[hopless-romantics-diary]

I really tried. The harder I fought to hold onto you, the further you slipped away from me. I really wanted you, but you didn't even look at me.

you didn’t notice

[hopless-romantics-diary]

I dance around at parties, I pose for photos, I post everything online, just so I could see your name on the views. How do I tell you that I only want your attention?

Do you even notice me?

[hopless-romantics-diary]

I remember the moment I heard you move on. My skin grew cold and my eyes dulled. I would look at photos of you and think, it's impossible. She doesn't touch your dark hair like I did, she doesn't sleep on your bed after nights out. That's when I realised – I don't either. I wanted out of your life and you found someone else. I'm your past and she's your now.

Replaceable 

[hopless-romantics-diary]

It wasn't your fault, and I think that's why I can't hate for it. You peeled off my clothes and I felt you sink into every piece of me. You lay your hands on my body, yet you didn't want to hold my heart. I told you that this was what I wanted; no strings, no feelings. I wasn't just lying to you, but I lied to myself. I thought that this could be different – I could be different. Now, I feel dirty while you only felt pleasure. I feel used when this was mutual. How could I hate you for something that was my fault?

friends with benefits always fails

[hopless-romantics-diary]

i am still so in love with you. but being with you has made me forget who i am. i can’t keep doing this.

[hopless-romantics-diary]

i think the hardest love to get over would be the unexpected, naive ones; the ones that linger longer than needed. i don’t miss you, but i miss chasing you. i miss the unrequited nature and the late night thoughts. when would it be our time? it never was.

[hopless-romantics-diary]

i feel guilty for loving him when i once had you. will he ever compare to you?

[hopless-romantics-diary]

i think about you and wonder if this pain was worth the love i once felt. it wasn’t.

[hopless-romantics-diary]

i forgive the world because it gave me you.

[hopless-romantics-diary]

i couldn’t quite place this feeling. it was new, not like my naive schoolgirl crushes or one time flings. it wasn’t fireworks or skittish laughter, but boiling in my stomach and a warmth in my chest. in that moment, i knew the difference.

— the difference between love and in love

[hopless-romantics-diary]

all i have left of you are my unsent text messages.

[hopless-romantics-diary]

i just can’t accept the fact that we became strangers again.

— what was the point?

[hopless-romantics-diary]

it breaks my heart that you’re lingering on my mind longer than you’ve been in my life.

— remembering

[hopless-romantics-diary]

the difference between me and her was that she just settled for you, but i picked you.

— know the difference

[hopless-romantics-diary]

i look for expiration dates. i’m unbothered with short flings and endless talking stages, because deep down, i’m terrified i’ll get too close. i’m terrified i’ll get too attached, and there’s nothing that hurts more than saying goodbye.

[hopless-romantics-diary]

i know you’re not suppose to be in my life forever, but i wish you stayed here a little longer. i wish for more time.

— right person, wrong time

[hopless-romantics-diary]

i think the worst pain is knowing it’s going to end before it’s going to end. it’s already started — the miss calls, the excuses, the boredom. really, i thought we would last longer than this, but we just keep pulling away.