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The Third Step to Self Mastery – The Third in a Four Part Series

So you’ve recognized you have a steady stream of self talk and how it can effect your daily emotional state. Then you exercised discipline to give your self as much support as possible while learning to master your self talk. What comes next? I found my self much more aware of my self talk but lacking in passion. The key was I realized I was starting to go a little numb. I felt flat, as if I…

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The Second Step to Self Mastery – The Second in a Four Part Series

OK, so you’ve learned to look at your self talk and realize it determines the quality of your life. The negative feelings you experience regrinding self and others is self generated and you can choose to create hurtful thoughts or joyous thoughts. One of the ways to move in this direction is to begin to control consciously the things around you. It may seem antithetical to the ultimate…

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The First Step to Self Mastery – The First of a Four Part Series

The first stage to self mastery is coming to the awareness that you have streams of negative or unproductive self talk. This can be difficult to actually recognize. Sometimes my self talk looks like the process of understanding others behavior but what it actually is, is analysis and judgment designed to make me feel better about my self or give me a feeling of power, not productive spiritually.…

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Yellow Light

At dawn the drowsy sun filters through the lingering clouds of Isis as Dun chickadees and flitting sparrows chirp, tap in the earth’s swells and hallows While new radiance brushes rain greened hillsides along their mounded curves in Yellow Light At mid morning, when the sun pushes along the lowest declamation, speckles through the Lingering gold Walnut and ocher Oak leaves, the wind grumbles…

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Living in the Past

Running from things, pain and perceived pain, Illusions of reality, bumping against infinity Against vast skies of time, future blurring with what has been. Stars twinkle at midnight through the icy barrier. The flat fog of forgotten floats in, Wrapping its self around the moment Warmth, breathing as one, lost to the envelopment. Crashed by roiling anger, faces of offenders, so long ago. So…

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Fall Solitude

Up the road, the damp dirt banks and drops, a velvet ribbon, Following the curves and rises of the newly green hillside. The oaks and walnuts hunch over, hang dog in the fall light, Broken yellow leaves flutter, a fall of twisting gold. Flickering in the light. The moss tangs with the crushed conifer, A gentle roll of cedar wraps its self around moist bark blending with the Tang of pine and…

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Go Grey

OK I’ve tried before to let my hair go natural. Underneath I was about ¾ grey now and I just figured it was time to stop coloring it. The chemicals. The work. It had to be dyed every four weeks and I had major roots after two. I decided the move back to Califorina was a great time to commit and I planned it all out. Stopped coloring it about two months before moving into the cabin, but kept it…

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The Epiphany of Self Care

I had a startling epiphany this week and it was sitting there right in front of me for a really long time. I’d participated in over 30 years of self awareness training and self improvement workshops but it took a very rowdy dog to make me see it. For a while I’ve been working on accepting things as they ae in the moment and this dog, “Thor” was totally unruly. She’s really smart, able to figure…

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The Question of Goals

All of my life I’ve been very goal oriented. I would map out what I wanted to do and go about it step by step. This is a natural ability I have and I use it to get out of depression and periods of indecision or to create things I want. Walking up the dirt road yesterday I realized I had only mushy goals, no due dates, no step by step structures, no support check ins! My planning mind says that’s…

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Start of Day

October 6, 2016 Last night was cold. The wind shifted to a Northerly, Carrying an edge of sleety shadows and icy peaks. The clothes on the line waved chilled As if just taken from a blue ice cave. But the sun comes Brushing the hill tops bright and true yellow Softening to a morning glow, Leaving the loom of Winter behind. I sit and sip tea Soft brew from the garden, Chamomile and Lavender,…

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Where I live

October 4, 2016 It’s easy to be Zen in a warm urban home where systems are in place, keeping up the physical responsibilities of survival. I’ve done that for a long time. And I’ve grown tremendously. My understanding and hard work have taken me to new levels of understanding. But I wanted more. Challenges and discipline have been the hallmarks of growth for me. So, in an attempt to propel my…

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Up a Dirt Road

October 1, 2016 I am looking at big drops fall on glass. It’s light rain, fall rain in California, Not the storms of grey Portland, But the light portent of shifting time. I am sitting on top of a small mountain 3,000 feet above sea level, lofty, wild. Mt. Copernicus near Mt Hamilton The vestiges of Astronomy and worlds beyond. There’s a winding road to here, Curving and steep. There’s…

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New Home

I moved to Mt Hamilton in August and threw my self into finishing my cabin so it would be comfortable.Kitchen cabinets, solving the hot water issue, arranging the sleeping loft in closing several walls, building out a desk area and it’s still a work in progress. I committed to start writing by October first, however there’s going to be some delay because there is no internet on the mountain and I…

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Walking to Hawthorn

Trees line the streets in shady canopy Happy lines of pansies skip along the sidewalk Purples and yellows proclaim the day. A grey dog sniffs through a crack Shifts his many mirrored head The mid day sun dries his nose. Blue green fanciful Victorians stand Against post modern block apartments A mix mash of identity, of meanings. The beginnings and endings Swirl across the day Losing their…

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I Run

A soft breeze against skin Sun rays in eyes through lofty green leaves Rain washed earth lifts loamy scents. I run alone. Emails cram into boxes Phone messages pile up with urgency Forms needed, deadlines loom. I run alone. Preparations underway Batches to mix stand ready Jars and bottles line up to receive. I run alone. Each exists in and not yet of Reality’s constructs shift…

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Harvesting the Winter Wheat

I planted the seeds deep in the fall, the cold , now, The stalks dry slowly, the heads grow heavy And arch over with the weight of the new berries Rounded and full, the seeds hide encased in chaff. Long stems wave in the morning breeze Still damp from night dew and touched with green I pluck one the dawns light just reaching the tips of wheat The stem is hallow and tough, spikes burry and…

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Plan the Perfect Family Reunion

Recently we had a big Family reunion. Attending was the full spectrum from my 84 year old mom to my two years old granddaughter. It was a shaky beginning with people considering not attending because of family issues but it all came together and starting Thursday night 20 people shared a large house in Tahoe and cooked, ate and spent all their time together. Perhaps you’ve wondered if you can…

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