I am rotating him in my mind @hisuian-zoruas - Tumblr Blog

Guess I should make an intro post soooo

Hi! I'm Mickey, I'm 27, and I made this blog to talk (and maybe sometimes rant) about mental health and disability related stuff. I'm a leftist and I am pro self-diagnosis.

I have C-PTSD, schizoaffective disorder, generalized anxiety, AuDHD, chronic migraines, and maybe one or two others I'm forgetting. Idk, my memory can be pretty bad at times. I may or may not have HSD/EDS, chronic fatigue, and/or fibromyalgia, but I am in the process of possibly trying to get diagnosed.

Small warning, I may or may not talk about my childhood trauma as a result of multiple different kinds of abuse and/or assault. So, if you find that kind of stuff upsetting, I would recommend not looking at this blog.

This is a sideblog, so I may be a bit spotty with how much I post on here.

#intro post #mickey.txt

transsexualmago

most of the trans discourse on this site can be translated to someone telling other person their bullet wound is more infected than the other person's and that they are privileged over other infected bullet wound havers instead of going to the hospital, meanwhile, the person who shot them both walks free, isn't held accountable and keeps shooting people.

tboy-cock

are we ready to talk about the fact that trans men who are coerced/forced into detransitioning by a cis boyfriend/any gender partner are experiencing an act of abuse and violence and we shouldnt be making fun of and attacking trans men going through this and youre victim blaming when you do? or do we wanna blame trans men for their oppression and violence some more

auramgold

a lot of people assume psychosis hallucinations are super intense all-consuming horror movie shit like the memes about the hat man or always horrible debilitating things that make you dangerous to be around

but in my experience 95% of my hallucinations are getting spooked by very clearly hearing someone knocking on my door or calling my name from another room or hearing footsteps walking behind me which are "just" my brain recreating the horror of an abusive childhood

i *have* gotten the "bugs crawling all over me" hallucination once or twice though and yeah that one is exactly as terrible horrible as it sounds AUGH

auramgold

(not trying to put you on blast specifically, you're just a good example to jump off of)

media and pop culture hypes up psychosis a lot as The Worst That Can Happen out of sanism, so even when you try and filter that cultural bias out you still assume it's based on something

when, no, psychosis is actually very simple: it's just hyperactive pattern matching. it's your brain's signal-to-noise ratio being off balance, it's seeing images in random static. it's not always this special uniquely big thing, it's in fact quite mundane a lot of the time.

no one is immune to psychosis, it's not purely the realm of the insane. anyone is one bad night of sleep or one bad case of food poisoning or one bad fever away from being just like me on my worst days.

and this, indeed, is why solidarity with the insane is so important: you, yes you too, are just one bad day from joining us, and no perceptions of being a "temporarily embarrassed sane person" will save you from the oppression of the psychiatric institution.

taken-up-the-junction

Egg is exclusively a transfem term

That has literally never been the case lol the earliest noted use of the term “egg” online included the definition of “a trans person who doesn’t realise that they’re trans yet” and every single definition since has been the same.

Like a lot of trans terms, exclusionary groups on tumblr have tried to rewrite history by claiming that these terms were only used by, for or against trans women (such as T4T or the t-slur) when any trans person over the age of thirty can tell you first hand that this is a lie. Re-writing trans history in order to erase trans men from it is not transfeminist and does not help trans women. It simply kills trans men.

Trans men are not squatters in the trans community, we’ve been here just as long as everyone else, and every single term you think is transfem-exclusive has also been used by transmascs for longer than you’ve been alive.

cadaverer

most transmascs experience misogyny and sexism from the moment they're born. this is not an attack on people who are not transmasc. this is not saying people who aren't transmasc don't experience misogyny and sexism or experience them less. this is just a factor of being assigned female at birth in a sexist society. the fact that this is controversial is insane.

velvetvexations

It's always taken specifically as a denial of trans women experiencing sexism prior to transitioning, which is some real pissing on the poor shit. Pointing out transmasc being vulnerable to something is not saying anything about about anyone else except to binarists who cannot imagine a world that doesn't conform to cis standards, where someone absolutely must be the male oppressor and someone else must be the weak oppressed female in every dynamic.

tatdritt

”I hate trans men for being men, not for being trans!”

>pre transition, he was widely considered a woman

>if he remained “cis” he would be a woman

>trans men are men because they are trans

>trans men are trans because they are men

>if trans man was not trans, he would not be man

>if trans man was not man, he would not be trans

so yes, you do hate him for being trans actually. Because being trans is what made him a man. How is this hard to understand

genderkoolaid

When we talk about trans people and sex work, we don’t talk about trans men.

Hi! I wrote a medium article!

If you've been at all interested in what I've been posting about historical sex work and FTM crossdressing, that's what this is about. I go over three examples of this in ancient Greece, Renaissance Venice, and 19th-20th-century San Francisco, and talk a bit about my thoughts on how these stories tie in to transmasculine erasure (& specifically the erasure of gay transmasculinity).

genderkoolaid

Unfortunately only found out about this after publishing, but this is another example in the realm of "FTM crossdressing being seen as highly sexual and obscene" (w bonus intersexism and racism because all oppression is intertwined):

So I was rummaging through my books in storage in an attempt to get some inspiration for this week’s post. Serendipitously I came across t

The emergence of women cross-dressing really troubled the connection between clothing and sexual identity. For those Latin nerds out there, you probably notice something wrong right away with the term hic mulier: hic is the masculine form of “this,” while the noun it modifies is feminine, “mulier” or “woman.” The comment being made is that the female transvestite throws everything into chaos, including language. In the 1620 pamphlet, Hic Mulier, the writer constantly describes this figure as defying any categorization: the hic mulier is “not halfe man, halfe woman; halfe fish, halfe flesh; halfe beast, halfe Monster.” The pamphlet goes on to accuse the female transvestite of dressing more lasciviously: “From the other, you have taken the monstrousness of your deformitie in apparell, exchanging the modest attire of the comely Hood, Cawle, Coyfe, handsome Drsse and Kerchiefe, to the cloudy Ruffianly broad-brim’d Hatte, and wanton Feather, the modest upper parts of a concleaing straight gowne, to the loose, lascivious civill embracement of a French doublet. . . and extreme short wasted to give most easie way to every luxurious action.” In other words, yet confusing, the writer actually finds that in dressing like a man the hic mulier is exhibiting her lustful nature. The anonymous writer at one point insinuates that the female transvestite has traded sexual favors for her outfit and for having her hair cut short. Among being compared to a monster, “the untamed Moore, the naked Indian, and the wilde Irish,” the writer also suggests the hic mulier to be comparable to a prostitute. In Thomas Dekker and Thomas Middleton’s The Roaring Girl (1610), Moll Cutpurse, a character based on the real life female transvestite, Mary Firth, is often perceived by other characters as being sexually promiscuous. [...] The villainous father in the play, Sir Alexander, who is under the impression that his son wishes to marry Moll, thinks that she may be a [slur for intersex people]: “Hoyda! Breeches! What, will he marry a monster with two trinkets? What age is this? If the wife go in breeches, the man must wear long coats like a fool.” (Ii.ii.71-2)

genderkoolaid

I know I already posted this quote elsewhere but I wanted to place it in this context:

Unless they present hyperfeminine, butches don’t have access to the job market. You will not be considered if you don’t wear nice women’s clothes. If you set up catering, you will get told, “I am disgusted; a woman who thinks she’s a man is cooking for me.” So butch lesbians normally have an assistant, or their femme partner if they have one, who is more feminine-looking to run the front so customers don’t know a masculine-presenting person is cooking behind the curtains. Many of us become sex workers [due to lack of job opportunities].… But then when police raid brothels and homes, the masculine lesbians get treated “like men.” This means more forceful handcuffing, kneeling, and stripping their shirts off. [...] According to Rosa, police are “far more brutal” to masculine-presenting queer women, which is particularly dangerous given that their masculine-presentation is a large part of what originally forced many LBQ+ people into sex work. Thus, masculine-presenting queer women’s discrimination in employment may lead to police violence after being pushed into sex work.

— Rosa, lesbian and sex worker rights defender El Salvador, quoted by the Human Rights Watch

genderkoolaid

"The House of D [was] 500 feet from the Stonewall Inn," Ryan says. "On the first night of the riots, people incarcerated in the prison could actually see what was happening out their windows, and they started a riot all their own, setting fire to their belongings and throwing them down to the streets below while chanting 'Gay rights! Gay rights! Gay rights!' "By the '50s and '60s, Ryan estimates, "around 75% of the people incarcerated in the House of D are queer in some way." In the 1960s, the prison began marking gay prisoners with a "D" for "degenerate," and placing them into solitary confinement because they were considered a "danger to other women." […] The first waywardism laws in New York State start in the 1880s and they only apply to girls and women, originally ones who are arrested for prostitution and then expanded greatly in the late 1800s to women who might become prostitutes. And that's where they really get into danger, right? Because suddenly the charge of prostitution has nothing to do with sex work or exchanging sex for money. Instead, a wayward girl is anyone who was thought to be improperly feminine to the point where she has an invitation to prostitution. She's either too sexual or she's too masculine and unable to get any other kind of job. So of course she's going to end up being a prostitute.

This forgotten women's prison helped cement Greenwich Village's queer identity by Terry Gross

genderkoolaid

thing about misogyny no one talks about is that when "good" womanhood and femininity are defined around sexual chastity and purity, and when manhood and masculinity are associated with sexual desire and sexual action, being seen as a slut/whore crosses the line into gender nonconformity and the violence directed at such people has a lot of similarities with, and in many cases is inseparable from, anti-transmasculinity - specifically how the violence is justified by this idea that as a "fallen woman," one has forfeited one's claim to being something vulnerable which is owed protection from men in some way, even out of pity - you have forced yourself into the masculinized public world while failing to be a "real man," and so have made yourself deserving of violence from "real men." its the "well if you say you are a guy, then i get to beat you up" mindset. post with examples for those curious

i just think we should talk about this more. people find it really easy to talk about how failing masculinity moves one towards being seen as feminine, because women are the antithesis of men under patriarchy. but people are very reluctant to acknowledge the reverse, that failing femininity moves one towards masculinity, that men could be the antithesis of women. and ironically i feel like this reluctance stems from the very idea that "woman" is defined by lack, is just a negative reflection of manhood, that there isn't any complicated substance to the category and how it is socially constructed. "woman" and "female" are concepts that people put a LOT of work into making seem natural and inevitable, and that influences how certain forms of misogyny (like that which lead to anti-transmasculinity) are erased.

femmestory

everyone get hairier NOW !!!!!!!

transguyarchive

Some submissions to the Trans Guy Archive guestbook.

Every time I get an email notification that someone has left a little doodle or message, my heart grows about three sizes :,)

defectivegembrain

I'm going to *remembers how many times in my life I didn't tell anyone I was suicidal* you know, I'm not going to, but I honestly think even joking about it is better than never talking about it, and I think people who have dealt with such a difficult thing deserve to be able to joke about our own experiences without getting lectured about some knock-off CBT that's been ground up and shat out of the online pop psychology void, and also you know this format in itself is a suicide joke right it's just euphemistic

phleb0tomist

facts about myalgic encephalomyelitis (ME/CFS) to combat the disinformation campaigns going on:

what does the name mean? my = muscle. algic = pain. encephalo = brain. myel = spinal cord. itis = inflammation.

ME is classed by the WHO as a neurological disease. the Decode ME study found immune and neurological genetic markers in its analysis of 15,000 subjects.

ME is much more complex than fatigue. many experts and patients dislike the old name ‘chronic fatigue syndrome’ because fatigue is only one part of the condition, and it’s the least unique trait.

the most unique trait is post exertional malaise, where, 24-72 hours after any exertion outside the patient’s limits, there’s a peak of worsening and new symptoms affecting multiple bodily systems. PEM often involves immune activation, such as sore throat and a low fever, and a loss of muscle recovery after exertion, measurable through CPET testing. (normal muscle recovery takes 200 mins, but muscle recovery in ME takes days, with some patients taking longer than a year to recover from a single exertion.)

ME can range from mild to profoundly severe. these severity levels are only within the context of ME, not general illness; ‘mild’ ME is still a severe illness as it includes a 50% loss of functioning. ‘mild’ ME can feature debilitating pain and complex symptoms and can turn basic activities of daily living into a marathon.

severe ME is (naturally) even more physically limiting than mild ME. people with severe ME are largely bedbound and only rarely able to leave their room in a wheelchair, and usually can’t perform their own care tasks, needing help dressing, washing, and eating.

in very severe ME, the person may be unable to leave bed at all and may not be able to speak, swallow, roll over, sit up, read, or be exposed to light or noise, for years or decades.

ME has a measurably lower quality of life than any other illness studied, including cancer and stroke.

finally, many of us can attest that exertion can cause years of deterioration and loss of functioning in ME patients. ive been 95% bedbound for the last decade bc of ONE WEEKEND where i walked too much when i was 15. im 26 now. and ive known so many people who went through something similar. do with this info what you will.