[hijustwannabeyours]

And I've tried to date other people

I tried to make it work the way it worked with you

I forced it to the point of pushing people away

I just thought that it would work

If I would do the same things I did with you with someone else, it would feel the same

But ofc it didn't

Because you're unique

But I know you've moved on, and I wanna get there too eventually

I miss you every single day

[hijustwannabeyours]

It was nice to fall in love again

You made me feel what I thought and I was scared I wouldn't feel anymore

It felt so nice and pure

The flowers

The cuddles with the dog in the park

The kisses on the forehead

The pick ups at the airport

Every small detail made me fall in love with you

But I guess now it's a chapter closed and I'm trying to process it still

I think I forgot your voice

I forgot how your hands on my body felt

And soon I'll forget other small moments together

And it hurts that I need to move on again

I just thought this was it

I thought we could work together on our differences and make it work

Not throw everything out the window and search for someone else

Cause I didn't want anyone else

I wanted you

[cityfawns]

Reset NYC

[hijustwannabeyours]

I even miss our fights sometimes.

And making love afterwards.

Or you buying my favorite food when you knew you did something wrong.

I miss your stupid jokes.

[hijustwannabeyours]

Come si fa a dimenticare il primo amore?

[hijustwannabeyours]

Sometimes I feel is pathetic having feelings for someone who broke my heart almost 2 years ago.

I can't understand why I still care so much. Why I still dream about him. Why I still wish he was by my side. Playing with my hair. Or trying to cook Peruvian food.

I miss him. I miss him so bad.

But it's so pathetic. He has already moved on. Long ago. And he's happy. And he's probably learning new receipts. And he's probably playing with someone else's hair.

Ah verdammt.

[hijustwannabeyours]

Today I miss you.

If I could get a choice

I'd choose to wake up next to you

Smiling like that time

I hope you will remember me

Even after years

I can't forget you

You were my first love

My first true love

I hope to see you again

I still have some hope to come back to you

In few years

I'll wait for you

I know I shouldn't

But I can't get you out of my mind

I've tried

And i feel guilty for all the people who have loved me

I loved them too, but nothing like the love i felt for you

I miss you

[alma-en-soledad]

[hijustwannabeyours]

The love I feel for you is different. Is not full of ups and downs. Is a feeling that gives me calm and stability. Your smile, your eyes. When you hug me or take my hand. When you are too shy to socialize and just hug me. Or hold my hand strongly. I love this small things. I love that you opened up to me. I love me how much you love me and I love that I love you. It feels just right. And my panick attacks are suddenly less. And my worries about the past seem gone when I am with you. I love dancing with you in our room. With every kind of music. Or even without. I love when you bite my ear and then kiss me softly. I love that every night before sleeping you hold my hand and then kiss it. I love how you play with my hair. I love how you try to make me fall asleep first because it´s super hard for me to fall asleep. I love how you smile and kiss me everytime I am not right. (and then you say "for once you are not right" even tho is more than once) How you listen to me. How you try to cheer me up when I am sad. I even love when you are confused ahah because I love to make funny little jokes. I love when we have tickle attacks. And how I tought you how to handle tickles. I love you bb.

[hijustwannabeyours]

I think my heart is slowly open it up for you. You have been like a fresh new breath. All the small things you do. When you pass me the water because I am lazy and already in bed. Or when you cook breakfast for both of us because suddenly I am not a morning person anymore, but you are. When you wake me up slowly with kisses because you know I cannot sleep well. When you clean all the kitchen after I do a mess. Everytime you look at me and tell me I am beautiful. I feel so lucky to have you. All the big things you have done for me. When I just called you and asked you to stay overnight when we just met just because I had problems and I did not want to be alone. Or when you decided to take the train and spend Christmas with me becasue I would be alone in France. I treasure you. I am so lucky to have you and to be loved by you.

[alma-en-soledad]

[dantecain]

When I complain about being a ‘gifted’ kid who grew into a talentless adult I don’t mean that I’m not trying to work on my talents or anything

I mean that the ‘gifts’ I had are useless

Reading books above my age isn’t a talent when I’m not eleven

Knowing big words isn’t a talent when I’m not a kid, it’s just growing up

It’s just a weird thing that happens and it feels shitty when you’re brought up being told you’re an exceptional child only to realise as an adult you’re just average

[coolfayebunny]

This

[riotbrrrd]

I did a lot of reading about gifted kids and especially gifted adults when I got my “diagnosis” because I was told I was gifted at 23 and well, it serves no purpose to have a confirmation that you’re gifted at 23

Thing is, gifted children are not amazingly better than everyone else. Gifted brains just don’t work the same so they build their skills in a different order

Basically when you’re very young, most people brain learn social skills and how to interact with their peers, but gifted brains are already at the next step which is how to understand and interact with the world

That makes the stereotypical young children that are very good at math, always asking questions about how things work, very upset when they don’t know a thing

But the thing is, when everyone gets older, they’ve mastered most social skills and now turn towards understanding the world

But the gifted children have already mastered that part and are turning towards how to build social skills. Except there’s no one left to teach us about that! Because we’re late to that party

Long story short, at the end everyone, gifted or not, goes through all the necessary steps to make functioning adults, so the difference that was obvious as a child has disappeared

But us gifted people often end up with social anxiety and impostor syndrome because we are actually less equipped than others to face a world that taught everyone to be confident and talk to people while we were busy reading books above our age

[poppetawoppet]

……………that last paragraph.

damn.

[hijustwannabeyours]

I just want this pain to go away, I want to be able to focus on important thigs. I hate myself for being so sensitive.

[hijustwannabeyours]

I just wanna be done with all of this shit

[hijustwannabeyours]

can someone tell me why do I keep suffering for someone who does not love me?

[hijustwannabeyours]

I fucking hate that I still think about you. Even after more than a year. I still remember that night, when I had to say goodbye after all those mean things you told me.

I hate myself for this. I hate that I can't forget you. I hate that I want to remeber you. Ihate that I just take you everywhere I go.

It's been 3 cities and 2 countries so far.

I keep meeting new people. I keep making new friends. I keep getting to know myself better. And you're still there. I hate it. I hate you. I just want you to leave me alone and go away from my memories and my heart.

You have always caused me so much pain. Even now that our story doesn't exist anymore.

I hate that there's someone that loves me and that is ready to commit but I'm afraid. I'm afraid I'll forget you. I'm afraid I won't have the possibility to come back to you. I hate it, because he loves me good. And I feel I love him too. I don't even know what love feels like anymore.

I just want you out. But it does not matter if you're in another country. If you have already moved on with someone else. My heart will always be waiting for your return. And I hate it. Because you will never come back, I know you so well. And I hate that I know you so well. I wish I didn't. I wish i didn't know all those small things only you do. I hate that I know that you do that weird thing with your tongue when you're focused. I hate that i know that you love banana juice. I hate that I even know what's your favorite shop for clothes. I hate that I know that you need a spoon to eat spaghetti. I hate it. I hate that I know you put way too much tooth paste and it always ends up in the sink.

I hate it. I hate that i will never forget these small things. And I hate that now there's someone else learning these things about you. And she's keeping them in her heart like I did at the time.

I hate that I miss you. And god, I wish I wouldn't.

[hijustwannabeyours]

I think the best decision he did for us was to break up with me, he knew he was hurting me, so he decided to go. I am so glad he did, cause I would have never had the guts to leave.