Humanity Sucks @humanitysucks - Tumblr Blog

kayliesteinfeld:

“I’d love if you two tagged along, so would she,” she said motioning towards Amber. She turned to take the frying down from the storage space under the island and placed it on the grill. “This should only take a couple of minutes…”

Amber looked at Nerle’s hands, then his face and then back to his hands. She copied what he was doing (with the wrong fingers, nonetheless) and grinned. “Like this?” she asked, holding up two chubby fists. “What’s next?”

The doll nodded. “Then I’ll see you this summer for swimming lessons. You have to promise not to laugh at me. At least not very loudly.” He smiled, then turned back to Amber, eager to taste the omelette.

“Close enough,” he chuckled, holding his own hands across from hers. “I tap you with one of my fingers.” Nerle moved one hand forward to gently tap on her right outstretched finger. “And now you put out a second finger because one plus one is too. Now it’s your turn to tap my fingers.”

#convo kaylie

kayliesteinfeld:

“You should come with us,” Kaylie suggested, looking up at him. “The more the merrier. Plus, she might find it a little bit easier with two of us.” She cracked several eggs into a bowl and, as she leaned against the counter, she mixed.

“Maybe… taking a break from being from being his doctor would be good? It’s great that he has you but putting a divide between your family and your health can help,” she said, shrugging. “It might help him see you as his family rather than his doctor?”

The little girl had quietly been listening to her mother and uncle while munching on strawberries. “Sticks?” Amber asked, her mouth full. “What’s that, uncle Nerley?”

“I’ll see if I can tag along and not make a fool of myself, or ruin my wonderful hair.” He flipped a few strands over his shoulder, laughing. “Zeven should learn how to swim and I think he’d do better in a kids’ class than with adults. Maybe I’ll drag him along.”

He nodded slowly. Her words were true. Separating the two might be a good idea, at least for a little while. “I’ll work on it. That might take some time though, but I’ll look around for someone who’s not me to help him.” He hated the idea of being apart. The entire reason for his degree was his creator.

“Well,” he said, turning to Amber, “you hold your hands out like this.” The doll lifted his arms, hands in fists with only the pointer finger out. “Then you tap each other. Whatever number of fingers you get hit with, that’s how many new ones you have to add. Once you have a whole hand, you’re out.”

#convo kaylie

kayliesteinfeld:

“Really?” she asked, her head popping out from behind the fridge doors. She carried all the ingredients, kicking the fridge door shut gently. “I used to go swimming with my mom - God, she loved to swim. She was really good at it too. She used to leave me with the instructor and do laps. Sometimes she’d join me, sometimes,” she said quietly.

She grabbed a knife from the stand beside the toaster and began to chop the onion. “I think his mom will help. I haven’t met her, but she sounds lovely.” There was a pause.” Maybe… some therapy might help? Getting advice from someone he doesn’t know could be beneficial.”

She waved him away before returning to finely cutting the onion. “You cleaned Miss Messy up for me, you deserve a rest.”

“Is that me, Mama?” Amber asked, her blue eyes wide.

“Yes it is, Am. You definitely get the messiness from your fa- aunts. From your aunties. Lilah especially.”

“Honestly, I don’t think I ever actually learned to swim in classes. Water and me didn’t get along for years outside of being thrown in a washing machine. Chlorine didn’t seem like a good idea with stuffing.” He blinked, wondering if he had actually heard her tone shift or he’d been imagining it.

“His mother is a therapist. She actually helped me a lot through school so many talking to her is doing double duty. Getting him to see someone regularly might help. So far, all he’s got is the medicine and I’m the one prescribing that.” He knew what sort of pills Zeven needed and it was easy enough to write the documents.

“Thank you.” Turning, he smiled to Amber. “Do you know how to play sticks? It’s fun.”

#convo kaylie

kayliesteinfeld:

“Do they? I was thinking of starting too, for fitness reasons, so maybe we could go together! What do you think, Am?” Amber simply nodded her head, taking the piece of strawberry off the plate Kaylie had slid across the counter.

“I won’t, don’t worry,” she replied, holding up her pinky finger in promise. “Hopefully he’s okay. Has he spoken to his parents about it? Have you? They might be able to calm him down before something happens.” Parents were good at things like that, weren’t they? If it was Amber in Zeven’s situation, she’d want her daughter to come to her.

“One omelette coming your way!” she saluted before making her way to the fridge. “I think so. Do you eat veggies too?” she asked, her body hid behind the open doors of the double fridge. “I have tomatoes, kale, red and white onion, peppers…”

“Mommy and me swim classes. That actually sounds like a good way to get parents and kids exercising. You have no idea how many mental illnesses can be helped with regular exercise. Not cured, but exercise has been shown to help sometimes.”

“Thanks,” he replied, popping a strawberry slice into his own mouth. “I talked to his father a few days ago. He’s a business man so was giving me advice on real estate and how to sell. I heard Zeven on the phone yesterday talking to his mother but he shooed me out so I have no idea what they were talking about.” He really hoped that the eventual talk wasn’t going to be violent.

“Onions would be great, if you don’t mind,” he replied, “how can I help? I feel lazy just standing here watching you make food.”

#convo kaylie

kayliesteinfeld:

The little girl shrugged. “Mama, am I?” she asked, looking back her mother. “Swimming is fun! I wanna, please?” Kaylie let out a small laugh, looking at the small girl as she pouted. “Sure. I’ll make sure to look at lessons.”

The kitchen was finally returning to normal (although she didn’t know how she was going to get the egg stain off the roof… Paint, maybe?). “He hasn’t said… anything, on the topic?” she said, raising a perfectly plucked eyebrow. “That’s not like him.” She opened the door of the fridge, taking out the fruit she’d bought yesterday in the store. “I know he’s attached to that place but a fresh start is always better. Take that from someone who’s life is, essentially, one fresh start.”

She began cutting up the strawberries, placing them onto a plate with some raspberries and blueberries. It was almost lunch and Amber needed food. “I can put on something for you, if you want? I can make a mean omelette.”

“I think they have lessons at the college,” Nerle offered. It was, of course, still a long way from summer. He hoped it wouldn’t be too cold for too much longer. The chill always made his fingers gone numb when walking outside.

Nerle nodded, leaning against the counter beside Amber. “I’m hoping this isn’t the proverbial calm before the storm. The house can’t be too damaged if we’re going to sell it. Don’t tell him I said that. He’d probably destroy the place to make it un-sell-able.” He shook his head. At some point, the bakery was going to go and on that day, in private, he would drink a truly heroic amount in celebration.

“I would be honored to have some of your omelette,” he teased. “Do you have any ham?”

#convo kaylie

kayliesteinfeld:

“Yep!” Amber exclaimed. “They live in the water. Mama said I can’t go visit the mermaids because I can’t swim yet. Next year I can!” The thought of visiting the pretty mermaids in their water kingdom was something she had wanted to do after seeing them. Kaylie wasn’t going to blame The Little Mermaid for the idea, but she had seen it more times than anyone could ever need. Still, at least it wasn’t Frozen.

Kaylie nodded her head. “It’s probably best that we’re here and not in New York. They’d be able to see her much more. I wouldn’t want that,” she explained. The press was horrifying enough for her, but for a child? She couldn’t imagine how scary it must be. It was probably why people like Blake Lively had kept her children out of the limelight for so long. Kaylie was a little bit jealous.

“How’s work going? And is there any news on the bakery?” she asked. “I haven’t heard anything about it in a while.”

The imagination and excitement of children was something Nerle envied about them and those who never lost their inner child. He wanted it back but couldn’t quite remember a time when he’d ever had it. “Are you going to take swimming lessons this summer?” he asked, debating learning himself. It seemed like a good skill to have.

The doll nodded. “That’s probably for the best. How big celebrities deal with all of that is beyond me.” For someone who preferred solitude and quiet, the life of a celebrity was nothing short of mild hell. “It’s going alright,” he replied, “I’m looking for a buyer for the bakery. Zeven has been mostly quiet about his thoughts which is a bit worrying.”

#convo kaylie

kayliesteinfeld:

Kaylie grabbed the broom once again, sweeping the remains of the girls’ baking adventure off the floor. Amber kicked her legs, her little head bobbing as she spoke to her uncle. “A mermaid? Mama showed me the mermaids in the lake. They’re pretty and they have scales on their faces, like Mama had in her magazine! I wanna be like that!” the little girl exclaimed.

“I forgot you spoke Serbian. You can insult me in that… Although, I might be able to use Google translate to catch you out,” she laughed, motioning to her phone. “It’s the only way I’ve found to try and understand her little curses. They’re cute, yes, but I don’t need her kicked out of kindergarten for cursing. What will the tabloids ever make of me?”

“Keep going the way you are and you’ll be just like your mother,” Nerle chuckled, wiping off the last of the ‘cooking’ from Amber’s face. Her clothes were still dirty but those could be dealt with later. “There are mermaids in the lake? Huh, I’ll have to start looking for them rather than just sitting by the water and reading.”

“Google translate, the bane of my existence,” he laughed, shaking his head. “ Probably the same thing they do to everyone they get hold of: go wild for two days, then find someone else to ruin, lather rinse repeat. You never know who can understand what you say in another language.”

#convo kaylie

kayliesteinfeld:

“I think I might just throw it out, or a buy a new one. It didn’t cost much, don’t worry,” she replied. Amber was captivated on what Nerle was saying. “So they are small frogs? Like me! Ribbit!” she exclaimed. “I can swim too! Grandma brought me to school for it! She says I’m a pretty mermaid like mama!”

“Maybe,” Kaylie grinned. “Maybe you should brush up on your French skills to understand what I said.”

“Whatever you want,” the doll shrugged, tossing the used paper towel into the nearest trashcan. He grabbed another, wetting it so he could work on Amber’s face. “Something like that,” he chuckled, “Do you like swimming? Perhaps you can be a mermaid for Halloween.”

“Serbian is hard enough. I don’t think I can handle more than one other language.”

#convo kaylie

kayliesteinfeld:

“I am the goddess of beauty and cake batter, apparently,” she laughed as she washed the batter off her white shirt. She’d probably have to throw it out, what a pity. She’d only bought it, too.

“No! What’s that?” she asked, her inquisitive little face making her look just like Kaylie. They had the same features, just twenty years in the difference. “Oh shut up,” Kaylie grinned. “I’m learning, but it’s easier to learn a language when you’re younger. Isn’t that right, Am? L'oncle Nerle n'est-il pas étonnant?”

“Oui!” the little girl replied.

“If you want help with the batter, I can take it home and work on it.” One of the perks of living with a designer was the sheer amount of fabric care knowledge picked up second hand.

“A tadpole is a baby frog,” he explained, “but they don’t look like adult frogs. They have no front or back legs and have a long tail they use to swim around while they grow up. Also, they can only live in water whereas frogs can be on land or underwater.”

He gave Kaylie a confused look. “Okay, the only word I got out of that was ‘yes’. Should I be insulted?”

#convo kaylie #ignore words

kayliesteinfeld:

“I like painting. Mama doesn’t let me do the mix-y thingy when we are baking. I just wanna have curly hair like mama,” she sighed, her shoulders dropping. Kaylie held back a laugh, trying not to encourage the little girl. She picked up a chocolate covered wooden spoon and plopped in into the sink, turning the hot water on.

“I’m a part-time model, part-time domestic goddess, Nerle. Of course my life is hard,” Kaylie replied with a grin. “You did. I wanted to frame it but my stepmom took it to have on her fridge for a bit. Amber made her Grandma into a frog.”

“Yep!” Amber exclaimed. “Aunty Lil said that Pops would kiss Grandma and she would become booti-fuller. But Pops is dead now, so Grandma’s a frog… a booti-ful frog.” Kaylie sighed. “Of course aunt Lilah said that. She also taught you how to curse in German, so now I don’t know what you’re saying.”

“When you’re older, your mother or me can show you how to get curly hair without using things in the kitchen. It’s not too hard and you’ll look very pretty.” With her arms done, Nerle moved down to cleaning Amber’s legs, taking one in his hands at a time.

“People to animals must be one of the miracles of childhood,” he laughed. “Ah yes, we must worship at the feet of the goddess. You’ll have to excuse me. I left my prayer stick at home.” He gave Kaylie a cheeky grin.

“I’m sure she’s a lovely frog. Amphibians have their own sort of beauty to them. Have you ever seen a tadpole?” He turned to Kaylie, wanting to place his head in his hands if they hadn’t been otherwise occupied. “Should I have gotten you a German to English dictionary for Christmas?”

#convo kaylie

kayliesteinfeld:

“Mmhm!” the little girl exclaimed, her blonde ponytails bobbing as she nodded her head. “Mama and I bake for Grandma when she brings me for ice cream. Mama and I bake for school! Abby’s daddy cooked cookies for Lara’s birthday. I like her daddy, he’s a nice daddy,” she said with a smile.

“My personal trainer said that if I ate sweets after new years, I wouldn’t fit into my new Dior gown. That scared me straight,” Kaylie laughed as she pulled a broom from the corner and began to sweep. “I think it has something to do with your name?”

“Timmy has a doggy called Pearly. That’s like your name! Nerley!”

Nerle set to work cleaning off the chlld’s arms first, wiping away the flour and egg that covered them. “Sounds like you’ve gotten a lot of practice. Which do you like better, baking or painting?” He enjoyed talking to children and sometimes thought about specializing in child psychiatry, but it could get so sad so fast.

“Horror upon horror,” the doll teased, “The life of a model is so hard. My name?” Okay, the dog was the problem, or this kid Timmy for naming it. Shaking his head, he chuckled. “Well that clears everything up. I hope I made a cute dog in that picture though.”

#convo kaylie

kayliesteinfeld:

Amber hadn’t noticed Nerle when he had walked in (clearly she was too preoccupied with her painting) but when he picked her up, her look of intence concentration turned into a toothy grin. “Uncle Nerley! Mama and me are baking! See?” She motioned to the kitchen which looked like a tornado had wrecked havoc through it. The hand-mixer was still spinning, there were small hand-prints made of chocolate batter on the fridge and somehow, somehow, Kaylie’s brand new Gucci watch was sitting on top of the toaster.

“I feel like we have all the sweets in the world in this house after Christmas. My new years resolution was not to eat any, so help yourself,” she replied, a small grin creeping up. “I’ll make sure to keep one for you next time. She painted one last week of her family, it’s rather adorable. Zeven is an angel floating in the sky and you are a… what was uncle Nerley again, Am?”

“A puppy!”

“Ah yes, a puppy.”

Nerle followed Amber’s motions, staring around the mess that had once been a functional kitchen, completely unfazed by a single thing. Finally, his eyes landed on a roll of paper towels that had somehow made it out of the damage zone. Setting Amber on a small section of clean counter space, he set to work getting a section of paper towel wet so he could clean her off. “I can see that,” he chuckled, “do you like helping your mother bake?”

“I think I will,” he laughed, “I tried to keep off of sugar but it’s not working too well. Maybe I’ll just have one thing a day and keep moving. It’s good spring doesn’t have too many sweets associated with it.” He nodded along with the description of the picture, smiling at the idea of his ‘creator’ as an angel then-

“A puppy? Why?”

#convo kaylie

kayliesteinfeld:

A chef’s hat was placed lopsidedly on her head as she opened the front door, the breeze outside blowing some of the flour from her hair. “Thank god you’re here!” she exclaimed as she retreated back into the large marble kitchen. “I’m so sorry for calling you so quickly, I just need someone to watch her while - Amber Steinfeld!”

The small little girl had decided to make a mosaic made out of eggs and icing on her mother’s precious wooden floor. She was up to her elbows in the mess, a contented smile on her face as she ‘painted’… until she released she was in trouble. “Oops!”

Kaylie signed and put a hand to her forehead. “We tried to make a cake for you guys but I think our Amber is going to be a painter, not a baker, when she grows up.”

This was the week of Nerle’s vacation. Rather than taking Christmas, which neither he nor Zeven were very religious about, he had decided the first week of the year would be better. Day two, and he was a babysitter. Not that he minded at all.

He couldn’t help but chuckle at the sight of the girl ‘painting’. Walking forward, he picked the messy child up. “I’m more used to this than you’d think. With Zeven if the house, attempts at baking usually end up similar to this.” Turning to the girl, he smiled. “Let’s get you cleaned up before your mother has a conniption.”

His head titled back to Kaylie. “It’s the thought. If you want to bake, I’m all for sweets. Any paintings she does with real paint will be proudly displayed on the refrigerator.”