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[iamscaredformyself-blog]

I never realized that despite my supposed range of control over my girlfriend and her emotions/hormones/etc, she has a total vice-like grip over my life and my feelings.

I am basically her slave, she has yet to utilize me in such a way.

[iamscaredformyself-blog]

I have started this blog

out of fear for my relationship, because of stress, life in general. I usually don't have any way to vent anonymously. My regular account is too public.

I want secrecy. I want peace. I want....acceptance I suppose.

My first post is about my relationship and how it's been slowly spiraling down and recently hit a very hard note.

My girlfriend has told me an ultimatum: stop asking about her life, and all will be fine. I will have to stop lecturing her on her choices. About her eating habits. About her feelings. Her friends.

The reason it's come to this is because of my ignorance and complete disregard for all she's said. So with that, I have taken what she has said to heart.

She's away on vacation with her dad, and she hates her father. So I'm not allowed to talk about him to her at all. Nothing at all. I respect this.

I seem very timid now. I don't wanna be subservient to her, but....I do love her. I do this out of fear. And I know she loves me.

...I think.

Time will tell, and the rocks awaiting me at the bottom will either be accepting or threatening.