quixotic reverie

I write to keep my chest from brimming over.

[hyunwrites]

11/1/16

it’s been a while

life is better. good. maybe even great.

keep trying to focus on the good of whatever is bad

days will turn into weeks will turn into months

i would rather clench and get sand under my fingernails 

then let it passively fall away

[hyunwrites]

12/12

Being with you is like being at home. I feel lighter around you, because you give me a place to store the baggage I’ve accumulated. On nights I wake up in cold sweat or when we walk past trigger points of bad memories, you remind me that being broken is okay and that alone makes me feel whole.

[hyunwrites]

all i need is a small taste of you

i would let you consume me

[hyunwrites]

sigh

[hyunwrites]

emotionally cutting you out starting today

you disappointed me  you have no idea how much I wanted to believe in you  that what everybody said was wrong

but in the end you revel in female attention and all the sweet things you said are souring in the light of the truth

[hyunwrites]

비틀비틀 걸어가는 나의 다리 / 오늘도 의미없는 또 하루가 흘러가죠

[hyunwrites]

I give and give and give and give until I have almost nothing more to give do you know how exhausting it is to pretend that I'm OK when I'm waking up every morning with razor sharp butterflies in my stomach

[hyunwrites]

anxiety anxiety anxiety anxiety

[hyunwrites]

it's tiring to be around people who see others as acquisitions

[hyunwrites]

missing friends but too tired to talk to them make me leave the house or something the understimulation of an extrovert I rely too heavily on others

[hyunwrites]

sometimes I wish I was on campus so I didn't have so much time on my hands and I could distract myself with nights out

[hyunwrites]

not going to fight for your attention anymore

I held out against this for so long

I was so fucking terrified to like someone again

[hyunwrites]

i wanna know what it feels like to kiss you to be held by you to be loved by you please after all that's happened is that too much to ask

[c0deinee]

CAN’T WAIT TO MOVE INTO A SIMPLE APARTMENT WITH THE LOVE OF MY LIFE AND FALL ASLEEP AND WAKE UP NEXT TO THEM AND COOK DINNER WITH THEM AND HAVE RANDOM MIDNIGHT TRIPS FOR SNACKS AND STAY UP LATE PLAYING VIDEO GAMES OR WATCHING MOVIES AND BEING ABLE TO SHARE EVERY MOMENT OF MY LIFE WITH THEM

[hyunwrites]

combating disappointment with coldness

[hyunwrites]

good talks to counteract reality you are my anxiety and my calm

[hyunwrites]

there is beauty in complication but also a shitload of agitated butterflies