i may be cringe

oc rp account, mun is 22 no minors pls

[hitchinnhikin]

Rancid water? Sun baking the planet? These things really didn't apply to out where she lived but she did know a place where they did.

"Wait, where have you been living all this time?" She asked. "I mean, you told me at first that you were just passing through but now that I know you've been hear for a year, where have you been?"

They arrived at the cabin and walked back inside. Mar peeked into the bathroom and sighed. She wasn't going to think about repairing that level of damage right now...

[irken-overlord]

ZIM scoffed at how forward she was being. "You needn't know the location of my base. But rest assured it's in a very strategic and brilliant location, near the heart of your human civilization." Well, one of the human civilizations. The settlement patterns of humans were unintuitive, but he was sure he chose a location with enough humans to weaken their defenses considerably when he, um, got around to it.

[hitchinnhikin]

"Ah, you've been living in the city. I see where you're coming from now." Mar said with an understanding nod. She had a complicated relationship with the nearby city. She had grown up there and loved parts of it but...it wasn't her home. In many ways, she felt like an alien there too.

"Urban people can be a little..." She paused for a bit. "I guess pretty disconnected. There's a definite cultural difference between rural folks and folks from the city. Not only that but the environment there is different too."

She stretched and yawned while checking the time. It was extremely late now, it was going to be rough waking up tomorrow. "How about you crash upstairs in the loft? I'll sleep down here on the couch." She said.

[hitchinnhikin]

"Well, first things first, I think the seasons." Mar said. "As a farmer seasons are very important to me and if you watch them as closely as I do, I bet you'll fall in love with at least one."

She glided her hand across the dewy grass as her breath fogged in the air. "Right now we're transitioning from winter to spring. The lambs have been born, the ground is almost ready to work. It's like the Earth is holding her breath and waiting.."

She spoke so dreamily about this dingy old planet that you would hardly guess that she spent most of her life at it's mercy. Toiling day after day through rain, sun, snow seemed to do the opposite of disenchant her in regards to nature.

[irken-overlord]

"Watch the seasons? What does that mean?" ZIM kicks the ground a little as he walks. "Waiting for what?"

"Believe it or not, I've been here a whole Earth year, and I've yet to fall in love with your seasons. Having rancid water fall from the sky, or an atmosphere so pathetically thin it lets your sun bake the planet is not my definition of 'a good thing.'"

[hitchinnhikin]

Rancid water? Sun baking the planet? These things really didn't apply to out where she lived but she did know a place where they did.

"Wait, where have you been living all this time?" She asked. "I mean, you told me at first that you were just passing through but now that I know you've been hear for a year, where have you been?"

They arrived at the cabin and walked back inside. Mar peeked into the bathroom and sighed. She wasn't going to think about repairing that level of damage right now...

[hitchinnhikin]

"Phew, you got that right." She sighed. "Well, will you come with me back to the house? Even though I tackled you?"

[irken-overlord]

ZIM didn't see the harm in it, but even so he had to give her a hard time.

"Still avoiding holding up your end of the deal," he chided, although his voice didn't hold any malice.

"You will tell me one thing that's useful about the Earth while we walk back. Then you can waste time sleeping," ZIM declared.

[hitchinnhikin]

"Well, first things first, I think the seasons." Mar said. "As a farmer seasons are very important to me and if you watch them as closely as I do, I bet you'll fall in love with at least one."

She glided her hand across the dewy grass as her breath fogged in the air. "Right now we're transitioning from winter to spring. The lambs have been born, the ground is almost ready to work. It's like the Earth is holding her breath and waiting.."

She spoke so dreamily about this dingy old planet that you would hardly guess that she spent most of her life at it's mercy. Toiling day after day through rain, sun, snow seemed to do the opposite of disenchant her in regards to nature.

[hitchinnhikin]

Mar sighed with relief before looking back at ZIM. "Alright..." She huffed, before offering her hand and helping him up. "I didn't squish you, did I? Are you hurt?"

As she did so, she stifled a gasp and looked down. In the blur of the chase, Mar didn't realize that she had ran through some kind of thorny brush. Her pant legs were torn and her skin was scratched up.

"Aw man..." She hissed. "I just got these.."

[irken-overlord]

"Of course not!" ZIM dusts himself off with a huff. "I've survived much worse than that!"

ZIM snickered, a high-pitched sound that seemed like it would grate on his vocal chords if he were human. "Pathetic human uniforms. Always so fragile."

[hitchinnhikin]

"Phew, you got that right." She sighed. "Well, will you come with me back to the house? Even though I tackled you?"

[hitchinnhikin]

Mar shot out from the bushes and pounced on ZIM. Panting and tired, she was able to pin him down in the freezing grass. "Wait!" She barked. "Just wait a second, alright? Please."

She caught her breath a bit before letting go of ZIM's wrists. She was surprisingly strong for a "pitiful human", in fact her farm weathered hands were like vices. She was heavy too.

"Listen..." She said. "I'm sure there's a lot of things about Earth that you don't understand." She climbed off of ZIM and sat on her knees which were now scrapped and bloody from tearing her way through the bushes.

"Before you annihilate us or take us as slaves or whatever you're planning to do, let me show you the thing that are *good* about Earth, ok?"

She looked into his reddish, bug-like eyes sternly but also almost pleading.

[irken-overlord]

ZIM was surprised as Mar jumped on top of him, momentarily stunned. It took a moment for awareness to return to him, and Mar narrowly avoided getting kicked by both of his small organic legs as she moved off of him.

As he listened to Mar’s plea, ZIM resisted the urge to recoil back from her intense gaze. He was tempted to refuse; he did not make alliances with humans… but it would be a misstep not to take free intel on what humans consider “good.” Maybe he’d even find something that could lower their defenses.

It’s not like he could easily leave. No. He wouldn’t think about that now.

“Hmmm….” ZIM made a show of thinking it over, and talked with a deliberately slow cadence. “I doubt there is anything of value the Earth can provide. Still… you are free to make your case.”

[hitchinnhikin]

Mar sighed with relief before looking back at ZIM. "Alright..." She huffed, before offering her hand and helping him up. "I didn't squish you, did I? Are you hurt?"

As she did so, she stifled a gasp and looked down. In the blur of the chase, Mar didn't realize that she had ran through some kind of thorny brush. Her pant legs were torn and her skin was scratched up.

"Aw man..." She hissed. "I just got these.."

[hitchinnhikin]

Mar's break was short lived as she heard the window shatter. She fumbled with the chair and the door before ditching it and tearing out the front door. She looked around before spotting ZIM racing down the path back out to the orchard.

She took off after him. She had no clue what to do when she caught him but she just couldn't let him reach the ship.

[irken-overlord]

ZIM didn't have time to think as he tore off towards the Voot. He didn't even let himself smirk as he passed small bits of jagged metal that promised he was closing in on it.

Then, he saw it. Really saw it for the first time, not clouded by pain or panic. The once perfectly acceptable glorious feat of IRKEN technology reduced to smoldering chunks. It would be a miracle if the engine was even salvageable.

Eyes wide, he forgot about the chase, and his pace slowed to a creep.

[hitchinnhikin]

Mar shot out from the bushes and pounced on ZIM. Panting and tired, she was able to pin him down in the freezing grass. "Wait!" She barked. "Just wait a second, alright? Please."

She caught her breath a bit before letting go of ZIM's wrists. She was surprisingly strong for a "pitiful human", in fact her farm weathered hands were like vices. She was heavy too.

"Listen..." She said. "I'm sure there's a lot of things about Earth that you don't understand." She climbed off of ZIM and sat on her knees which were now scrapped and bloody from tearing her way through the bushes.

"Before you annihilate us or take us as slaves or whatever you're planning to do, let me show you the thing that are *good* about Earth, ok?"

She looked into his reddish, bug-like eyes sternly but also almost pleading.

[hitchinnhikin]

Mar quickly ducks as ZIM launches over her. She quickly put space between the two of them as he landed in the bathroom with a loud clatter. She backed away with her wrench still at the ready.

She was about to make another move until she came to a realization. She grabbed the doorknob and slammed the door closed, trapping ZIM inside. She slid a kitchen chair over and jammed it under the knob. Her heart pounded in her chest as she began to slowly her breathing. This would hold him off.

But what the hell should she do now!?

[irken-overlord]

ZIM jumped at the sound of the door slamming and fumbled more with the window. This time, he really did need to use his weapons. He retracted his top right PAK leg, refitting it with a laser gun inside the PAK. It reemerged and charged up. ZIM held both of his arms across his face as he loudly blasted the glass window, shattering it twelve inches from his face.

Not wasting another moment, he scrambled out.

[hitchinnhikin]

Mar's break was short lived as she heard the window shatter. She fumbled with the chair and the door before ditching it and tearing out the front door. She looked around before spotting ZIM racing down the path back out to the orchard.

She took off after him. She had no clue what to do when she caught him but she just couldn't let him reach the ship.

[hitchinnhikin]

"You just admitted that you're going to destroy my planet." She said as she slowly continued to approach ZIM, gripping the wrench tightly. "This is my home and I can't let you do that without a fight."

She could see him gesturing to the door. She couldn't let him leave. Who knows what he had planned once he got his ship fixed.

[irken-overlord]

ZIM put up his arms in a placating motion and bared his teeth, trying to think up a way out of this. He couldn’t turn his back on her like a coward and run towards the door—he was a mighty IRKEN INVADER!

But, maybe… He spots the bathroom window and very suddenly retracts his PAK legs. He LEAPS, intending to soar above the shoulder opposite of where Mar was holding the wrench, to claw at the closed window. It was a very dignified tactical maneuver.

[hitchinnhikin]

Mar quickly ducks as ZIM launches over her. She quickly put space between the two of them as he landed in the bathroom with a loud clatter. She backed away with her wrench still at the ready.

She was about to make another move until she came to a realization. She grabbed the doorknob and slammed the door closed, trapping ZIM inside. She slid a kitchen chair over and jammed it under the knob. Her heart pounded in her chest as she began to slowly her breathing. This would hold him off.

But what the hell should she do now!?

[hitchinnhikin]

Mar backed away quickly, bumping into the sink as ZIM began to pound his fists on the door. "Ohmygodohmygodohmygod..." Mar whispered to herself, clutching her hair. As if it wasn't insane enough that an alien crashed onto her farm, he's also some kind of invader!? And she let him into her house!?!

"Ok..." She huffed. "Okokok...what do I do?" She began to frantically look around for some way to escape or at least hide. She grew more and more panicked until finally she looked at herself in the mirror and...realized something.

She was 5'3. Small for a human but towering over that alien. She was nearly 200 pounds. She wakes up and does hard labor all day, everyday. Compared to ZIM, she was huge.

She took a breath and reached under the kitchen sink and grabbed a wrench before facing the door. She twisted the handle and stood back.

[irken-overlord]

ZIM growled and backed away from the closed door, gearing up twin blasters in his PAK. He intended to blow the doorknob off, but by the time Mar opened the door, the blasters were just barely peaking out of his PAK where his top two spider legs would normally be.

He quickly slid them back in and grinned; a momentary feeling of victory overcame him.

“Finally! You’ve seen the error of your ways- ah.” And then he spotted the wrench.

His smile became strained. Curiously, he found himself backing away without any conscious thought. He could take Mar—he’s faced bigger foes, both during his elite military training and in the field—so why was he backing away?

“So about that whole ‘helping me’ business: it turns out I don’t need help at all,” he gave a strained laugh, trying to play all of this off casually. “After all, ‘I am ZIM’ you know? I’m just gonna-“ He gestured towards the door.

[hitchinnhikin]

"You just admitted that you're going to destroy my planet." She said as she slowly continued to approach ZIM, gripping the wrench tightly. "This is my home and I can't let you do that without a fight."

She could see him gesturing to the door. She couldn't let him leave. Who knows what he had planned once he got his ship fixed.

[hitchinnhikin]

Her eyes narrowed as she slowly stood up and put distance between her and the alien. She was debating as to whether she should look for something to defend herself with or not.

This changed everything.

She obviously couldn't help him with fixing his ship but now was unsure how he would react if she refused. Would he force her? Would he be willing to *kill* to keep this secret?

She stood quiet and still for a while, just staring at ZIM. Suddenly she made a break for it and dashed into the bathroom. She slammed the door and locked it.

[irken-overlord]

ZIM growled in frustration. Humans! Why must they cower in fear whenever it isn't helpful for him?

After Mar slams the door, he belatedly chases her down. He slams against the wood door with both fists. "We made a deal! Does that mean nothing to you??"

Why won't she just help her future overlord?

[hitchinnhikin]

Mar backed away quickly, bumping into the sink as ZIM began to pound his fists on the door. "Ohmygodohmygodohmygod..." Mar whispered to herself, clutching her hair. As if it wasn't insane enough that an alien crashed onto her farm, he's also some kind of invader!? And she let him into her house!?!

"Ok..." She huffed. "Okokok...what do I do?" She began to frantically look around for some way to escape or at least hide. She grew more and more panicked until finally she looked at herself in the mirror and...realized something.

She was 5'3. Small for a human but towering over that alien. She was nearly 200 pounds. She wakes up and does hard labor all day, everyday. Compared to ZIM, she was huge.

She took a breath and reached under the kitchen sink and grabbed a wrench before facing the door. She twisted the handle and stood back.

[hitchinnhikin]

Mar let put a small sigh. He was right, she did make a deal to help him and she wasn't to type to back out on a promi-

"Excuse me?" She asked.

[irken-overlord]

ZIM reeled back. Oh, he messed up.

He awkwardly chuckled, "Ehh... Ignore that whole 'ensuring your planet's doom thing' that was, uh..."

He paused. He had gotten out of these close calls with other humans, he just had to think.

"What I meant to say was, it is time for you to assist me in ensuring that your planet is safe and covered innn snacks and honey, yes, snacks and honey." He gave an award-losing smile.

[hitchinnhikin]

Her eyes narrowed as she slowly stood up and put distance between her and the alien. She was debating as to whether she should look for something to defend herself with or not.

This changed everything.

She obviously couldn't help him with fixing his ship but now was unsure how he would react if she refused. Would he force her? Would he be willing to *kill* to keep this secret?

She stood quiet and still for a while, just staring at ZIM. Suddenly she made a break for it and dashed into the bathroom. She slammed the door and locked it.

[hitchinnhikin]

Mar yawns before hearing ZIM's request. "Now? It's so late." She said. "And cold." She opened the door and they entered the now much warmer house.

"How about we eat a bit more then we'll get some rest and start tomorrow." She said as she put her coat and boots away. "Go ahead, take of your boots and get some sleep. You must be exhausted from today."

She wasn't sure if ZIM's species had been stamina than humans but she can't imagine anyone still having energy after what ZIM went through today.

[irken-overlord]

“Nonsense!” ZIM exclaimed. The warmth of the house hit him briefly before his PAK adjusted and regulated his body temperature, the same as it ever was.

Humans were pitiful, fragile creatures. They gave in to every base whim, like 'resting,' and taught all their bad habits to his robot. They were so unlike an Irken- or ZIM’s idealized image of an Irken. An Irken should be unparalleled in their stamina and uncompromising in their goals.

Yes, ZIM would not become complacent, and he would not be bested on this planet. He could take whatever this planet throws at him and be just the same as he always was—forever.

He ignored Mar’s suggestion of relaxing. “You just ate! I upheld my end of the agreement and fed your lambs DESPITE their repulsive nature. It’s time for you to assist me and ensure your planet’s doom!”

He really just kept talking.

[hitchinnhikin]

Mar let put a small sigh. He was right, she did make a deal to help him and she wasn't to type to back out on a promi-

"Excuse me?" She asked.

[hitchinnhikin]

"Well, it's sort of complicated." Mar said. "They aren't exactly companions in the way a pet dog or cat would be." She paused for a moment.

"Wait, do you know what cats and dogs are?" She asked. The lambs finished the bottles before teetering sleepily back to their spot under the heat lamp.

"Anyway, the females are kept to produce milk and cheese. The males however are normally culled for meat." She said as she started leading ZIM out of the barn and back to the house.

[irken-overlord]

"Of course I know what cats and dogs are!" He's quick to defend what little he actually knows about this planet.

ZIM mulls that over and hums approvingly. "So not useless like cats and dogs."

"So, now that you're done feeding the lambs," He starts, hurrying his steps to be in front of her, "We can begin rebuilding my ship, yes?" He doesn't wait for a response as he begins thinking aloud, "We'll have to survey the damage and come up with a game plan."

[hitchinnhikin]

Mar yawns before hearing ZIM's request. "Now? It's so late." She said. "And cold." She opened the door and they entered the now much warmer house.

"How about we eat a bit more then we'll get some rest and start tomorrow." She said as she put her coat and boots away. "Go ahead, take of your boots and get some sleep. You must be exhausted from today."

She wasn't sure if ZIM's species had been stamina than humans but she can't imagine anyone still having energy after what ZIM went through today.

[hitchinnhikin]

Mar jumped with surprise at the sudden noise. She stifled a laugh after seeing ZIM's reaction before picking the bottle he dropped and handing it back to him. It was ironic hearing him going on about "superior beings" one moment before being scared to death by harmless little lambs the next.

"All you have to do is stick the nipple through the fence and let them latch." She chuckled before giving an example. She stuck both bottles through the fence and two of the lambs hurried over and began to suckle, their little tails whipping back and forth with joy.

The other two watched their siblings being fed and pressed their faces to the fence to stare impatiently at ZIM. Their nostrils flared as the snorted and bleeted for the bottle.

"Go ahead, they won't bite." Mar reassured.

[irken-overlord]

ZIM hesitated with a repulsed look on his face. To his credit, he approached anyway and offered both bottles to the lambs. He held them firmly with his arms fully outstretched.

"Eurgh." He winced as they latched on.

"And these lamb beasts? Which are they? Food or... companion?" He spat out the word as if it offended him. Surely, humans couldn't take creatures like this as companions. A moose he could understand, but this? What use could creatures like this possibly have??

[hitchinnhikin]

"Well, it's sort of complicated." Mar said. "They aren't exactly companions in the way a pet dog or cat would be." She paused for a moment.

"Wait, do you know what cats and dogs are?" She asked. The lambs finished the bottles before teetering sleepily back to their spot under the heat lamp.

"Anyway, the females are kept to produce milk and cheese. The males however are normally culled for meat." She said as she started leading ZIM out of the barn and back to the house.

[hitchinnhikin]

Mar cringed as ZIM mentioned the dissection of animals but shook it off quickly. "Well, I wouldn't consider the animals of our planet useless considering all the give to us humans." She said, as they reached the barn. "They give us food, maintain the health of our planet and can even be companions..!" She pulled open the giant rattling barn doors and guided ZIM into the pitch black barn.

The cold air filled with the smell of animal musk and manure and the sounds of ruminants bleeting softly. She turned on a light to reveal the hay covered dirt floor and stables to house the animals.

"They're over here in this pen." She walked over to the back of the barn where a heat lamp shined on four little black and white lambs that slept together in a pile. As soon as one heard them, they all shot up and hurried towards them, excited for dinner.

[irken-overlord]

ZIM snickered at Mar's assertion that animals make good companions. Humans and their need for companionship. Truly, he was fortunate that that disgusting trait had been bred out of his species eons ago.

His snickering was cut short with a gag. What was that smell? How did she not notice the den of filth she had just walked into??

"Understood," he replied, following a few paces behind Mar into the barn. He audibly gasped when the lambs turned to look at them and SCREAMED as they ran over, dropping one of the bottles into the muck.

[hitchinnhikin]

Mar jumped with surprise at the sudden noise. She stifled a laugh after seeing ZIM's reaction before picking the bottle he dropped and handing it back to him. It was ironic hearing him going on about "superior beings" one moment before being scared to death by harmless little lambs the next.

"All you have to do is stick the nipple through the fence and let them latch." She chuckled before giving an example. She stuck both bottles through the fence and two of the lambs hurried over and began to suckle, their little tails whipping back and forth with joy.

The other two watched their siblings being fed and pressed their faces to the fence to stare impatiently at ZIM. Their nostrils flared as the snorted and bleeted for the bottle.

"Go ahead, they won't bite." Mar reassured.

[hitchinnhikin]

Mar smiled while opening the door and slipping her boots on. She held open the door for ZIM before they began to make their way down the gravel path to the barn.

Mar looked up at the night sky as they walked, watching as her breath turned to vapor. "So how much experience do you have with animals?" She asked. "Do they have animals where you're...from?"

[irken-overlord]

"I have extensive experience taking apart your human animals." He even added features before putting them back together, most of the time.

ZIM studied Mar before answering, debating how much he should reveal. "Of course not. Inferior lifeforms drain a planet's resources. It's a testament to this planet's incompetence that its dominant species lets useless creatures survive."

[hitchinnhikin]

Mar cringed as ZIM mentioned the dissection of animals but shook it off quickly. "Well, I wouldn't consider the animals of our planet useless considering all the give to us humans." She said, as they reached the barn. "They give us food, maintain the health of our planet and can even be companions..!" She pulled open the giant rattling barn doors and guided ZIM into the pitch black barn.

The cold air filled with the smell of animal musk and manure and the sounds of ruminants bleeting softly. She turned on a light to reveal the hay covered dirt floor and stables to house the animals.

"They're over here in this pen." She walked over to the back of the barn where a heat lamp shined on four little black and white lambs that slept together in a pile. As soon as one heard them, they all shot up and hurried towards them, excited for dinner.

[nyquilhabibi]

gir we are so fucked