the signs as quotes from "the comeback kid"
aries: eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs
taurus: here's an on fire garbage can... could be a nursery
gemini: "you have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair," you know, how you talk to a child
cancer: marijuana is legal in 18 or 19 states. it's insane. don't whoo if you're white. it's always been legal for us, come on sir
leo: i know you told me, but i have had a very long day, i am very small, and i have no money, so you can imagine the stress im under
virgo: "oh we have to go!! we have to go see bill!" and without looking up at her my dad goes, "why? it's not like he's gonna remember you."
libra: so my dad pulled up to the drive thru window and ordered a black coffee. the one thing no kid can every enjoy
scorpio: anyone who's seen my dick and met my parents needs to die
sagittarius: bill clinton turns, looks at my mom and says, "hey ellen!" cause he never forgets a bitch ever
capricorn: we bought a house that was built in the 20s but it was flipped in 2014, which means it's haunted but it has a lovely kitchen backsplash
aquarius: we were at lion king on broadway and there was a five year old behind us going, "look it's pumbaa! look its timon!" and my dad turned around and said, "are you going to talk the entire time?"
pisces: some people give off a vibe of.. right away, and they're like, "do not fuck with me." my vibe is more like, "hey, you could pour soup in my lap and i'll probably apologize to you!"
titsay
tangentwithtanner
2087
kianamaiart
prguitarman
