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@hezimet
Just like bad days, healing comes in waves. You may find it in the big moments like spending time with a loved one, travelling the world, moving to a different place or accomplishing a goal of yours. You may find it in the little moments like watching the night sky, cooking, reading a good book or sharing a smile with a stranger. Sometimes it may be just a second in which you experience that feeling; that feeling of total happiness, when your heart seems to be jumping in joy. Now those moments might not last longer than a blink of an eye but the simple fact that they do happen is a sign that healing for you, my love, is possible. It takes time, this blooming, this coming back to your own self (Dhiman). So, make sure to give yourself this time and remember that recovery too comes and goes like waves - you will get there.
Love yourself : love yourself : love yourself
I know how hard it can be to tell yourself things like I will be okay or It will get better over and over again and not feel anything changing. I know how frustrating it can be to hold on when you feel like the pain does not seem to end. But trust me, one day you will be alright again and it is going to be so worth it, my love. You might not feel it tomorrow, in a week, in a month or even in a year but you will feel okay eventually. Please hang in there. You are doing so great and you can be so damn proud of yourself. Take it day by day, I know you can do this. I am rooting for you and I love you very much.
Forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for all the times you thought someone else was better than you. Forgive yourself for all the times you talked yourself down in front of others. Forgive yourself for all the times you stood in front of the mirror and told yourself that you were ugly and worthless. Forgive yourself for all the times you put your needs and wants second; for all the times you did not choose yourself. It is time to apologise for all those years of mistreating yourself, my love. You deserve so much better; you are so worthy, so beautiful and absolutely lovable. It is time to put your weapons down and end this war - it is time to heal.
Tahmin edersiniz ki kafam karıştı bugün.
İstemiyorum nefretle dolmayı, sesini duyunca ağlamayı
Ellerim, saçlarında dolaşan ellerle aynı mı sahi? Sesim, adını kahkahalarımın arasına mutlulukla-ve farkında bile olmadan, ne zaman fırsat bulsam-sıkıştırdığım sesle aynı ses mi?
Gözlerim yanında seninle kapanan ve sana hayranlıkla bakan gözlerle aynı gözler mi?
Seni kaybetmemek için o kadar çabaladım ki... O sıcak yaz havasını bile özledim
Sadece sen, yalnızca sen durdurabilirsin bu ızdırabı; ama durdurmazsın.
İnkar ettiğim günler çok geride artık, cevap bulmak için çırpındığım binbir türlü anlamsız sorunun da peşini bıraktım.
Çünkü ben artık seni bıraktım.
İnsan kendini anlamaya, sevmeye ve öğrenmeye çalıştığı yaşlarda daha dikkatli olmalı galiba. Öyle herkesin girip çer çöp atmasına, etrafı darmadağın etmesine izin vermemeli.
Yaş sadece bi sayı değil, bunu öğrendim. Sen de sanki benden büyük olduğun onca yıl beni daha iyi nasıl kırabilirsin onu öğrenmişsin.
Komik ve acınası halimden bir türlü çıkmak istemedim, o halimi bırakmam seni de bırakmam demekti çünkü. Nasıl gözükürsem gözükeyim, kim ne düşünürse düşünsün kendimi geri kazanmak istemedim; çünkü seni kaybederdim.
Hatırlamadığın her şeye tutundum. Hepsini beynime değil, tenime kazıdım. Seninle olmak-sana maruz kalmak desem daha doğru olacak-zordu ama seni bırakmanın yanında ne ki?
Bazen çıldıracak gibi hissediyorum.
Konuşmak için çok yorgunum, gülmek için de. Ne ağzımı açacak, ne de yataktan çıkacak gücüm yok.
Giving people more of what they already take for granted won't make them treat you better.
Acamea, Single That.
Your existence is so much more than your appearance; you are here to live, to laugh, to spend time with family and friends. You are not here to worry about what you look like. So it is time, my love, to thank your body for all its functions that allow you to enjoy life, for you have legs that carry you everywhere, arms that can embrace people you love, eyes to see the beauty of this earth, ears to hear your loved ones talk. Your body does so much for you and it will be there, no matter what you are going through. It will support you, it loves you and all it wants in return is to be suported, to be loved, too. Treat your body like a friend, not an enemy, for it was not created to look pretty, it was created to accompany you every step of the way.
shoutout to all the folks who refused to turn cruel or apathetic after facing trauma. i know how hard you are trying to be kind despite all of the cruelty you have faced, and i see you. you’re wonderful, i love you.
For whoever needs to read this.
“Find things beautiful as much as you can, most people find too little beautiful.”
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“I know what I want, I have a goal, an opinion, I have… love. Let me be myself and then I am satisfied.”
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“Some people won’t appreciate you no matter how much you do for them. Release yourself. Go where you’re appreciated and understood.”
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“Nothing is absolute. Everything changes, everything moves, everything revolves, everything flies and goes away…”
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“From so much loving and journeying, books emerge. And if they don’t contain kisses or landscapes, if they don’t contain a man with his hands full, if they don’t contain a woman in every drop, hunger, desire, anger, roads, they are no use as a shield or a bell: they have no eyes, and won’t be able to open them, they have the dead sound of precepts. I loved the entangling of flesh, and out of blood and love I carved my poems. In hard earth I brought a rose to flower, fought over by fire and dew. That’s how I could keep on singing.”
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