#extradirty
titsay
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
roma★
Mike Driver
Show & Tell
tannertan36
Three Goblin Art
Stranger Things
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
One Nice Bug Per Day
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Not today Justin
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
Claire Keane
i don't do bad sauce passes
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d e v o n
tumblr dot com
Cosimo Galluzzi
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@hootmathafacka-blog
Brother: *running around in the house pretending to shoot lasers using my pet cat*
Me: IF YOU DON’T STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING I’M GONNA KICK YOUR BALLS HARD ENOUGH TO MAKE YOU RETHINK OF ALL THE THINGS YOU HAD DONE AND WILL MAKE YOU ASK FOR SATAN’S HELP TO GET ME TO STOP!!!!!
Brother: *stop and look at my direction, slowly put the cat down with arms raised in surrender* i’m so sorry little Satan.
Friend: *giving me advice on how to get a lovelife*
Me:* counting up in the sky*
Friend: Hey are you even listening?
Me: Yes, you see? i’m counting the fucks i will give.
Friend: now hold up, how many will you give to me in this conversation we had?
Me: None, because you scared them away.
Friend: ...............
Me: ..................
Friend: I’m sorry.
Friend: Hey, do you even have time to even think about having a love--
Me:*Shoving the phone in dem face with the browser open showing pictures of my ships* PRIORITIES!!! I HAVE MY DAMN PRIORITIES!!.
Friend: *sighing*Why are you even my friend?
Me: Exactly.
Me: *thinking of posting something*
Brother: *Barge inside my room holding my pet cat up* Hakuna Matata Mathafacka!
Me: let me guess? marathon of Lion King?
Brother:*quickly put down the cat then goes to slowly close the door* i regret nothing.
Friend: I really think you should stop posting on the internet.
Me: I really think you should stop breathing in real life
Friend: I’m just concerned about what other people think about you.
Me: You should be concerned about what i’m about to do to you right now.
Friend: ............
Me: ..............
Friend: i really like your post just now, i’ll invite some to like it also later.
Little brother: *throwing tantrums because i’m singing in the bathroom*
Me:”AAnddddd IIIIIiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Willlll allwayssss hattteee youuuu wooowoooohh”
Friend: *rampaging about the his neighbor who wont stop blasting metal on the phone*
Me: chill dude, at least you don’t have a neighbor who open their window like a god damn maniac in a commercial of air freshener in 4 am in the morning to let out their ever lasting scent of their shit and regrets.
Me: *singing while trying to do homework*
Brother: Hey! Will you shut the f up?
Me: *next song plays F you by Lilly Allen* perfect.
Friend: How are ya?
Me: GASSpp!
Friend: ........
Me: Who are you?!
Friend: Exactly.
Me: *typing shit on the laptop*
Friend:*peeking at what i’m doing* you know, you really need some help.
Me: the only help i need is for you to bring me a glass of fucks to give right now.
Friend: Damn son, i can’t catch some fucks today, they’re really getting rare.
Me: exactly.
Friend: How was your love life?
Me:*breaths in slowly* the galaxy is a vast place where a certain black hole can be found just near the milky way galaxy and it is said to be that black holes are stars that died and turn out to be more dense and dangerous that anything and--
Friend: *walks slowly backing ass up and in a safe distance* chill,dude, i’m asking about your love life,not your life story.
Me: BOI
Me: *scrolling down on my dashboard*
Brain: STOP! YOU’VE BEEN DOING THAT FOR SIX HOURS NOW AND I CAN’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!
Me:* stops for a second then continued scrolling*
Brain: Oh for fucks sake.
Me: *walks in and sat down on one of the chairs inside the library*
Friend: *see me reading a book* hey what are you doing here?
Me:*looked up with confusion*
Friend: what?
Me:*stopped myself hard for being sarcastic as shit* reading,you?
Friend: *sigh* i thought you’ll say something sarcastic but that’s a nice change.
Me: i almost but boi *points*
Me: i want to do something useful!
Body: NO
Brain:NO
Dog:NO
Neighbor:NO
Passerby:NO
Satan: Oh for fucks sake NO.
Me: *goes to order to a certain fast food chain* can i get a large drink and a burger please. Cashier: what drink do you want?Coke,Pepsi or Ice tea?
Me: can i have it Bleach flavored?
Cashier: I’m sorry but we are not serving that kind of flavor. and please refrain from joking. Me: Do i look like i’m freaking joking about my drink?
Cashier: .......
Me: ........
Cashier: What brand do you want?Clorox or Ajax? Me:*hands money and tip* I want a mix,thanks.
The times where everything seems to be in total jeopardy but then you insert someone in that then it becomes a total bullshit mix of you-want-nothing-to-do-with and nightmare. yes nightmare. and a lot of screaming.
Mom: *insert a random insults and shit that make you feel you are a total cannot*
Me: *internally screaming* this is fine