@iamjessmess - Tumblr Blog

At least here i can share all this without feeling judged by anyone. Here is a safe haven to share my thoughts.

writing writing writing, writing writing writing, i feel lost again. I feel i have no purpose, no skills, no admirable qualities. I don’t have anything to offer that wants to be used, i do have all this talent but no one who wants me to share it with them. I feel trapped and stuck at every corner or avenue i try to go down, and i don’t know how to get out of it. Am i my own worst problem? I feel every time i put myself out there it just falls through, and i feel its easy for people to be like that’s life and it’ll get better, but it never does. Never. I’m turning 30 next year and ive nothing to show for myself, i’m still stuck in the same place, working in hospitality and dying to get out and do something else. I feel like the universe is telling me that’s where i should be. And i don’t know if that’s what i want, i want to amount to more than that. I don’t know what i want. Its frustrating. I don’t have any wants or desire, i’m starting to feel numb again and it scares me. I don’t want to feel this way, and i find it really hard to hear others say that im getting in my own way, because i feel picked on by the world when all ive done is look out for others constantly. I’ve worked so hard in my life, and it all feels like for nothing. I feel used. I feel used. I don’t feel respected. I don’t think i have anything else left to say. I feel lost.