Fords Words

Lulz life.

[browsedankmemes]

Classic Zucc via /r/dank_meme https://ift.tt/2GCZ8iZ

[inactiveaccount12345678]

My roomba is scared of thunderstorms

I was sitting at my desk just a few minutes ago, drawing, and a really loud crack of thunder went off–no power surges or anything, just thunder–and my roomba fled from its dock and started spinning in circles

I currently now have an active roomba sitting quietly on my lap

[systlin]

Humans will pack bond with anything. 

[apostatively]

I had a teenage girl come into my tea shop with her mother the other night. She purposely grabbed a teamaker in the most crunched-up looking box on the shelf (got banged around in shipment) and carried it protectively over to the counter. “If something’s in a damaged box I have to get it because I’m afraid no one else will love it,” she laughed nervously.

Not only will humans pack bond with anything, the empathy level of adolescent girls in particular likely has puppy-saving, world hunger-solving, war-ending powers.

[a-dull-glow]

I once saw a really bumpy lime at the grocery store, just a real ugly fruit. Later that night my boyfriend & I were driving home from rehearsal at like 11:30pm & passed the grocery store & I stared crying & he said “is it that lime? Do you want to go back and get it?” And I nodded and pulled the car around and bought the lime.

[bpd-dylan-hall-deactivated20190]

“our teeth and ambitions are bared” is a zeugma

and it’s a zeugma where one of the words is literal and one is metaphorical which is the BEST KIND

[tuesdayisfordancing]

I didn’t know about zeugmas until just now! That is so awesome, everybody: 

zeug·ma ˈzo͞oɡmə/

noun

a figure of speech in which a word applies to two others in different senses (e.g.,John and his license expired last week ) or to two others of which it semantically suits only one (e.g., with weeping eyes and hearts ).

ISN’T THAT AWESOME??

[professorsparklepants]

#in english class in high school my teacher had us write our own zeugmas in class#and one guy came up with ‘he fell from her favor… and the window’#i am forever looking for opportunities to use that one

[siesiegirl]

She dropped her dress and inhibitions at the door.

[crumbvulet]

What’s this? My favorite rhetorical device showing up on my dashboard?

[thranduilland]

IT HAS A NAMEEEE!! OH MY GOD!!!

[candiikismet]

I LOVE THIIIIIS!!!

[orriculum]

One I’ve loved was “on their weekend trip they caught three fish and a cold”

I love these they’re like a pun and a metaphor wrapped up into one neat phrase

[jasnakisapa]

@jwlzrulezz rhetorical device of the day

[wordsmith-storyweaver]

She stole my heart and my cat. 😀

[inkandblade]

OH.

[herelieslill-deactivated2022041]

crime pulp is full of zeugma and it’s the greatest. “she was the kind of girl who’d break your heart, or maybe your arm.”

[browsedankmemes]

Accurate chart via /r/memes https://ift.tt/2GBCc3G

[straightwhiteboystexting]

chocobohno

[wronghands1]

[tastefullyoffensive]

(via bbymandi)

[tastefullyoffensive]

(via bbymandi)

[lohver]

if life has treated you like trash and you still make an effort to be a good person i appreciate you. thank you.

[operaqueen]

[kittje]

Muriel and Eustace get a special treat: bahnahnah 🍌

[tockthewatchdog-deactivated2020]

me: hey can you make dopamine and serotonin

my brain:

[browsedankmemes]

The truth has been spoken via /r/dank_meme http://ift.tt/2CEUwDd

[coaltar-of-the-deepers]

LAST JEDI SPOILERS

yoda straight chillin

[essence-of-armbarring]

Japanese dad challenges daughter’s boyfriend to video game grudge match, gets kicked out of house

"He’s not fit to be my daughter’s boyfriend," Dad declares after witnessing junior high school boy’s lack of fighting game skills.

assuming i ever get good at fighting games, challenging some kid that thinks he’s worthy to be my daughter’s bf by testing him in guilty gear is absolutely something i would fucking do

[powerburial]

if you cant air dash or roman cancel, how can you take care of my daughter

[youngsamberg]

my favorite samberg meme is finding weird pictures of him deep in the internet with no context

please feel free to add your favorite no-context pics of sambags below

[roy-kent]

[minim-calibre]

[lemonsharks]

[back-that-sass-up]

what did we as the human race do to deserve him

[thephilosopheroftheboudoir]