There I was, once again looking out of the window. I can't remember what I was thinking in that exact moment, but my mind was constantly going, like a ticking bomb...always, thinking, always new ideas coming up in my head. Sometimes it was myself hard to keep up with the pace my mind would go at. As a kid I had such big dreams, and I felt pressure, I don't know from where, from who or from what. Nor my parents, nor school, nor my friends, no one pushed me in terms of absolutely needing to succeed, I just felt a certain way, that if I was going to succeed this is how I had to be. Focused on my dreams and my goals, and how I was going to make them come true. As a child sometimes it was hard, I would not say I had friends like that, and at times felt quite neglected in school. I felt I was different from the rest of the kids, I spent hours after school studying and studying....and if it were not for school, I would be on the simulator....or analysing YouTube videos of aircraft and cockpit recordings, or reading books on the Airbus...or spending time in the simulatthefiguring out what each button did. I was so obsessed, I loved flying and everything and anything to do with it. Like Albert Einstein said "obsession is the soul of genius". But I was not a genius, nor at any point did I feel like one, although my peers at school would describe me as a "cool" geek, because even though I studied, loved aircraft and loved spending time analysing all of this, I also enjoyed football, the outdoors and spending time outside in the summers. I was a strange kid at times, did not get much sleep in my teen years, because I would wake up at 5am and study, be in bed for 9pm, I had such a strict routine...I wanted to succeed, and wanted to constantly be better than my competition, but only God knew whothhthi"competition" was. Nonetheless, becoming a pilot was my ultimate dream, and I was going to do anything and everything in my power to become one...but I feel looking back, as if I burned myself out as a child, staying so much those 5am wake up calls, wanting success and all that stress. My parents wanted success out of me, but they just wanted me to do something that made me happy, even if that was working in construction. They never minded, but always supported my choices. Football, cadets, the bicycle, my work, and when I wanted to swim and do 1 million other things. They told me to find that one thing and really buckle down. So I tried, but essentially I came to burn myself out at times.....