She was quiet, but her silence was full of stories

✧ thoughts I was never brave enough to say out loud ✧ healing in real time ✧ softness, grief, boundaries, rebirth ✧ this is for the girl I was, the woman I’m becoming, and anyone who’s ever felt like too much & not enough at the same time

[herwordsunspoken]

Part of the problem is, I just be bored.

[herwordsunspoken]

It’s the fact that I know I don’t want him seriously, but I like to entertain him. I’m being toxic. I don’t want to be l, but I can’t help him. He’s fine as hell, but I can’t or won’t take him seriously. Why? I don’t know. Girls just want to have fun… but it’s not right because I know he wants something more than just a good time. Or do I? Am I gaslighting myself? Cause I tend to do that a lot. I’m just so damn indecisive. I’m not used to a guy actually pressing me to settle down. I’m used to flirting, and having my fun with no strings attached.

But I feel like that’s not what he wants, so it’s not fair for me to string him along. It’s not fair for me to keep coming in and out his life as I please knowing I don’t want to take him serious. It’s not fair to him. Cause I’m perfectly fine doing that as long as he allows it.

[herwordsunspoken]

The ladies on TikTok believe that because they are infertile, women who are fertile shouldn’t be allowed abortions… I’m so confused at the correlation.

[herwordsunspoken]

The men on tiktok are debating if childbirth is more painful than getting hit in the nuts. This guy said “I know it don’t hurt cause these bitches be having 5-6 of em” 💀

Tattoos are painful yet people have full leg and arm sleeves. Piercings are painful yet you can see people with 10+ piercings.

Just because something is painful doesn’t mean they not going do it. Like what be up with this logic?

[aidashakur]

Lover girls love themselves first.

[benjaminmcphail]

[highonoverthinking]

[herwordsunspoken]

I literally be mad asf thinking about all I did for a nka I never even wanted. Like he was deadass a charity case.

[8nin]

I would ruin my sleep schedule to talk to you

[herwordsunspoken]

I really couldn’t have liked ol’ boy that much cause not once did I write a song about him. But a nka I never even dated got 2 songs 💀💀💀

[herwordsunspoken]

I’ve never been the type to date someone solely based on looks.

Like yeah, physical attraction matters to an extent, but when you really think about it—some of the most beautiful celebrities aged terribly. That glow, that body, those sharp features? They don’t last forever.

So if I’m investing in a long-term partnership, it has to be deeper than aesthetics. Because what happens when the looks fade and all you’re left with is an empty personality or no emotional depth? I need someone whose character ages well. Whose mind, spirit, and intentions are attractive even when their face isn’t at its peak anymore.

Beauty fades. Substance stays.

[herwordsunspoken]

I keep seeing sisters on TikTok with big age gaps, and it always takes me back to when I was little and looked up to my sister so much.

But the truth is… she never really cared that much. Like, I know she loves me, but we’ve just never been close.

Whenever I see those TikToks of big sisters shouting out their little sisters as their best friends, it touches this place inside me that I can’t even fully explain. It makes me wish I had a little sister so I could be the big sister best friend I always wanted for myself.

[herwordsunspoken]

Sometimes being desired feels… yucky.

Like, yeah, people want me. They want my smile, my curves, the idea of me pressed up against them. They want me to laugh at their jokes, to flirt back, to give them a piece of me they can brag about later.

But wanting me and knowing me are not the same.

And lately, I keep thinking… maybe I’ll never find genuine love. Maybe people only see my body and not my mind, my heart, my softness, my fears.

I hate how people look at me like I’m a meal. Like I’m only here to satisfy their hunger.

I want someone who wants to trace the lines of my scars, not just the curve of my hips. Someone who wants to hear my random thoughts about life, the ones that make no sense but mean everything to me. Someone who wants to know why certain songs make me cry, why I flinch when they touch me a certain way.

I’m tired of being a fantasy. I want to be a person.

Being lusted after sounds cute until you realize how lonely it feels.

[herwordsunspoken]

just because it’s me, doesn’t mean there’s no consequence.

i’m so tired of people doing things to me, saying things to me, and then expecting me to just be cool about it. like i’m not supposed to feel a way. like i’m supposed to just swallow it and move on.

and the moment i speak up? here comes the gaslighting. “it’s not that deep.” “you’re being dramatic.” “i didn’t mean it like that.”

no. you did what you did. you said what you said. and i’m allowed to feel how i feel.

don’t act confused when i stop talking. don’t act shocked when i go quiet. it’s not that i’m passive. i’m just exhausted. y’all keep crossing lines and expecting grace just because it’s me.

stop confusing my silence for forgiveness. sometimes it’s just protection. for me.

[herwordsunspoken]

And the crazy part about it all is I haven’t truly been healing. But ignoring the pains and traumas of life just trying to move forward. Idk what’s been in the air around me lately, but all of those wounds are opening back up… and im honestly just trying to see how I can actually heal… how I can truly forgive. To just take some of the blame off of myself, not to put onto the next person but to just accept it for what it was and move on. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and change so many things… but I guess that would only be worth it if I truly didn’t love who I became today. All the things I’ve experienced have shaped me into who I currently am. And while I still have a lot more work that needs to be done, I’m liking who I have become. I just wish it didn’t have to hurt so much to get here.

[herwordsunspoken]

Genuinely curious to see how my personality would be if I was the oldest child versus the youngest. Like… I feel like a lot of my personality are just cool traits that I picked up from my older siblings because I adored them as a child. So like, if I didn’t have those older siblings to kind of mold and shape me, who tf would I be?

[herwordsunspoken]

Not going lie, my heart is too big. I make friends, go above and beyond for them and receive nothing in return. Try to show people how good of a friend I am through actions and get met with manipulation so they can take advantage of my kind heart. It’s draining. But after extended isolation; I do eventually want some kind of connection. Whether it be platonic or romantic I crave community. But I’m starting to feel like everyone that I met in my mid to late 20s just want to use me. Then people talk about it like “ohh she’s dumb, she shouldn’t have gave this person this, did that, etc.” but if I didn’t then I’d be a stuck up bitch who thinks she’s better than everyone because she has a silver spoon in her mouth. It’s like why is it so hard to find genuine people 😭 EVERYONE has been hurt, EVERYONE has been through shit in life so why do some people try to use that as an excuse for how they treat people.