stupid bitch

[hexcryingwolf]

YEAH. SAME.

[hexcryingwolf]

high key wanna fuck around but id probly be insta-banned lol

[hexcryingwolf]

i really wish theyd stop saying shit like "you need to move on" to me. the people who hurt me do not get to determine how much or how long i feel hurt.

[hexcryingwolf]

this sucks a lot too. this is Tem talking to my husband and it's dripping with the twisted dishonesty these people coat on everything - "every time you... talk to me" my husband hadnt spoken to Tem since i was on good terms with them before this. he never said anything abusive to them.

- "ive asked her to stop talking to me" literally made that up on the spot. Tem never said these words to me.

- "i did not say it's the only thing in her life" u sure?

oh and in response to this cap: fuck Bleck for telling you assholes anything - nevermind the fact that he completely misrepresented what was happening - and fuck you all for just taking his word for it.

"in a space [i wasnt] in" doesnt fucking matter. you all pretended to care for me but treated me like shit behind closed doors. thats still true whether i ever found out about it or not. ANYWAY

- saying i was going to write a call-out post like that so matter-of-factly. calling my side of things "a bizarre misunderstanding" without knowing what i was saying. youre just twisting the fucking narrative and it makes me want to scream

its whats happening every single fucking time you or Glip or anyone says "the stupid bitch thing was just a fun joke for laughs" NO. NO IT WASNT.

the story of why Glip said that to me changed twice. "it was a joke" was the version that made it out like i was at fault and Glip did nothing wrong, so thats the one they go with now. because even they recognized:

- insulting me for apologizing for intruding, because apologizing means im implying they felt pain and how dare i - or - - feeling bad because i apologized and wanting to reflect that feeling back to me

are both unhinged contradictory excuses for them just being a dick to me out of nowhere.

i cant let it go because no one is being honest about it. i want the log of that conversation so bad because the gaslighting drives me up the fucking wall. am i missing something??

and even if it was a joke, it still hurt, so fuck youuu

[hexcryingwolf]

it really fucking bothers me when i talk about old stuff and the reaction from flora folks is "move on" or "let it go" you guys dont get to decide how badly something you did hurt me or what the expiry date on that pain should be.

[hexcryingwolf]

brain fog is bad today so just some misc thoughts n shit, and questions id ask them if given the chance. ill probably just add to this whenever im feeling shitty about it

why does Glip act like they had nowhere to go when Marl was forcing them into the zoo shit when they had already cheated on him with Eevee? where the fuck is Eevee in all of this? i honestly dont think Glip is a zoophile because of the dog stuff. i believe they were groomed and forced and hated it. but i dont think theyre against zoo shit, considering they never outed JungleKawa and theyve never really condemned what Marl did to Apollo? the cat stuff i think comes from that apathy; they dont think its wrong to use animals as sex toys. "rampant zoophilia" is still a major issue in their community as well because of that apathy and i dont mean to downplay it the thing with Eevee defending raping a dog because "well the dog is choosing to hump me" as if thats a normal thing for a dog to do? like humping a leg is one thing but full on actual penetration is something that needs to be taught, and no one who teaches that shit to their dog is doing it with care towards the animal why dont we ever talk about Shikka? the way he drew So Much pet/owner porn and owned a dog and was a mod despite verbally refusing to ever do any actual moderation? i still cant get over the "Marl never owned a camcorder" thing because camcorders even in the early 2010s were like the size of soup cans? not exactly hard to hide. were they taking regular inventory of his shit enough to know every single item he owned but also didnt know that he was fucking the dog? are they stupid? also fucker had a smart phone. those have cameras in them.

[hexcryingwolf]

shut all the way the fuck up

[hexcryingwolf]

remember the time Glip invited Mike PMD-E into the server and stuck him in a quarantine channel with some other problem users, probly wanting to do their whole public execution thing with him but he just hung out and talked about random shit like a regular guy so they eventually just removed him

im not commenting on what Mike may have done in the past or anything its just really interesting in retrospect to see how normal people would act when they were immune to the culty bullshit

[whitepeopletwitter]

[curlicuecal]

oh also I really like when someone explains why they did the thing while they're apologizing

I want to understand them better and also if they can analyze their own behavior I have more confidence that they can actually fix it in the future

[scribefindegil]

Everyone is so weird about people who cry easily. Fellas, is it evil and manipulative to *checks notes* have an involuntary stress response?

[bluishorange]

actually a coworker of mine said something interesting about this. I was saying that I truly can’t help how easily I cry, and I hate when people assume I do it on purpose.

and he paused for a second and then said, “when you’ve been taught from a young age that crying is weak and you should train yourself never to cry for any reason, you assume that everyone else has trained themselves too, so anyone who cries has to be doing it on purpose. it took me a long time to realize that wasn’t true.”

listen we’re never gonna run out of ways the patriarchy hurts all of us.

[hexcryingwolf]

whenever my depression goes down the no self worth/extreme self hate route my mind always comes back here. i still crave some kind of validation from people who stopped caring about me a long time ago. i miss people who ended up being liars at best and dangerous at worst.

[hexcryingwolf]

so, after all of that im cutting off the ssa mods. im gonna retire this blog too, but not delete it; im gonna go back and un-private some posts that are more just info about my experiences. because flora is still a cult, Glip is still dangerous, and speaking out against them is the right thing to do. i just wanna take a day or two however long i feel like to clear my head of all this first

but, yeah. since i wont be communicating with the ssa mods anymore im not gonna kno about it when Glip does more stupid shit. im not gonna keep tabs on them myself, i dont think there's any point in me doing that. just gonna have my side of the story out there and back off from it all. like i shouldve done in the first place.

im truly sorry to anyone i treated unfairly. regardless of what people told me and what i believed, my actions are my own and i was a bitch at times. this blog shouldve just been about what i went through, not contributing to any new drama. if anyone has any grievances about my behaviour they wanna talk about, send an ask or dm. i am more than willing to take accountability for my own fuck ups, always have been, always will be.

[hexcryingwolf]

i can only take responsibility for what ive said, i cant speak for anyone else

this is all i ever said to/about Grim

and i said it based on an incorrect assumption the ssa mods made without any real proof.

they still believe it

i have apologized to Grim directly

i never even really invested in the Casper/Sean stuff anyway

i certainly didnt spend all of wednesday arguing about it; i was working. this is hard for me to prove because all of the work i did is under NDA so i cant show it. i tried to find a way to get a record of my activity from that day but im fucking stupid so i couldnt figure it out

i dont know the full truth about the carbonato account. this is what Hare told me

i never posted to kf. Ashe and Hare have taken all responsibility for the accounts

i have never been a member of the ssa account

i left Iris' server months ago

i cant give any more than this. i know it might not mean much at all to anyone who was hurt by ssa's actions and im guilty by association anyway, but i never intended to be involved with people who would say such horrible things about someone's tragedy as was said to Grim. i should have kept this blog as a way to personally vent about flora and Glip but i didnt, i put my trust in the wrong people again. im just so hurt and embarrassed by this entire situation. i shouldve known better

this doesnt make me entirely blameless. i know i can be a bitch and have temper problems. all i can do is try and work on them going forward. i dont wish harm on anyone involved in any of this, i just want to try and move forward

im sorry.

[hexcryingwolf]

no hang on, ima stop you right there whether it satisfies you or not, its a pretty fucking valid explanation actually

[hexcryingwolf]

the part where Eevee completely removes her actions and the actions of her friends from the equation is the same thing my former friend who ratted out my venting to flora did when i confronted him about it so that sucks

he retroactively rewrote my intention for wanting to reconnect with him after a previous fallout. i missed him and wanted to be friends again when his actions weren't a factor (because i didnt know he had done that)

this fucking sucks too. like this is such blatant flora-pilled behaviour. this guy was booted from the server not long after i left, and look how recently he rewrites the narrative to where HE didnt do anything incorrect, no matter how hypocritical

[hexcryingwolf]

full denial

[hexcryingwolf]

no hang on, ima stop you right there whether it satisfies you or not, its a pretty fucking valid explanation actually

[hexcryingwolf]

the part where Eevee completely removes her actions and the actions of her friends from the equation is the same thing my former friend who ratted out my venting to flora did when i confronted him about it so that sucks

he retroactively rewrote my intention for wanting to reconnect with him after a previous fallout. i missed him and wanted to be friends again when his actions weren't a factor (because i didnt know he had done that)

this fucking sucks too. like this is such blatant flora-pilled behaviour. this guy was booted from the server not long after i left, and look how recently he rewrites the narrative to where HE didnt do anything incorrect, no matter how hypocritical

[stopscammingartists]

I’m curious, in the first ask about this topic (finalcord’s statement), you mentioned that it sparked a discussion within Final’s friends (some being victims) what did they think of the statement

You can leave everyone in the messages/screenshots anonymous.

I don't have screenshots to provide, but was directly told what happened from the person who did this. This person is not someone who has spoken about their experience in the Floraverse community publicly. This is how they described what happened:

I've actually talked to Final about a lot of the stuff that has been brought up on the site, and I think its tune is much different after a night of talking. I didn't really get to say much before it just threw out the document. The thing is I guess too is that Final and Kero both extremely regret those times. But I don't think it's ever actually thought about how X is bad because Y. I kinda went off with literally all the things that you can find on the site and what happened to [redacted victim who also has not spoken of their story publicly]. I think I've finally gotten through to people that Glip just sucks. It was extremely depressing for everyone else, but so be it. I am tired of being nice

Another, different anonymous victim who has decided to not speak of their story publicly (And not the victim the person I am quoting above is referring to) reached out to me and said this:

Man, I could have swornd I had heard Final was done with the cult for years. I almost gotta wonder given how long it's been out of the Flora game if Final was contacted by Glip and put up to defending them.

Which is a good question, Glip is known to reach out to people who have been otherwise cut off from the cult to demand they do something. I know someone who has been out and who Glip was actively hostile too that Glip contacted via Discord to berate because this individual drew wholesome fanart of Floraverse OC's and shared it in some private spaces. Glip did this to prevent this person from drawing or using Floraverse characters ever again. There is also the fact Kasran was actively put up by Glip to confront Bex about leaving the community and the private letter she wrote about it to her therapist. Kasran had to do this to get in good graces with the community again.

I wonder if Final was put up to this.

[hexcryingwolf]

valid grievances with the culture of the community they moderate wont stop Glip because they cant read

seriously though, ive been thinking about the way we all get dismissed as lying KFers, but little if any stories and accusations originate from KF. even people who went to KF like Twee really only did it because they didnt feel safe to speak out anywhere else Glip used to have the influence to have an army of fans rise up against any detractors. i know, i was one of those cringe """puppy-pile"" assholes. but now that they cant silence people, most are speaking out on tumblr, twitter, in discords, on youtube...

but as long as Glip ignores allllll of those, then KF is all that remains

[hexcryingwolf]

i dunno what it means that i always question my memory of the bad times considering the minutiae i remember about good or even neutral times. i remember the most random, inconsequential things from being a fan of Glip's with utmost confidence. things that hurt me though? sounds fake, must be a me problem.