Anne

22 | queer | she/they

[her-favourite]

so I'm guessing i should write an introduction? i think?

hi all! you can call me Anne, i'm 23. i am a literature student at uni and I'll probably try to get into a phd programme.

"the main characters" of my life:

Then in 2022, I met N, one of my university professors who I really liked. She’s in her early 40s. She’s kind of a mentor figure for me. We talk every once in a while.

Because of N, I met another professor; L. They are close friends and their friendship is to die for. He is the same age as N, teaches in the same field. I’m 90% sure he is gay and the biggest gentleman ever.

In 2018, we went on a class trip to London where I met T. He was our guide (he is an English teacher too, but not where I went to). We kept in touch (from afar), started talking again when I was 19-20 and now he is my friend. He is in his late 40s, married unhappily. My attraction and feelings are reciprocated.

Disclaimer:

!!! i do not condone relationships between minors and adults. my dynamics with N and L are completely platonic, and they will stay this way. i also view them as mentors and i respect their boundaries. !!!

[ziiezie]

"you're my smartest student." are you flirting, by any chance?

[her-favourite]

I turned 23??!!

[rawplease]

need

[kosmogrl]

hey, we’ll be ok

[l0ve-despite-deactivated2026071]

the look you get from that one girl in class who seems like shes onto you

[her-favourite]

Her cover picture

I was in London a month ago and I had asked for recommendations from her - museums and galleries she likes. And she recommended a gallery that had a temporary exhibition there.

N: go and see this exhivition if you have time! he's one of my favorite painters me: i don't know him but i will have a look, thank you! N: i'll want a postcard from there! (she meant that i would buy it in London and give it to her the next time we meet) me: if you give me your address, i’ll mail it

So I did… And she got the postcard a few days ago and sent me a picture of her son holding the postcard.

And today she set that picture as her cover picture on Facebook.

And like… before we were friends on Facebook, I used to look at her profile. And since most of her posts are set to friends only, I would just look at the few posts that are public. And now her cover picture is the post card that *I* sent her.

[her-favourite]

Her handwriting would look really good tattooed on me. 👀

[her-favourite]

The More Loving One

BY W. H. AUDEN

Looking up at the stars, I know quite well

That, for all they care, I can go to hell,

But on earth indifference is the least

We have to dread from man or beast.

How should we like it were stars to burn

With a passion for us we could not return?

If equal affection cannot be,

Let the more loving one be me.

Admirer as I think I am

Of stars that do not give a damn,

I cannot, now I see them, say

I missed one terribly all day.

Were all stars to disappear or die,

I should learn to look at an empty sky

And feel its total dark sublime

Though this might take me a little time.

September 1957

[her-favourite]

It’s very late and I can’t sleep. I was a but moody and sad because I realized (I knew it, it just occurred to me again) that I’m always the one who loves people more.

And then I open Facebook and see that N posted a poem that says:

If equal affection cannot be, Let the more loving one be me.

So… yeah.

[fruitydiaz]

yeah “i can teach you” is kind and gentle and warm and comforting. it’s also hot. right

[her-favourite]

N feels comfortable with me :33

So at the end of October, I was at a conference with N. There were a bunch of people, N knew most of them and she was friendly with them. There was one lady in particular who N seemed to be good friends with, S.

At one morning, we met up to chat a bit alone for an hour. We set around in cute, comfy charis and had a tea together. She wal all over the place, saying hello to people who we encountered but she never ignored me and always paid attention to me.

The chairs had huge pillows and after 50-55 mins, she was basically half-sitting, half-laying there. And when S arrived, she sat up. Which is such a small thing, but to me it seemed like she was more comfortable with me than with her.

Which is curious, I wondered why. Maybe it had to do with the fact that we live closer and so we experiences "everyday life" together. Or maybe because I'm younger and this mother-daughter aspect allows her to feel more comfortable with me.

Idk. Either way. this made me so giddy. :3

[her-favourite]

N's postcard - her naturally being very calming

So I was in London a few weeks ago. And I asked N for recommnedations on what to so. And she gave me a few suggestions; museums and galleries mostly. She said that if I end up going to one of the galleries, she wants a postcard from there.

And I was thinking about how cute I'd be to actually mail it to her. But I was worried that it would be unprofessional, but I went for it and texted her that if she gives me her address, I'd actually mail it to her. And she did :)))

I mailed the postcard a months ago, and it still hasn't arrived. We were texting each other a few hours ago and I brought it up because I was a bit worried.

me: what's up with your postcard?? N: some border stuff or the mailman is drunk me: i swear I can address a postcard

Which was just so cute and effortlessly calming. Typical N!

[her-favourite]

My timeline with N

2023 February - met for the first time 2023 September - took a second class with her, this class wasn't obligatory for me so she kind of knew I liked her 2024 February - she allowed me to email her anytime 2024 December - i got her phone number and talked to her 2025 May- she sent me a friend request on fb and we had our first (very brief) chat 2025 October - met up abroad for an academic conference

[her-favourite]

That damn chemistry...

me: You’re not the “I want to f.ck everyone” type. You’re the gentleman type. T: but I want to f.ck someone, is that okay? (it was obvious that he meant one person) me: Let’s just say that I was aware of that. me: that singular someone is very interesting, coming from a strictly linguistic point of view. T: that’s one hell of a sentence

[guiltfactory-moved]

sex exists solely for narrative purposes

[her-favourite]

Book club with N (a post that I typed up back in June but didn't post)

So we went to a book club meeting together because we both like the guy who was the moderator. The guy used to be N’s professor back in the day and she always talks about him so highly. Which is just so adorable but also makes me feel so relieved to know that she probably felt the same way about him as I do about her.

The book club was amazing, I mostly just listened to people talk