Hedonia Obscura

Current obsession - The Wheel of Time. See pinned post about my fanart project. Also random stupid thoughts about WoT here

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List updates as I complete and post portraits. Please enjoy looking ❤️

Galad Damodred - Clean - Dirty - Sigil

Rand al'Thor - Clean - Dirty - Sigil

Berelain sur Paendrag Paeron - Clean - Sigil

Morgase Trakand - Clean - Sigil

Bela - Clean - Sigil

Thom Merrilin - Clean - Sigil

Elayne Trakand - Clean - Sigil

Gawyn Trakand - Clean - Dirty - Sigil

Min Farshaw - Clean (NEW)

[hedoniaobscura]

Wheel of Time fanart by me - Min

Finally, I’ve finished this one, and it’s Min! One of my least favourite characters!

I’ve painted her here in an outfit she’s mentioned in (But I can’t remember which book so I don’t have the quote) described as being pale rose coloured with tiny blue and white flowers on the lapels, cuffs, and on the outside of her legs, with a cream silk shirt, cut like a boy’s. I can’t remember if the shirt or the outfit is cut like a boy’s.

I stalled very badly getting this one done because of other distractions and my dislike of Min – I just didn’t feel very motivated to complete her portrait, and trying to paint curls turned out to be difficult and frustrating, so I just went with a sort of tousled wavy hair style.

This portrait is not as polished as some of the others – I’m always lazy with hands and didn’t bother smoothing her face much, or blending the tones of the pink outfit because I just wanted to be done with it! And besides, maybe leaving things a little rough is good these days, because it gives it that human-made touch. I might clean it up a bit for the sigil version. Might.

You can see the Master list for my Wheel of Time Fanart project here.

MINOR SPOILERS BELOW

Usually I try to do a little write up on each portrait I paint, but I’m so done with this one I can’t bring myself to go in to much depth. Min is a character who started off with so much promise and personality in the books.

She’s got a fun sense of humour, which we see when she’s teasing Egwene about staring at Galad, and again when she’s pretending to be a vapid airhead to spite Gawyn (that scene kills me every time), but when she goes to Rand’s side, Min becomes this weepy, trembling, emotional wreck who only seems to exist to please Rand, and she just becomes insufferable. So I've tried to give her a bit of an uncertain, vulnerable expression like she's about to burst into tears because that's how I think of her. I started with a completely different face for this portrait, but when I realised Min's hair wasn't cut like a boy's anymore when she appears in this outfit, I changed it to something a bit prettier.

I’ve been listening to the @everybodyhatesrand podcast, and they discuss how Min’s character is deteriorated by her love interest instead of improved, and I strongly agree.

I’d hoped that painting her would help me love the character a little more like it did with Gawyn, but no. Sorry, Min.

I’m so done. I need to choose who do to do next and hopefully they’ll cheer me up!

[hedoniaobscura]

Loooooook! I have a royal flush! I really should have done House Trakand as playing cards! Imagine being Rand on your first visit to Caemlyn and running into these idiots! ❤️And maybe I should have added Rand to this hand because he’s related through Galad’s bio mother and the two of them are like technically House Mantear. I mean, that would have given me five cards so I could have actually had a royal flush. It makes me think I need to do a Tigraine and a Taringail and a Janduin to really complete all branches of the Trakandamodredmantear+aiel family tree.

I think this is the funnest bit for me, looking back over my completed portraits side by side. It really motivates me to add to the collection.

I’m also listening to the @everybodyhatesrand podcast (it is hilarious and I’m in love with it plus all of the literary insight and humour) which I highly recommend if you’re looking for some WoT content to listen to. I’m laughing my ass off listening to the hosts, Sally and Emily, discuss how they think each character would be like to fuck. I’m dying. From the transcript for Ep #46:

Sally: I mean, I am in love with Egwene, let’s be honest. Emily: OK, we all are. Beautiful. Sally: She’s a lesbian icon. Emily: (laugh) Sally: She is. The fact that she and Aviendha don’t end up together is a crime. Emily: OK, discussion point: Galad’s terrible in bed because he’s never had to try. Sally: Exactly. Emily: Gawyn’s actually shockingly good in bed because he’s been compensating for having Galad as an older brother his whole life. Sally: Yeah. Agreed. Emily: OK, and that’s the only reason -- (laugh) Egwene is into him. Sally: Yeah. Emily: She’s like, “Damn. He’s actually really good at this.” Sally: Yeah, exactly. Emily: OK. Sally: But, again, I feel like if Galad just met Mat Cauthon, he’d learn to be -- Emily: He’d change. Sally: Very good in the bedroom. Emily: Yeah. OK. Sally: Mat is a hard-won lover. Emily: Yeah -- no, no, no he’s not. (laugh)

💀 They make up such great headcannon! It’s going to get me through the slog of finishing my next piece!

You can see the Master list for my Wheel of Time Fanart project here.

[hedoniaobscura]

Wheel of Time fanart by me - Gawyn "Sigil Version"

So I’m back from my foray into fanfic land, and realised I forgot to post the Sigil Version of everyone’s favourite disaster twink, Gawyn.

I didn’t do much tidying up on this one because I’m lazy, but I have changed the position of the sword, which is the Heron’s Flight blade by Brendan Olszowy from Fable Blades. Here, I wanted to show it point down as a reference to medieval tomb effigies or funeral scenes where the figure is holding the sword this way. I haven’t done any research into what the pose actually means, but it’s very grave-like, which is fitting for Gawyn.

I don’t think Gawyn ever actually becomes the first prince of the sword since he ditches Elayne for Egwene, but I went with that title for him here because nothing else was fitting. I guess I could have called him “Egwene’s Warder” or something since that’s ultimately what he becomes.

He’s another character with a personal sigil listed in the glossary, a charging white boar on a field of green. It’s a bit of a funny sigil, I think. What was Robert Jordan intending with his symbology with the sigils if he meant anything at all with them? In my late lamented fanfic ‘The Green Ajah Battle Games’, I had the teams choosing sigils to represent them, and Egwene didn’t want to use Gawyn’s because it’s a “wild pig”, not really a very heroic sigil or a beautiful one like Elayne’s golden lily.

So that’s all the Andor royals done, and I feel like I’ve completed a set of collectable cards!

I’d blazon Gawyn’s sigil as vert, a wild boar courant argent. Note, it is assumed animals face to the left by default, so there was no need to include “dexter” in the blazon.

I’ve got most of the next portrait done, but it’s of a character I’m not really fond of, which is why I stalled on it and wandered off into fanficland, I think. I’ll get it done though. Stay tuned!

You can see the Master list for my Wheel of Time Fanart project here.

[hedoniaobscura]

Ignore this if you’re here for the fanart

I’ve got a few things I wanted to reflect/vent about regarding writing fanfic. I'm posting this on my main because I'm done separating the fragments of my online self.

Recently, I had a go at fic writing as another way to engage with fandom. And not just writing fics! When I fixate on something, I want to delve into the culture and meta, so I read a bit about the origins of fanfic and the current attitudes surrounding it on reddit (I’d be posting there, but I’m banned from all of reddit for joking about bashing nazis.)

Much to my surprise, I found a huge divide between readers and writers, and clashing attitudes about fanfic. In bullet points:

Readers feel they owe writers nothing

Readers are anxious and don’t know what to say so they don’t comment

Readers think writers are entitled for wanting any feedback or comments

Readers think kudos should be enough to satisfy a writer

Writers feel like they’re shouting into a void and are being treated like content machines

Writers are berated for wanting engagement and are told Ao3 “isn’t social media”

Writers are told Ao3 is an archive, not social media

Writers are told they should write for themselves

I read that “old fandom” was much more of a community

I read that Ao3 was created to be more like Livejournal and foster discussion and community, not an “archive” as so many people say

I got the impression that the sentiments above between readers and writers are prevalent no matter how large the fandom is ie, being in a larger fandom that bestows larger interaction by default does not change the attitudes of readers and writers

I feel like people think of "engagement" as a social media term, but I'm using it to mean interacting with a work

Most of this is from the Ao3 Reddit and a bit of Fanlore, so I’m trying to take it all with a grain of salt, but having become a fic writer myself, I found myself more on the side of the writers than the readers, with my opinion shaped by my own experience. I want to talk about some of that.

In the paraphrased statements above, you may have noticed some from readers and writers that serve as explanations and consequences for each other. For example, readers feel they owe writers nothing and don't interact, so writers feel like they’re shouting into a void. Writers are told Ao3 is an archive, not social media, and readers think kudos should be enough to satisfy a writer, and so do not comment… and you get the idea.

There’s a lot of discourse on reddit about this (I did a search for topics about writers quitting or deleting their work), and I was shocked to see little sympathy for writers who felt discouraged at the lack of feedback or community, and the entitlement of readers who expected writers to “write for themselves” so they could be the silent beneficiaries. As if writers aren’t people with feelings spending hours putting effort and creativity into things readers consume in a matter of minutes, and then say nothing about what they thought of it.

You’ve probably realised that I’m heavily team writer by now, not that I think we should need to take sides at all; it’s not as simple as writer vs reader. I spent a lot of time considering the opinions I read, trying to balance them and consider different perspectives, but cleverer people than I gave such excellent rebuttals on behalf of the writers, that they won me over in the end, while people on the reader side wanted to scorn writers who dared express dissatisfaction, or writers who acted morally superior because they "didn't care about engagement."

So, to address some of the above. Yes, readers might be anxious about commenting, but why does the empathy only go one way? Why does their anxiety negate any feelings the writer—the one who is actually risking more and putting in more effort— might have? I’m sure there have been authors who have responded negatively to comments and scared readers off, but surely they’re the minority?

Writers are told to “write for themselves” for “the love of the game”, and I do agree with that to an extent. In my own experience, the writing is so much fun! It’s so exciting to see where a story goes next or what might happen every time I sit down at my laptop to write! It’s the sharing and posting that isn’t fun, and if writers are truly going to write for themselves, not sharing their work is what that looks like, and I don’t believe anyone who says otherwise. Posting is sharing, and we share for feedback, to learn what others think of our work, good or bad, even if it’s just a simple emoji or someone saying “I read this and had a good time” or “Not my cup of tea”.

I think any writer claiming they don’t care about feedback or what people think of their work is lying, putting on a brave face, or trying to keep in good standing with their fanfic community so they don’t come off as entitled. Not caring is cool, after all (no it’s not). If one genuinely didn’t care, then why share at all? So others might enjoy it? Hah! That sentiment negates the “I don’t care” attitude of a writer. If they want others to enjoy it, they do care, and they do share, and we’re damn lucky as readers that they do. I’d be interested in hearing opinions on why an author who allegedly doesn’t care about engagement with their work on why they share it. If they want to store it somewhere online, then there’s all manner of non-public ways to do that.

But about my own experiences which have heavily coloured my views.

I started my first fanfic in March 2026. I had an idea that evolved as I wrote it, and my story ended up being a Wheel of Time fanfic where I cast canon characters in the roles of masked agents working to counter plots by the Black Ajah. The gimmick was that the agents didn’t know who each other were because they wore masks and followed rules to preserve their anonymity. The readers were intended to not know either and pick up the identities from the writing clues until it was confirmed in text (but I did post a cast list in case people wanted to read without guessing). It went well beyond my initial idea, and I accidentally ended up writing the only Lan/Galad fic in existence, it turned into a trauma-fest, and I had so much fun! I finished at 224, 318 words and set up a sequel.

I also started writing a lighter, shorter, funner fic that I had an absolute blast with. The idea for that one was a tournament run by the Green Ajah for Accepted paired with a trainee Warder. The tournament was written as something that existed thousands of years ago to try and get girls to choose the Green, so the Amyrlin brings it back as a publicity/recruitment stunt for the White Tower. This fic was a slice of life friendship fluff fighting and action fic, and I set up a whole tournament structure with fixtures and group stages that I’d eventually write the fights and whole event for. It remains unfinished after 115, 573 words, just before the tournament was to begin.

The third fic I started was the sequel to my secret agent fic. That story was going to pick up the threads about the corruption in the Tower with Nynaeve, Siuan, and Moiraine playing detective, the secret agency trying to replace lost or dead agents, Sammy and Graendal causing shit, and Lan, Berelain, and Galad trying to find each other with very little clues about who they all were. It derailed terribly, and when it started to become “Fifty Shades of Galad” and that story got way more interesting to me than my actual intended premise, I quit writing it because I felt like I wanted a completely different story and that maybe I’d be cheating people by tagging Siuan/Moiraine when the story moved too far away from them. That one was quit at around 50k words including the Galad storyline stuff I didn’t post.

But how did these stories do? The first one, the secret agent fic, got mild interest from a few readers who said they’d become really invested in the plot. I knew it wasn’t going to get much attention when it became primarily an m/m fic in a heavily f/f fandom, so those comments were like diamonds to me! I know I made the premise a bit unclear and my summary wasn’t the greatest, but I was new and learned I should have been less mysterious about it. I got one comment where someone got mad at me for writing “gay sex” because they thought the premise might have been a good one if not for the dudes shagging each other. I had one reader interested in the sequel, but I quit writing that, and it felt good to stop sharing what I did write.

The Green Ajah Battle Games fic did much better. There’s probably more of an appetite for fun fluff about friendship and the characters learning to get along as teams. For teams, I paired Egwene and Gawyn, Mat and Elayne, and Nynaeve and Galad, and set the thing roughly during TDR in canon. I had maybe two people regularly engage with it every chapter, and it made me so excited to write the next chapter and see what they thought. But… this is where I also started to turn sour on fic writing.

That fic did so much better in terms of readership with 8 people subscribing (but never commenting). The hits kept rising and after every update, I’d get a solid chunk of views… but maybe one comment per chapter if I was lucky. For awhile, that felt ok. I know Ao3 isn’t social media or whatever, but it does have the option to comment or leave kudos and it shows hits, and when neither the comments came and the kudos stayed the same, I felt really used, and I think that’s a valid way to feel. So people were reading this fic, jumping on every update, but didn’t care to tell me what they thought? Not for me, I’m afraid.

Then I started reading reddit to try and understand this culture, and I saw all those horrible attitudes about entitled authors. I wondered if I was one of them. Was I really supposed to keep writing and posting just so others could consume my work, and expect not even a few words in return? I started to feel very resentful, and I didn’t like that. I didn’t think my writing was bad— people wouldn’t have kept reading if it was, unless they were hate reading? Who knows. I don’t, because they never said anything.

So I thought, if that’s how writers are expected to be, to spend hours alone writing and editing and then sending their stories off into the void for nothing, then it wasn’t for me. I think I went into fic writing with the wrong expectations. I wanted community. I wanted discussion. I wanted all the stupid crazy crackbrained fun that other forms of fandom gave (tumblr is great for this btw. Tumblr never feels lonely), but I think that fanfic isn’t a good place to look for that. Writing fic is such an isolating and lonely experience, or at least mine has been. I can only assume that perhaps the things I want to write are not the things that people want to engage with. The hit counter going up must be people clicking on it, deciding they don't like it, then clicking away? But why do that after every update?

I’ve decided that I can still have fun writing my stories, but the sharing bit isn’t really for me. That’s what it really looks like when an author is writing for themselves. I don’t have to shout into that empty void and feel like shit when people treat my stuff like just more content, as if there’s no real person behind its creation who isn’t getting any other form of feedback or money for doing it. I thought a lot about it, about why it feels bad to share my work, and that’s the essence of it. The fun of writing it is tainted by the silent, indifferent consumption of it, and if I never share my fics, then I'm never left with an expectation of engagement and disappointment when it doesn't happen. Fic writers and creatives are people with feelings, unfortunately, and I’m tired of pretending we aren’t.

There’s something about writing that just takes more out of me than painting, like, the expectations are different. Sharing my visual art doesn’t feel bad at all, even when people barely react to it. I see my fanart project as a way of contributing to the fandom, something for others to discover, so I don’t know why it feels so different when I try to do the same with writing. I guess I’m just not cut out for it.

I’m probably going to get flamed to all hell for expressing any of this, but so be it. I know there are other fic writers out there who feel this, and I’m sick of them being told their feelings aren’t valid, and that it’s wrong for them to be disappointed, or to be dismissed and accused of treating fic writing like social media. I’m sure there’s a few out there who do write fic for the clout, but for those of us who just wanted to find a bit of fun and community through a creative medium, I’m so sorry if you’re feeling this way too.

I have no solutions for anyone feeling the same, but I’m trying to regain some perspective and peace of mind by just making my stuff on Ao3 private and continuing to truly write fic just for myself.

Readers are absolutely free not to comment or engage as is their right, but they have to accept that's going to lead to authors feeling discouraged and some, like me, might stop sharing. And writers? If you're tough enough to keep screaming into the void, then you're a stronger person than I.

If you’re a reader of fanfic, please please please engage more with your favourite authors if you’ve been a silent reader so far. I'm begging you on behalf of the authors who won't, or are scared of being called entitled. Kudos is good but can only be left once, but you can leave many comments. Tell them what you liked, or even if you just had a good time reading (one of the most treasured comments I ever got was from someone who told me they had such a good time with my fic and that it was a delight to read – that was all).

Even an emoji is better than nothing. I think a lot of readers might be people who think their opinions don’t matter. They do, I promise you. What you think matters, even if you think someone else already said it. I’ve read you're anxious or don’t know what to say, but as I said to a commenter once on my fic who told me they usually don’t comment because they don’t know what to say, everything and anything you say is perfect!

The author is generally grateful to know someone cared enough to say something at all, and speaking for myself in the role of fic writer, I adore every single person who ever took the time to comment on my fic, even the ones who expressed dislike (lol that one guy who didn’t read the tags on my m/m fic and was unpleasantly surprised by the gay sex - I'm sorry, but honestly where did you think the fic was heading when Lan palmed Galad's cock to see if it was hard?)

I always leave a comment and kudos when I read, and now more than I ever, I know how important that is.

I do feel bad for the three or four people who were invested in my stories. I’m sorry to leave you hanging, but I need to take a step back. Irl, things have been a bit shit, and I think that’s altering my headspace. I started engaging with fandom in the first place because of an injury that left me unable to live my life the way I usually do, two surgeries, endless rehab, and am waiting for my third surgery later this year. I know I’m rather depressed and on meds to help with that, but the meds don't replace what I lost. I’d go outside and touch grass, but it’s a little more difficult to do that these days lol. I'll honestly be ok, really. I'm just adjusting and learning to navigate how things are, and I think I looked in the wrong place for something to make up for what I've lost. I'm sorry you're the collateral in this.

I might finish my fics one of these days, when I’m feeling less sore about this whole thing and not in such need of community or feedback, but I’m going to get back in my box and focus on fanart again for the time being.

Cheers, all. I just needed to vent. ❤️

HO/HF

[hedoniaobscura]

WoT Fanart by me - Gawyn "Dirty Version"

Since Gawyn is a combatant in the books and I’ve painted him with a weapon, he gets a “dirty version” aka a “messed up after fighting” version. I thought it’d be cool to rip one of his sleeves off.

I’ve only done three of these versions so far, with Rand and Galad being the other two (yay it’s the Trakandamodredalthor boys), because they’re the only ones I’ve painted holding weapons. So not every character will get a fight version since these are just for fun and being extra.

I’ve still got the sigil version for Gawyn coming, and he does actually have a sigil!

You can see the Master list for my Wheel of Time Fanart project here.

[hedoniaobscura]

Wheel of Time fanart by me - Gawyn

Next up! It’s Gawyn! Elayne’s brother, Galad’s half brother, Morgase’s son, and Egwene’s fella. I know he’s not a very popular character in the fandom, so there’s not much existing fanart out there of him. I have the whole Trakand/Damodred/al’Thor/Mantear royal fam now!

The outfit I’ve painted him in his imagined from a short passage in The Dragon Reborn, Chapter 16 - Hunters Three.

Two tall young men sprawled in chairs, all arms and legs. One, with his dark green coat undone to show a snowy shirt, shared Elayne’s blue eyes and red-gold hair, and his grinning face marked him plainly as her brother.

I’ll let this one simmer for awhile to see if I want to make any changes before the sigil version. Kind of finished this really quickly and posted it. I’ll probably tidy up some of the brush work at least. I'm torn between wanting to smooth everything out, or keep the painterly rougher feel to bits of it.

WHEEL OF TIME PORTRAIT PROJECT SO FAR: Galad - Clean - Dirty - Sigil Rand - Clean - Dirty - Sigil Berelain - Clean - Sigil Morgase - Clean - Sigil Bela - Clean - Sigil Thom - Clean - Sigil Elayne - Clean - Sigil Gawyn - Clean (you are here)

Big spoilers below the cut where I talk about my artistic choices for this portrait and ended up going on a Gawyn rant.

In The Eye of The World, Gawyn’s clothing is described as red, white, and gold iirc, and very fancy for a man, but I didn’t want to do more red and gold clothing, so we get the green coat.

There’s nothing to indicate the style of the coat, so this is completely made up by me drawing inspiration from what a lot of fanart seems to show the fashion to be, and other clues in the books. Gawyn is a prince, so his dark green coat wouldn’t be plain. I’ve made it brocade, because in another book (I can’t remember which), Egwene dreams of Galad and he’s been described as wearing a blue brocade coat. So, I assumed that Andoran fashion for nobles at least, involves brocaded silk, even when it’s men’s clothing.

I wasn’t going to give him a frilly shirt like I did with Rand, because I hated painting that and I still don’t think it looks right, so Gawyn got a plainer lace up shirt. When Gawyn is wearing this outfit, he’s at the White Tower for Warder training, so I doubt his clothing would have been super fancy with lace and all. The laces were annoying, but I managed to figure them out.

The patterns are all texture overlays, as is the button, which I just copy/pasted multiple times.

The sword I’ve given him is the Heron’s Flight blade by Brendan Olszowy from Fable Blades, but we’re seeing it side on here. When I do the sigil version of this portrait, I’m going to move the sword so we can see the hilt and Gawyn’s face properly. Since he's holding a weapon, I'll probably do a "dirty version" for this portrait too.

Because I am impatient, I’ve left the brushwork on the hands messy. They could have done with extra work.

I wanted to make sure he looked like Elayne’s brother since the books make it clear that it’s obvious the two are siblings. He’s got the same colour hair and eyes as she does, and I hope I’ve given them faces that look enough alike that they’re related.

Gawyn is described as being one of the most handsome guys the girls have seen (until they see Galad – and there’s a hilarious passage where Egwene meets G&G for the first time and she’s gone so ga ga over Galad, and Gawyn is all “hello? I’m Gawyn in case you didn’t hear me?” But he’s good natured about it, probably used to it around his brother) so I’ve tried to make him cute enough to catch the eye of Egwene.

Now that I think about it, Egwene is the only girl who shows any attraction to Gawyn, which is odd if he’s meant to be a looker. Most of the other boys have multiple women interested in them, but sadly I think Gawyn’s role in the story was largely to give Egwene a boyfriend, so it may not have served to write in other love interests for him. And I guess no one noticing poor Gawyn is a device to play up the comedy of women swooning over Galad – G&G are together for most of the time until the tower split.

Gawyn cops a lot of hate in the fandom, and I can honestly see why. To me, he’s a very tragic character.

When we first meet him through Rand’s perspective in Eye of the World, he’s an absolute delight! He’s chill, seems to have a sense of fun about him, and is Elayne’s partner in crime. He’s nice to Rand, and it felt like those two would become friends later on in the story.

During the White Tower stint where he’s training with the Warders and the girls are novices, Gawyn has some hilariously fun interactions with multiple characters. The scene with Min and the Children of the Light book is fantastic. The Mat fight scene is one of my favourites – Gawyn is gracious in defeat and even says to Mat he’ll listen next time (when a boy with a stick says he can whoop his ass).

It’s when the Tower splits that the Gawyn hate starts. He makes a whole bunch of bad choices that lose him a lot of reader goodwill and seem blatantly stupid considering he’s in love with Egwene.

The tragedy of Gawyn is that he just can’t allow others to be the protagonist above him, and that he seems to have no moral code. He allies with Elaida because he’s pissed off at Siuan, but doesn’t really think it through or examine where his allegiances should be, and he doesn’t seem capable of committing to his actual duty to his sister and Andor, and then later to Egwene. I really really was annoyed with him for not immediately going to be Elayne’s First Prince of the Sword when she was fighting for the Lion Throne. Supporting his sister should have been his number one priority, not faffing about with Elaida’s Tower. He actually had an official proper duty to return to in Andor, while at the White Tower, he was just some dude leading soldiers.

He doesn’t seem to be able to handle being in someone’s shadow, which is ironic because he’s been overshadowed his whole life, by Elayne since she’s the Daughter-Heir, and by Galad because he’s better looking and a better swordsman. So it’s tragic that Gawyn can’t accept his place as secondary to Egwene. He can’t live in her shadow, and honestly, I relate to him so hard here. I don’t think I could handle being the partner of a super famous or successful or talented person – nothing you ever do would ever compare, and everything would always be about them in your lives.

And then, he goes and makes that silly decision with the Blood Rings. Sure, Egwene might have been captured by the Sharans if he had not, but he could have told her what he’d done any maybe they could have averted death by Blood Ring, not that it happened anyway.

His choice to 1v1 Demandred isn’t a bad one per se, but people hate on Gawyn because risking himself compromises Egwene, and he fails at killing Demandred. Remember, Lan makes the same choice, to 1v1 Demandred, and he’s bonded to Nynaeve, so his death would have screwed things up majorly for the Light too. We only forgive Lan because he succeeded and everyone is a Lan fanboy.

It’s so damn tragic how Gawyn dies in Galad’s arms, and while he’s dying, he regrets not being good enough, but he only wasn’t good enough at the things he shouldn’t have been attempting to do anyway, like outshine Egwene! If he’d been content to be in her shadow, he’d probably have been an amazing WarderHusband dude.

I guess the biggest tragedy for Gawyn was that he never learned. Never learned where his loyalty should have been or where his duties really were, and never learned that he didn’t have to be emulating Rand to be a hero – he could have been one by doing his damn duty!!

Anyway. I don’t hate Gawyn. I find him frustrating and tragic and will never forgive him for dying on Egwene (she should have had her happily ever after even if it was with this himbo dunce!) and making Galad cry.

So I really didn't intend for this to turn into a Gawyn retrospective. Oh shit! Did I just turn into a Gawyn apologist?

Not sure who I’m going to paint next now that I’ve done the Andor Royal Fam. I might need to start a re-read/listen and pay attention to when outfits are mentioned to decide!

[hedoniaobscura]

Wheel of Time fanart - Galad "Sigil version"

Galad is one of those guys who does actually have an official sigil, but again, there's just about no in world mythology about how the sigils of nobles work, and they don't follow real world heraldic rules (but why should they?)

This version of the portrait has the white belt, because I like it much better than a plain brown leather belt. The white leather on the TV Whitecloaks looked pretty slick, even if they are a bunch of assholes. One thing I do like about the Whitecloaks is how in the books they're basically dressed like Templar knights. I love painting armour and stuff like that. So maybe I need to paint more Whitecloaks.

Back to sigils. Galad's father Taringail had the sigil of a double sided golden battle axe. His mother, Tigraine, had the sigil of a woman's hand gripping a thorny white rose. And that's not even mentioning their house sigils and colours. So how do we get Galad's winged silver sword point down from that? Did anyone ask RJ if there was a system for bestowing sigils? I'd be so curious!

Anyway, I'd blazon Galad's as "A sword inverted palewise, winged displayed and elevated, argent". No idea if you'd use bird wing terms for sword wings, but there we go.

[hedoniaobscura]

Wheel of Time fanart - Rand "Sigil version"

Of course, Rand gets the dragon because he is the Dragon! It's not a sigil in the same way the Andoran nobles etc seem to have sigils, but it's definitely his symbol.

Originally, I didn't intend to have him holding Callandor, but people seem to like Callandor so it happened. That's why it doesn't look quite right - I didn't paint that hand gripping anything.

I'd blazon the dragon banner "Argent, a wingless dragon passant gules, detailed or", I don't actually know how to say the dragon is red with a yellow outline. Never said I was an expert!

[hedoniaobscura]

Wheel of Time fanart - Berelain "Sigil version"

I had to alter Berelain's pose here, so I could keep the sigil in the top left corner without overlapping on the figure.

I don't think Berelain has a personal sigil, but she'd obviously use Mayene's golden hawk in flight with the blue background.

So I'd blazon it "Azure, a hawk soaring affronté, wings displayed and elevated, or". at least in my version. On the wiki, the hawk looks like it has its back turned to the viewer which would change the blazon to recursant rather than affronté. I think. I'm not an expert.

[hedoniaobscura]

Wheel of time fanart - Morgase "Sigil version"

I loved painting Morgase in an Elizabethan frill, but it wasn't book accurate, and I couldn't make it work with the Andorran stole described in EotW.

So here, we have the stole as described, and I used the Andor chapter icon for the heraldic lion, deciding to have them face in opposite directions on each strip because I thought it looked balanced, and the positioning of the lions was never described, I don't think? Other than that they're rampant?

She has a slightly different facial expression too.

Morgase's personal sigil is three golden keys. It didn't say how those keys were arranged, so I took the liberty of crossing them and making the middle key double sided. Interesting that in real world heraldry, two crossed keys is the emblem of the Vatican.

Since no field for her heraldic charge is given, I'd blazon it "Two keys saltire, one key double bit palewise in fesse point, Or"

[hedoniaobscura]

Wheel of Time fanart - Bela "Sigil version"

I legit cared about Bela as I read these books. As a former horsey kid, she really stood out and I know others feel the same because this fandom has so much affection for our bestest girl Bela. I cared about her to the point where I googled what happened to her before I finished the books, and I was not happy. Thankfully, they fixed that fuck up. I still get sad when named horses die in these damned books.

I quote from the WoT Companion:

"She was thought to be dead, but unaccountably survived. In the first years of the Fourth Age she gave birth to a strong colt and a splendid filly and retired to green pastures in the Two Rivers"

My head canon is that some Aes Sedai looking for wounded on the battlefield found her, pulled the arrow out and Healed her. Then took her back to the camp of the Forces of the Light, where Tam recognizes her and brings her home. Oh and the sire of her offspring is obviously Mandarb.

She also gets the WoT symbol, as Bela has no official sigil.

[hedoniaobscura]

Wheel of time fanart - Thom - "Sigil version"

I really feel like I didn't do Thom justice, but I've learned my lesson in starting a painting without a clear idea of guidelines for their outfit. I was just too fixated on "gleeman's cloak" and didn't bother to read much else!

I've changed the shape of his cloak a little in this version, and I really wish I spent more time on it overall and done an accurate version of what he actually wore. Maybe when I get better and more confident, I'll give him a makeover. The original Thom version got a lot more love than I expected, so thank you all. It made me feel like I didn't screw it up as much as I thought!

As far as I'm aware, Thom doesn't have a personal sigil, so I've given him the WoT symbol.

[hedoniaobscura]

Wheel of time fanart - Elayne "Sigil version"

I’ve finally learned what “the queue” is on Tumblr and am loading it up to post each sigil version individually while I’m away. Think of these as the "official" set.

Not much different about Elayne here since I was satisfied with her the first time around!

Her personal sigil is a golden lily on a blue field.

I’ve always wondered how nobles got personal sigils in Robert Jordan’s world. Like, what are the rules regarding them? They don’t seem to follow real world heraldic conventions, but then why would they? It’s interesting how sigils and banners play a role in WoT, but Jordan never went full on heraldry nerd.

The blazon for Elayne’s sigil would be “Azure, a lily or”.

WHEEL OF TIME PORTRAIT COLLECTION: Galad - Clean - Dirty - Sigil (will link to separate post) Rand - Clean - Dirty - Sigil (will link to separate post) Berelain - Clean - Sigil (will link to separate post) Morgase - Clean - Sigil (will link to separate post) Bela - Clean - Sigil (will link to separate post) Thom - Clean - Sigil (will link to separate post) Elayne - Clean - Sigil (You are here)

[hedoniaobscura]

Wheel of Time fanart by me - Elayne

Finally broke my painting block. And it’s Elayne, our favourite Daughter-Heir of Andor! Child of Morgase Trankand and Taringail Damodred. Sister of Gawyn, half sister to Galad, and Rand’s OG girlfriend.

I’ve illustrated her wearing the outfit she was described as wearing when Rand first meets her in Eye of the World.

“A deep blue velvet cloak lined with pale fur rested on her shoulders, its hood hanging down behind to her waist with a cluster of silver bells at the peak. They jingled when she moved. A silver filigree circlet held her long, red-gold curls, and delicate silver rings hung at her ears, while a necklace of heavy silver links and dark green stones he thought were emeralds lay around her throat. Her pale blue dress was smudged with bark stains from her tree climbing, but it was still silk and embroidered with painstakingly intricate designs, the skirt slashed with inserts the colour of rich cream. A wide belt of woven silver encircled her waist, and velvet slippers peeked from under the hem of her dress.”

I’ll talk about my choices and interpretation below the cut!

I'm sure I'll look at this tomorrow and want to fix/change things, but that's why I make the sigil versions! Gives me a chance to rework things I didn't like.

WHEEL OF TIME PORTRAIT COLLECTION: Galad - Clean - Dirty - Sigil (will link to separate post) Rand - Clean - Dirty - Sigil (will link to separate post) Berelain - Clean - Sigil (will link to separate post) Morgase - Clean - Sigil (will link to separate post) Bela - Clean - Sigil (will link to separate post) Thom - Clean - Sigil (will link to separate post) Elayne - (You are here)

***BOOK SPOILERS BELOW***

After the struggle I had painting Thom, I went right back to the books before I thought about who to paint next. I wanted a clear description of what a character was wearing so I was guessing as little as possible, and I remembered that Elayne gets a good introduction in EotW.

While Jordan describes a lot of details, there’s very little in the way of style actually mentioned so educated guessing is necessary to an extent.

The “wide belt of woven silver” is one such educated guess. I’ve treated it like the belt is metal links. I assume it is actually metal because it isn’t described as say, “silver leather” or “silver thread”. I think in later books female characters wear chain belts, so I’m assuming that’s what Jordan was thinking here.

The silver filigree circlet is pretty clear. It’s just the pattern I guessed, and how it’s actually sitting on Elayne’s head.

I didn’t go exactly with what the passage said about her necklace, because a necklace of heavy silver links sounded really chunky, and I didn’t think Elayne would be running around with a big ass chunky necklace while she was climbing trees.

I was reluctant to paint her blue dress because I’d already done Berelain in blue, but there was no avoiding it. When Jordan talks about slashed skirts, I believe this is what he means. I can’t remember where I’ve seen that style before, but I think it used to be quite popular in fairytale picture books and older fantasy? I added the cream panel to the bodice because the dress looked lacking without some sort of detail there.

The intricate designs, I assumed were like a brocade, so I’ve added a rose pattern overlay, because roses/rose crown etc.

I didn’t really give her curls, mostly because I’m lazy, but her hair is wavy, and it’s strawberry blonde, a bit lighter than I did Morgase’s, because I thought when I want to do Gawyn, he has to have the same hair colour, and I don’t think he’s ever described as a full on red head. (Also got me thinking about Trakand/Damodred/Mantear phenotypes vs genotypes and polygenic traits. Thinking back to the punnet squares I learned in high school human biol, we have to assume that Taringail carries the recessive gene for light hair mutations. This is expressed in both Gawyn and Elayne, but not Galad, who inherited the dominant dark hair/eyes genes. Which would make sense, since Tigraine must be double recessive, which is why Rand comes out with grey eyes and red hair. Morgase has a similar genotype as Tigraine. Sorry. I don’t know why I think of this kind of shit. But, where did Taringail get the recessive eyes/hair that expresses itself in his Trakand kids? And does Moiraine have it? Because if we knew that, we could possibly trace it back to whichever parent passed it on. Moiraine and Taringail are only half siblings. Asking the important questions here.)

BUT I DIGRESS.

I wanted to paint an Elayne that looks sweet and kind and that people would fall in love with and follow as their queen. And cute enough that people will put up with her bullshit. I swear, in the later books when she took all those dumb risks, I wanted to slap her! She was getting people killed left, right and centre! Could you imagine what a disaster Andor would have been with her as Queen and Gawyn as the First Prince of the Sword? The Trakand-Damodred kids have questionable decision making skills. It’s no wonder Elayne hates on Galad so much; he doesn’t seem to be the type to tolerate her bullshit.

I’m finding a new appreciation for these characters as I paint them, and I feel like I like Elayne more now. I guess I’ll see if that feeling lasts when I do a re-read and get to her pregnancy chapters.

Thinking about who I’ll do next, but it’s probably going to be Gawyn so I can complete the Andoran Trakand-Damodred royal fam set. I realised I’ve already got both of Tigraine’s sons, the Mantear-Damodred-al’Thor line (oh, but not Moiraine yet if I’m doing sets of houses!)

Stay tuned!

[hedoniaobscura]

Hey! What are your thoughts on Lord of the Rings? WoT made me love the high fantasy genre and it lead me to fully immerse myself in LOTR lore. Such a complex story!

Hi there!

I first read Lord of the Rings in high school when I was on my own fantasy discovery (I read it before I ever read WoT). I loved the adventure of it and it was one of my early introductions to fantasy. Sam was actually my favourite character! He was so innocent and loyal and sweet. I think LotR was such a pioneer for the genre, and the story itself was a classic good vs evil with good prevailing. It felt very morally unambiguous and the characters and their motivations were easy to understand. I haven't revisited the books for a long time, so I may have a different reading of it now as an adult. There's probably a lot I missed the nuance of as a teenager. There's so much lore we have actual Tolkien scholars running around!

I tried reading The Silmarillion next, but to be honest, I never finished it. It wasn't an adventure fantasy story - it was dry and confusing to my teenage brain and I just wanted cool stories with swords and magic and heroic deeds!

I also enjoyed The Hobbit, and it felt a little more aimed at younger readers than LotR. It strongly reminded me of the Narnia books (and later I found out that Tolkien and Lewis were friends!).

Then the Peter Jackson movies came out, and like the books being genre-defining for their era, these movies were too. They made fantasy into a serious genre for film and TV and we wouldn't have things like the first five seasons of HBO's GoT without them. I LOVED the movies (even bought the action figures and had Frodo, Legolas, an Uruk-Hai, Gandalf, and Shadowfax) even though they deviated from the novels. I think they did a magnificent job of bringing the story to modern audiences. I enjoyed the Hobbit films too. I know they get a lot of criticism, but I'm not one of those edgy online haters of things.

EXCEPT when we get to Rings of Power. Fuck that steaming heap of shit. I've never seen anything worse in my life! I watched both seasons, hoping S2 would be better, but jesus motherfucking christ it was not. Utterly boring, horrible characterization, and just a mess. I won't hear excuses about "but Amazon is only allowed to use certain IP". No. No excuse. There are fanfic writers out there who could have done a better job with the limitations given.

I apologise that I've ranted more about the film/tv LotR. It's been so long since I read the books I can't present you with any in depth opinions other than "Yeah, they're great and I enjoyed them and they are compulsory reads if you're a fan of fantasy."

[hedoniaobscura]

>Incoming blogging.

I’ve been a kind of creatively (painting) burned out lately and haven’t even started on my next WoT portrait. I’m not even sure who I want to do next. I think I got so frustrated with Thom it short circuited my brain. It’s been ten days since I opened Photoshop and picked up my pen. Life has been a much lately.

I’ve been trying to avoid acknowledging it by writing fanfic (it’s so much easier to be creatively motivated when I don’t have to paint haha) and it’s been a really fun time (I’ve never written fanfics before and didn’t realise it can be like having a book in your head and you don’t know how it’s going to turn out, so every time you go to work on it, you get more of the story – what I’m saying is, Fanfic people, I totally understand you now.)

But I really want to get some more portraits out before I have to go visit family and be away from my Wacom. (At least travelling 12hrs will give me a good excuse to re-listen to the WoT Audiobooks).

So I thought a good way of trying to get my brain back into visual gear would be to revisit the processes I’ve already completed instead of focusing on the frustration I felt with the last portrait and being completely avoidant. I've got to fall back in love with things.

I always periodically save a version of the image I’m working on before I break so I can look back on how it’s come along. I love seeing progress pics of art personally, and love it when artists make videos of it. I don’t have access to fancy software anymore (need another job that gives me access to full CC), so I’m doing what I can with my ancient copy of Photoshop (yar!), and making it make me videos from still images!

I wish I’d taken more of the “between stages” shots so I could see things that really infuriated me which I eventually “fixed”. It's quite encouraging to look at early versions where I was tearing my hair out and then to see the finished thing and go "oh ok, it turned out ok stop being so dramatic".

Anyway! Here’s a short vid of all the progress pics! And you’ll see what I mean when I say I can’t actually draw. Look at what passes for lineart when I do these things haha. I can paint (kind of treating Photoshop like traditional paint), but I can’t draw worth a damn these days so I don’t even try.

Music credit here.