How to Be a Poet in Today's Society

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so much depends

upon

a pretentious asshole

layered with obscure

meaning

go fuck yourself.

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Smoke cigarettes. LOTS of cigarettes.

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Write in

haiquas

because haikus are

obviously below you.

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If someone criticizes your work, call it stream of consciousness. 

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The more obscure the meaning, the better it is.

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Don't write sonnets. It's obvious that rhyming is stupid.

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Persona poems are not overdone. At all.

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Get a tumblr.

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Get tattoos referencing books you've never read/finished.

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If you don't like Ginsburg, you should just stop.

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Listen to Bon Iver.

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Become an alcoholic; all the best poets are.

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Write about your ex. Everyone will pity you!

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Hate on America.

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Write an open letter to your parents because you're sooooo original.

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Write about hitchhiking, but shun Kerouac.

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Sex and concrete images go together. Always.