A Terribly Real Thing In A Terribly False World @her-unconquerable-soul - Tumblr Blog

ppl on facebook sarcastically saying “well why don’t we do 40 year background checks on EVERYONE in congress?? there’d be nobody left!1!!”

…..that’s a great idea, let’s do that!!

sonneillonv-deactivated20220218

LMAO we require background and drug tests for MOST OTHER JOBS, you can’t act like this is an unreasonable request

the-memedaddy

warandpeas

I Wonder

krogersss

cumprise-deactivated20211231

OH BIIIIIITTTTTCCCCHHHHHHHHH

books-n-quotes

“I’m caught between trying to live my life, and trying to run from it.”

— Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being A Wallflower

snowqueenlou

You’d think after 13 years… you know I can’t even think of a thing to call it - because I joke a lot about being raised in a cult, and how that makes me a bit clueless sometimes about pop culture, and social norms.

It’s true, and it’s a nice distraction from the fact that I’m essentially an orphan because a group of hatemongers who call themselves “christian” basically tell my family that god is going to kill me for not believing what they say, and that if they maintain their contact with me, god might kill them too.

Joking that I never saw Star Wars until I was 19 and house-sitting so I could sneak-watch it, is a nice distraction from the days-long anxiety attacks that feel like an elephant is sitting on my chest, because they’re having their religious convention this week and teaching even more people to hate their families for disagreeing with their church leaders.

Making cracks about my mother being so afraid of demons that she’d put garage sale purchases in the garage so on the chance they were demonized, they couldn’t infest the house, is a nice distraction from the nightmares and night terrors I have about feeling a total lack of control over my future or my finances or my body, regardless of the actual status of each of these things.

Telling “funny stories” about how slow we’d walk in the door-to-door work, so we’d cover the least amount of ground possible, and talk to the fewest people, is a great distraction from the fact that all of my friendships are fraught with fear that any disagreement will lead to a permanent estrangement, that every single time I stand up for myself I have to prepare myself for a battle and remind myself that it’s okay to prioritize my own feelings and emotional safety.

Religious abuse and religious trauma syndrome is a real thing, whether or not anybody lists it in the DSM. It’s as real as C/PTSD or domestic violence or sexual abuse. It messes up the way you think about things; sometimes it’s so subtle you don’t even know it’s completely distorted thinking, except that you know it feels awful, and makes you not want to leave the house, or talk to people… I don’t know if it ever goes away. You get better at managing your bigger stressors, and you get better at hiding your bigger signs and symptoms most days.

The next time I have a big reaction to something you think should have been trivial, I’m asking that you consider this.

her-unconquerable-soul

Thank you