THE HERO NO ONE WANTED

with great power comes great irresponsibility

[hesbugginout]

🪲🧪 i didn't choose the bug life. the bug life chose me!

HESBUGGINOUT ::: an independent rp blog for JULIAN KAPLAN, aka BUGOUT, a marvel/spider-verse original character.

a study in getting bit by fate on a friday night. fixing sh*t with duct tape and spit. complaining the whole time, but still showing up. not wanting to be the hero, but being pissed off enough at the world to save it anyway. knowing how to web across buildings before you even get your first car. putting too much giardiniera on a perfectly good italian beef sandwich. "you've got potential, kid" but never believing in it.

written by ana, she/her, cst, 27.

🖤 affiliations ::: @antlurabbit / @slackjaws

GUIDELINES • ABOUT • OPENS • PROMO

SEMI-HIATUS as of 9/16/25.

[hesbugginout]

tw: baby talk! tl;dr - baby is comin' home, i'm entering a semi-hiatus, and THANK YOu!!!!

i can't believe i'm saying this but.... WE GET TO TAKE OUR BABY HOME FROM THE HOSPITAL TODAY!!!!!!!!!!! after 44 days in the NICU... my lil' superhero is going to be home with us tonight. we were expecting him to be in for at least another week or two, but he progressed rather smoothly and quickly over the weekend after entering the final phase before discharge, and we are just so privileged and lucky that he's been doing so well. the only thing that had been holding him back from coming home was leaving his incubator (he was running a bit cold temp-wise), so one of the nurses one day was just like, ya know what, we're gonna lower the temp in here and see how your body adjusts. and he did great, so he was able to move into an open crib. in the NICU, you have to meet three requirements if there are no other complications: 1) take full bottle feedings 2) be stable in an open crib for 3-4 days and 3) pass the car seat test. WHICH HE DID all THREE!!!!

i think this means i'm entering a bit of a semi-hiatus 'til i get my ducks in a row. maternity leave starts today at noon but i also have to do some cleaning and whatnot since this whole thing happened so fast! i miss y'all deeply, and i know this is gonna sound dumb but havin this blog and meeting you guys over the last month has been so good for my mentals - a creative outlet when my reality was working, taking the 2 hr round trip to the hospital, scarfing down food, staying on top of house work (i was V bad at that...). julian/bugout is my baby and so are all y'all. thanks for everything. <33

[hesbugginout]

also i forgot to mention how GRATEFUL i am for all the friends who've plotted and chatted with me and ensued chaos with my jules. <333 @antlurabbit @duable @hidefire i could gush about yall for too long. u deserve flowers!!!!

[hesbugginout]

tw: baby talk! tl;dr - baby is comin' home, i'm entering a semi-hiatus, and THANK YOu!!!!

i can't believe i'm saying this but.... WE GET TO TAKE OUR BABY HOME FROM THE HOSPITAL TODAY!!!!!!!!!!! after 44 days in the NICU... my lil' superhero is going to be home with us tonight. we were expecting him to be in for at least another week or two, but he progressed rather smoothly and quickly over the weekend after entering the final phase before discharge, and we are just so privileged and lucky that he's been doing so well. the only thing that had been holding him back from coming home was leaving his incubator (he was running a bit cold temp-wise), so one of the nurses one day was just like, ya know what, we're gonna lower the temp in here and see how your body adjusts. and he did great, so he was able to move into an open crib. in the NICU, you have to meet three requirements if there are no other complications: 1) take full bottle feedings 2) be stable in an open crib for 3-4 days and 3) pass the car seat test. WHICH HE DID all THREE!!!!

i think this means i'm entering a bit of a semi-hiatus 'til i get my ducks in a row. maternity leave starts today at noon but i also have to do some cleaning and whatnot since this whole thing happened so fast! i miss y'all deeply, and i know this is gonna sound dumb but havin this blog and meeting you guys over the last month has been so good for my mentals - a creative outlet when my reality was working, taking the 2 hr round trip to the hospital, scarfing down food, staying on top of house work (i was V bad at that...). julian/bugout is my baby and so are all y'all. thanks for everything. <33

[hesbugginout]

GAWD i am so sorry it’s been like a week?? life has been nonstop between work, visiting the little one, and somehow finding time to clean the house / feed ourselves lmao. my dad is going to spend the weekend with us before he leaves back home to the philippines. once things slow down i should be able to get back to the swing (no pun intended) of things here… i miss yall and julian so deeply. *crying* don’t forget about meeeee

[hesbugginout]

my baby shower re-do is today!!! pics later :,,,,) it’s bittersweet because i would’ve had a bump to show off and all that, and it would’ve been like 10 degrees warmer… but im so grateful that everyone can still come together and celebrate my little. a nurse was just talking to us about it because she remembered our baby and our story, and she was like, “life is about making unexpected adjustments and figuring it out” and i just melted!

i did get my first pumpkin spice latte this morning… here’s a pic so the autumn goblin doesn’t get me!!

[hesbugginout]

the three day weekend tuckered me out… i am going to recover a bit and then be around!

[hesbugginout]

update i have not yet recovered... the chores are neverending, and work is daring to make me work

[hesbugginout]

the three day weekend tuckered me out… i am going to recover a bit and then be around!

[dailyflicks]

She brought you something special when she came here, didn't she? That's what you hold onto. That's how you keep her alive. JOSH HUTCHERSON AND ANNASOPHIA ROBB AS JESS AARONS AND LESLIE BRUKE BRIDGE TO TERABITHIA (2007) Dir. Gábor Csupó

[hesbugginout]

@antlurabbit

[hesbugginout]

@spidermac ::: julian x jane

"jeez, you're pretty." behind him, an old woman loudly, rudely, borderline aggressively clears her throat. julian is not sure how long he's been standing at the front of the line for, but he's sure he noticed the girl behind the cash register like you'd notice a freight train: right smack in the face. "shit," he mutters, then squints his eyes up at the menu like he didn't already know what he wanted before he even walked in the door. "can i get, uhh, the mcdonaldland meal with the quarter pounder please?"

[skatehates-deactivated20251021]

she  didn't  choose  this  life,  it  chose  her.  she's  just  learned  to  make  the  most  of  it  -  which  means  sneaking  into  the  movies  just  got  a  whole  lot  more  super.  she  had  been  totally  confident  that  she  could  have  teleported  them  in  without  a  hitch,  but  apparently  julian  didn't  wanna  risk  it,  insisted  he  would  take  care  of  it.  (  bummer!  )  she's  still  reeling  a  little  from  the  whiplash  of  where  she  was  versus  where  she  is  now.  one  second:  dry  desert  wind  in  her  teeth,  the  horizon  blurring  heat  over  el  paso  asphalt.  the  next:  rooftop  gravel  crunching  under  feet,  julian’s  voice  grounding  her  in  a  way  most  things  don’t.  she  can  breathe  easy  here,  thirty  feet  off  the  ground.

free  snacks  only  sweeten  the  deal,  a  pack  of  sour  strips  and  a  family-sized  bag  of  pretzel  bites  slapped  onto  her  lap.  she  leans  back  on  her  elbows,  tearing  into  the  candy,  teeth  stained  sugar-pink  in  seconds.  somewhere  in  the  distance,  the  movie  rolls,  speakers  crackling  to  life  below.  sneakers  scrape  the  ledge  as  she  pushes  back,  skidding  gravel  to  sit  next  to  him.

eyebrows  rise  into  bangs,  sugar  still  stuck  to  her  grin.  ❛❛  b.t.dubs,  canned  soda  is  superior,  ❜❜  stated  like  fact,  followed  by  the  crinkle  of  plastic,  pretzel  bag  torn  halfway  open  with  her  teeth.  ❛❛  but  seriously,  it  screams  '  i  like  my  soda  medium  warm  '.  you're  pretty  much  drinking  cherry  soup,  bro.  ❜❜  logic  perfectly  sound,  she  slinks  down  into  her  seat,  hushes  up  when  it  seems  like  the  movie  is  finally  starting,  if  for  a  moment:  she  jitters  like  bad  reception,  edges  blurring,  pieces  of  her  skipping  in  and  out  of  space,  but  she's  still  there.

❛❛  hey,  don't  shoot  the  messenger  here,  ❜❜  she's  leaning  over  her  arm  rest,  whispering  conspiratorially  as  if  she'd  be  shushed  by  anyone  other  than  him.  ❛❛  but  i  think  this  movie  might  be  about  a  princess  whose  also  a  bride.  ❜❜  feigns  defense,  hands  rising  in  the  air.  ❛❛  you  caught  me,  it's  me,  the  william  goldman.  ❜❜

[hesbugginout]

the sweet, sweet hissssss of a dr. pepper bottle being twisted open almost drowns out the opening statement of janey's nightly (seemingly nightly, at least) filibuster with julian. he's almost mouth-to-mouth with the bottle before a smirk adorns his lips; he rolls his eyes and shakes his head. he's not sure what it is about janey, but she seems to know just the right things to say to irk him, opinion-wise. "and what's so bad about cherry soup?" a rhetorical question. obviously, it sounds disgusting, but the thing is, julian wholly disagrees. "you just don't get it. it's so crispy out of a bottle. and when it's warm, it's even crispier. the flavor's stronger. when it's chilled and in a can, it's like, good for 30 seconds before you're just drinking flat, cold nothingness."

so dramatic, and yet, so much to say about the topic.

he turns his attention to the large projector in the distance, closing his bottle before setting it on the ground, crunching the gravel underneath it for a makeshift koozie. "oh, and another thing," he whispers back, "you can close the bottle and preserve its freshness. i'd like to see you close your can."

after a beat, julian glances over at janey at the right time. he's never told her, but he sort of likes when she glitches. it's almost like he's seeing his brain restart itself in real time after a stretch of haywire thoughts. and that, is strangely comforting. he snorts at her joke. "see," he begins, "this is part of why i got us seats all the way up here. i'm gonna be much more interested in what you have to say than i will be actually watching this movie." is that... kinda flirting?

[junkfoodcinemas]

Nobody (2021) dir. Ilya Naishuller

[fgreene2]

is it weird to say he feels a little like he cheated? or at least, he assumes this is what such a thing would feel like. it was the same thing he had felt back when he was trying to help dustin’s ghost. sneaking around, avoiding the people that he usually held so close. he feels tears pricking at the corner of his eyes, not from the grief, but just how overwhelming everything is.

“i really wanted to tell you.” and it’s the full, honest truth. even when it was just small little glances between him and dustin, why hadn’t he said anything? before there was anything actually stopping him?

it’s a question he hasn’t asked himself in years.

“i… i didn’t know how.” which is true, at least. ghost shit aside, he has never really been able to untangle his feelings for julian from everything else. “i’m sorry.”

[hesbugginout]

"hey..." concern. his brows furrow as he analyzes forrest's face. once he picks up on the fact that forrest's eyes are glossing, he repeats, striking a delicate balance between softness and sternness. "hey."

if he could turn back time, he wouldn't have pried. but julian is ever curious about his best friend, this person who he feels as if he knows everything about, and absolutely nothing about, simultaneously. it's like how something can be both beautiful and painful, like a star going supernova.

"i don't want you to be sorry," he says. "i understand. it was... hard on everyone, yanno, when dustin—" he stops himself there and takes a breath. "i'm sorry that i wasn't there for you,

"you know i'm always here for you no matter what, right?"

[purgirltory]

The thing means nothing to her in her current state. Rubbing sleep from her face, squinting hard at the bright green threatening to burn her eyeballs out. He's excited and a fully awake and alert Violet would probably just bask in the enthusiasm, kiss his face and tell him he did great, whatever it was that he did.

A sleepy Violet can provide no such affection. Only a dumb look and a confused tilt-then-shake of the head in search of elaboration.

[hesbugginout]

he realizes she's probably in that fugue sleep state he gets in from time to time. "ah. okay, one sec," then he undoes his wristwatch to hand to her, guiding her hand to receive it in her palm. figures he might helicopter over her for a little bit until she regains full consciousness.

"you know the quantum travel teleporter thingy i use to come here?"

[hesbugginout]

we are getting home from the hospital early today and i fully intended to spend the rest of the night cleaning cause we have guests coming over for labor day but like. i’m exhausted

[hesbugginout]

HESBUGGINOUT ::: an independent rp blog for JULIAN KAPLAN, aka BUGOUT, a marvel/spider-verse original character.

it was friday night. payday! i'd been eyeing this $400 fender and case for sale at king's pawn shop for weeks. i know i know, that place is so scummy - but i promise you, this guitar was the real deal. i swiped it for $350 'cause it had a few broken strings and there's nothing i can't fix. i get home, i open the nice, red leather case and bam! that's when i see it. the fattest green spider i've ever laid eyes on. it looked like an alien. that little sucker bit me! and now... i've got crazy powers. you can call me bugout.

written by ana, she/her, cst, 27. a study in getting bit by fate on a friday night. fixing sh*t with duct tape and spit. complaining the whole time, but still showing up. not wanting to be the hero, but being pissed off enough at the world to save it anyway. knowing how to web across buildings before you even get your first car. putting too much giardiniera on a perfectly good italian beef sandwich. “you’ve got potential, kid” but never believing in it.

🪲🧪🖤 GUIDELINES • ABOUT 🪲🧪🖤

[hesbugginout]

“if you were part of it, it’s something you can tell,” and that’s something julian believes with his whole chest, but he knows he and forrest are different. and now, after this revelation, there is a whole new shade to his best friend that wasn’t there before. it makes julian wanna give him a hug, but maybe — definitely — it’s not the right time to be doing it.

he swallows a lump in his throat that he didn’t know formed, but the damn thing is too stubborn to go down without a fight. even though forrest is averting his gaze, julian keeps his fixed on him, trying not to have a pitiful look in his eyes, but he can’t help it.

“that makes sense,” he tells him, “and it doesn’t sound stupid.” he wants to add “i wish you told me,” but he refrains. he doesn’t know what, but over their friendship there’s always been an inkling that forrest is keeping something from him — and this confession just makes julian feel all the more suspicious and left out, equal parts.

“can i ask how long it was before he died that you guys, yanno, were together?”

[fgreene2]

and there it is. the real can of worms that he had been avoiding. forrest still remembers all of the important moments, but a good half of them happened when dustin was already gone. and sure, he could lie, but something about that has always felt awful. as if it would make him evil. so instead, he just avoided it all. still lying, but it felt less like a betrayal.

at least, less of a betrayal to dustin. but julian was the one who was still here.

"..uh, we had a class together. like the year before. and that's uh, that's when we started talking. but uh... things didn't get serious until..." after he was fucking dead. "probably. like. a few months. before, uh, everything." eyes are still dead set on the ceiling, an awful feeling in his gut. because what the fuck else could he do?

(he is always fighting this feeling of being stuck in the middle of the ocean, with no way to reach out to anyone.)

"it wasn't ever official, or anything. just kinda... i dunno. we were both kinda figuring. it all out."

[hesbugginout]

the inkling is practically trilling now, no longer just this silent thing in the back of julian’s mind. they had a class together? that’s pretty likely, he supposes; it’s not like forrest and julian had every class together in high school. but julian thinks he would have at least seen something in passing, an interaction between them. anything, really, to reassure julian he wasn’t really that oblivious.

but. he wants to give forrest the benefit of the doubt — that he’s being vague because he doesn’t wanna uncover painful memories and he wants to respect, maybe, dustin’s honor. and of course julian believes he’s doing that, but it also feels like there might be an ulterior motive. and julian can’t help but let the wheels turn in his mind.

regardless, it’s not like julian can turn on the big bright interrogation light onto his best friend and demand to know everything. it might have been a few years ago but he knows that grief takes many shapes and sizes and can even be for people you haven’t met (like his adoptive mom). his mind will hang onto the details and keep trying to fit pieces together but inevitably they’ll move on. won’t they?

“whoa. i had no idea,” he chuckles. “i kinda wish you woulda told me. but… i guess i understand why.” it’s jealousy and the feeling of exclusion all in one weird emotional cocktail he didn’t plan on drinking tonight.

[hesbugginout]

@antlurabbit

“babe,” he whispers. “wake up. i did it. i finally made the thing.” they are in violet’s motel room, in the middle of the night. i promise, julian sleeps. it’s just, the time difference between here and his dimension —

[purgirltory]

Violet rarely sleeps, but it's become more common with Julian around. Still, it's light. Easy to disrupt. Even his whisper sets her body rigid and anxious before she remembers — it's just him. It's Julian. No one else. Slowly, she sits up, peering over with bleary eyes.

‟ Huh? ” Give her a moment, she's processing.

[hesbugginout]

“look. it’s the thing.” he shows it off on his wrist like a kid at show and tell. but to violet, it just looks like his wristwatch — the large, clunky, digital all-black watch he wears with the bright neon green numbers that sear into your eyes. sorry, julian is too excited to be clear.