I want you to talk about Lydia and Charles and their relationship.
If you want
Wow, I have NOT been on this blog in years and this has been sitting in my asks for a REALLY long time
So without further ado (for the maybe 3 people who still care), here's my long ass post about
Lydia and Charles Deetz, and why their relationship is the emotional crux of the entire show
I've said it before, but I want to reiterate that of all the characters in the show that she meets (Beetlejuice, The Maitlands, Delia), Lydia's most important relationship is the one that she has with her father, Charles. And this relationship serves as the emotional crux of the story, and is crucial in Lydia's development and eventual embrace of life at the end of the show.
I'm going to start off at the very beginning, with Lydia singing "Invisible" at Emily's funeral. The priest speaks some very important lines that get overlooked, but actually give us the main theme of the entire show.
In times like these we have no words, we have only each other/Scripture tell us "sorrow not, for we do not walk alone"
Of course, the "we do not walk alone" line is a direct reference to the fact that this is a show about death and ghosts, but it has a very clever secondary meaning that directly contrast with Lydia's feelings of isolation and loneliness expressed in "Invisible". She feels unseen, invisible in her grief for her mother, that people just look away when they're unsure of what to say or do.
Grownups wanna fix things, when they cant it only fills them with shame/So they just look away
Lydia turns to Charles when she sings this line, and he promptly does just that: he turns away. He cant face her in this moment, furthering Lydia's feelings. She feels alone, abandoned in her grief for her dead mother. Wanting desperately to be seen. But even though she doesnt specify by who, we know exactly who she wants and needs this acknowledgement from. And it's the only other person who knows and understands the grief she's feeling: her father, Charles.
Lydia isnt just grieving the death of her mother, but also the loss of her father. He's abandoned her, gotten a new fiance, and just supposedly just forgotten all about his dead wife, and wants Lydia to do the same.
'Cause Daddy's in Denial, Daddy doesnt wanna feel/He wants me to smile and clap like a performing seal
Daddy's moving forward, Daddy didnt lose a mom
No more playing daddy's game, I'll go insane if things dont change/Whatever it takes to make him say your name, Dead Mom
The song may be titled Dead Mom, but the song itself focuses just as much, if not more, on Charles. Lydia's moreso ranting here, expressing her anger and vulnerability in a way that she cant with her dad. The whole reason she sings "Dead Mom" is because in the scene right before, her attempts to get him to open up and talk about Emily get shot down. And at the end of the song, Lydia declares her intentions, to get her dad to finally talk to her, talk about her mom, by any means necessary.
Which is where the Maitlands come in.
While Lydia is excited by the existence of ghosts and by the prospect that her mother might be a ghost as well, her primary goal isnt just seeing her mother again. It's getting her dad to see and believe in ghosts as well.
"Your dad cant see us"
"He doesnt see me either"
Lydia wants, above all else, to be seen by her dad. And she belives that this will finally open his eyes, to get her what she's so desperately wanted since her mother's death: to have her family whole again. Both mother AND father.
Which is why the reveal of Charles and Delia's engagement breaks her. To her, Charles has not just forgotten all about her mother, but about their entire family. A family that Lydia desperately misses and needs at a time like this. But Charles is seemingly moving on, ready to discard the past. To discard their family. Discard her.
And it breaks her. It breaks her that her father may not care about her. And while its not true, those feelings are what drives her to climb onto the roof, feeling more alone and abandoned than ever...
But Lydia isnt the only one feeling alone.
Charles himself is very clearly taking things just as hard as Lydia is when it came to Emily's death, abeit in a completely different way. While Lydia throws herself into the macabe and gothic, wading dangerously deeper into grief and despair, Charles chooses to turn away from his own grief and throw himself into what he knows and where he's most confident: his work (if you havent, please listen to the demo track "A little more of your time", it gives us such good insight into Charles' character, idc that its not in the show).
Charles is not a man that handles chaos and uncertaintly well, and even admits that he struggles with expressing his feelings and being vulnerable. And from what we know about Emily, she was the exact opposite.
Mama was positive, Mama was pure/Made me less dark, and dad less insecure
Charles' facade of being the "Big Successful Business Man" is there to hide his anxiety and insecurities, and nothing makes him more insecure than his role as a father to Lydia. Charles is a provider, it's what he knows and is good at. It's why he does things like moving them into a new house, getting her a "life coach", trying to get her to act more positive and happy. Yes, a big part of it is him avoiding his own grief, but in his own way, Charles is showing how much he loves and cares for Lydia. He wants her to be happy and healthy, but without Emily as the bridge between them, his way of going about it completely miss the mark. He feels alone, which is part of why he begins his relationship with Delia. When Charles felt like him entire world had crashed around him, Delia is what anchors him again, and gives him the support he needs to mmove forward, both him and Lydia. Unfortunately, things dont work out how he planned, and the wedge between him and his daughter only ends up widening.
Which is why we have the The Netherworld/Home scene.
Lydia is completely at her lowest, most vulnerable point in the show here. Her desire to reunite with her mother again leads her to a desperate goose chase through the netherworld, screaming helplessly for her mother like the lost little girl she is. She's all on her own, lost not just in an unfamiliar place, but in life general.
And the person that comes to find her, that jumped without hesitation right into hell with her?
Charles does. Her dad jumps right into the unknown after her, and finds her when she's lost. And they both finally open up to each other, to not just express their grief, but to share it with the person who knows exactly what they're going through and can help them get through the pain, the loss, and the sorrow.
Sorrow not, for we do not walk alone
