Hey! It's Yana.

The best way to experience interesting things is to explore and go out of your comfort zone. Stay determined, live and love life.

[heyitsyana143]

#Bondee add me and let's be neighbors.

[heyitsyana143]

[heyitsyana143]

[heyitsyana143]

Please, Stay. Don’t Go.

The moment I asked you to leave me alone, was also the moment I wanted to tell you to stay and don’t let me go on alone. 

I had to say goodbye, because I thought it was the best for the both of us. But, it never do me any well. I am miserable. I am sad. I am broken deep inside.

I had to fake that I was okay, so everyone wouldn’t worry. I had to be okay, because everyone is against me. Everyone is against me loving the person I  have and will always be in love with. 

The moment we have been very close with each other, was also the moment that I told myself that I wouldn’t let this person out of my sight. Not ever. But then, everything was out of timing.

If only you were free, I would have never let you go. I would have made you closer to me. I would have made you mine. I would have loved you more than you could ever be loved by anyone.  I would have made you smile everyday because that’s one thing that matters to me. 

I love seeing you smile. I love seeing you happy. I love hearing you share all your stories. I love how stubborn you can be. I love how you were so affected and worried about the things that concerns me. I love how you helped me survive everything. In your own little way, you became so much more to me than what you have been used to be, just a friend. 

I  will always love you. And no matter what happens, you will always hold my heart. That’s one thing you have been winning at, holding my heart. 

I can only wish that I didn’t have to let go of you.  I can only wish that you didn’t let me go, but here we are.

Always know in your heart that I am always desiring for your happiness. I never intended to be a sudden sadness in your life. I hope you’re well.

DRG to EAP

[heyitsyana143]

Second question that I'm having a hard time answering was...

"Are you okay?"

I always say I am okay, but...

.

.

I am really not okay.

[heyitsyana143]

Hardest question that I have to answer...

"Are you crying?"

I always end up giving an excuse when in fact, I am..

.

.

crying until I fall asleep.

[heyitsyana143]

3 months and counting of not being able to talk to each other... The price I pay for admitting how I feel.

"I saw how perfect we could be, and that's what breaks my heart..."

[heyitsyana143]

"I don't want na pagtagal ng panahon mahihirapan lang tayo to let each other go."

-Myself to You, 2021

[heyitsyana143]

"Always remember na nandito lang ako, hihintayin kita okay?"

Gusto kong bumalik. Gusto kong bawiin lahat ng sinabi ko. Gusto kong maging selfish para maprove na mas karapatdapat ako, pero ayoko makasakit ng ibang tao...

Mas pipiliin ko na ako ang masaktan kaysa ako ang makasakit ng marami. Kahit malungkot, kahit araw-araw kong naiisip na sana ako na lang, hindi ko pa din pipiliin ung ikakasaya ko lalo na't alam kong mas madami ang magagalit, malulungkot at masasaktan sa magiging kasayahan ko.

Gusto ko marinig yung boses niya. Gusto ko marinig na sa kanya mismo magmula yung mga salitang gusto ko marinig. Gusto ko siya naman ngayon. Lagi na lang ako ang nauuna magsabi ng lahat. Gusto ko siya naman ang makarealize na, "ako na lang"..

Pero kilala ko siya, alam kong parehas kami ng gagawin. Ang isipin ang ikasasaya ng iba bago ang sariling nararamdaman. Alam kong yun ang gagawin niya dahil ayaw niya ng nakakasakit ng ibang tao, pero sa sitwasyon na to naiipit siya dahil kasalanan ko, dahil hindi ako marunong sumunod sa sarili kong rule: " Bawal main-love."

[heyitsyana143]

I am okay.

Am I okay?

I am.

Okay.

Ok.

[heyitsyana143]

It's me again, Tumblr, just sending love to everyone.

[heyitsyana143]

Clearer view of everything gives you unending happiness. Always try to look deep and beyond, you'll see what our eyes can't.

[heyitsyana143]

I always smile because it lessens the pain, the longing and the sadness that I'm feeling. It makes me feel a lot better, actually.

I always want to look at people's smiling faces. It adds up beauty and color to everyone's dark world.

Keep smiling, no matter what.

[heyitsyana143]

Always try to see the good in Mondays. 😊❤🥰

[heyitsyana143]

Everything’s calm just like the sea, So I tried to relax and let my mind be free. But after a short while, the calmness is no more. I can only hear the loudness of thunder roar. My eyes started to pour drops of rain, Because now I can feel every pain. I don’t know when will the sun shine, Maybe someday, if you will be mine. But for now I have to say goodbye, To the one I always want to say “Hi”. (EAP)

[heyitsyana143]

Some days I'd feel too confident that I am beautiful, but most days I don't. Photos were taken during "some days".

[heyitsyana143]

What if I'm never going back? And kung bumalik ako, ano na'ng mangyayare? I'd still be on the sidelines, and I will never be your priority. I left the circle because I feel like I don't belong there. Someone else holds your heart. I can never take it away from her, nor ask you to give it up to me. So, what's the point of going back? 🥺 You know how much I love you, and that will never change. No one can replace you in my heart. Since December 2012, you had my heart. You will always have.