Huening Kai x Reader: don’t leave me like this
Pairing: Huening Kai (TXT) x Female Reader Word Count: ~1,450
Warnings:
• Heavy angst
• Graphic depiction of suicide attempt / self-harm (cutting wrists, blood)
• Severe online & public hate / harassment
• Emotional isolation, self-worth issues
• Panic attacks, screaming, intense emotional breakdown
• Blood / injury detail
• Please read at your own risk. This is very dark and heavy.
Synopsis: After you and Kai go public with your relationship, you’re hit with overwhelming hate from fans and strangers alike—both online and in real life. As Kai grows distant, you begin to believe you deserve the cruelty. Broken and alone in the TXT dorm, you attempt to end it all. Soobin and Yeonjun find you first, triggering Kai’s world-shattering panic as he fights to save you.
The announcement had been a quiet one—at least, that’s what you and Kai had hoped. A soft post on his private account, a single photo of your intertwined hands against a sunset backdrop, with the caption: She makes every day feel like music. For a moment, the world seemed to hold its breath.
Then it shattered.
The hate came like a tidal wave. Comments flooded every platform: She’s using him. Gold digger. Ugly. Talentless. She doesn’t deserve to breathe the same air as Kai. Dispatch articles twisted old photos. Netizens dug up your past, painting you as a curse on TXT. “Protect Huening Kai” trended endlessly.
It didn’t stay online.
Strangers recognized you in public—shoving, spitting, screaming insults until you ran. Bruises bloomed on your arms. A rock smashed the dorm window one night with a note: Die, bitch. You stopped leaving. You stopped eating. You stopped everything except pretending to be strong.
For Kai.
But Kai had grown distant. Late practices turned into silent nights. His eyes avoided yours. He scrolled through the hate when he thought you weren’t looking, jaw clenched, saying nothing. The space between you felt like a canyon.
Maybe they’re right, the voice whispered. You’re ruining him. You deserve this.
You couldn’t take it anymore. The shared TXT dorm was quiet—most of the boys were supposed to be out or in their rooms. You slipped into the bathroom attached to the room you secretly shared with Kai, the faint scent of his cologne only making the pain sharper.
The light burned your eyes. Your reflection was a ghost—hollow, broken, eyes dead. Hands shaking violently, you grabbed the razor from the cabinet.
End it. No more pain. No more being the reason he’s suffering.
Tears poured down your face as you slashed deep—once, twice—across both wrists. The pain was white-hot, blood exploding from the cuts in thick, pulsing streams. It sprayed across the sink, splattered the mirror, pooled on the tiles with sickening wet sounds. You sank to your knees, vision blurring fast, the razor slipping from your blood-slick fingers.
Kai… I’m sorry. I love you. I was never enough.
Darkness tugged at the edges of your mind. Your body slumped sideways against the tub, blood spreading in a horrifying crimson lake beneath you.
Soobin and Yeonjun had come back early from a schedule, laughing about something stupid until they stepped into the dorm hallway. A strange metallic smell hit them.
“…Is that—?” Yeonjun froze.
A faint drip. Drip. Drip.
They rushed toward the bathroom door—slightly ajar.
Soobin pushed it open.
The sight slammed into them like a nightmare.
You. Collapsed on the floor in a massive pool of your own blood. Wrists gaping open, skin ghostly white, eyes barely open and unfocused. Blood everywhere—on the walls, the mirror, soaking your clothes, still pumping weakly from the deep gashes.
“OH MY GOD— YN?!” Soobin’s scream tore through the dorm, raw and panicked. He dropped to his knees at the doorway, frozen in horror, hands hovering uselessly.
Yeonjun stumbled back, eyes wide with shock. “FUCK! KAI! KAI, GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW! IT’S YN— SHE’S— OH SHIT, SHE’S BLEEDING OUT!”
Their screams echoed through the dorm like gunshots.
Kai bolted from his room down the hall, heart exploding in his chest. “What?! What happened?!”
He shoved past them and froze in the doorway.
The world imploded.
“NO— NOOO! YN!!” Kai’s scream was guttural, animalistic, ripped straight from his soul. He shoved through the doorway, slipping in the blood as he crashed to his knees beside you. “Baby— no, no, no, please God no—!”
His hands shook uncontrollably as he grabbed your wrists, pressing down with all his strength. Blood squirted between his fingers, hot and sticky, coating his arms up to the elbows. “Stay with me! Stay awake! Please— I’m here, I’m right here!”
He whipped his head toward the doorway where Soobin and Yeonjun stood frozen in pure shock, faces pale, mouths open, unable to move.
“CALL 911! NOW!” Kai roared, voice cracking with pure terror. “SOOBIN! YEONJUN! CALL THE FUCKING AMBULANCE RIGHT NOW! DON’T JUST STAND THERE— HELP ME!”
Soobin fumbled for his phone, hands trembling so badly he dropped it once before dialing, voice breaking as he gave the address.
Yeonjun stayed rooted in the doorway, whispering “Holy shit… holy shit…” over and over, eyes glued to the bloodbath.
Kai rocked you desperately into his lap, cradling your head against his chest, blood smearing across his shirt, his neck, his face. Tears streamed down his cheeks in floods as he pressed his forehead to yours. “Why?! Why would you do this?! I can’t lose you— you’re my everything! My music, my heart, my reason to breathe! I was stupid, I let the hate get in my head, I pushed you away— but I never believed it! I love you more than life itself! Don’t you dare leave me like this! Fight, baby, please fight!”
His sobs turned into broken, choking wails. “I’m sorry— I’m so fucking sorry I made you feel alone! You don’t deserve any of it! Stay with me— I need you! Please don’t go… I can’t do this without you!”
Sirens wailed closer. Kai kept screaming at the boys to grab towels, to help stop the bleeding, his voice hoarse and desperate while they stood paralyzed in the doorway, faces streaked with tears, the entire dorm reeking of blood and terror.
He never let you go. Not for a second.
In the hospital, Kai refused to leave your side, blood still drying on his clothes, eyes swollen and haunted. When you finally woke, weak and disoriented, his hand gripped yours like a lifeline.
“I’m never letting you feel that way again,” he whispered fiercely, voice raw. “We face it together. The hate, the world—everything. I love you. Stay. Please… just stay.”
The road was brutal. Scars. Therapy. Endless battles. But in his desperate, trembling arms, the suffocating isolation finally began to crack.
Love—raw, violent, unbreakable—refused to let you go.
Tags: #hueningkai #hueningkaiangst #txtfanfic #kai x reader #heavyangst #suicideattempt #twselfharm #idolxreader #kpopfanfiction
