@hyunebunx - Tumblr Blog

. . . . . ◟੭˙ tornado warnings

the one in which Hyunjin, your long time boyfriend, finally reveals what he does for a living, and the double life he has kept away from you.

﹙ʚɞ˚﹚. genre: angst, hurt to comfort (kind of), drama and fluff

﹙ʚɞ˚﹚. warnings: mentions of blood, bruising, cuts, fist fighting, hyunjin is a bit of a manipulator, and a liar (but he doesn't do it to hurt reader)

﹙ʚɞ˚﹚. word count: 7k

﹙ʚɞ˚﹚. a/n: after what, half a year? boxer hyunjin is here and I truly hope you enjoy him as much as I loved writing this!! please let me know what you think, and have fun reading <3

You loved rain. It never failed to soothe the doubts and uncertainties that weighed heavily on your soul, washing away all the hurt you experienced over the years, one drop at a time.

Rainy nights were your favorite. Those nights where you could stay awake for hours on end, just watching the raindrops crash into your window before rolling down, slowly, defeated, into big puddles on the ground. Rain was quiet, a silent whimper not many paid attention to.

You would have never thought a day would come when you’d attribute that same description to your boyfriend, Hyunjin. In your eyes, he has always been the sun. He was bright and happy, smiling through everything like a saving grace sent from above just for you. Hyunjin was tough, resilient, nothing could break him.

You were always meant to be the rain, the gloomy sky that took over when he needed to rest, when he couldn’t keep shining. Yet, it seemed you hadn’t been paying attention either. Not enough to realise that Hyunjin has long been engulfed by darkness, broken into tiny pieces ,he struggled to tape together while in your presence.

Because your sun has been putting up a front for far too long, way before you met, never wanting to become a burden you could never rid yourself of. The gloomy season of your life that you might end up mourning forever.

It hit you on a rainy night like any other, when your thoughts were loud enough to prevent you from sleeping.

Hyunjin was out, catching up with some childhood friends he hadn’t seen in ages. He assured you countless times that he’ll take care and not go overboard with the drinking while also keeping his friends out of trouble. And you believed him. After all, why wouldn’t you? Your beloved would never lie to you – he has never done so before and didn’t plan on starting now.

Or so you thought.

It’s around one in the morning when you see his car pull up, parking in its usual spot, as close to the apartment building as possible. Usually, your boyfriend would wait out the storm before coming inside, not a fan of the rain you loved so much soaking him to the skin. However, his door opens almost immediately, slamming shut the moment he gets out and starts walking towards the building, not in any hurry.

He seems relaxed, a little too out of the ordinary in the capricious weather, dark hood over his buzzed head obscuring the beautiful features the moon longed to caress as much as you did.

Thinking he’ll be in your arms soon enough, you finally tuck yourself in, waiting for him to crawl into bed beside you so you can cuddle to sleep.

You hear the familiar sound of his keys, the way he carefully shuts the door, afraid he’ll wake you. He’s shuffling out of his shoes, footsteps a little too heavy as he walks around the living room. Hyunjin had the grace of a ballroom dancer, steps so light he often sneaked up on people without meaning to.

This felt strange.

You expect to hear him make his way to your shared bedroom on the other side of the apartment, creaking your door open before greeting you with a bright, but tired smile.

However, that never comes. The only thing you hear is the sound of another door closing, and that’s when it dawns on you that Hyunjin has taken refuge in the bathroom down the hallway. The one he never uses, that’s meant for your friends whenever they come over or decide to spend the night.

You sit up in bed, a little concerned. The apartment is so quiet, you bet you could hear a pin drop, the only noise coming from the rain outside and your pounding heart. Hyunjin couldn’t stand the quiet.

Your heart races, unnecessary fears – of him being injured, in need of help or a shoulder to lean on – overwhelming your already tired mind to the point of alarm. To most, this would be nothing, but you’ve loved Hyunjin for enough time to recognize something is wrong by the simple way he walks around in the apartment he calls home.

That’s precisely why you waste no time in getting out of bed, to search for him, and put your worries to rest. Best case scenario, you’re overthinking, and Hyunjin is merely taking a shower, not wanting to disturb your rest.

The wooden floor is cold under your bare feet, yet a drop of sweat rolls down your spine, causing a shiver to run through you. Engulfed in darkness, the apartment resembled a modern day horror movie, the type that would get the worst reviews, and make Hyunjin cackle like no comedy ever could.

To make matters worse, thunder strikes the moment you stop before the bathroom door, startling your fragile heart. You exhale, one hand soothingly pressed to your chest, before shaking your head and managing to knock.

“Hyun?” Your voice is meek, but in this quiet, he was bound to hear you.

Silence stretches on, save for the sound of running water that gives his presence away. And yet, Hyunjin doesn’t reply, but you feel yourself slowly calming down, comforted by the mere idea of him behind this wooden door.

You knock again and wait. Ten seconds, twenty, and by the time you reach a minute, you decide to just burst in without another word, not being able to handle this deafening silence any longer.

His head snaps towards the door in an instant, whole body freezing like a deer caught in headlights. Hyunjin is there, and in one piece, but on closer inspection, you see cuts and bruises painting his unblemished skin in a dark shade of red. The same that’s currently going down the drain as he scrubs at his hands with alarming vigor.

“Hyunjin…?” Your voice comes out as a whisper, feet frozen on the spot by the doorway. You don’t say anything else, you can’t, the sight of him like this making you feel like this is all nothing but a nightmare that has materialized before your eyes, thanks to your self-destructive tendency to worry about everything. Anxiety personified.

“Baby – “

“You’re hurt.” You mutter, tears welling up in your eyes as you dare take a step closer, afraid any sudden movements would startle him. “What happened?”

Hyunjin just stares at you, mouth agape, before something like shame seems to creep in and he’s looking away, the hot running water burning his hands. Without thinking, you approach to turn the tap off, and the proximity causes him to flinch the tiniest bit, hiding his hands behind his back like a kid would a big secret.

This close, you’re able to inspect his face thoroughly, as much as he’s allowing you to, anyway. You manage to spot a cut above his eyebrow, a busted lip and a quickly forming bruise around his left eye before he’s turning away, hiding from your intense gaze. Without warning, your hand reaches for his chin, your fingers cold against his heated skin, gently coaxing him into facing you again.

And Hyunjin is a weak man, melting at the mere touch of your skin on his, unable to protest even if he wanted to. So much weaker than you could ever imagine.

“You’re bleeding.” The only thing you can do besides bursting into tears is point out the obvious, afraid to venture further in case your touch or your words could potentially hurt him more than he already was.

Hyunjin shakes his head, still not meeting your eyes. “I’m fine. It actually looks worse than it feels, I promise.”

But you’re not convinced.

“Let’s patch you up.” You murmur, letting go of his face in favor of searching for the first aid kit that has to be in one of those cabinets.

You can feel it radiating off of him – shame. Hyunjin wants to protest, tell you to leave, even, needing to deal with all of this by himself, but something in him doesn’t want to. It’s not letting him. Pushing you away pains him physically, eats away at his core until he’s nothing but a shell wandering the world like a ghost until you’re back by his side.

So, he complies. Hyunjin hoists himself up on the counter, side stepping the soaked, grey hoodie he discarded on the tiled floor the moment he entered the bathroom.

You’re by his side in a flash, and his legs naturally part to accommodate you, allowing you to step closer and see all of his flaws despite his initial reticence. Hyunjin would do anything to make you happy.

Silence settles in the room, like an unwanted guest, as you raise a cotton ball to his lip, trying to be as gentle as possible while cleaning the fresh wound, needing to get rid of all the dried blood that’s currently making his life harder.

Hyunjin hisses like burnt, but doesn’t flinch away, staying still for you. But you’re not as strong.

“I’m so, so sorry – “ You’re on the verge of tears, heart dropping all the way to your stomach with a loud thud as your hand freezes.

Shaking his head, Hyunjin’s calloused hand finds the soft skin of your cheek, hesitating for a moment before he brings you in for comfort. “My angel.” He breathes out, reaching for your hand. “What are you apologising for?”

His voice is soft, but not as soft as his eyes that look at you with so much love and admiration, in a way nobody has ever looked at you before. In the quiet apartment, where your only witness is the crying moon, his voice is like a sweet melody, meant to shoo all of your worries.

“I’m hurting you…”

To prove you wrong, his hand tugs yours, connecting the cotton ball soaked in iodine to his wound once again. This time, Hyunjin doesn’t react, most likely used to the stinging pain. “You could never hurt me. I only manage to heal when you’re by my side. How dare you speak such nonsense?”

Just then, thunder strikes once again, and suddenly, you’re engulfed in darkness. You yelp, startled, which only makes Hyunjin braver, one of his arms wrapping around your shoulders to hug your body close and bask in your warmth.

“Shh, I’m here with you.” He mumbles into your hair, one hand running up and down your back in hopes of bringing you the same comfort you always give him.

You settle into his embrace, cheek resting on his chest, feeling at home as the rain continues pounding against the small window. “I’m sorry, I’m not usually this jumpy.”

To your surprise, Hyunjin lets out a short laugh, half-assed. “Will you stop apologising?”

Usually, his laugh is your favorite song, but only when it doesn’t come from a beaten-up face that makes you hurt, almost like you were the one with bruises all over. Hyunjin was not a violent man; on the contrary, he was composed and sensible, a gentle soul in love with the arts and everything beautiful.

He has never made you worry before. Although he has never shown up at home in this state, either. That you know of, anyway.

Something serious must’ve happened. A bar fight; he jumped in to protect someone. Maybe he just tripped and fell?

Whatever it was, you were going to take it easy until he told you himself.

“Only if you tell me what happened.” Or not.

Your voice lacks the softness from before, the quiver that told him you were on the verge of breaking down. In search of the truth, you managed to pull yourself together surprisingly well.

Hyunjin inhales sharply, looking down at you as your chin rests just below his collarbones, wide eyes examining his every feature even in the darkness.

He can’t seem to find the words, unable to say anything that’s not a complete lie. Because he’s aware you’ll see right through him. Lying is easier when he’s not bloody, and his head isn’t pounding with the worst migraine of his life. It’s all easier when you don’t know he’s hiding the truth.

But how can he hide anything in the predicament he’s found himself in?

Just as he’s about to answer, he’s saved by the metaphorical bell.

“Wait, just let me…light some candles first.” You step back reluctantly, the smell of your sweet body lotion lingering on his damp clothes.

“Candles?” He blinks, confused and a little woozy.

You nod, already rummaging through the cabinet next to the sink. “I can’t tend to your wounds if I can’t see them. Just give me a second.” You mumble, though in the quiet space, Hyunjin hears you loud and clear.

All this beating around the bush is helping you both pull yourselves together, calm down enough to think of new ways to approach the current situation. It’s not ideal, but it will have to do. It’s not every day that your beloved comes home with blood all over his face.

Even in this pitch black room, that’s only illuminated by the occasional moon ray that decides to sneak in to caress parts of his face, soothing his red and raw wounds, you can tell Hyunjin is terrified.

Of what’s about to come, your reaction to his big reveal, maybe. Either way, this is the first time in his life when Hyunjin is not looking forward to having a conversation with you.

You light up three medium sized candles, placing them around the room, with the last one finding a home right next to him, far enough to prevent any other accidents from happening.

“They smell nice.” He forces a smile, welcoming you back in between his legs as he leans back against the cold mirror.

“I got your favorite.”

“Sandalwood…” Hyunjin blinks before you can notice the small gems sneaking into his waterline, standing completely still as you finish catering to his lips and move to the cut on his eyebrow. Thankfully, it’s not deep enough to need stitches.

You work in silence, concentrating on your task as Hyunjin fidgets and struggles to remain calm, chest heaving up and down with all the emotions he keeps under wraps. When you reach for a small, Hello Kitty band aid that ends above his eyebrow, he exhales deeply, leaning into your touch that has cupped his now blood free cheek.

“When the power comes back on, we’ll put some ice on that bruise.” You say, not even daring to touch the sensitive skin around his eye, afraid you’ll hurt him.

Hyunjin nods, agreeing to your every word, leaning closer until you’re sharing the same breath. “Thank you, my little angel.”

The sight of him like this, bent and bruised, feels like a stab straight to the heart, an ongoing torturing session that’s meant to break down all of your walls until you’re bare, exposed to the world’s cruellest actions. Until now, you had a hard time believing people who described how painful it was to see the one you loved hurt as something incomprehensible, the type of anguish that never goes away until they’re healed.

Something that has you doubling over, falling into rowdy waters that were bracing themselves for an upcoming storm you could not escape from or prevent. Maybe you were selfish, or maybe you have never loved someone in the way you now love Hyunjin.

Nimble fingers find the hem of his t-shirt, and that’s when Hyunjin freezes up completely. “Off with this. I’ll bring you a dry one.”

For the first time in your life, Hyunjin refuses, shaking his head vehemently. “I’m fine, really. I’ll do it myself later.”

You’re taken aback, perplexity written all over your face. “Baby – “

“Please don’t make me feel worse than I already do.”

That shuts you right up, and you look away, feeling worse. There’s no time for you to dwell on it before his big hands settle on your hips, dragging you forward into his embrace, as warm and comforting as it always is, despite his wet clothing. Hyunjin looks deeply into your eyes, almost like he wants to memorise the galaxy behind them, draw a map only he can decipher.

“What happened to you?” You whisper, speaking the question over his lips, caressing his face and neck as his grip on your hips tightens, using your body as the anchor needed to get back aboard.

“I got into a fight.” He exhales, trying everything in his power to hold himself back. You’re so close, a little nudge and you’d be kissing all of his worries away. But that’s not your goal here.

“To protect one of your friends? Did a fight break out at the bar – “

“For money.”

Silence, like the world has suddenly stopped spinning. Like Hyunjin is a magician with otherworldly talents who has managed to stop time, freeze you and everything around him into place.

“What?”

Now that he has decided to let you in, your beloved is not shying away from the truth. “I box. For money. Five nights a week.”

Your eyes are so wide, he’s afraid they will pop out of their sockets and take their leave, unwilling to look at him any longer. Too disgusted by the monster that has been hiding under pretty smiles and shiny jewellery all of this time.

Your hands drop to his shoulders, and that’s when his sneak beneath your shirt to feel your skin and remain grounded.

This revelation is too much for you – a truth you’re not able to wrap your head around. Your Hyunjin was no fighter; he wouldn’t hurt a fly. Were the chapters you’ve written together, the love story straight out of fairytales, all a lie? Were you too enchanted by his kind heart, his intoxicating love you couldn’t get enough of, to see the truth that has been under your nose all of this time?

“I – “ your voice breaks, and as Hyunjin expects you to pull away, run, you surprise him by wrapping your arms around his shoulders and holding him close, resting your forehead on his chest. “Why? Since when? We have plenty of money, I don’t understand – “

With a tender kiss on the top of your head, he mumbles. “I ran away from home when I was seventeen.”

Your head snaps up, baffled at the news. Not only that, but the fact that you were suddenly getting all of this information, seemingly out of nowhere. You’ve known Hyunjin for years, and yet, he’s never told you about any of this. Who were you exactly in love with? The version of him your heart created and idealised, or the lie he’s been selling you this whole time?

“My parents, uh, they’re powerful people. Too rich for their own good.” He continues like everything you’ve known about him until now wasn’t a complete lie. “I had my life planned out for me from the moment I was born.”

“Go to this private school. Eat this, wear that, don’t talk to that kid, he won’t elevate your social standing.” You can see the disgust slowly morphing into his face as he presumably remembers his parents’ exact words. His dark circles are suddenly more prominent, exhaustion weighing him down. Not only physically, but emotionally too.

Hyunjin never spoke of his parents.

“Get into the best university in the world, away from here, study business management and then take over their empire once they decide to retire. The child brought into this world with the sole purpose of having an heir.”

Hyunjin is spilling his heart out, letting you into his world, yet you’re unsure of what to say. Unsure of what he needs to hear, too much information being thrown at you all at once for your brain to process in a timely manner.

Because you’ve been kept in the dark for so long. You’ll need time, adjusting to this light, to truths you’ve asked for but never given until now. Should you freak out, or try to be understanding?

Eventually, you take a few steps back, and Hyunjin notices the distance you’re trying to put between you, hands falling back to the counter. He doesn’t blame you – this was a lot. He’d surely react in the same way if the roles were reversed.

With a sigh, you run a hand through your hair and look away, trying to wrap your head around everything. “So, were you really staying with your grandmother?”

He nods. “That was not a lie. I was a kid with many dreams. I wanted to dance, paint, write and create my own path and future. But turns out making all of these things happen was too expensive for my old grandma to handle. She could barely support herself – add a stubborn, 17-year-old with too much energy to the mix and life becomes almost impossible.”

Even out of the loop, you can admit that you had always felt it, his silent sadness, the struggles he never spoke of. Sure, Hyunjin was the sun in your eyes, but even the sun puts up fronts when covered by grey clouds. And just like the sun, you had no idea what he went through when he wasn’t instilling happiness in everyone around with his bright smile.

You’ve always known he was different, not fortunate enough to get a family as loving as yours, despite being a man full of warmth and kindness, who’d jump at every opportunity that presented itself to help someone.

You just never saw the full picture, too hesitant to peer behind the shiny, red curtains in fear of upsetting him, but never being granted access backstage, either. Torn between blaming yourself for being afraid of what you’d possibly see, and blaming him for not showing you. Should you have dug deeper?

To see beyond the Hyunjin you put on a pedestal, above everyone else, untouchable, your number one ally in the world that hasn’t been the nicest to him?

“She’s not from here.” You nod, already knowing most of her story. “So, I had to transfer schools, start from scratch in this tiny village I’d only visit during summer break.”

He rolls his eyes, most likely relieving the memories, though, an almost fond smile tugs at the corner of his mouth.

“And of course, since I was the new kid, the outsider in a school where everyone knew each other, I became a target of sorts.”

You couldn’t imagine it. Hyunjin was so lovely, so polite and kind. Who could ever dislike him? Why would they dislike him?

“On my very first day, I got challenged to a fight by those so-called bullies who wanted to intimidate me.”

Your heart drops, hurting for the man before you, despite the faint stings of betrayal. Slowly, you reach for him again, grasping his hands as his sharp eyes watch your every move, tense like he can’t believe you’re still trying to comfort him.

You hold them into yours, running a thumb over the rough skin, which prompts you to finally notice the fresh bruises on his knuckles.

Without a word, you bring them to your lips, wanting to kiss his pain away as he continues spilling his sorrows in the privacy of these four walls, which he’s often felt were closing in on him.

“I never wanted to fight anyone, but I also didn’t want to get beaten up either.” He exhales, letting his head fall back against the cold mirror, now set on opening the door fully to let you walk into the light that was him. Or, the light you saw him as.

His eyes flutter shut, mentally preparing himself for what he was about to reveal next, things he’s never told anyone before. “So almost every day after school, new guys would be waiting for me, wanting to avenge their friends from the day before.”

You pause, looking up at him with your lips still pressed to his skin. Hyunjin does not meet your pleading gaze.

“I took up boxing in 8th grade.” He laughs, but the sound is strained, not genuine in the slightest. “My parents insisted I needed to know how to defend myself, like every respectable Hwang man before me. Dad suggested martial arts, but I wanted to learn the most intense sport a 14-year-old could, out of spite.”

“Long story short, people started to notice how I fought. That I was good.” Air quotes, like he couldn’t bring himself to believe he was that impressive. His hands fall on the cold countertop, out of your grasp. “And among them was my P.E. teacher, who introduced me to the world of underground boxing. I had no life experience back then, so I was surprised to know that something so violent was apparently a blooming business in that run down village.”

Despite yourself, you can’t help but interrupt, curious. “Didn’t your parents come after you? Try to bring you back home?”

Hyunjin shakes his head, a bittersweet smile on his split lip. “No. They were convinced I would break on my own and would return in due time, when I realized how incapable I was of living outside the lap of luxury. That I will come running, begging for their forgiveness.”

“And to an extent, they were right.” He admits, full of shame, long legs dangling off the high countertop. “I was struggling, and so was my poor grandmother. I couldn’t bear seeing it, her pain, how she tried so hard to provide for me despite her old age.”

Your stomach turns, and you hate to admit you know exactly where this story is headed.

“So, I took up his offer. One victory and I was already able to pay all of the bills, and still have some pocket change.” Yet, there is no sign of pride in his voice.

“I never lost a fight either, so by the end of the semester, I was able to support both of us and live comfortably. That’s when people stopped picking on me, too. Life seemed good.”

Without his knowledge, it seemed his activities instilled fear into the other kids. Like a dictator ruling with an iron fist, though Hyunjin has never wanted to become a leader.

Who on their right mind would pick on a kid who beat up others for a living?

The rain outside showed no signs of stopping, wind picking and banging outside your window, resembling the storm that was currently taking place in your beloved’s heart. And yours, though yours has crumbled the moment you saw him in this current state, unable to handle such a sight.

“Your teacher introduced you to illegal fighting? You were a kid!” Your brows furrow, arms crossing over your chest.

Hyunjin snorts. “Yeah, and he made a shit ton of money out of it too. The rich would always come there to be entertained – the smaller the village, the slimmer the chances of the authorities getting involved.”

His reality was so much different from yours; you had a hard time processing it all. You have always been too empathic – but now that he was involved, that empathy has reached new heights. And you were terrified of the fall that would surely follow. Because you knew that by the end of it, you won’t be able to hold him accountable for keeping, essentially, his whole life away from you.

Even in the dim lighting provided by your scented candles, you could see the conflict on his face. How it wrapped itself around his wounds, threatening to submerge him until he was nothing but a stuttering mess. Eating away at his conscience. “Anyhow, the more money I made, the cockier I got. I finished high school, bought this apartment and moved on to doing the same thing, but in the big city. University is expensive, and no flimsy part time job could allow me to pay my tuition.”

One part of that statement has you do a double take, blinking up at him in incredulity, breath catching in your throat.

“I – “

Wanting to hear nothing of it, Hyunjin leans in incredibly close, warm hands reaching for yours to drag you close once again, until his nose bumps gently into your own, voice dropping with purpose and fondness. “You loved this place. How could I ever say no?”

“We could have lived somewhere else! Rent – “

He shakes his head, rejecting that reality. “Why rent when I had all the necessary resources to make you happy? It’s not a big deal. It’s never a big deal when it comes to you.”

“Hyunjin…”

He cups your face with both of his big, calloused hands, finally not shying away from your gaze. “You’re the love of my life.” He states in a hushed voice, sealing the promise with a brief, delicate peck to your lips. “My forever. I’ll always strive to make you the happiest person in the world.”

And you were happy. You have never experienced such happiness before him. You were like a flower, and his love the necessary nutrients needed to bloom and grow into the best version of yourself.

You’d hate to think that while you were busy thriving, feeling like you can conquer the world in his arms, he was withering away, one petal at a time, in a shady boxing ring that could one day take him away from you.

Is this what it means to build your happiness upon someone else’s misery?

Your rose-colored glasses were finally coming off, unable to fathom a reality in which Hyunjin kept sacrificing himself for everyone around. For their comfort, joy and childish dreams.

“My happiness is not worth all of that trouble.” You say, hands moving over his on your cheeks. “I’m not happy if you’re in pain.”

Hyunjin scoffs, silver piercings dangling in his ears as he shakes his head. “I’m fine. This is just a scratch, me not paying attention. I’ll be back in tip top shape tomorrow.”

Your eyes narrow, and you pull back enough for his hands to let go of your face. “Yeah? Take off your shirt then.”

He falls silent, and so do you, waiting to see what new excuse he cooks up this time. But when you’re quiet, the rain still speaks, whispering the truth in your ear.

“You can’t, right? Because you’re hurt.” Your hands travel downwards to land on his abdomen, pressing a little harder around his ribcage to which he inhales sharply, blowing his cover.

“Or maybe I’m just turned on by your beauty – “

“I will murder you.”

A laugh escapes him, husky before he clears his throat and licks his lips, careful of the wound that has finally stopped bleeding. “Can you really live without me?” He whispers, lowering his voice purposely to get under your skin, right where he likes to reside the most.

His hands find your middle, not hesitating to sneak beneath your shirt and travel upwards, making a shiver run down your spine in hopes of distracting you. Just like he’s been distracting you for all of these years. “Wake up every day without me by your side?”

You exhale, looking away briefly as you try to keep your wits about you. Because you are well aware of his plan, and the way he loves twisting situations in his favor, so he’ll get off the hook. You might not be good at seeing through him and his lies when it matters, but right now, you’re able to, even though your traitor body betrays you and reacts to his presence like a stoked fire.

Hyunjin had too much power over you.

“I can’t.” You shake your head, keeping your voice just as quiet. “But it’s something I now have to take into consideration since you apparently insist on going out there, every night, to put your life on the line for some dirty money.”

Hurt flashes across his features, but it’s gone in a second, unwilling to let you see your words have struck a nerve. “You don’t have to think about it.” Then, his voice drops, serious. Seems he doesn’t like being reminded of his own mortality. “Because I’m not going anywhere.”

Sure, he might not be going anywhere today, or tomorrow, or the day after. But what about in a week? Or a month? Who can guarantee you that Hyunjin will never get hurt and left there to bleed out, or that nobody will attack him one day, because they’re sick and tired of him winning? What if someone has a grudge and –

“Stop overthinking.” He frowns, softly pinching your side.

“I’m not allowed to think now?” Your brows furrow as you attempt to take a step back, needing space.

His hands pull you back in immediately, splaying across the warm skin of your back. “No, because it’s all nonsense.” He says lowly, eyes sharp. “You’re never going to lose me. Not until we’re both old and grey, sitting on our porch watching the sunset as our grandbabies play on without a care in the world.”

Your whole being softens, tears trying to force their way out of your eyes once again. “You want that…with me?”

“Of course I do. I don’t see myself growing old by anyone else’s side.” He smiles, and for the first time tonight, you can tell it's genuine. He means it. He’s not trying to mask any other emotion or fool you into believing he’s completely fine.

Hyunjin loves you. He cherishes you. He wants to grow old with you.

But will he be able to?

“I don’t want to see you hurt.” You finally admit, voice barely above a whisper, allowing him to see the fear that almost cripples you just at the idea of him getting into unnecessary fights.

“I’m sorry.” His soft touch finds your face, wiping away a stray tear you haven’t felt escaping. “It’s not going to happen again.”

“Liar.”

Where you expect laughs, you meet a sad smile, one that barely tugs at the corners of his bruised mouth. With a loud sigh, Hyunjin runs a hand over his buzzed head before letting it travel down to rub at his face, visibly distressed. Then, unexpectedly, Hyunjin jumps down from the counter, and half of you is bracing itself for his departure as you take a few steps back.

One that doesn’t come.

Because, in the next moment, Hyunjin closes the space between you in two strides, making your breath hitch as his plump, rosy lips meet yours in a sweet kiss, one so intense that it almost knocks you off your feet. He’s holding you close, wanting to ease all of your worries, gently cupping your face as your arms wind themselves around his neck instinctively.

You melt against him, forgetting all about the rain, dark in the bathroom and even what you were talking about before he decided to steal the air from your lungs and keep it for him, for safekeeping like a souvenir.

He feels sturdy against you, as strong as always and yet, you do notice the way his hands seem to tremble as he holds you, a little unsteady on your skin. Be it the pain from the wounds he dismissed, or your fear bleeding into him slowly but surely, you can’t actually tell for once.

His lips glide over yours, sweet and warm, as his hands travel down your body, caressing every nook and cranny until they stop at the back of your thighs. Without warning, Hyunjin lifts you, encouraging your legs to wrap around him as he supports you with a hand on your lower back.

You gasp into the kiss and he takes this as an opportunity to taste you, timid tongue finding yours and licking into your mouth in a way that has your head spinning, eyes rolling back. In the next moment, you’re the one perched on the counter, right next to the sink and melted candle he’s been resting by minutes prior.

“And you dared to say I was hurt.” He mumbles against your lips, eyes half lidded as he looks at you with the type of quiet intensity that makes you feel hot all over, breath hitching in your throat.

You raise a brow, chest already heaving up and down despite your earlier reticence, trying to pull back a little. “Because you are, in fact, hurt.”

He hums, not paying attention anymore, head dipping to leave a trail of soft kisses down your throat. His plush lips are warm on your skin, a feeling you could never get enough of as his tongue darts out here and there, to also lick at the skin briefly and drive you absolutely wild. Or, distract you from everything he’s revealed tonight.

“You know…” he exhales against your skin, sending a shiver down your spine, “I usually love the sound of your voice, but right now, you’re talking way too much.”

You pull away, until your back is pressed to the cold mirror, with the sole intention of pinching his nose and retaliating. But then, his face comes into view, the raw state of it that pulls at your heartstrings in a painful way. The bruises on his eye and jaw, the cuts and dark circles that seemed to have doubled in size, the slight bump you manage to spot on his buzzed head.

Hyunjin’s beautiful face was now tainted by the cruel world you live in, or maybe by his reckless choices that have brought him here. The consequences of his own actions, the ones he took in hopes of fixing everyone’s problems and bringing sunshine into an otherwise grey existence.

Hyunjin didn’t have a favorite color; he preferred black, but he had never wanted the people dearest to him to experience the darkness that came along with it, to get as lost as he felt.

Softly, almost as if afraid your touch will cause him to crumble, your hands cup his face, placing another kiss on his wet lips as you remain close and whisper. “You’re so lucky I love you.”

“I know.” He nods, turning his head to place a tender kiss on your palm. “I’m the luckiest man in the world.”

What an interesting way to look at it. While you pitied him, Hyunjin felt like he was on cloud nine as long as he could remain by your side, bask in your unconditional love and support that made all of his suffering worth it.

He leans in again, big arms on either side of your body caging you in, breaths mingling together as he plants a tender kiss on your nose, before dropping down to your lips. Your eyes flutter shut, hugging him closer as your arms wrap around his neck, never wanting to let go.

With every kiss and press of his lips against your skin, Hyunjin manages to stray you further away from the truth he’s just revealed, this double life he’s been living for so long. And God, does it work. You’ve always been too weak when it came to him and the way he succeeds in making you feel like the most special person in the world, no matter the circumstances.

As the kiss deepens and you get lost in each other, his hands begin to trail upwards your body, fingers digging lightly into the skin of your waist, then middle, until they reach just under your chest – no touching, just resting there. Your warm breath washes over his lips, pulling back for a moment to give attention to other parts of his face, pressing a kiss near his eye, to the new bruise, then his jaw, cheek, before finally meeting him once again.

Hyunjin exhales through his nose, humming as his hands move so he can wrap both arms around your waist and pull you closer, to the edge of the counter, prompting your legs to wound around his middle. The moment is intimate, sheltered from the world as even the moon has a hard time peeking through the curtain of rain just outside your window.

You’re chest to chest, breathing in tandem, hearts communicating in a language neither would ever be able to understand. Hyunjin groans low in his throat, raspy, as you lick into his mouth, his tongue meeting yours eagerly, like his wounds were healing the more you were touching and kissing him. In any other circumstance, he’d pull away and make a joke about ‘your magic touch’ but for now, he stays put.

His hands move to grip your hips, and that’s when you finally part for air, a barely visible string of saliva following as he chases after your lips for one last kiss that lingers, one he would never end if he could.

“Promise me something.” You whisper, resting your forehead against his as you look deep into his dark eyes.

“Anything.” Hyunjin can’t help it – he leans in for another kiss, calloused hands caressing the bare skin of your thighs, gripping lightly to drag you an inch closer.

Your hands settle on his chest, pushing him away the tiniest bit, giving you enough time to talk before he’s distracted again. “Promise you won’t get hurt again.”

Now this is something you’re both aware he can’t promise, nor that he’ll even consider. Your beloved has always been a free spirit, doing whatever he wanted without caring too much about what others thought or how they felt on the matter.

As he’s staring at you, lips puffy and still wet, with that tiny, pink band aid on his lower one, you can see the guilt in his eyes, the shame he can’t mask no matter how hard he tries. He brings you close by the waist, hugging you to his chest as he breathes in your sweet scent, voice barely above a whisper as his whole body seems to tense.

“I promise.”

Hyunjin doesn’t look at you; in fact, you’re sure he’d rather flee than face you head on. Because you’re both certain about one thing.

He’s lying.

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