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@holdens-baseball-mitt
Me realizing I never made an intro post!! Uh... better late than never am I right
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Hii!! My name is Ollie or Holden!! (I have a slight preference for Holden rn but either is fine!!)
He/It pronouns please!! (But anything that isn't she/her I will tolerate)
I'm a classic lit nerd đ„đ„đ„
In my mind you ARE holden Caulfield, this is his blog, this is him I'm texting this to right now.
Maybe it is. Not like I'd tell you or anything. Boy, that's one thing I hateâit's people being nosy about your life. Especially people who don't even know you, like who you just met on the goddamn street or something. It's even worse when they think they recognize you from somewhere. Really, it is. They think they know you from twenty goddamn years ago when they were in high school or somethingâand they keep asking you all these weird personal questions to try and figure out if you're the person they know. Or, hell, sometimes they just walk right up to you and call you the wrong name. They'll come right up to you and go "hey, Old Robbie, long time no see, how ya been old pal," and it's embarassing as hell when they realize you aren't Robbie or whoever. It reminds me of this one time I was walking with Ackley and all, and someone walked up to him and started talking to him, and they thought his name was James or something, and he just started playing along. He was acting like they were long lost childhood friends or something. That killed me. This other guy had no ideaâI guess he couldn't have been that good of friends with James if he doesn't even remember his goddamn face. What a goddamn phony. If anyone ever comes up to you and they have to ask if it's you, I swear to God, they were never your friend to begin with. If anyone does that to me, I'll walk away. I swear to God I will.
Debating how Holden Caulfield would feel about South Park right now because I am so normal
Anyway for anyone who actually wants the conclusion I came to:
Also he'd hate Cartman and call him phony I think
He probably wouldn't like it?? He'd be upset that none of the kids have a shred of innocence left in them and keep swearing and having terrible things happen to them. He'd also hate all the parents for being the most incompetent terrible neglectful assholes ever to exist. But if they weren't all such young kids I feel like he might like Stan/sorta get where he's coming from most of the time?? I can see a world where he might sort of enjoy it but he'd never fully get into it because they all sorta talk like him
This is pretending the episode making fun of him doesnt exist btw
Attempting to convince my mom to let me dye my hair red because of a fictional character by saying I'll drive to the store pay for the dye clean it up and I won't get upset if it looks bad
Wish me luck
i just Saw your Holden design and i love it
THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! He is very special to me :]
I don't think I ever showed you guys my current Holden design actually so here he is
Ignore Hamlet he's just there
Caulfield Siblings as things my siblings have said because hell yeah why not
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Phoebe: "Alexa, play Golden from Kpopâ"
DB: "Alexa, shut up."
Phoebe: "No :("
Alexa: "Playing Golden from Kpop Deâ"
DB: "ALEXA, SHUT THE FUCK UP."
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Phoebe: "Whatcha doin?"
DB: "Writing."
Phoebe: "Can I readâ"
DB: "NO"
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Phoebe: "Holden can I have money for Roblox?"
Holden: "Why are you even playing Roblox? It's against Mom and Dad's rules...?"
Phoebe: "I don't give a darn. Can I please borrow your credit card?"
Holden: "I don't even have a credit card."
Phoebe: "But you have a driver's license... if you have that, you're old enough for a credit card."
Holden: "Not how that works."
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Phoebe: "Holden?"
Holden: "Yeah?"
Phoebe: "Am I autistic?"
Holden: "Phoebe, all four of us are autistic. You're the only one who hasn't been diagnosed."
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Holden: "PHOEBE CAULFIELD, WHY ARE THERE ROCKS IN YOUR COAT POCKETS?!"
Phoebe: "I WAS SAVING THEM!"
Holden: "FOR WHAT?!"
Phoebe: "TO BUILD A HOUSE."
I've been debating this for a long time but what would Holden's favorite Disney movie be
I vote Oliver and Company because he'd like the found family thing and the kid would totally remind him of Phoebe and Allie at least a little bit but you guys discuss amongst yourselves
RIP Holden Caulfield you would have loved making rant videos on YouTube and calling everyone in the comments who disagrees with you "phony"
Modern Tom Buchanan would NOT own a cybertruck or do crypto, he's old money, Gatsby would be your cybertruck and crypto guy instead, fight me
SOMEONE HAS TO DO THE TWINS AT THE CAROUSEL TREND THING WITH HOLDEN AND ALLIE I BEG
It is unfortunately not gonna be me because I'm still preparing for artfight and I got some last minute shit to do but ONE OF YOU PLEASE
RIP Holden Caulfield you would have hated early Youtube cartoons that pose as stuff for children (Smile HD, Happy Tree Friends, Don't Hug Me I'm Scared, etc.) and you would have been devastated when Phoebe not only saw them but liked them and thought they were cool
Gonna ask my favorite teacher ever in the whole world to sign my copy of Catcher in the Rye. Wish me luck
I'm so fucking scared I can't breathe holy shit help me
I'm gonna fucking cry I love her so much
Gonna ask my favorite teacher ever in the whole world to sign my copy of Catcher in the Rye. Wish me luck
I'm so fucking scared I can't breathe holy shit help me
Gonna ask my favorite teacher ever in the whole world to sign my copy of Catcher in the Rye. Wish me luck
ONE OF THE SCHOOL COUNSELORS JUST OUTED ME AS TRANS TO MY CREATIVE WRITING TEACHER WHO DIDN'T KNOW đ
fuck my life man
The counselor walked in and went "isn't this the class Oliver is in?"
And my teacher was like "...no??"
And the counselor saw me and was like "MRS. [teacher]!!! You were baiting me Oliver IS in this class!!!" (And pointed to me)
And my teacher was like "...wdym that's [deadname]... I call them [deadname]"
And then the counselor was like "Oliver do you just give everyone a different name or something. What"
ONE OF THE SCHOOL COUNSELORS JUST OUTED ME AS TRANS TO MY CREATIVE WRITING TEACHER WHO DIDN'T KNOW đ
fuck my life man