Riverdale characters as quotes from Parks and Rec
Sweet Pea: When people get too chummy with me, I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don’t really care about them.
Fangs: I’m a simple man. I like pretty, dark haired men and women, and breakfast food.
Jughead: We have to remember what’s important in life: friends, waffles and work. Or waffles, friends, and work. But work has to come third.
Betty: The thing about youth culture, is, I don’t understand it.
Veronica: It’s like I always say. When life gives you lemons, you sell some of your grandma’s jewelry, and go clubbing.
Archie: If I keep my body moving, and my mind occupied at all times, I will avoid falling into a bottomless pit of despair.
Cheryl: I totally hear you, but uh, I don’t like what you’re saying. So if you say no, I will start a fire in the bathroom.
Toni: I think we can agree that all wine tastes the same. And if you spend more than $5 on wine, you are very stupid.
Josie: No matter what I do, literally nothing bad can happen to me. I’m like a white male U.S. senator.
Reggie: Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets.
Kevin: He told me he liked me. And I’m going to go make out with him. Right now. On his face.
