After appeasement, you and your home S may have overlooked this matter before.
Two days ago, a cute little cute came to ask me and said that I was chatting with an S. They talked about the problem of safe words, but the male S's point of view made him a bit confused.
Male S means that security words are not necessary, but people who are not good at playing and poorly skilled will need this kind of thing, because the existence of security words means that you can't control your partner, you don't even know where the bottom line is. She also needs her to remind you through security words that there is no dignity, so a S or dom that needs a security word is really low.
Is it really? Is the security word optional? Let's talk about this cute little thing today.
Wikipedia Definition: In BDSM, a security word is a series of codes or other signals used to convey its physical or emotional state, usually when it is near or beyond the emotional limits of the body. [1]
But I prefer to explain this: BDSM is a passive game that requires temporary surrender of power. When s/sub and m/dom are unequal in power, the security word is the key to ensuring that both macro identities and powers are equal.
In other words, I gave you the power to control me and control me according to your ideas, then I must have the power to stop at any time, so that at the macro level, we are still equal.
This is also at the sociological level, BDSM behavior can be accepted by modern civilization, not as horrific as the ancient slave system, the slave owner controls the root cause of slave life, mating, and life.
Is the security word necessary?
According to the theory of the previous S, as long as you have enough understanding of the partner and understand that it is better than her biological parents to understand that it is better than the locusts in her stomach, then you can not need a safety word, and No matter whether this situation is unrealistic, if you can do it, do you really need a security word?
When I was with Wang Tiezhu, I was deeply aware of her skin thick and thick. Her pain index was basically a scream of my hand. She just sighed with a sigh of relief.
But once I just hit her first slap in the face, she immediately yelled a safe word. I didn't play very heavy. It was a warm-up exercise in peacetime, so I felt very surprised.
When she asked her, she knew that when my hand touched her face, she just slightly opened her mouth, and this force made her bite her tongue. But I can't see any of her exceptions from the appearance, unless she tells me through a security word, otherwise I can't correctly perceive this kind of unexpected situation.
The security word is used to some extent to avoid various accident risks. The so-called accident is how you understand what she can't predict. Of course, if you are a singular doctor, you can use time gem to see all the 14,000605 cases in the future, then when I did not say.
Another time, I was bored and rehearsed a rope show, and tied Wang Tiezhu and another sister. The first rehearsal was very smooth, and the basic process and action were basically settled. During the second rehearsal, I was prepared to pour emotions on the basis of the action determination.
When I first tied Wang Tiezhu and set aside it, and another sister's eyes waved, when the water drained the rope, Wang Tiezhu immediately shouted the security word.
Then we sat down and communicated. Wang Tiezhu felt that I was too close to the model, which made her own resistance. Her inner state had already left the performance state. She felt that her state could no longer help me complete this. Performed, so shouted the security word to stop.
I think this is also a typical usage of security words. Everyone's bottom line is different every moment, especially in the psychological state. It is only theoretically feasible to find a fixed bottom line standard.
Why can't safety words be used directly?
You must have heard the famous saying, "Girls are wrong, she said that don't mean to continue." Of course, this is a joke, but in daily life and even BDSM, we do often encounter similar situations.
Some people are full of "endorphins" when they are experiencing pain or orgasm. They want to continue to feel like this. Their hearts are comfortable. They really like this feeling, but they really like it. Their words are constantly saying: "Noooo!" "Don't!!!" "Ya Yu Butterfly!!!"
This is called psychology as a "consensual nonconsent" phenomenon. [2]
I won’t discuss it here, just the basic description of this phenomenon: one pretends to perform some behavior on another, while the other pretends not to like it.
A little bit right, for example, the old man and his wife, how to do life boring, then we have to play something else this evening, we discuss it well, I pretend to be violent "violent" you, you also pretend to resist dislike, But in fact, we all know that you don't really want to rape me. I am not really resisting you. So when I am tough, you are tolerated by default. If you say "don't", I will ignore it by default.
The problem is that the two sides may have different grasps of the degree. One party will use too much force. The other side will have a situation that really needs to say "no". When the pain exceeds the scope of the other party's enjoyment, the other party is struggling and Angry and full of aggressiveness, it really needs to stop for convenience.
These are two very different situations. The first "no" has no clear meaning, and the second "no" needs to stop immediately. Therefore, "Noooo!" "Don't!!!" "Ya Yudie!!!" is a word that is very confusing when it is directly used as a security word. Generally, more symbolic words are used to make security words alone.
Commonly used security words
Here, I am giving you a set of internationally plausible security rules - CNC rules. It marks the three states of the passive side in three colors: red, green and yellow.
Red - need to stop all activities and behaviors immediately
Yellow - the current rhythm of activity has some rush for me, need to slow down or a short break
Green - everything is ok, please continue
The security word can be spoken by the passive party, and the active party can also ask the passive party at any time. "What color are you now?"
The advantage of this set of security words is that it is not simply to separate the behavior of the two sides into "stop" or "go", but also the yellow intermediate, which can be used as a buffer adjustment.
Yellow is a frequently used word in this set of rules. If you have any questions, you can directly call out the yellow. I remember when I participated in the spy seminar of the rosy, the teacher of the lecture and the partner of the class did the demonstration. The right people are more nervous, the teacher is a little stronger, and his partner shouts out yellow.
Don't think that shouting yellow is interrupting your double activities. Yellow doesn't mean stop, stop or continue, and the decision is still in the hands of the initiative. It just means that you can better understand the real-time status of your partner and give you more possibilities.
For example, some people have shared with me. When their partner shouted yellow, he did not slow down the pace or rest, but took more intense and radical behavior and directly tested the other person's red because he wanted to know himself. Where is the bottom line of the partner, so from the yellow to the red, I tried it out, and there is a sense of strategy for playing a small king to force the king.
In the end, those who are convinced that S need a safe word are very junior, um, yes, I will share this basic dry goods with everyone today. As for the advanced, top-level, god-level, no security words. Can ensure the foolproof dry goods, the 48th is only shallow, can not write, you can ask people who spread these views to ask for.
PS: There is a stalk about this set of CNC security words, which is shared by rosy. In the process of tj, her owner asked her what color she was. She said, "Dark green! (Don't ink, whet, what's coming, ah, I'm so anxious, ah, what's the drum? Hurry up, hurry up. )"
Later, we saw Rosy all teasing her, "rosy, are you dark green today?"
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