@irninfidel said: “when someone rigs it from the start, and then says ‘try your best!’, doesn’t that make you mad?”
mituna thinks about being mad, for a second; when he’s so angry he can’t keep his eyes shut even in dreams, when everything ends around him and he knows with all the certainty in the world that none of it would have happened if they’d listened, if they’d let him help -- and he doesn’t voice that, because kankri’s taught him a lot about unwanted assistance, especially lately.
“OF COUR5E ITT DOE5,” he says, but he shrugs at the same time, picking absently at his nailbeds. the skin there is already frayed and speckled with gold, but he’s growing out of chewing on his fingers, he thinks. he has things to do now, other things to focus on. “NOTT REALLY MAD TTHOUGH. NOTT A5 MAD A5 I CAN GETT.” not as mad as it makes kankri.
“WHATT DOE5 TTHATT EVEN MEAN TTHOUGH??” he likes that the second t sound is always implied, even when it isn’t there. “LIKE I KNOW WHATT YOU MEAN BUTT ITT5 NOTT LIKE I GETT ANGRY OVER ITT WHEN I DONTT 5EE ITT HAPPENING.” when it isn’t happening to him, maybe. when he isn’t aware of it, certainly. he isn’t naieve, but he isn’t cynical, either. how quaint, to find a middle ground instead of two extremes. “AND EVEN TTHEN IM NOTT MAD LIKE MAD. I DONTT HAVE TTHE WORD, 5ORRY.” his face twists for a second, and he gives kankri a quick glance, defensive in case he finds mockery. not being smart didn’t bother him until he started to feel like kankri expected more from their discussions than tangiental questions and metaphors that only half made sense.
he supposes he doesn’t want to be boring, is all. he never minds learning, but the information is always hard for him to hold onto, like it’s been covered in oil first. “BEING MAD I5 DIFFERENTT FOR ME I TTHINK.” or maybe it isn’t, and all mituna can think of right now is where he falls short. “WHEN I GETT ANGRY ITT5 A WHOLE DIFFERENTT TTHING. REALLY ANGRY I MEAN. DOE5 TTHATT MAKE 5EN5E?”
