1.) What's better, having high expectations or having low expectations?
Expect the best, prepare for the worst!
2.) Would you rather go without junk food for a year or go without TV for a year?
who watches tv nowadays
3.) Describe your perfect man/woman.
bannah barpenter
4.) Thoughts on school dress codes?
i mean okay i get it to a certain extent but ew!
5.) Any strange phobias?
yes, crickets. i hate those little jumping shits.
6.) At what job do you see Donald Trump best fit?
garbage man! it is important to strongly empathize with your work, i see it only fit he work with trash and the discarded.
7.) Â Who was your first crush?
siiigh basketball girl....
8.) Who was your first best friend?
her name was guadalupe and she did not come to my birthday party in the 4th grade, i still remember lupe, your time is coming slut. LMAOO YO IM JOKING IM JOKING
9.) What is one weird thing about you?
one super duper weird thing about me is how incredibly good looking i am. i strive to live a normal life but am held down by my irresistible charm. unfortunately, the girls just throw themselves upon me, using me for my strong muscles. when in reality I just want to be normal :(((((
10.) Top 5 TV shows you like to watch?
in no particular order
- glee (yes i do hate myself thank you)
- les strouds survivorman (fuck you bear grylls)
- the office (my gf and I remind me of phyllis and vance from vance refrigeration <3)
- 90 Day Fiance (my favorite shit show)
- the challenge (put me on TJ pls i beg)
11.) What are your favorite boy names?
Earl, Norman and Trevor.
(diego, alexander and anthony ....)
12.) What are your favorite girl names?
Gertrude
(Alanna is my one true favorite name)
13.) Do you have any tattoos? If so, what are they?
I have a tattoo of the US constitution on my back. Pretty liberating piece if I do say so myself. It is important to always remember your roots.
14.) Do you plan on getting (more) tattoos? If so, what do you want to get?
oh lord, i want so many.
15.) Do you have any piercings? Do you plan on getting more?
No and No!
16.) Do you like hugs?
i love them. pls hug me. everyone and anyone.
17.) Think of ANY person on earth right now. Who did you think of?
my wife!
18.) Do you have an iPhone?
yes but i wish i did not
19.) What is the worst thing that could happen in your life right now?
anything happening to my family.
20.) Do you watch anime?
no luv, yall be safe though
21.) What brings true happiness?
PURPOSE (tell me to explain and I will)
22.) What is the most expensive thing youâve ever paid for?
all of the failed trips to the true north. covid you can suck my entire cock.
23.) If you could have any job in the world and get paid millions of dollars a year for it, what would you be and why?
JOURNALIST. ID BE A JOURNALIST. literally journalism was my first love. pay is shit though. or a firefighter, pls i wanna be one so bad but i fear im far too short lmaoo.
24.) Do you want children? If so, how many?
yes. like 12.
25.) Name and describe someone who you feel most comfortable around.
han, i have looked and smelled my worst around her and she still loves me all the same. thank you.
26.) If you could invent a holiday, what would it be?
iâd replace 4th of July with National think about our wrongdoings as a country day.
27.) Would you rather have summer weather or winter weather all year round?
oh my. i fell in love with summer this year. truly did. solar power was on repeat so this is hard. iâd say summer but not a california summer. Iâd take a colorado summer.
28.) If you could create an alien race, describe what they would look like.
I would bring all of the races from Skyrim: The Elder Scrolls to life and live out my ultimate fantasy.
29.) What was the first thing you learned to cook?
huevos.
30.) Describe your sense of humor.
i love me some dry humor. Iâm talking DRY. saying funny things with a straight face is unbeatable.
31.) What is the key to happiness?
didnt i already answer this?
32.) How many phone numbers do you have committed to memory? Whose numbers are they?
just my mamas, the only number i ever need to memorize. and 911. took me a while to get that one down, glad i did though.
33.) Name three songs that make you want to dance.
- stayin alive by the bee gees
- tu sonrisa - elvis crespo (the latino national anthem)
- songbird by oasis
34.) What job did you want to have as a child?
i wanted to be a zoologist but had no idea what that meant.
35.) Do you have any talents or skills?
i am a panty dropper.
36.) What was the worst punishment youâve ever had?
a punch to the face!
37.) Did you ever do anything weird as a child?
oh god yeah. i caught bugs all the time. had a collection of rocks. loved carrying a backpack around with pb and J sandwiches and pretend like i was surviving in the wilderness. i was being haunted by a strange man with a tophat, he would look into my room all the time.
38.) What is your dream car?
something i could go camping in!
39.) Â Describe something that made you laugh this week.
myself.
40.) What genre do most of your dreams fit into?
NIGHTMARES. or fever dreams and nothing in between.
41.) Â Do you ever have repetitive dreams? Describe it/them.
yes. no.
42.) Describe the most recent dream youâve had.
i genuinely do not remember
43.) Describe the best dream youâve ever had.
any dream that she is in is a blessing!
44.) If God himself gave you a choice of either having unlimited money for the rest of your life or finding your one true love starting tomorrow, which one would you choose (keep in mind, you are still able to make a ton of money if you choose love, and you are still able to meet your soul mate if you choose money)?
give me the money Yahweh, i already met my soulmate. we will take the money and run thank you.
45.) If you could do anything (and I mean ANYTHING) right now without consequences, what would you?
rob a bank. full stop. let me get my black airforces real quick.
46.) Do you have any recipes that you know off the top of your head? What is it/ what are they?
yes. i make a gourmet breakfast scramble. i canât even begin to explain the ingredients, the average mind would not be able to comprehend the years of culinary wisdom. (eggs, potatos, anything else in the fridge :) )
47.) Do you have your license? If so, do you have a car?
yes, no I drive a clown car. i borrow it from the person reading this HA BOZO GOT YOU
(she does not have a car)
48.) Have you ever had a near death experience?
thankfully no.
49.) Do you personally know anyone that has been to prison?
yes
50.) Have you ever been in a physical fight?
i once punched a kid in the face when I was 6 for saying he liked me. he was older and i thought it was creepy. felt terrible after. anyways, thatâs how i found out i was gay.
51.) When you get out of the shower, do you towel dry, blow dry, or air dry your hair?
towel and air dry for me
52.) When you go to the movies, do you take snacks and drinks with you or do you buy them?
i usually buy.
53.) Do you like going to the beach? If so, do you like to stay dry or go in the water? If not, why?
BODY SURFING IS MY BREAD AND BUTTER. literally my favorite thing to do at the beach. getting yelled at by the lifeguards is a close second.
54.) Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?Â
nah baby these reeboks are molded to my feet
55.) If you could have a superpower ASIDE from being invisible or being able to fly, what would you choose?
teleportation, im coming home babe!
56.) If you were able to live for however long you wanted to (I'm talking thousands of years without aging), when would you choose to die?
if i make it to 100 i would consider myself more than blessed.
57.) Â What do you think happens after we die?
we go home :)
58.) Do you believe in aliens?
absolutely.
59.) Do you believe in ghosts?
Yes.
60.) Do you believe in spiritual things like ouija boards, tarot cards, and crystals? Do you believe they are portals for evil entities to enter the mortal world?
i donât necessarily believe in them BUT i do believe in the law of attraction and arenât crystals pretty much the same thing? idk let me call up my crystals expert.
Also no, evil entities will forever be intertwined with humanity. real evil is man.
61.) If you could make one mythical being real, who/what would you choose?Â
MR TUMNUS
62.) Do you tan, or do you burn?
im tan year round babyyyy, come get you some. out here looking like taylor lautners sister.
63.) Describe your shower routine.
get in and shower :) sometimes i forget to take off my clothes though.
64.) Do you enjoy school? Why or why not?
um. i thoroughly and wholeheartedly enjoy learning. especially in this information age. Learning materials are so easily accessible itâs nuts. I like to learn on my own terms better than at an establishes learning institution.
65.) In your opinion, what is the worst way to die?
torture.
66.) Do you get travel sick?
sigh i do.
67.) Whatâs one memory that you wish you could go back to?
it is summer of â08, blues clues is on, i smell my moms cooking in the kitchen. she lets me and my brother play in the mud while she waters the lawn. i hear and smell the huge ass AC unit connected to the wall. life is well.
68.) What were some of your stuffed animalâs names from when you were a kid?
ive only ever had one stuffed animal. his name was fluffy.
69.) Do you have any pets?
i have one pup. he is my best friend.
70.) Describe your daily wardrobe.
 whatever is comfy.
71.) Describe what your daily wardrobe would be if you were rich.
whatever is comfy.
72.) Create a character right now. Give them a name, age, height, hair colour, eye colour, pronouns, birthday, and accent.
rafael
67
6â˛9
bright blue
poop brown
xe/xhem
scottish
73.) What was the last thing you bought?
aluminum foil
74.) Have you ever bought a CD? What was it?
of course. i have bought lots over the years.
75.) Describe your perfect ice cream sundae.
literally anything THIS IS SO LONG
76.) If you could make ANYTHING happen right now with no cost, trouble, or obstacles, what would you do?
travel to my wife
77.) What are some of your favorite physical activities to do?
sex.
78.) What were some of your favorite shows as a child?
the fresh beat band. billy the exterminator and george lopez. quite a range there.
79.) Describe how you would survive the zombie apocalypse.
by doing the complete opposite of everyone in any zombie movie. them bitches be dying over the dumbest shit.
80.)What are some things you shouldn't say at work?
yes, i will come in on my day off.
81.) If you were told that if you killed someone, you would save 100 people, would you do it?
yep.
82.) Howâs the weather right now?
cold.
83.) What is the background on your cell phone right now?
a cool table
84.)Is it better to work at a job that you love or a job that pays well?
why not both?
85.) What do you have within arms reach of your bed?
a hideous christmas tree.
86.) Have you ever been fired from a job? If so, why?
no
87.) Have you ever won a trophy, prize, or medal? If so, for what?
i won a prize for having the biggest penis in the state of california.
88.) Do you have any posters, pictures, or art hanging on your walls in your room? If so, what are they?
i have a couple of iconic basketball pictures.
89.) Are you afraid of the dark?
no. the dark is afraid of me.
90.)What is something that you've never done but would like to try?
im jumping off a plane. or building a tiny home. or climbing half dome in yosemite.
91.) If you could choose three famous people or characters to be friends with, who would you choose and why?
snoop dog and martha stewart. also seth rogan.
92.) Do you smile at strangers when you pass by them on the street?
most of the time yeah.
93.) Do you have a favorite TV commercial? If so, what is it?
jake from state farm is a classic
94.) Do you like your handwriting?
yes
95.) Cable TV or Netflix?
the flix
96.) What are your favorite smells?
good pussy and puppy breath
97.) Do you consider yourself physically strong?
yes but i could always be stronger
98.) Describe a time where you said something really rude or mean, whether intentional or not.
literally every time i open my mouth
99.) Do you ask strangers if you can pet their dogs?
sometimes
100.) What do you want done with your body after you die?
burn me and spread my ashes somewhere pretty.
101.) Has anyone really close to you ever died? If so, who was it and how did you handle it?
i still dont understand death
102.) Â Describe your plan of action if you were home alone and you heard someone break into your house.
call 911. grab my pocket knife, my dog and my hiking stick. may the best man win. either that or id try to seduce them. canât rob my house if your distracted by your horniness.
103.) If you were to be born again, would you want to be born male or female?
male would be easier, but how i love being a woman
104.) Â What shampoo do you use?
oh god who knows
105.) Guess the meaning of this word: ulotrichous.
clitoris
106.) Do you let messages (phone, email, text, social media, etc...) build up, or do you have to look at them right away?
i do not get notifications on my phone lmaoooooooooooooooooooo
107.) Â How close is the nearest McDonalds to your house?
literally down the street
108.) Â If you had $1 billion and you had to spend it in exactly one week, what would you spend it on?
a trustworthy financial advisor and a shit ton of real estate
109.) What is the best thing youâve ever eaten?
my gf
110.) If you could go on a trip around the world with up to three people, who would you bring? (they can be people you know personally or famous people)
my gf, her grandma and my grandma
111.) What swear word do you use the most often?
SUCK MY DICK BITCH
112.) What is your personal definition of success?
peace of mind, body and environment. financial stability and a loving family aw.
113.) How was your day today?
lazy sunday
114.) What is the closest big city to you?
hmm i have no idea...
115.) Do you like children? Why or why not?
yes, theyâre just like me.
116.) Do you hide anything from your parents?
yup!
117.) If you could possess one talent, what would you be able to do?
i want megan knees
118.) If you could speak three additional languages, what would they be?
mandarin, french and italian
119.) What is the worst thing youâve ever seen in real life?
a penis
120.) Use only 3 words to describe how you want your future to go.
a bay window
a couple chickens
and my lovely lady
121.) If you could have your own business, what would you do?
something passive
122.) If you could make a dream society, describe it in great detail where it would be, who would be in it, and what rules there would be?
no
123.) If you could make any animal miniature, what would you make and why?
omg a tiny little shark that i would carry in a fish bowl everywhere i go.
124.) What are your favorite candle scents?
nothing sweet.