• Anything ending in -cist/-phile (reader related)
• Bodily functions (urinating, defecation etc.)
• Certain kinks
- FEEL FREE TO ASK FOR:
• Character x Character (any gender)
• Character x Reader (any gender)
• Various scenarios: Angst, Fluff, Romantic, Hurt-no-comfort/with-comfort etc.
• FANDOMS •
Twisted Wonderland
Haikyuu
Mob Psycho 100
One punch man
Fragrant flower blooms with dignity/Kaoru hana wa rin to saku
Kimi ni todoke/from me to you
Genshin impact
Kimetsu no yaiba/demon slayer
Seven deadly sins/Nanatsu no taizai
Disney (yes, princesses and their love interests as well as the villains)
Bridgerton
Pulp fiction (Vincent I love you💗)
Castlevania (the animated series)
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If you are to request any other fandom, please state the character's full name and where they are from. I shall do my best to research their personality for I strive for the characters to be accurate.
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— MASTERLIST LINK SHALL BE ADDED AFTER FANFICS ARE WRITTEN —
I REALLY like Malleo, im a HUGE fan of this ship, but a lot of people don't like it (which I understand) but I feel like I have to explain why I ship it and how I see it
I dont think Leona actually hates Malleus, more so Malleus just became the target of his years of anger, sadness, and jealousy.
Leona finds something hes good at, something where he is the best at, something that actually motivates him to get up and be better at.
Then Malleus comes along and absolutely beats his ass at the spell drive competition.
The one thing that he was the best at, seen as number 1 at, was taken away from him immediately.
Hes upset, upset at the fact that he isn't good enough at the thing he's is supposed to be the best at. And where does that anger and resentment for himself go to? Straight to the person who is better than him, Malleus.
Instead of looking at himself (or getting a fucking therapist) and working through these feelings, he takes the easier way out, throwing his emotions onto another person.
That's how I see it from Leona's Pov.
Also reminds me of how he doesn't actually hate Cheka, his nephew, he hates the fact that this child will get all the things that he has always wanted. So Instead of getting a goddamn therapist and sorting out his feelings healthily, he builds resentment aimed towards the person that has what he wants.
Bam bam anywahs I also think Malleus and Leona are a lot more similar than they think. As a child people were scared of Leona because of his UM, he definitely was a lonley child just like how Malleus was. Also having somewhat similar titles of Prince, they definitely both have been treated differently by their peers. Leona treats Malleus like a person (or like how he treats everyone else LMAOO) Which is different from how Malleus is usually spoken to, because who would want to disrespect the future King of Briar Valley huh?
And honestly, I think is exactly what Malleus wants to be treated like a person, to be able to banter with another, to have a fair rivalry with someone who wont back down just because of his title.
Yeah this is my fuckass rant, It definitely probably doesn't make much sense because im sleep deprived, its 1 am, and I just fried my brain after doing schoolwork but I love my boys so anything for them.
Sorry if things are repetitive, im tired and I am not proof reading this (im posting this on tumblr for gods sake Lawl)
Take this meme I made as a thanks for listening to my yaoi rant
Summary: Lilia's beloved husband, male!reader, dies while he is fighting on the front lines during the human-fae war.
Genre: Angst, hurt/no comfort
Pairing: Lilia Vanrouge (Twisted Wonderland)x male!reader / reader has the fantasy chronic illness
- 2nd person POV, one shot -
- divider: @thanathecreator (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧
A/N: My first fanfic on Tumblr, I really hope that you guys like this one.
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🎶 recommendation: Army dreamers — Kate Bush
What is the point of war? To gain power, land? Or to lose countless soldiers, countless civilians who had the misfortune of living? To spill acres of blood and cut off every limb on a peasant who had no other means of surviving besides signing their lives off in hopes to recieve even a bit of bread and drinking water? Or could the ultimate goal be separating families? To drag away husbands, fathers, brothers and sons into battle, to give them armour and swords and force them to defend the homeland that has done and will continue to do nothing but leave them begging on the streets after releasing them from military duty?
Most wars end in devastating amounts of death, ruthlessly devouring children and assaulting women. If your homeland is on the losing side you face humiliation and despair, if on the winning then no one other than its rulers are left with joy and fill their days with celebration. Most soldiers don't return but, the ones that do are forced to go back to normal and continue their previous lives with no one to understand the terrors they've faced. Many wives are left with husks of people they've once loved deeply, their hands and feet ruined from the grueling work they've had to take up during the absence of their beloveds.
Some lonely men, whether they would return or not, had married right before they were drafted. At least then they could have something to drive them forward. The thought of having someone waiting for you at home was comforting, it pulled some out of their righteous fear of dying at any possible second. It gave them all a shared topic to talk about, just mention having a wife and wishing to see her once more, then someone would join in and mention their own and the conversation would carry on. Lilia was amongst those men, he had gotten married exactly 3 years before he was called to war.
Luckily for Lilia, you weren't drafted. Not seeing his husband die from a human's sword had placed a temporary ease on his mind and heart. Temporary ease. Unluckily for both of you, you would be left at home forever bound to a bed in your shared cottage. You were sick when you met Lilia and your condition had only gotten worse, your bones ached and ached until you could no longer move from the pain. At times, when you'd cough, blood would spill and your lungs felt as if they were repeatedly pricked by needles. Even your skin felt uncomfortable, so cold to the touch, how could anyone enjoy your presence? You must have committed a great crime in your past life for you to be so punished in this one.
But Lilia didn't mind. He, much like you, had been abandoned. Abandoned and left on his own. Perhaps that is why your paths crossed on a sunny day in the middle of the summer solstice. He had found you writhing in pain on the ground and had brought you to his little house, the house you would unknowingly remain in until your very last breath. How joyful your life with him was, he was a grump but when it came to you, oh how sweet he became. It was like a stray cat finally being adopted, wary and harsh at the start but now he curled into your lap. He didn't mind carrying you to the bath and washing you himself, he didn't mind cooking you meals and chopping wood the entire summer just to keep you safe from the winter frost. For every festival he'd bring you back a trinket along with himself in a jolly mood and soon a kiss to celebrate.
".. You'll get sick yourself, silly.." you'd scold him often, but your words went through one ear and out the other. Then, accompanied with a rare and sheepish smile, he'd often reply "Perhaps that way I would take away your illness and cure you".
How kind of him to dream of such a thing. How truly kind of him to help you with chores and to deliver you medicine even in the worst of storms after which you'd force him to get a bath lest he be bedridden as well. Though, his reasoning wouldn't be as harsh as yours, a common cold was nothing compared to your sickness most doctors didn't even know how to name.
How kind of him to run home as soon as the war ended even if his leg was broken. But how unkind of him to think that you'd still be waiting for him in this storm like the many times you've done so before. Lilia entered the cottage and called out for you so many times, so many times only to come into the bedroom and see you sleeping so peacefully. So peacefully one would think that you are dead. "Oh, my pearl thank the seven.. I thought that you would remarry with me being gone for so long." He whispered to you, though you could not hear him, how deeply asleep you were!
He changed out of his armour and bandaged his leg, wrapping the broken thing in white cloth all the while hissing from the herbs that touched the slashes placed by iron swords. He had been apart from you for 5 whole years. 5 whole years without seeing his darling husband. How he missed your touch, though your hands were cold, they were so gentle to him. So kind to him. He laid his tired head upon your chest, wishing to hear your heartbeat like many times before.
There was none. There was no heartbeat. There was no life in you.
Lilia screamed once the realization that you truly are gone forever had settled in. Screamed and cried for days until he finally buried you in the little garden behind the cottage. And centuries later, he came back for you. He sat down in front of your grave and placed your favourite flowers in a vase. They sat there happily moving from the breeze, an incoming storm. Perhaps the same one that took your soul away from Briar Valley.
Your art is so cute! I rarely see people do x reader art requests haha don't mind if I do.
Now Rook is a very poetically flirty guy, but I hc he actually blue screens and blushes like hell when someone flirts back. I would love it if u draw that!!
Thanks and have a good rest of ur day ❤
cute! (˶ˆᗜˆ˵)
also thanks so much! anyway; I really like this hc it's adorable will keep this in mind 🥹
this was really fun to draw too, also fun fact I struggle drawing hats? but its all good it just takes me a while for som reason ◝(ᵔᗜᵔ)◜
content: fluff, poly relationship, follows the story of twow (somewhat), arguing, daddywari glazing toruk makto, light injury (nothing serious), not proofread, contains na‘vi words
summary: you disagree on tonowari‘s decisions to let jake sully and his family stay.
dictionary:
- "'ak!" -> ow!
- "kehe!" -> no!
- "yawntu" -> love (term of endearment)
- "sevin" -> pretty (term of endearment)
"our son ao‘nung and our daughter tsireya will show your children what to do."
not only ao‘nung‘s head turned to tonowari, but yours too. you gave him a disapproving look, but ao‘nung took it further, wanting to protest, but his father shut him down immediately, **"it is decided."**
later that day, in your, tonowari‘s and ronal‘s shared marui, as you were cooking food, waiting for ronal to return from tsahìk duties, you argued with tonowari about it.
"other children from the clan could‘ve taught them as well. if not even better."
"you‘re saying our kids are bad teachers?" tonowari replied to you, his eyes looking up from where he was sharpening his spear,
"they have a lot to learn."
"and how will they do that if they‘re not supposed to teach?"
you sighed in annoyance, already on edge since the unexpected arrival of jake sully on your shores earlier that day, which wasn‘t really to your liking. but as tonowari and ronal agreed, it was 2 to 1, and that meant you were overruled.
"you know what i mean. rotxo can teach. he‘s teached the smallest of children and the eldest of the elderly. or koro. or-"
"rotxo can teach them fishing later. and koro… he will only teach these forest kids mischief. if i may say so."
"just because he‘s from a family full of fishers doesn‘t mean he can only fish. i see him as quite the promising hunter."
the intensity with which you were cutting the vegetables for tonight‘s dinner increased, as did your agitation with your husband‘s continued arguing.
"that was not-… look, our kids learnt from the best-"
"praising yourself. wow," you interjected.
"-and they will manage these kids. trust me."
"we don‘t know what associating with jakesully will bring to our clan… death, if we‘re lucky."
"toruk makto will protect us if we stand by his side. not if we stand against him. then we will be doomed for certain. unless eywa provides a miracle to our people." tonowari had now set his spear aside and walked behind you while you were still cutting vegetables.
him breathing into the crook of your neck, a love-hate-relationship it was. right now, it was pure hatred. you couldn‘t concentrate.
"i still do not like this. what if their son - the reckless one - was to get them into a fight with an akula, what then?"
"didn‘t know toruk makto had a reckless son."
"i noticed before he even set foot here he would be trouble, tonowari. the one who ogled tsireya? with his hair gone on one si- 'AK!"
he and his damn breathing into your neck made you lose focus, and then, your finger was bleeding from a cut. not deep, but nothing to just shrug off either.
"let me-"
"kehe!"
"…"
you grabbed a cloth and wrapped it around the cut. you‘d wash it off later. you made a mental note to it.
"you surely need no-"
"i said i don‘t." you grumbled under your breath. now you were pissed, partially at him, partially at you for losing focus, and partially at ronal for leaving you alone with him (although she couldn‘t do anything about it).
"let me finish those." he didn‘t wait for a response, just gently maneuvered you out of the cooking area by your hips and took over cutting the rest of the vegetables. and all that to no protest.
as the night progressed, you found yourself having to accept that no amount of grumpiness towards tonowari will make him change his mind. at a certain point, it was just an act to seem like you wouldn’t fold if he put on that one face (the one where he‘s convincing ronal to let the sullies stay non-verbally) he knew made you (and ronal) fold instantly.
"maybe it is not too bad our kids gather experience in teaching others," you finally agreed, which made a little smirk appear on tonowari‘s face.
"you thought it was?" ronal asked. obviously, she wasn‘t there to witness the argument, and apparently, neither you nor tonowari had felt the need to revisit it.
"foolishly, i did."
"didn‘t know you could bite back like a thanator, yawntu," tonowari comments.
"surely more like a thanator cub," ronal corrected, earning a subtle nod from you and an expression that said 'this woman reads me like a damn book'.
"and what are you, sevin?“ tonowari asked ronal, he already started to get fussy (like a baby), since he was the only one already ready for bed.
"going to bed, tonowari. we‘re all going to bed. it has been a long and exhausting day," she replied.
"one thanator cub, coming right up to bed," you said as you dropped down beside tonowari, ronal following shortly after.
Description: When your arranged marriage to the Olo'eyktan of the Metkayina is worse than all of your expectations, you eventually have to speak your mind.
Content Warnings: Slightly ooc!Tonowari, head injury, arguing, angsty, happy ending, reader from another clan, Tonowari in his 20's.
Author's note: First fic of the challenge which I combined with this request! Thank you to @lejardinfleur for proof reading this a million times when my brain was lagging!
Challenge: Pandora in Bloom
Prompt 19. getting stranded on an island
Your husband was a responsible man. He did what was asked of him, he rose to every occasion.
When the people needed food, he hunted. When they needed protection, he reinforced the perimeter. When they had needed a leader, he stepped into the role with dignity.
And when they needed a Tsahìk to lead alongside him, he agreed to make a deal.
A bargain was struck by the Metkayina council of Elders with another Reef Clan. With the RDA’s presence radiating across their lands and their growing aggression with their kin in the forest, unbreakable bonds needed to be formed. Many arrows together will not break. Their unity would be their strength. What better way to forge an alliance than by marriage and blood?
They needed a dutiful woman with a connection to Eywa and it was only by her grace that you were chosen.
You, who were the daughter of a weaver and a diver, and of no special birth. Your clan’s Tsahìk had chosen you when you were only a girl, knowing the Great Mother’s plan for you was greater. She trained you as a Tsakarem alongside the other girls and when the time came for a deal to be made, you were a part of the bargain.
Of course, you had consented to the arrangement. If the Tsahìk made a decision, you knew it was sound. You would follow the path laid yawning and treacherous before you.
You had ridden the long journey to Awa'atlu with a group of warriors and leaders. The party traveled over the water all day before landing on the sandy shores just as the sun was starting to dip. You dismounted from your Tsurak and slid into the water, following your people as they wadded the short distance to shore.
Then, you saw him for the first time. He was broad-shouldered and long-haired, a beautiful man who walked with sure steps.
He and the crowd behind him drew closer as you approached the village.
“Tonowari te Tsika'u Arvak'itan, I see you,” you greeted as you had been taught to do, lifting your hand to your forehead to make the traditional gesture.
He nodded, bowing his head as he returned it. “Y/N, I see you,” he repeated.
-
From then on, he had been only polite and tolerant to you, no more. There was no affection, no more time spent with you than necessary. You shared a marui, but had separate hammocks. You sat beside each other at meals but did not speak.
He made no attempt to get to know you, even when you smiled kindly and asked him about his day each evening. He never said more than a stiff, “fine,” You had eventually stopped asking.
In the very beginning of the first weeks of your marriage, the Tlalim clan came through Awa'atlu, bringing with them goods from every corner of Pandora.
You had woken up early that morning after hearing Tonowari shuffle through the marui preparing for the day. It was endearing to discover that he was not a morning person, he seemed to be merely sleepwalking with purpose until he had his first meal.
He was rubbing at his eyes as he adjusted his mantle into the center of his chest. He then moved on to wrangling his hair into a knot on top of his head.
“Need help?” you asked blearily, blinking the sleep from your eyes after sitting up.
Tonowari did not jump or flinch from your voice as if he knew you had been awake the entire time. He glanced to the side at you before drawing his eyes back to the floor.
“No thank you,” he replied shortly.
You nodded, not expecting him to accept, but still feeling somehow disappointed that he had denied your help. You moved on with your routine and started by corralling your own hair into place. You still watched him from the corner of your eye as he moved with proficient grace for a man so large.
He finally tamed his curls into a tidy bun and tied it off with a strip of leather. All except his kuru was swept up and away from his face, a look you could not help but admire on him.
“Are you coming to the market today?” he asked and you fully looked up at him as you attached your arm band around your bicep. You felt a flutter of joy in your chest that he had finally been the one to initiate a conversation instead of you for once.
“Yes, I was planning on it. Are you?” you asked, hoping he was.
“I am expected to go as Olo’eyktan, to oversee that trade deals are being fulfilled fairly,” he explained and you nodded along with his words.
“Perhaps we could walk there together. I do not know where it is held,” you suggested.
He opened his mouth before it closed again, as if he was searching for words to excuse himself. Finally, he sighed, “Very well, but I am leaving soon. I will not wait on you,” he warned.
“I will hurry then,” you agreed, turning away to find the rest of your jewelry and to slip a woven top over your head and tie the straps behind your ribs.
“I am leaving,” he grumbled from behind you a few minutes later as you donned your Tsahìk headpiece that had been one of the gifts you had been given when you arrived on the island.
“Oh! Um, okay,” you said, walking over to your knife and sheathing it at your side before you joined him where he was waiting outside.
He did not say a word the entire way to the market and you did not attempt to start a conversation, realizing the man was probably going to stay grumpy, at least until he had eaten. He was even less tolerant of you when he was in one of his moods.
When you arrived into the fray, Tlalim traders had their goods on display, everything from cooking ware to jewelry to foods to weapons. You marveled at the beautiful items as you and Tonowari passed by them.
It was not until he spotted some of the elders that your husband turned to you, reaching for a bag you just noticed was attached to his waist and handing it over. “Salt from the reef, it can be traded if you see anything you like,” he informed you.
You took the salt in your palm, yet still felt deflated at his words. They meant he was leaving you to peruse alone.
Before you could even respond, he nodded slightly as if the conversation was over and walked towards the group he was heading for before. He had not wanted you at his side.
That day you bought nothing, half because you no longer saw anything that caught your eye, but the other half because you did not want to waste his resource on something frivolous, something he might grow to resent you more for.
That evening at dinner, you had handed back the salt without more than a quiet “thank you”. He did not question why you had not spent it, just reattached it to his waist and kept eating. He was too distracted by a lilting laugh from across the room.
Since coming here, you had quickly realized that instead of looking at you, his eye seemed to be set on the owner of that laugh, Ronal.
The women among the weaving circles whispered that had the sky people not started hunting in the Eastern Sea, she would have been his wife. She was confident, beautiful, and her connection to Eywa was strong. She never missed a prayer or a ceremony.
He never did more than gaze at her and speak kindly when they crossed paths. He was never too friendly, never toed the line. He would not disrespect you by entertaining the idea of a relationship with another partner, this you knew in your heart. He was a good man, maybe distant, even cold occasionally, but he was not cruel.
But still, a wife knows when her husband does not love her.
He surprised you one evening by finding you after a prayer ceremony you had led. He joined your steps as you walked back home, hardly having anyone stop to talk to you.
“The elders have requested your presence on the next hunt,” he informed you.
You nodded, excitement growing in your gut at the chance to prove yourself to the clan. This was a gesture of trust, you knew it.
“Yes, of course. I am honored,” you replied truthfully, fighting back the girlish smile your lips were forming.
He nodded, grunting slightly, before turning back to his own path and veering away from yours, hardly sparing you another glance. You did not let his detached demeanor worry you tonight, you were too pleased with the minor baby step you had taken in the eyes of the people.
-
A few days later, you left with those setting out beyond the reef, despite the storm brewing in the sky.
“It will blow over,” Tonowari assured the gathered party, yet you were not so sure. You had been born by the water, knowing its tells and patterns like the back of your hand. You could feel the world holding its breath as if preparing for a blow. The creatures on land and in the waters were quiet, safely hidden from the elements already. The wind had stalled through the night and was suddenly picking up now that you were at sea.
Despite your hesitation, you would trust his word since he knew these waters better than you. The sea was choppy as you rode by the Olo’eyktan’s side, making your Tsurak nervous though the bond and you nervous by extension.
“Are you sure we should set out today?” you asked quietly, purposefully not drawing the attention of the others.
His eyes cut to you and you flinched in immediate regret. “I know what I am doing, Tsahìk,” he snapped and you recoiled immediately, not wanting to disrespect him.
“Of course. My apologies,” you relented, staying quiet as the others discussed which direction to start in. Eventually, you all were diving down below, heading North towards Nalutsa hunting waters. The surface was being pummeled so thoroughly by the storm, that you had clearer visibility before the water than above today.
When one was finally spotted, the group moved into position, you at the flank as the others corralled it to take aim. In a sudden burst, the spooked animal set off for the surface, spears hit its armor, but made no dent. The beast was out of position, the head was where a kill could be made, yet only its hardened back was to you now.
You urged your tsurak up to follow the Nalutsa as it breached the water. The hunters rose with it, hoping to take aim as it came back down, but its body made a jerky movement, pivoting to the left and diving back down below. Your eyes widened, but it was too late to move as its tail snapped towards you, hitting your tsurak and sending your head slamming into its back.
Your skull made a sharp thud in your ears that seemed to echo as your vision blurred and you went under into the water. You felt blinding pain from the impact as the world faded around you into nothing.
-
“Tsahìk!” a gravely voice called, “Tsahìk! Y/n!”
At the mention of your given name you blinked awake, the sound unique enough to pull you out of whatever darkness you had been suffocated by. In your addled state of mind, you realized this was the first time Tonowari had used your name since that first day when he had greeted you on the beach.
You groaned when the world came into clearer focus. Your head pounded and your vision blurred, but you managed to sit up with the help of your husband.
“Tonowari?” you asked, confused at what was happening. You glanced around, but could only make out ferns and dune grass surrounding you. Taller trees and palms somewhat covered your body from the deluge that was still unleashing upon the water.
“You took a mighty blow to the head. How are you feeling?” he pointed out. He took your chin in his hand, turning your head at an angle to better see your forehead. You reached up to feel along the skin and felt a prominent lump.
“I am fine I think, just a headache. What happened?” you asked.
“After you fell from your mount, you were taken by a current. By the time I found you, we were separated from the group and I had to bring you to shore. We are too far away from home to make the journey in this weather, so here we are until it blows over.”
“I told you,” you grumbled under your breath. You went to stand up, but he quickly took your shoulders and pulled you back down to a seated position.
His eyes narrowed, “I do not think that is wise,” he warned and you rolled your eyes.
“Do not act as if you know what is best after your blunder today,” you gritted out. Your tolerance of his almighty attitude and seemingly looking down on you was low after your injury. If the weather had not been so bad, maybe you would not have gotten hurt or swept away.
“My “blunder”?” he scoffed. “I made no mistakes,” he insisted.
It was your turn to scoff, “We should not have been hunting in the weather. You said so yourself, we cannot even currently get home,” you argued.
“I have been hunting in many rainfalls, I could not have expected it to grow so turbulent so quickly!” He replied, growing more impatient with you.
“If you had only listened to me, I told you that it was too dangerous,” you corrected him.
His eyes blazed with fury, “Yes, maybe so, but you questioned me, in front of everyone!”
“I questioned you because a blind man could see this storm building! My mount was nervous as if it was prey. I did not mean to disrespect my husband-”
“Do not call me that!” he exclaimed and the outburst seemed to take you both by surprise.
Rain made curls stick to his face and neck as it made small rivers down his skin. Consistent tapping sounds surrounded you as water hit the ferns and palms at your knees.
“Like it or not, you are my husband, even if you do not act as if you were. I am your wife, Tonowari, yet I have found the shells on your beaches more friendly. What am I to do? How am I to act to gain your approval?”
“Nothing! I did not realize you hated it here so much, that we had been so inhospitable to you,” Tonowari all but grumbled.
“They have not been, but you… you treat me as if you could not get farther from me. Am I so ugly or horrible or annoying? There must be something!” you exclaimed and his mouth opened, but no words came out.
“I do not know you,” he weakly and your eyes widened.
“And I do not know you, but I do not treat you as if you are no better than ilu fodder,” you exclaimed.
“I do not treat you so poorly. You make it sound as if I have been cruel,” he bit out and you laughed sardonically.
“No, but you have not been kind. I left my home, my family, everything I have ever known, just so I could come here to marry you. Yet despite everything I have given, you act as if you must punish me for this, as if it is I who has done wrong to you. We were both pushed to agree to this, this is not unequal,” you explained and he pursed his lips.
“You act like a child throwing a tantrum, Tonowari. That mantle around your neck is not decoration, you are supposed to be the best of the Metkayina, a leader who will traverse through the toughest waters, yet you cower. How are we expected to raise a family or lead these people if we cannot so much as have a civil conversation with one another?”
Tonowari blinked at you, brows twisting in conflict, “I am not one to quickly make friends or to grow used to new things.”
“Even so, think of me! I have no one! You are the closest person to family I have here,” you pointed out and he seemed to recoil at the words.
Tonowari sat back on his heels, looking at you with a torn expression. “I have not behaved as a husband, or as Olo’eyktan. I have not treated you with the decency that you deserve. I see that now,” he said finally.
“Have I not been a good wife? Have I done something wrong?” You pleaded and his eyes softened.
“No, that is not it. You have been a devoted partner. The blame lies with me. Forgive me… please,” he asked earnestly and your shoulders slumped at hearing the words you never imagined hearing.
“I- I forgive you, but things have to change. I cannot continue living like this,” you requested and he nodded solemnly.
“Tell me what I can do, I will try,” he promised.
“We should be able to have conversations, you do not need to divulge every secret to me, but we should be able to talk about our days. And I want to be included in council and service around the village, I am Tsahìk now. I have been trained for this, I can be useful,” you explained, looking up to gauge his reaction.
He nodded, deep in thought, “Okay, what else?” he asked and your brow lifted.
“I do not need romance or even love from you, I know that we have entered into this agreement out of obligation to our people, not out of the longing for a soul bond. I am not naive, but I would not mind if we could manage to be friends,” you answered, a small smile given as if it was a peace offering.
“We can be friends, I will be better. I see now that I have behaved abominably, I offer apologies again,” he said and you nodded.
“Let us put it behind us. There is only one thing that I want to know,” you said hesitantly. He nodded for you to continue.
“Do you love her?” you asked quietly and his brow lowered. “Do you love Ronal?” you clarified.
His jaw clenched and his gaze lowered. “I did… many rotations ago. Eywa, I was a fool for her,” he scoffed, “But she never returned my affections and I moved forward, I have matured since that time. I understand my responsibilities to you now and I would not disgrace you, if that is your concern,” he assured you, and it gave you some understanding, even if you found that the words stung a little. You were truthful that you did not need him to love you, but you had always hoped that you would love your mate when you got married.
“Thank you for telling me, I will admit, I noticed the way you looked at her, but… I am putting my trust in you, Tonowari,” you said.
“I will not let you down. I will be better,” he promised and you hoped it was not foolish of you to believe him.
-
Once you had made it back home and checked over by the healers, the week had gone by a little easier. Tonowari had smiled at you exactly four times in passing, which you were counting as a win. Even more so, his eyes had stopped lingering on Ronal. His attention was not necessarily on you either, but baby steps.
He had even dared to start asking you how your day was, and you had restarted asking the same to him in return.
At dinner, he waved you to lean in as he told his friends old tales from when he was younger, and those very friends had started smiling and waving to you in passing, instead of shuffling by with a quick “Tsahìk,” in acknowledgement.
You knew he was really taking you seriously when your presence was required at every council meeting or clan event, big or small. You gleefully responded with your opinion each time it was asked, and proudly stood a little taller when the elders nodded in agreement and took your ideas into consideration.
One night a few weeks after your conversation on that island, you felt a change in Tonowari’s affections towards you. It was growing deeper into the night and you were both preparing for bed. Tonowari was getting his supplies ready for the next day, and you were taking off jewelry and splashing your face with clean water to cleanse the sweat that had accumulated this evening.
Tonowari walked past you with his spear in his hand, shoulders brushing as you went to unfold your hammock from where it hung and started preparing to lay down. Behind you, Tonowari stilled, but you hardly noticed as you reached up to unfurl the woven fiber material.
“What is that smell?” Tonowari asked over his shoulder, face devoid of any emotion or reaction besides a lowered brow. His hands were busy wiping off his weapons of any salt build up from the day.
“What smell?” you asked, confused, lowering your arms and turning to see what he meant.
“Something smells like Ta’ru,” he sniffed again. His hands left his weapons as he turned around to face you and stepped closer.
His eyes widened and his nostrils flared as he took one more step towards you, now only a few feet away. “You smell like Ta’ru,” he decided, eyes narrowing as he waited for an explanation.
You took a deep inhale, even lifting your arm to your face to see if you smelled him, but you caught only the smallest trace. “He was helping me tie nets today, I must have picked it up then,” you shrugged, not thinking too much about it. It had been entirely friendly, not that Tonowari was probably concerned if it was not.
“You should not have asked him,” he frowned deeper.
Your mouth pursed in confusion, “He offered, but even so, how am I supposed to learn anything if you forbid me from asking for help?”
“You ask me, I will teach you,” he insisted.
“You? You have too many responsibilities already,” you argued but he rolled his eyes and leveled you with a look that said to stop playing.
“I know we had a rough start, but I hope you can trust me now. I am your mate. If you need help with something, I will make time.”
“That is very thoughtful, I do need help with something,” you admitted and he nodded for you to continue, seemingly capturing all of his attention.
You bit your lip to keep from smiling, “Ta’ru was a very bad teacher, I am just as clueless now as before,” you explained and you could not help but join him as Tonowari barked out a laugh.
“I will help you, I know the Metkayina way is different,” he said, his smile blinding you and making a weird flutter in your chest.
“Very different. In the village of my birth, we used a completely different material, knot, even the size is different. I am lost,” you said.
“We will start tomorrow. A Tsahìk who cannot tie a net is shameful indeed,” he said in what was possibly the first joke he ever exchanged with you.
“Thank you,” you nodded, smiling before you turned back to your hammock and hooked it above you.
-
You had thought his words had the potential to be a gallant display of him trying to stick to his word, but sure enough, the next morning he was up and ready for lessons.
He had patiently waited for you to get ready this time before he had walked with you to breakfast, falling into a somewhat easy conversation about a story with a rogue Ilu from your youth.
After breakfast, you walked back together towards home, waving to the other couples and families that you passed along the way. “Come,” he waved you out to the front of your marui, picking up a large spool of seagrass fiber and bringing it to where your legs dangled off of the wooden dock.
“Show me how you would start a net in your birth clan,” he requested, and you showed him, the movements coming to you easily, your fingers deft and strong as they twisted fibers.
He nodded as he watched, “That is not so different than we do, here,” he took the knot from your hands and attempted to unravel it. He struggled, your knot was too sturdy to be so easily broken.
“It is said that my clan has many fine knots,” you pointed out teasingly and he looked away from the knot to you, brow lifting as he shrugged.
“I see that. Okay, we will keep your knot. It will work the same,” he had said, relenting and showing you how to make your next ties. He worked quickly, but would slow down to show you what he just did, being a far more patient teacher than you expected. He would have you practice on your own and would gently correct your mistakes.
“You are a fast learner,” he noticed and you glowed at the compliment.
“Thank you,” you smiled.
“I think you have it.”
“This makes much more sense than whatever Ta’ru taught me,” you nearly laughed again at the disaster of yesterday and Tonowari smiled.
“That is why you do not outsource asking for help. I am here for you, y/n,” he said and the use of your name felt warmer than the sun.
“You are a good husband, it took an effort for you to show it, but you are a decent man,” you said and his chest puffed up a little at the words.
“I cannot take a compliment which I know is untrue. I was not always so kind to you, I rest uneasy some nights now that you have shown me my looking glass. I can never remedy the debt I owe you,” he said and your heart shattered a little for him.
You put the net down and placed your hand on his shoulder. “It is forgotten, put it from your mind. We have made peace and are happier now because of it,”
“If I am a good husband, you are an even better wife. No one would carry such kindness and forgiveness in their hearts as you do,” he said, placing his hand over yours, a warm touch that brought you comfort.
“Eywa would not have placed me here with you if she did not have a plan. I believe that,” you explained and he nodded.
“The Great Mother is good to me for giving me such a mate as you,” he smiled and you smiled back.
When you finished practicing your nets, you and Tonowari had gone back inside to escape the sun and prepare for the midday prayer at eclipse. You donned ceremonial paint and noticed Tonowari pulling out his orange cape gifted to him by the people. You were washing off the colors on your hands when Tonowari called your name. You looked up expectantly and noticed an unruly curl falling over his eyes for not the first time today.
“I was wondering… well you offered before, and I was wondering if you could help me with my hair,” he asked and you froze.
This was not a step, but a giant leap. He was asking you for help on something so personal and unnecessary. It was obvious he could have done the style himself, but instead, he had asked you. He was following his promise to try, and it warmed your heart and healed it all in one.
“Of course,” you agreed, motioning for him to kneel on the floor. He crouched down and you moved behind him, your heartbeat quickening when he leaned his back on you by just a hair.
You gathered his mane of curls in your hands, careful to avoid his kuru, and twisted it gently into a bun at the top of his head just as he had done before. Your fingers ran through his scalp as you combed any remaining pieces up and into the knot before tying it off with a piece of leather he had ready in his hand.
“Thank you,” he said as you patted his shoulder and stepped back. He stood, kuru swinging slightly, as he ran a hand over his hair and evidently found it to his liking.
“You are welcome,” you smiled.
He reached out a hand between you, palm facing up and you stared at it for a second until he said, “Are you ready to go, wife?”
You looked back up to him, nodding and slapping your hand over his awaiting one. Your fingers immediately intertwined with him like it was second nature.
