around the courtyard. By chance, another person stepped by and he made the decision to approach them.

"Good day," he greeted, coincidentally the bird stopped too, right by his shoulder. "Might you have seen a bird in the vicinity?"

[heavyisthexxcrown]

Cesar had ensured that the bird had been cared for by one of his attendants and he had been sent into a bit of a panic when he heard that it had made its escape from his attendant.

But just to his luck, he found himself bumping into yet another. There was the bird. He didn't know what to say, conflicted with retaining his usual stoic demeanor. It was ... unsightly to appear so empathetic and kind for animals after all.

"Good day," he felt more awkward than usual, hoping to have had a chance to ensure the bird's health in silence without more eyes. "Which bird, this bird?" Making an attempt to be nonchalant about the animals. "Did you lose a bird?" It sounded stupider than he intended, feeling slightly embarrassed that whatever impression he was leaving upon the other was ... one less polished than what he was accustomed to presenting. God, this was fucking awful.

[silvermoonhalo]

LITTLE ACTS | CROWN PRINCE CESAR & COUNTESS ANASTASYA

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ Ⅱ | ʀᴇᴅ ɢᴀᴛᴇ. ᴀɴᴀꜱᴛᴀꜱʏᴀ & ᴄᴇꜱᴀʀ @heavyisthexxcrown

Laying out plates of milk further in the center of the palace had been a half-baked plan of course. Something to do in hopes of drawing the living things of innocence into protections where they would not foolishly wander into the all ending barrier. She had almost given up hope on her effectiveness when a field mouse had come to take a drink. Sat back in a squat Anastasya dutifuly watched the tiny creature drink, "Little fool, do not go wandering past the gardens or you will no longer be a thing of any world." She soothed gently, "No flesh nor bone, no desire or hunger." She tilted her head against the tops of her knees. "It does almost sound nice...the nothingness. But don't let the prospect fool you. Death to no end is painful." She talked gently to the creature for a time. At least until the echo of incoming footfall drew her forward to her modest height. "Be careful where you step if you must continue down this corridor." Anastasya promptly gestured down the fire lit halls where saucers of shallow milk had been placed.

[heavyisthexxcrown]

Cesar slowed at the sight before him, gaze drifting from the shallow saucers to the lone woman crouched beside them. "You're feeding mice in a palace corridor?" he asked, tone flat but edged with curiosity.

His eyes followed the tiny creature as it vanished into the gloom. "Seems a strange place for kindness. Or is this some sort of… ritual?" He stepped forward, boots clicking softly, studying her with the same detached interest he might give an unfamiliar weapon.

"Try not to get yourself eaten," he said, tilting his head, "even the tiny ones have teeth."

[heavyisthexxcrown]

location: somewhere in the halls with: @princessyueli

He had been anticipating finding someone to help him search out the Empress and it turned out much harder than he anticipated. Well, he should've expected an Empress to busy with her affairs. Still, he couldn't help but pace, wondering if the trade deal that had been promised would be solidified. Her maidservant had done a wonderful job also providing quality silk samples for his viewing. But he had accidentally left it too close to one of his ink wells and now the beautiful fabric had been stained ... just like his trousers were. What a damn nuisance.

So perhaps it was a mixture of luck and good fortune to bump into Princess Yueli who had ties to both empires. He didn't know much of her, only enough that she was royalty and well connected. He was quick to make his bow, not really caring too much for formality but enough to still present himself respectably. "Excuse me, but do you happen to know where I could find one of the Empress's handmaidens? I had meant to speak with her about some silk pieces but I'm afraid I've ruined one ..." He hoped she was helpful, and at the very least, competent.

[delightfxll]

Lips stretch into a sinister smirk , dark gaze alight with mirth. It is not a sinister idea , no , but it had been entertaining to consider it as well. But , if she goes out of her way to murder every potential candidate , then only married men and suckling babes would remain on this world. Women , sadly , were not of the marrying interest to her , nor would her brother be amused or elated if she came back with a woman as lover. Though , all things considered , perhaps that would be a wise course of action. If she could handsomely pay off a forgein princess or higher nobility lady to act as her devoted lover , perhaps she would be spared of Javier's matchmaking. Knowing her brother , it would be in vain. "I have a sickening feeling it will be Malnoctio who will murder anyone , but no. I do not have murder on my mind." she refused to clarify. Cesar was nice in a way all men disinterested in her had been nice. She did not trust him with her deepest secrets , but this plan could use his aid. Should he find it in his generosity to aid her.

"I am not the eclesiastic kind." Bianca responds , nose scrunching at the very thought of the walls of a nunnery closing around her slender frame. Dawn mass? Evening mass? She would be more glad to spend that time asleep or with a book in her lap. "But , since you expressed interest in my plans I shall confide in you. In fact , if you find the idea as amusing as I do , perhaps you could lend a helping hand ?" she asked , revealing nothing until he either agrees or refuses.

[heavyisthexxcrown]

He was nonchalant about it all.

"Truth be told," he said, thinking and leaving a pause in between the two, "I don't think it wise for me to be involved in the machinations of Javier and his plans and yours." It was true, Javier was overbearing enough already and Cesar had a sneaking suspicion that should he be in his way, his life would be meddled with too.

"I am no keeper of secrets, it is truly up to your own whims should you wish to disclose it." He didn't care what she did or didn't do - as his life was fully devoted to his own personal goals. And the political maneuvering and cleanup he had to do presently already gave him enough of a headache. He was well assured that whatever she chose to share, it would go in one ear and out the other. This sort of thing was more suitable for the likes of his sisters to deal with. "I still think being a nun is a wonderful idea, who wouldn't want to piously devote themselves to God?" His face remained serious, but internally he was already laughing at the thought. God be damned.

[talesinrequiem]

seeing cesar was a balm on a wound she had not known she was carrying. or perhaps she had always known, simply chose to pretend it did not hurt so badly. something she did more often than not as of late. hearing his voice, brought a full smile to rosalie’s face. she could count on him to always be gruff and straight to the point. even in the face of a god or demon’s potential wrath. he was always himself.

humming softly at the mention of their mother and father, she didn’t doubt his words were true. if there was no pressing matter to the kingdom, why would they even see themselves into layers of clothing? while she herself believed that a river of poisonous crimson that seemed to be able to simply waft and destroy could be a kingdom related problem, who was she to question her own parents? not a girl child’s place after all.

“thank you cesar,” she started, taking a stop closer to her brother as she sighed something of relief. “but i have seen to our staff and others. we are well enough for now,” she explained softly, doing her best to keep her worry from her tone. because she was worried. worried that her king wasn’t taking the threat seriously. worried that the strangers they were surrounded by could use a babe as a scape goat to free themselves from the torment they were surrounded by… worried that they could use a second queen to do it too…

still, all of these worries were easily placated simply by hearing true concern in her brother’s words. a rare moment that she would cherish in her memories. “i am as well as i can be,” she answered truthfully as she took another step to him. “but i am on a quest to see if this library might hold answers or perhaps even legends involving this… malnoctio and this plague upon us.”

closing the distance, rosalie stood close, with a smile, moving to link their arms together.. “i could use your mind, brother. if you are willing to join me..”

[heavyisthexxcrown]

Cesar sighed. It was not of annoyance or irritation but one of simple frustration. While numerous attendants had arrived to revel in celebrations and party, he had spent an excessive time already in search of answers - of any sort, to explain whatever the hell was happening. And it had all led to unexplainable dead ends. He clung onto the hope that this was some mass ruse. But with how the events were unfolding, he felt more agitated that he was unable to best prepare for whatever were to come next.

"I will come to see if I have missed out on any essential clues ... but I have seen nothing to explain any of this madness," he muttered, his eyes furrowed as his mind began to flick through the categorized papers and books in his head of all the texts he had read and collected over the past couple of days.

"Is Henri taking any of this seriously?" Cesar only mused the question aloud to fill the space between them. He didn't truly need an answer since he had an expectation of her reply to it. But perhaps if she spoke it out loud, it would merely solidify Cesar's belief in the French Kings incompetence and ignorance. "I can't imagine French court to be pleasant, but perhaps a tad better than mother and father's ... affairs and never ending drama."

If he could, he'd throw both of them into the ring as sacrifices to end this little devil show. He was too damn tired bearing the burdens and responsibilities of so many fools.

[gildedcrownx]

Witnessing the crown prince grapple with letting any emotion show on his face amused Henri to no end. Truth be told, he is quite impressed with the feat of restraint that the man has shown. He could sense the contempt held for him and his ways, and were he a more... sensitive man, he would have cared. The near scowl threatened to light up Henri's face with a grin. "Oh, an amateur, you say?" he gives the word pause, but there is no indication that he took offense to the veiled insult. Nor does he agree that it was a correct assessment. "The error is in thinking it has anything to do with competence. Have you no desire? Do you not feel the need to simply... pardon my french: fuck all the time?" Henri catches the slight hint of amusement and his grin widens. "Make no mistake— I do not share to just anybody. It is only because you are family, Cesar."

[heavyisthexxcrown]

It took all of Cesar's willpower not to roll his eyes. No, doing such a thing would be giving into Henri. And then Henri would think they were something as foolish as friends - a completely disgusting idea and concept in all of it's entirety.

"No," his response was flat and bored. "I am not a rabbit in heat with a need to stick it into holes whenever." Rather, his focus was on the only thing that mattered and truly defined his life: the Spanish throne. All the other fuckery could and would wait.

He should've hurled at the word. Family, as if he had a choice in that kind of say. "You share whores with your family?" He was already regretting the question. He had little desire in knowing the affairs of the Dowager Queen and the King's younger brother. The mere thoughts were going to make him nauseous.

[talesinrequiem]

where: the halls of santicarno, near the library when: chapter two | the ninth gate who: open to all!

waking to a scream had filled rosalie with a terror she didn’t quite comprehend. without thought, she had thrown herself out of her bed and ran to the babe. gently taking her into her arms when she saw the nurse maid had done the same. her limbs shook when she moved towards the window, the little one in her arms when her terrified eyes caught sight of the mote that had slithered like a serpent that surrounded them in the night. a blood red river, snaking, deep and threatening. she didn’t know how long her eyes stayed locked on the scene that morning, but the soft movements and cooing of the little one had the queen tearing her eyes away.

smiling softly, she eased the girl before passing her to elise, gently allowing her to feed the child and begin caring for her for the day. murmuring to the other softly, they agreed that today the child would be kept inside and to their quarters. just to be safe. rose did not know the cruelty of the other guests but would not allow them the chance to use the little girl as a tool in this wicked request for a sacrifice. she would be sure to check in on them later, if only to ease her own mind on their safety.

she on the other hand, was willing to walk about the grounds that were not kept from the world. checking on each of the servants that helped her dress for the day, they reassured each other that each was alright. her doing her best to soothe worries. that the royalty and courts of the visit would come to a decision and the horrors would not persist forever. they would not be trapped forever.

to pass her time, rosalie found herself walking about the hallways, partially hoping to run into her elder brother or sister, seeking comfort in the known of the world. another afraid of what she would see if she did see them. would they hold the same fear in their hearts as she ? her prayer beads were softly held in her hands as she hoped to make her way to where she had found the library days before. the delicate string easing something in her as she caught sight of another figure walking about.

offering a soft engagement with a nod of her head, rosalie smiled warmly at the new figure, glad to see another living soul that wasn’t hurrying in worry past her. “i would say good morning but i think, perhaps, that would be a little off the mark this morning,” she spoke easily, while eyeing the other with a curious tilt to her head, “are you and yours doing well?”

[heavyisthexxcrown]

It was normal for Cesar to make sense of what was going on and he had dug himself deeper into the depths and pursuit of knowledge. There had to be a reason for what was going on, some kind of man made rationale. And even if that wasn't to his avail, he would find an answer somewhere and somehow, for that was simply how he functioned and how he always would.

While others flew into panic, his facade remained calm and stoic. In times of fright, there was no necessity in adding to the terror. He had already instructed his servants and men to secure all sources of available water and ensure that food remained plentiful. He had even instructed that food portions were to be decreased in preparation for the worst. It seemed like all they could rely on for the near future was survival and he had conjured thousands if not numerous plans to survive.

He thought little of others minus perhaps his direct family. And thus he was pleasantly relieved to see that his little sister seemed to still be on her feet. "Father is nowhere to be seen, neither has mother, I assume both are preoccupied with their respective lovers," the corner of his lip nearly furled into disgust. "I had sent word to ask you of your situation but it is much better to be able to see you now." He spoke with such speed and efficiency as if time was of the essence. "If the French court is not doing their duty at a time like this ... you are always welcome to return to your family, Ros," with little hesitation. He hardly trusted Henri to be an adept leader lest caretaker of his many women. Hell, he could already imagine the many ways the man would consider his own longevity.

"It is dark times, I would not trust anyone here that isn't blood," he murmured, "but even by blood, I suppose it is just you and Leticia that are of my importance," everyone else could be left for dead, for all he cared. "Are you alright?" It wasn't normal for him to show glimpses of concern but he supposed he felt some obligation to perform his role as both brother and future king now that it appeared the stakes had risen to the potential crown.

[delightfxll]

Eyes darken with annoyance , the Orduna refrains from further commenting. It was so typically male. Bend back and endure. Compromise. Surrender. On a loop. She would have scoffed had it been a battle worth fighting , a war worth waging. Bianca would have been better off single handedly defeating God in the heavens than she would have been reasoning with men. Men had no reason about them. They needed no reason when the world was their to command as they wished. Even if they were terrible at commanding anything. "He would have loved that , would he not ?" she bit back with a smile. The prince was not to blame for her brother's continuous annoyance. Javier had been her problem , not Cesar's.

"I do not wish to know. He will take my inquiries as me agreeing to his plans." she did not condone Javier's poor matchmaking attempts. He had no romantic bone in his body and if he did have one , he would probably take it out to use as toothpick , not knowing much of what else he should do with such an appendage. Bianca covered the mouth with a hand , richly adorened in jewels and rings. "I believe I should change the tactic. I can only bribe the physician to play along with my so - called illness for only a short time. Possession would not work in this holy place. It would work , of course , but there may be unforeseen complications. They might burn me as a demon overlord." she let out a chuckle , though the idea was not a laughing matter. "I might have to take more drastic measures." Bianca had already had a victim or two in mind.

[heavyisthexxcrown]

"He certainly has a stubbornness about him," Cesar murmured, more relax and laid back. He had little interest in being involved between the Orduna family's spats. But he knew, Javier was still being rather agreeable despite all circumstances and if push came to shove, she would certainly not have a choice.

"It is why he keeps things close," Cesar shrugged. Not that he knew details but it wouldn't be a surprise to him if there was a secret ball, a private banquet or whatever else the man chose to conjure as a means of an excuse to show off his sister. "Oh?" He cocked a brow. What was she up to now? He brought a finger up to his lips, "I swear I will mention none of it to him but what are you thinking this time? Don't tell me you're going to try murder or something sinister." He doubted that Bianca would go that far but ... well, what hasn't she tried at this point? Whatever it was, he assumed he'd be entertained by the reaction of her brother to whatever schemes were employed.

"My sister has made an attempt to tell him to leave you to your affairs. I do think if she had the choice, she would have preferred the solitude of being in a nunnery. Is such a reality part your consideration?" It would certainly infuriate Javier but it was. not entirely out of reason. However he had heard of much of the corruption within such monastic religious places ... But if marriage was that bad, then perhaps it was a worthy option.

[sealedsfate]

the words cesar spoke carried more weight than all of the ink scribbled in the books that surrounded them combined. she didn’t dare speak when she saw the glimpse of the cesar she knew, afraid she might shatter the moment. alix had become rather good at breaking things over the years. there were chains holding him back, though, and how she wanted to break him free. in the blink of an eye, his demeanor changed and she saw a wall come up. alix had been naive to think things could go back to what they were. she was ever the idealist, and time and time again it ended up wounding her. she wondered if she’d ever learn. “can’t that boy be freed, if only a little bit? can’t you let him breathe, cesar? are you just going to eulogize him as if he isn’t still here in your heart?” alix hadn’t meant for her words to grow emotional, but she found herself pleading with him.

alix had always believed cesar would be an excellent ruler, even as a fun loving and occasionally rambunctious child. didn’t he deserve that? to be a king who had the love and loyalty of his people, but also be able to laugh and find joy in the little things each day? to have such a burden on his shoulders, one that drained him and turned him as stoic as carved marble, must have been heartbreaking for the boy she once knew.

“but who do you want to be?” her gaze met his, equal parts familiar and unrecognizable. “i don’t want you to lose yourself for the sake of others or for the sake of what is expected of you.” she’d trade it all for them to turn back time and live as carefree children again.

“we must live without joy?” her brows furrowed as she shook her head, “no, cesar. i won’t do it. it’s been stripped from me once before and i won’t let it happen again.” alix knew danger lurked in santicarno, but would it be so terrible to briefly cope with a return to her past? “i didn’t ask for this title, cesar,” her voice trembled as she pressed her back against the bookshelf she was hiding behind, sliding down to the floor in defeat. “i didn’t want to take this place, i want to go back to the way things were. i used to believe i could outrun it, the pain. but now it seems it’s waiting in every corner for me to appear, to latch itself onto my heart.” 

teary mist filled her eyes and she didn’t have the strength to wipe away the tear that fell down her cheek. “i saw you again, cesar. whether you wanted me to or not, i saw the boy i once knew.” another tear fell, “surely within these library walls we can be those children again?” still on the ground, alix leaned over to peek at cesar, her eyes filled with cautious hope, “can we forget the work out there for a few moments? i’m scared.”

[heavyisthexxcrown]

Cesar studied her like he was trying to remember something he'd once known by heart. "You think I can just… walk back?" he said finally, his voice quieter than usual. "That the boy you remember is still waiting somewhere for me to pick him up again." He gave a tired, humorless laugh. "That boy didn’t survive the moment I set my eyes on the throne." Too much had changed and he had accepted it. He had fully embraced it without hesitation.

His words weren't cruel, but they carried a kind of worn truth, heavy and immovable. "Every step toward it takes something from you. A kindness here. A hope there. You trade them away for sharper edges, because softer ones will get you cut open." His gaze dipped for just a second, as if the weight of it threatened to bow his head, but then it was gone, hidden behind steel. Perhaps she wouldn't believe that he would want to be the man he was now but his resolve had been unyielding. There was no future for him if he had no crown. It was all he ever wanted all his life and all he had ever known.

"I can't be him anymore, Alix," he said, and there was a fleeting crack in the jaded calm, a flicker of something like grief before it shuttered. He wouldn't be that boy. "And if you keep looking for him, you're going to be disappointed. Better to remember him the way he was… before I made peace with losing him." His voice was soft as it was sharp, as if this. was the only truth he could offer. Perhaps she had the luxury yet still, or the dream to feel as she did - to cling onto the nostalgic past when he had long erased himself from those fleeting memories. It was if not, all gone.

Cesar’s jaw tightened, but he didn’t look away. The shine in her eyes hollowed something deep inside him. "Alix…" His voice was quiet, almost frayed at the edges. He drew a breath, and for a moment, it seemed he might say more. "I’m sorry." It was the only two words he seemed to be able to muster. Four syllables hung there, fragile, as if they might shatter between them. He half-stepped toward her, then stopped, his fingers curled loosely at his side.

[moonvcils]

was that an inkling of a smile gracing his features? she would not call it out, but it was nice to know her charms were not lost to the monotony of the french court.

"then i shall stay. sometimes it's nice to be amongst strangers." she sat down in a nearby pew, as if to emphasize she wasn't going anywhere.

diane was softly running her fingers over the rosary she still had clasped between her hands, enjoying the silence and company, when she found herself speaking. "i take it your prayers have not been answered, then? if you so easily denounce God within his own place of worship." she was not judging, merely stating facts. her curiosity got the better of her. "mine often go ignored as well... perhaps i do not pray out of desperation they are answered. sometimes it is just comforting to know someone is listening." for who did she really have to talk to?

her mother?

her husband?

her king?

no. none were options.

"i can be a fine confidant, should that be something you ever need." there was no deeper meaning to the statement, although coming from her, she could see how it could potentially be interpreted.

[heavyisthexxcrown]

"Belief has given me nothing but false hope," he murmured. His gaze was empty as he wondered what was to happen next now that it felt like all hell were to break loose. The pending doom of the future was certainly ... something to consider. Though, he wasn't really thinking that far deeply into the omen. There was a part of him that clung blindly to the belief that he would be safe and unharmed no matter what.

"Thank you," his tone was dry. He wasn't ever truly keen on sharing his personal thoughts with others and well ... she was a stranger to a certain degree. All he knew were the rumors surrounding her relationship with the French King and well, his opinion of Henri was never held in the highest regard. "Do you really believe there's a point to any of this?" he gestured at her rosary and then back towards the pews and all the grandeur. "Do you think God has rewarded you?" Truly, he wondered how one could hold any level devotion toward an entity that ordered blind obedience. Yet, the miracles that came were rare and few - too many were ignore and plenty suffered. What was so wondrous about a God who adored punishment?

[bonerots]

there are many days where sofia is not afforded the ability to do anything than think,   and more often than not,   her thoughts drift toward the man beside her.   if she were a girl again,   her shame would have manifested itself by now in one form or another;   the ache of avoidance or an odd string of awkwardness,   finding herself unable to both be in his presence and out of it.   she always knew,   after all,   that she was born to be married,   that as a daughter,   her only duty was to be a wife.   she knew that even if she didn't love her husband,   she would have to respect him.   she would have to put him first,   before even their children  (  his children,   they would be  ),   before herself,   before anything else.   and alonso is not yet her husband,   but he will be  (  as of now   ...   daydreaming about cesar saving her from her engagement is a pleasant way to make the days pass by faster,   but they are just daydreams   —   and she is unsure of if he enjoys her company the way she enjoys his company,   and either way,   it isn't her place to ask or wonder,   she is to be married to someone else  ),   and she knows,   somewhere within her,   that it's wrong to think of cesar before she thinks of him. but,   still. she can only peer up at him when he leans toward her,   study the lines of his portrait and let her lips curve just so as he speaks.   she's given it much thought,   she should respond.   she has given many things many thoughts,   so much so that she has to think before she speaks  (  which is always an uphill climb and not one she always conquers  )   —   even if she knows she doesn't have to with him.   sofia looks away,   lest someone even half - observant see the glint in her eye.   "  have i given it much thought?  "   she responds.   sofia tilts her head from side to side,   back and forth like she hasn't.   "  i think that's meant to be alonso's strength.   and yours.  my cousin's,   even.   but   ...   in the name of angering your mother,  "   sofia trails off,   allows herself a shrug that an older man might describe as coquettish.   "  say i have.   what good will thoughts do?  "

[heavyisthexxcrown]

There was something almost magical about the way Sofia carried herself, something that had a strangely refreshing effect on Cesar. He couldn’t say if it was their shared circumstances or simply a curiosity he rarely indulged, but he found himself wanting to understand her in a way he didn’t often allow. He enjoyed her company more than he cared to admit. And perhaps the bitter part of him took a quiet pleasure in how much it irritated his mother. But it was more than that, wasn’t it? That answer was still forming, unsettled but persistent. For once, he wasn’t entirely sure what he was after - only that it was something.

He watched the way she looked away; not out of disinterest, but the opposite. And she hadn’t denied it. That she’d thought of it. Of him. His gaze lingered on the curve of her shrug, the lightness in her tone that didn’t match the weight behind her words. "You're right, of course. Alonso thinks. My mother plots. Your cousin calculates." He paused, tone softer now, something gentler threading through the edge. "But you see things."

He paused, a subtle smile lingers on his visage, only brief enough for her to catch it. "What good are thoughts? None. But you’re still here beside me, aren’t you?" It was a tease, a light hearted jest before he continued the rest of his thoughts, “a broken engagement barely raises an eyebrow these days. And if clearing two troublesome pieces from the board frees you from a husband and me from my mother’s meddling… well, I’d call that mutually beneficial. With room, perhaps, for the occasional intermission." It was a simple offer, she provided him information, he could help break off her unpleasant arrangement; if she wanted to ... that is.

[moonvcils]

diane could not remember if she had ever spoke to the crown prince of spain, but she knew his likeness. of course she did. his sister was now the queen of france and she was certain she had seen him around the palace walls at least once since the union between king henri and queen rosalie.

she did not know much about his temperament, however, and would be lying if she said she was not slightly offended at his insinuation that any confession within a church was simply performative.

"i can assure you that there is no theatrics being performed here. otherwise i would take advantage of the audience outside this room." while he may not have said she was performing, she could not help but feel it was insinuated. if she were putting on a show, she would have collapsed on the ground and prayed out in the halls once the cardinal's rushed them all to safety. no, the moment prior was for her peace of mind and nothing else.

"is something outside of the earth shaking, biblical event causing you to seek solace, or..." shaking her head, she apologized. "forgive me, you said you needed silence, i can be on my way."

[heavyisthexxcrown]

Cesar didn’t laugh, but something in his expression shifted. It was the faintest pull at the corner of his mouth, like he’d heard a joke he didn’t find especially funny. He didn't feel any particular way towards the events of the evening nor did he feel like he had much of a heart to pretend like he was in absolute fear of the unknown. It would pass, as everything always did. The only purpose of it all was to survive.

"Even solitude can be rehearsed, but never mind that," he murmured, his mind drifting into other thoughts. He found himself skimming the stained glass as if expecting it to shatter from the weight of everything it tried to sanctify.

"You don’t need to go," he added, quieter. "I’ve had louder silences."

A pause.

"It’s not the prayers I mind. It’s the pretending they work." When had God truly provided a miracle? He had yet to witness anything holy and merciful first hand, rather, one would think the Devil was the world's keeper.

[amritavalli]

There was nothing going through her head in that moment — in fact, she barely registers what he says at all. A sense of dread consumes the entirety of her thoughts for a fraction of a second before it hits, barely enough to forecast what was to come, and definitely not enough to even consider giving him a warning. Later, she would wonder if she would have, if she could — there's some shame in uncovering a childish pettiness that gave a nonzero probability to a negative answer. But for now, there was nothing she could do to stop the contents of her lunch from forcing its way out of her mouth, half-digested with the sharp tang of her stomach acid.

The sheer force of her stomach contractions had forced her to double over, leaving her to throw up all over the floor and — unfortunately for the man — on his lower legs.

Relief is followed quickly by horror as she meets his eye, but that too doesn't last long; everything feels in focus again for a fleeting moment in their held gaze, and the absurdity of the entire situation leads to only one fathomable conclusion: laughter. One that shakes her from her core, with her palm still pressed against his arm.

[heavyisthexxcrown]

Whatever lurched from her mouth was absolutely putrid. And impressively, the scent managed to be more foul than manure.

"Fuck!" He was disgusted. Oh the feeling of the nasty, acidic bile of whatever she ate mixed in with whatever she took that left her on her little mind trip now stained his trousers. Fuck, he really liked these trousers. He staggered a step back, as if proximity alone might infect him. His lips curled. He looked at her like she was something rotting in the sun.

"You are vile." Then he turned.

Not another word. Not a glance. Just the sound of his boots, wet with her filth, retreating across the floor. He left her there, doubled over, stinking, laughing; because staying would mean acknowledging her.

And she hadn’t earned that.