“When Can I See You”
when I post on my snap story and you view it
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@hoesand40s
“When Can I See You”
when I post on my snap story and you view it
Landlords in 2006:
“$500 rent, $250 deposit. You got a job? Cool, here’s the keys.”
Landlords in 2016:
“$850 first, $850 last, $850 deposit… don’t ask questions. This is a deal.”
Landlords in 2026:
“Alright so boom —
• 3x the rent (before taxes, after taxes, spiritually too)
• $2500 first month
• $2500 last month
• $2500 deposit (non-refundable if we vibe check you wrong)
• 680 credit score minimum… but we prefer 750+
• No pets. (Yes for $100monthly a pet)No kids. No candles. No smoking. No vaping. No breathing. No existing.
• $85 application fee (we will ghost you btw)
• $300 late fee if your payment blinks at 12:01
• 6 references, 4 pay stubs, your horoscope chart
• Background check, foreground check, side quest check
• Fee for utilities.
Apartment:
550 sq ft (including the emotional damage)
Carpet seen 3 recessions
Fridge hums like it’s fighting demons
Stove got a lean like it’s tired too
Listing says: ✨“Luxury living”✨
😭 I’m dying to Move!! But it’s so Expensive to do so. I’m working on it tho.
let’s just watch movies in just our underwear and kiss a lot
SANCTUARY 2022 | dir. Zachary Wigon
Matt Bailey
Let’s role play tonight. I'm thinking crackhead tryna suck dick for a dime bag🤣😂
It's my 14 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳
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