Wishing you and yours an Uneventful Nine Fortnights Until Arbor Day!

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EXPECTATIONS
Today's Document
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@i-am-the-wombat
Wishing you and yours an Uneventful Nine Fortnights Until Arbor Day!
That’s rarely a good sign.
It’s not a proper coffee maker if it doesn’t sound like Darth Vader’s breathing apparatus malfunctioning.
“Polarization thrives on false dilemmas.”
Brink Lindsey
If I were a woman, I would want these leggings. I have no idea where I’d wear them, or even if I’d ever have the nerve; but I’d want them just on general principle.
They’re not wrong.
Coffee
Another day I’m incompetent to make my coffee until after I’ve had my coffee.
A good rule of thumb for everyone:
Oldest sushi first.
It's been at least two months since I've heard about murder hornets. I call, “continuity error”.
Vaccine
I know some people are very excited about Russia's announcement that they have a Covid-19 vaccine. However, as it's only been tested on seventy-odd people, and given the Russian government's known tendency to deceive and fabulize, it is my strong suggestion that the only people who take this vaccine are those who desperately want to mutate and grow tentacles.
Could someone please explain to me why anybody would give a bucket of flaming wombat shit what Chuck Woolery has to say about Coronavirus?
I wonder....
Why there doesn’t seem to be a manufacturer of vibrators with the company slogan “If you want something done right, you’ve got to do it yourself.” It seems so right.
Oodles of poodles canoodle in the strudel.
Police Procedurals That Won’t Make It
SO, I’ve been thinking about bad ideas for cop tv shows:
Salt Lake City Vice
NCIS Des Moines
Mean Streets of Topeka
Regulation and Public Safety: Restaurant Inspection Unit
Fake Detective
Fuzz!
Stakeout
Traffic Squad
Hungarian Border Patrol
The Omaha Way
Bad Graphic Design
When I saw this bag from a distance, I read it as saying, “Our carnitas pork responsibly and deliciously.” To which I can only say, I certainly hope so!