The Husband List: 12 Non-Negotiables
1. He is a practicing believer.
âDo not be yoked together with an unbelieverâŠFor what agreement is there between the temple of God and idols?â 2 Corinthians 6:14-16. Issues and conflict are bound to rise in marriage, so it is crucial that there is a common foundation on which to hold the marriage accountable. The last thing you want to be fighting about is your faith, whether or not to pray and your viewpoints on religion. Believe me, Iâve been there before. It is exhausting.
2. God is the center of his life.
He seeks Godâs wisdom in all the decisions he makes.
âWith wisdom are riches and honor, enduring wealth and prosperity. My fruit is better than fine gold; what I yield surpasses choice silver.â Proverbs 8:18-19
3. He has integrity and does not put himself in tempting situations.
He guards you against harm and protects the relationship. âKeep to a path far from evil, do not go near the door of that house, lest you give your best strength to others.â Proverbs 5:8-9
4. Seeks mentorship and counsel.
It is important that your man is wise in realizing he canât carry the weight of the world on his shoulders. When he is surrounded by men who are older than him who can offer advice, prayer and mentorship, he can be a better husband to you. âThe way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice.â Proverbs 12:15
There is peace in knowing your man holds an even temperament even when he is provoked. A man who allows his feelings, emotions and anger to determine his actions typically has tarnished relationships and is not a healthy place for you or a family. âA hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel.â Proverbs 15:18
6. He holds strong conviction on the sacredness of fidelity.
A man is wise when he understand that infidelity and looking for pleasure outside of the marriage only brings strife. God actually calls him to rejoice over you all of his days. âMay your fountain be blessed and may you rejoice in the wife of your youthâŠMay you be ever captivated by her love. Why be captivated, my son, by an adulteress?â Proverbs 5:18-20.
7. He is honorable of your heart and emotional well-being.
I hated when a guy I was dating exposed my embarrassing moments or the private matters of our relationship with his friends. Picking on you may seem cute and funny at first, but it will get old after a while. You should feel honored and safe knowing you can always trust your husband to cover and speak well of you. âLet them be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers,â Proverbs 5:17.
âLove each other deeply because love covers all wrongs.â 1 Peter 4:8.
8. He is disciplined in living a life of integrity.
Watch how he handles temptation or sticky situations that test his character. Does he choose to do whatâs right even when no one is watching? It is imperative to observe these things because it will indicate if you can trust his decision making. When youâre married, almost all of his decisions impact you. âHe will die for lack of discipline, led astray by his own great folly.â Proverbs 5:23
âA little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest- and poverty will come upon you like a thief and scarcity like an armed man.â Proverbs 6:10-11.
10. He pursues and loves you passionately.
The man you marry should make you feel loved like youâve never felt before. Safe, accepted, desired, nurtured, protected and comforted. Jesus loves us deeply, he loves us so fiercely, that he willingly gave up his life to save us.
Pursues: âSo Jacob worked seven years to pay for Rachel. But his love for her was so strong that it seemed to him but a few days.â Genesis 29:20.
Loves: âHusbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.â Ephesians 5:25.
I know women who feel guilty or wrong for desiring romance in their relationship, as if they donât deserve it. But God desires for your heart to be romanced, just as He longs to romance us. âLet him kiss me with the kisses of his mouthâ for your love is more delightful than wine.â Song of Solomon 1:2
âPlace me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame.â Song of Solomon 8:6.
12. He is humble and can admit when he is wrong.
There is nothing worse than a petty conflict blowing out of proportion because your partner refuses to admit they were wrong. Taking responsibility for his actions and apologizing for his mistakes is the sign of a real man. âPride comes before destruction, and an arrogant spirit before a fall.â Proverbs 16:18
No person will be perfect and grace is a beautiful thing that makes relationships flourish. That being said, this list for single ladies is to give a basic framework of character traits to look for or recognize whether or not there is desire for growth. Of course, use common sense when someone amazing walks in to your life but wasnât exactly what you dreamed up. God surprises us, but always gives us what we need.
âFor I feel a divine jealousy for you, since I betrothed you to one husbandâŠâ 2 Corinthians 11:2.
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