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@howtheredrobot-blog
Dear _how,Which is worse? Treating women like objects, or treating objects like women?- Eternally Curious
Robots are objects, and Robots are the most efficient creatures on this planet. Any woman treated like a robot-like object should be filled with suns of honor.
How are you?
No. _How I am.
Mindless human.
This is the arch nemesis. Bob. His advice is bad. His breath is bad. He has no cool.
If you meet Bob on the street, I advise that you turn and clomp in the direction opposite.
This is my advice.
Be at least twelve volcano widths from Bob at all moments of time.
Dear How (or as I call you, Voltron),I have been wondering for some time....how much wood could a wood chuck chuck, if a woodchuck would Chuck Norris?Faithfully,A Sexy Carbon Based Life Form
First, I must inform you that the words "sexy carbon based life form" are oxymoronic. Sexy goes with Robot only.
Also, the answer to your question is: None. Chuck Norris would chuck that woodchuck into the woods with his numchucks and chuckle.
And then he would be eaten by a Robot.
That is all.
Oatmeal
Oatmeal is power fuel for Robots. Much fiber. Plus it resembles brains.
Ask How #1
Dear How,
I'd like to have a robot of my own, but my girlfriend isn't too thrilled about the idea. How do I convince her that a robot can be a great addition to a happy home?
- Robotless Robert
Dear Robert,
Top Number, humans don't 'have' Robots. Robots have humans.
Second Number, your girlfriend is probably insane.
Third Number, watch out when you get a robot. Your girlfriend might leave you for him.
Last Number, go by Bob - Robert is too much like "Robot" for a human.
Love,
How the Red Robot
Not so sure about this robot. It has man parts.
errorzombie:
Short Curcuit.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE INANIMATE OBJECT?
My favorite inanimate object is the laser beam, forcing its way through the air, in the .459 seconds between its quittal of my eyes and its arrival at my object of destruction.
To the Masses
How the Red Robot will be sharing his How with the populace.
Send your questions about car care or life advice to [email protected] and I will answer them for all.
An example question may be: "Should I wear my red pants on a second date?"
How's answer: "Red is power. If you can handle the power, wear red shoes, a red shirt, and a red hat. With all of that red and all of that power, pants will one day be rendered unnecessary, as they are for me."
That is all.
_________________________
NOTE: Volcanoes of thanks to the minions at CarWoo! who have agreed to answer my emails.
Every Robot has a theme song. This is My theme song. It plays in the ears of women and children alike when I leave my lair.
I am How the Red Robot. I am also taller than you. Don't mess with How the Red.
