His Perspective

A Different Point of View

[hisperspective]

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[hisperspective]

“THE EXACT MOMENT YOU KNOW THEY WILL NEVER CHANGE”

It’s never just about someone making the same mistake twice.

The real moment, the one that hits different, is when they’ve seen the full impact of their behavior, they’ve watched what it does to you, they’ve seen the pain in your eyes and they still choose defensiveness over accountability.

It’s when you’ve told them clearly what you need…

they’ve promised you change…

but their actions stay exactly the same.

It’s when the apology comes only to calm the conflict, not because they truly understand the hurt behind it.

It’s when your pain somehow becomes their victim story.

When it becomes, “You’re always criticizing me,” instead of, “I hear you… and I’m genuinely sorry.”

Real change takes real remorse.

Real change takes understanding the impact of your choices.

Real change takes consistency over time — not words, not moments, not temporary effort.

And when someone keeps showing you, over and over, that they’re unwilling or not ready to do that work…

You have to believe them.

Because you can’t love someone into accountability.

You can’t explain your way into being valued. You can’t carry both hearts by yourself.

At some point, you have to stop waiting, and start choosing yourself.

[hisperspective]

[hisperspective]

Careful who you trust your heart with, not everyone will love you the way they should!!

[hisperspective]

It's fascinating how people can expect so much from someone else but forget to hold themselves to those same standards. 🤷‍♂️🚫 Let's talk about the importance of recognizing warning signs in people and valuing actions over words. 🚦💡

Actions speak volumes about someone's true character, and we should always believe them when they show us who they are. 💯

In life, it's crucial to strike a balance between love and self-guardedness. Opening your heart to love is beautiful, but it also makes you vulnerable. 🛡️💔 Remember, vulnerability can be both a strength and a weakness, depending on how you wield it. 💪🙏

[hisperspective]

We do not come with manuals when we are born. We have no clues to what our future holds, and we have no idea what anyone else needs within themselves to be happy. This is what makes the journey to love so great! It has ups and downs like a roller coaster! But love can hurt and pain is real, but without pain we cannot grow. We are often told not to have expectations....we should not judge! This is true, however, we can make choices off of experience. That’s not a judgement on the person, just their actions. It you put your hand on a stove, even though it says it is off, and you get burnt, the how likely are you to put your hand on that stove in the future regardless of what the stove says? Well for some it takes scars before they realize the pain is too much to bare, for others it is just one time! I have my scars...we all do in some shape for or fashion, but it it’s the mind of an intelligent person to learn that scars are for life, they can damage you permanently, and in love that can lead to the possibility of never finding your true soulmate. You don’t have to look, they will just fall in your lap! What I mean by that is that you cannot go out looking to find a soulmate! It just happens. Enjoy life and be who God intends you to be! Love will find you all on its own, there’s no need to rush. Experience your life, grow, learn, develop into your greatness and you will find the greatest love in the world! -J.C.

[hisperspective]

The point of all things in life is to experience the moment, learn from it, and move forward!! Learn as much about life and your path as you can to become better tomorrow than you are today! Knowledge is power, knowledge is freedom from societal chains. Understand your path and challenge yourself daily to become who you desire to be and accept nothing less!!

[hisperspective]

When is Enough, Enough?

        When is enough, enough?  “Depends on the situation” is the correct response. However, it is not an answer!

We must first ask questions!

-    What is the situation costing us?

-    Is the situation temporary or permanent?

-    Can the situation be changed or fixed?

-    What alternatives do we have to a valid solution?

All questions of which are not dependent on emotions!

        We are often times, more than not, guided by emotional responses to situations.  Curiosity, excitement, awe, happiness, confusion, fear, anger, sadness, denial, gratitude, heightened awareness, and acceptance, all emotional responses, however, none of which incorporate logic and fact!  Regardless of a position, be it professional or personal, there are truly on two things which should consider when making a decision on any situation of life, Fact, and Logic.  If your choice is not based on the fact’s or logic of the given situation, then your decision builds on an emotional response, and regardless of position or opinion (as an opinion is typically based off of emotion and rarely an educated choice) would not validate the outcome. Some choice, however, can and do often calculate some form of emotion into the final result of a response based on life experiences to that individual. However, even then, it is limited to the experience of that person and the wisdom which life has given them.  

        Some do often times reach for religion, their faith, or the Bible, which I can totally agree with and understand as faith and religion will often guide us to feel as though we are being led by a higher power for real understanding and guidance. However, Revelation 22:18-19 states “I warn everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this book: if anyone adds to them, God will add to him the plagues described in this book, and if anyone takes away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God will take away his share in the tree of life and in the holy city, which are described in this book.” With the changes in the word being of constant change, development, and entirely dependent on the man, and not always followers of the original word intended for us to know, understand and follow. How are we to know who or what we are being led by and unto or into what are we being lead? All evidence of the scripture is described and defined by man, found and write by man, over and over again throughout the years of our history to define our path to righteousness by his “word.” Almost every church in the world profits off of the “Word” for growth and development to spread the word. But why so many religions? Why so many faiths? Is it not but one God we must all serve? That is just food for thought! Do not misunderstand my statements, I am not saying that I do not believe in a higher power because I do! I am not saying I do not believe in a God as I do! I just do not understand the writings or invalidated history of the writings of man 

        So to answer the question of validity, when is enough, enough? Enough is enough when the facts of any given situation create a logical explanation for the response, and emotions are not used to define reasoning within the reply. “Many things may produce an emotional response. Some are at the moment, others are from our past, and many people get destabilized worrying about the uncertain future. Still, other emotions may be a response to mere fantasies, lies we tell ourselves that make us needlessly unhappy. They may also be a result of misunderstandings. There is no end to the amount of feeling (both positive and negative) that flows through our lives on a daily basis; the trick is to learn how to differentiate between feelings that are born out of our imagination and those that are real and verifiable.” Creating this understanding is a necessity and of the utmost importance as we grow as human beings.  

Each is ultimately responsible for what they believe when considering when enough is enough! For some it will be when the heart has had enough, maybe the soul, or perhaps the mind, each of which carries its own form of misguidance. Ultimately we, regardless of choice, have to decide when enough is enough regardless of what we use to make our choice.

References

https://www.openbible.info/topics/false_preachers 

http://realityshifters.com/pages/articles/top12emotionalreactions.html

http://www.forbes.com/sites/walterpavlo/2013/11/18/fraud-thriving-in-u-s-churches-but-you-wouldnt-know-it/#46a88a266fea

http://www.religiousproductnews.com/articles/2005-October/Feature-Articles/Seven-Ways-to-Instantly-Increase-Church-Income.htm

http://bigthink.com/21st-century-spirituality/how-to-make-71-billion-a-year-tax-the-churches

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/emotional-fitness/201310/feelings-aren-t-facts

http://westsidetoastmasters.com/resources/laws_persuasion/chap14.html

[hisperspective]

The Cycle

We all grow as individuals daily, defining the character, attempting to perfect the image society teaches us that others should see, never truly discerning of what it is we wish ourselves to become. However, no matter our challenges or the obstacles we face, we grow daily.  No question the intelligence or wisdom we learn through every encounter, regardless of circumstance or position, we mature and grow in a forward motion.  Rarely is it questioned if this is the image for us moving forward or the image to satisfy what we believe society wishes to see.

A man ignored – is the same as a man left alone in solitary, confinement to his thoughts, without the consequences of society interfering. He, over time, adapts to and becomes comfortable being alone. He becomes an observer, an observer of knowledge if you will, of his surroundings. He learns and develops the art and meaning of humbleness. He begins to understand life from a different perspective, one of peace within himself. His heart becomes stronger on its own and no longer seeks the attention it once did from others, and his mind develops patients and begins to understand the value of time and how precious it is.  

Use caution when you distance yourself from someone and consider the reason for distance. That person, you want distance from, may have been blind in the past, and viewed themselves as the problem, as this is something society teaches, to place blame on others and not hold oneself accountable for their actions. The distance you created may have created the space needed for them to see who you have become. The real you hid under the disguise of what you believe society wishes you to be.

At this point, the cycle will start again. However, this time the process will start with you because the person you have created has developed beyond your understanding of their perception. In other words, they have outgrown you, they are now balanced, focused and have direction. Your inability to understanding why they have chosen to remain distant from you is your confusion, your own unbalance.  This defining factor proves your need for growth.