A Referendum on the Meaning of Life. What could possibly go wrong...
Hello there, my name is Holly. I am a human person with brown hair and greenish eyes. I have a lovely fiancĆ© and two cats. Welcome to my new blog. Bloggy, blog, blog. You can see this is going well. Iāve never actually written a personal blog before, only ever for work purposes and that was always really easy as it was one about a specific sport or tournament. And I was getting paid to do it and usually had an incredibly tight deadline. But now Iām going to try and write one for your (my?) enjoyment at least once a week.
Given my amazing intro so far, you might wonder what on earth has prompted me to even attempt to put pen to paper (or keyboard strokes to screen as I believe is the 20th century terminology*). Itās basically all due to an early mid-life crisis. Well, hopefully itās an early one and I have more than my 31 years ahead of me. After six fantastic years working at the Tennis Foundation and living in South West London, Iāve decided to give it all up.
But enough about that, plenty of time to go into all that in the coming weeks and months. After sitting here (where?) for an inappropriately long time, I think Iāve come to the conclusion that my first blog should really deal with some of the bigger things going on in the world at the moment. Iām not sure I can compete with some of the intelligent and engaging articles that have been written about Brexit or Trump or societyās overall plunge off a cliff so Iām going to tackle something a bit easier. The meaning of life. Because if I, Holly A** Hamilton, who went to a comprehensive school*** on the side of a bit of a hill in South Wales and still struggles to tell her left from her right, canāt figure the meaning of life out, then who the hell can?
With an AS level (half an A level for those still dealing in old money) in Psychology and a degree in History and Politics I am actually pretty well trained for this task. In fact, I donāt know why I havenāt applied myself to figuring this out earlier. Apologies human race, Iāve been too busy following furry yellow balls around the world and trying to interpret the language of Meow that Pablo and Coco**** insist on using in the house. Ā Ā
But Iām not so egotistical that I wonāt take on board public opinion on this matter and I think if we as a nation have proved anything recently, itās our ability to sensibly weigh up the pros and cons and make an informed decision about the big issues.
So in order to keep my first blog shorter than a full autobiography, you can vote on the suggestions below as to what you genuinely believe the meaning of life is.Ā
Sex is pretty much all humans think about, isnāt it? What could be better than people having more and more sex, producing more and more tiny people and then spreading out over every godforsaken corner of the planet Earth until there is literally no more room. Then we can just start going all badger and possum on them and cull their behinds. Ā
B) We have already been invaded by aliens
Think Stephanie Meyerās The Host (donāt forget to read all four Twilight books while you are researching the plot line for this one). Humans are just puppets having their strings pulled by glistening little Souls already living in our brains. But itās okay because they are much more peaceful and sane than us so itās most probably in our own interests to let them take over.
I mean, how on earth can there be meaning to slugs, Nesquik*****, the colour gamboge (think a dark, yellowy mustard), Tom the Rio 2016 Paralympic mascot (look him up - he was created by āan explosion of happinessā) or Donald Trumpās hair?
D) To be kind to one another and protect our planet
No sarcastic description here. In my naive little mind I really hope that this is true and that weāve just lost our way. To be kind, caring and loving. To get the best out of each other and encourage, compliment and support everyone who embodies these qualities. To give people that warm fuzzy feeling when you smile at them. And to always be able to experience the natural beauty that can be found all around the world, to protect it and the crazy and wonderful animals that we share it with. Ā
Hollyās First Blog: The Chronicles
I really enjoyed the BBC documentary from earlier this year, New Zealand: Earthās Mythical Islands, mainly because Iām a sucker for penguins and sweeping panoramic shots in HD. However, Iāve also been enjoying that at the end of each episode they introduced a segment called The Chronicles, which is a bit of a behind the scenes look at filming parts of the programme. So to sign off each blog, Iām going to do the same (in no way infringing their copyright) and give you a snippet from what took place while tapping away churning out these gems on my 20th Century keyboard.
As this inaugural blog took longer than expected it invariably included copious toilet breaks, which I always like to double up with a trip to the kitchen to get a cold glass of squash to keep me hydrated. But as my procrastination increased, I was drinking ever quicker and thus making myself need a trip to the toilet more frequently. As these always meant returning with a new drink soon I found I was barely able to go five minutes without getting up to powder my nose and top up my glass. The only way to stop this vicious cycle was to put the glass down and indulge in an episode of Series 4 of Suits, my current guilty pleasure thanks to the wonder that is Netflix.
So there you have it. I hope you have been able to extract a scrap of enjoyment from my bloggy blog blog and if not, at least you have been able to picture me wandering back and forth and back and forth to the bathroom. Tune in next time when we announce the results from the 2016 Meaning of Life Referendum and Iāll reveal a little bit more about just why Iām jacking it all in.
P.S. Iāll be attempting to add some colour and bring to life my blog via my Instagram account so make sure you follow me: www.instagram.com/hollyh44Ā Ā
*Yes, I meant 20thĀ Century. Tip of finger to touch screen is probably more 21stĀ Century but I struggle to write any length of prose via that method.
** The A stands for Alexandra but thatās not actually my middle name. I wasnāt given one by my parents at birth and having keenly felt this loss I created my own when one of my personal heroes, Cobra from Gladiators, came to my school to promote Natwest bank accounts and I assumed a new identity there and then. In hindsight I should have chosen one beginning with āRā and then I could have enjoyed a life as HRH. Oh, the naivety of youth! Ā
*** It was actually a pretty good school at the time and produced lots of well-adjusted youths who have gone out into the big, bad world and made a name for themselves. Shout out to Mr Adams and Miss Surtees, who made sixth form bearable, and our legendary form tutor Mr Swain who led a pretty tricky 7 South all the way through to Year 11.
**** They will inevitably have an entire blog devoted to them at some stage (I know this will split my friends in terms of interest levels) but as a quick introduction Pabs and Cokes are the two apples of my eye, who are in charge of my life and parade around in the form of small Big Cats and have taken to waking us up at dawn by trampling all over our faces demanding food.
***** I am in no way sponsored by Nesquik or Nestle, this particular item just popped into my head to emphasize the randomness of life. However, if anyone would like to sponsor my blog by donating free items or luxury hotel stays, for example, please donāt hesitate to get in touch.
****** Apologies for so many damn footnotes. Itās like a footnote invasion has taken over my blog. And the little blighters have infiltrated our childrenās minds. And stolen all our jobs. The next Referendum might have to be a vote on whether to leave footnotes out altogether. Ā
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