Febely Ibarra, Elena Herrera, Joana Salas
Going Out-of-State for College
For many students, it’s a no brainer of going out-of-state for college, however it is not possible for everyone. Some people have the financial support to go wherever they can dream for college, but others it’s a sacrifice. I had my mind set on attending a college in Phoenix, Arizona; I thought it was going to be an easy decision. Turns out it was not the best option for me, so I stayed home. It used to be easy for me to picture myself leaving that I knew my whole life and start from scratch, but when the decision was in front of me I was terrified. It was a decision that still regret to this day. I wanted to explore others’ experiences of making the choice of leaving their home for college. I wanted to understand what obstacles came with moving out of state and how the moving process is. I interviewed three of my friends who went out of state, each of them in a different state. They are all from Albuquerque, New Mexico, and all graduated from Atrisco Heritage Academy High School. Elena Herrera is attending New Mexico State University in Las Cruces, New Mexico. She was in the Top Ten of her class and is a first generation student. Joana Salas has recently graduated from Las Vegas Bible College in Las Vegas, Nevada. She was born in Mexico, and later on in her life moved to the United States; she is also a first generation student. Febely Ibarra is currently attending Tufts University in Boston, Massachusetts. She was also Top Ten in her class and a first generation student. Even though they have similar backgrounds, each woman had a distinct experience with the process of going out of state. I asked all three of them the same questions, and these were their responses:
1. What influenced you to decide to go out of state for college?
Febely: My decision to leave Albuquerque for college was not an easy one, but one I’ve wanted to accomplish for as long as I can remember. Ever since I was young I dreamt of leaving Albuquerque, going to cities that were vastly different because simply I wanted to explore new and fascinating places. Not to mention, the lure that prestigious universities like Stanford or Princeton was hard to resist; I wanted to be recognized as something other than a ‘low-income’ girl from the Westgate’s. However, at the time those dreams were just that–dreams; a low-income girl who was part of a minority? People like me rarely made it to college, much less to a prestigious institution like Stanford. But as I got older and had the opportunities to visit places outside of Albuquerque, I become more and more enraptured with the different cultures and ways of thinking that I witnessed outside of Albuquerque until I began actually searching up cities and colleges that seemed to suit an adventurous introvert like myself. It wasn’t until I toured Northwestern University the summer before my senior year, where I was introduced to universities like Pomona or –my now current school– Tufts, that I knew I wanted to expand my horizons and be surrounded by different types of people, ideas, and so forth. Besides, I worked
hard my entire academic career so who was to say that the Mexican girl with the strange name like me couldn’t make it to a big-name school like all the privileged kids?
Joana: I never wanted to stay in New Mexico to begin with, but a simple youth church conference was the last push I needed to confirm how much I wanted to leave. I had always been with my family and always wanted to know what it’d be like to be on my own.
Elena: The feeling of being independent and transitioning into adulthood is what influenced my decision regarding where to attend college. I wanted to be able to be accountable for my decisions and experience everything college has to offer. Overall every school offers about the same education but the life learning that living on your own has is something I didn’t want to miss out on.
2. Who were the people that supported this decision?
Febely: Since I was young I always received support from teachers and counselors at my schools; they saw a potential that I didn’t. Yeah, I did always work hard to receive high-marks at school, but I did so because that’s what I thought was expected of me from my peers and family. However, my teachers always brought up the idea of Ivy League schools when I spoke with them. When I became more serious about leaving, my friends then cheered me on; they would read my essays or give me ideas of what to write about when I became disheartened or when my mind simply went blank. Then there were my mentors, particularly my mentors from a college prep Program I participated in (Upward Bound i.e. UB) and my college counselor from high school. They constantly challenged me to seek new opportunities and to push myself in school to improve my chances of actually making it to a private institution like Tufts. I know that without their help I wouldn’t have the motivation, intelligence or courage to actually leave Albuquerque. While many of my family members did not support my decision to leave due to their lack of knowledge and experience with these sort of things, I expected this from them; I was the first in my immediate family to leave New Mexico, after all. But my eldest sister, Yanitzel, was always my confidant, and one of my number one cheerleaders when it came to leaving New Mexico. Eventually, once I made it clear that I was leaving, the rest of my family came around. To this day, my family is one of my biggest support systems that I cannot imagine living without.
Joana: My parents and closest friends to me. Also, my pastors.
Elena: My parents have always supported my decisions even if they didn’t agree with them. They would’ve prefer I attended UNM but they supported my decision 100%. My parents and family knew I was capable of living on my own. Although at the beginning they did try to convince me to stay they quickly understood it was something I wanted to
do so they supported me. My dad, in particular supported my decision from the start and even though I could tell he wasn’t happy I would be leaving he never said a word that wasn’t in my support.
3. Who were opposed of your decision?
Febely: As I mentioned, my family had initially opposed of my decision of leaving Albuquerque. They recognized the immense benefits I could receive from coming to Tufts, but they also feared the unknown obstacles I would inevitably face when moving to a new city like Boston by myself. My mom especially feared of letting her only child leave and –unbeknownst me– she feared of being alone and forgotten. For a while, some of my closest friends opposed my decision too. They knew that it was a good opportunity for me, but they didn’t understand why I wanted to put myself through the struggle of being in a new environment and they especially didn’t understand why I wanted to leave them behind. I was eventually able to convince them otherwise, and continue to do so by keeping constant communication with them. Yes, they may have initially opposed my decision but have since then become my greatest supporters.
Joana: Church members who thought they knew what was best for me. Or people who thought I should be doing something different with my life. (Controlling people)
Elena: Some of my friends opposed my decision and tried to convince me to stay home. They wanted to continue the school environment that we had in high school at UNM. The main reason for which I believe they opposed was out of fear that we would grow apart. Eventually they all supported my decisions, some until I was already here.
4. How was the transition of moving out?
Febely: While I wish I could say the transition from Albuquerque to Boston went smoothly, I have to admit that it was a bit of a jumbled mess. My family was anxious the weeks before I left, which in turn would make me go into a state of panic. Not to mention I felt so unprepared the entire time; I wasn’t able to think properly and I constantly asked myself what it was that I actually needed. The entire summer my family debated who was going to take me to the city itself, and those were some of the most difficult conversations I had with them because they almost always ended in tears– particularly on the day it was decided that my UB mentors would take me due to financial strain it would cause my family. The day I actually left Albuquerque was calmer, albeit tears were still shed that day. However, the day passed by so quickly that it seemed I was in Boston in a blink of an eye. The day after arriving to Boston I moved into my dorm, which was rushed since almost the entire day was spent exploring Boston. This caused me to arrive at Tufts after the designated time they gave me, and set back the schedule with an orientation program I was enrolled in. It was, again, a jumbled mess, but one I was able to get through. The rest of orientation was smooth and simply a great experience.
Joana: Hard! I did not know a single person in Las Vegas and had no idea who I was going to be living with or what I was getting myself into. I guess leaving things and people behind was easy, leaving my family, was not. Overall, I got a fresh start.
Elena: Moving out was not difficult in my case because I had both financial and moral support from both of my parents. It was something I had looked forward to because I saw it as a way to be an authentic college student. Living in the dorms and being completely independent was something I had dreamed of. I was not at all scared, instead anxious do come explore adult life.
5. What were some struggles that you faced?
Febely: Like with any new experience, not everything is “easy peasy”. Since moving, I’ve experienced my fair share of culture shock. In a private institution like Tufts it is no surprise to meet people from privileged backgrounds, such as people from private high schools or people who come from wealth. Where I come from, I wasn’t exposed to people like that or to their culture, but here it’s like I’m constantly reminded of the fact that I came from a low-income family and from a state with one of the worst school systems. This has challenged me in ways I didn’t realize; I feel an unbelievable intimidation on a daily basis, and when I have discussions with others I am constantly reminded of my possible inferiority. Not to mention, I am one of the few New Mexicans here, and one of the even less Mexicans that attends Tufts; the level of discomfort is palpable at times. It’s not easy to connect with people when they don’t understand your culture; but luckily, most people are accepting and want to learn more, and it just makes it even more rewarding when I meet another person from New Mexico or from Mexican descent. Until now, the level of difficult expected in classes is one that I prepared myself for, but I am still told that there are even more difficult classes that I should expect in future semesters. A last personal struggle is communication, with both my peers and my professors; as an introvert, speaking up in any sort of atmosphere is a challenge for me, and one that I’m slowly overcoming in my classes and social environments. I also faced some of the most basic struggles that others face, such as being forced to become an adult and being homesick. Being away from home makes a person realize how much one takes for granted little things, like being able to have privacy or your mother’s cooking; things of that sort. Also, I now have to navigate things alone such as finding transportation, doing my own laundry and figuring out concerns regarding health insurance. It’s things that make you feel like an adult even though you recognize you aren’t one.
Joana: Creating new friendships, learning to get around (without a car), financial struggles, not knowing if I would have enough money to pay for rent or school payments.
Elena: The main struggle I had was finding my way around campus and town. I am easily lost so it took some time to get ubicated. Even to find my room I struggle the first day. This continues to be a struggle for me when I get asked to meet somewhere where I haven’t gone to before because although campus and the town are ‘small’ there is still lots of room to get lost in.
6. How was your first week of college?
Febely: My first week of college was much easier than I expected. I expected to be hit with assignments left and right, and to be overwhelmed by the amount of the amount of work given to me, but I wasn’t. I was also really taken aback by the kindheartedness of the students and professors here; they really seem like they all want to support one another. My first week of college was also one marked by loneliness; my birthday –the first one spent away from home– fell on the first day of classes, so it was almost like a constant reminder that my family wasn’t there. My family continuously called me or ‘facetimed’ me, which only further settled that they weren’t there. Nevertheless, I feel like the first week of college is either a hit or miss, and to me it was a hit because I actually began to feel like I was in my home away from home. I had an amazing time making new friends, exploring new academic topics, and exploring the Boston and Medford area in general. In spite of the nostalgia, I really enjoyed my first week at Tufts.
Joana: Lets just say it's not what I expected. I was surrounded by new people who loved to talk and were so outgoing. I am not. It was overwhelming.
Elena: My first week of college was exciting there was so much to explore and activities to get to know people. Aside from spending time getting to know the campus, I spent most of my time meeting new people and bonding with my roommates. The first week was all fun and zero stress. As to the first days of classes teacher were extremely friendly and explained in detail what the course consisted of. I know exactly what to expect for each class for the rest of the semester.
7. What is some advice for students who want to study out of state?
Febely: First off, students who want to go to college in general have to work really hard in their classes in order to be up to par with the amount of work expected in a university setting. If they want to attend an even more prestigious institution, one has to realize that the students who attend these places come from privileged backgrounds so one has learn how to look past that in order to avoid a sort of inferiority complex. Another piece of wisdom I can give is to thoroughly research everything about a college before going there; learn about the city, the mode of transportation, their academic programs such as minors and majors. This way they can really understand what they’re getting themselves do. This also helps one better prepare for the climate change that one experiences
(especially if you’re moving from the southwest to the east coast, or vice-versa), or the distinct cultures one will encounter. A few things that I wish I had done, but was not able to were visit the campus before deciding to attend the school, or at least talking with a student who attends the school. This means taking advantage of fly-in programs at the beginning of the semester, or simply getting in contact with the admissions office and inquiring about any possible opportunities. Usually, if there is a financial strain imposed on the student, they will work with them in order to get them to fly out to the school; otherwise, they can get the student in contact with an undergrad or graduate student at the school in case they have any questions. I personally did this after deciding to attend Tufts; although it didn’t have any negative side effects, I would have benefitted greatly from exploring these opportunities.
Joana: Make sure you are strong and independent enough. Save up your money, don’t make a decision out of impulse, but sit down and think thoroughly. People will either support you or be against you, you do whatever is best for you, not best for them. Don’t worry about change; changing your friends, your job, your home; endured change.
Elena: My advice for incoming freshman would be to be prepared to be on your own. You have to be able to be completely independent. There is no going back once you’re out of home so be sure that that is what you want. Another piece of advice would be to experience every little thing that college has to offer because you only do it once. Go out, attend games, take part in school events and organizations, have fun! Oh, and study too!
