I really do think so! Shoot, in this life, I’m betting on Ian, no shame and no regret, for the rest of my days - you should join me, it’s fun over here! And maybe one day there’ll be less worry and it’ll all be lighter on your head, I hope you get that very much. And aww, thanks! I wouldn’t ever wanna compete against Kirby in a light-off, she’s shiny like the sun, so I’ll try not to think of it as a competition. Sides, we’re better as a team, she and I, just like you and I are. Like the whole of us are, really. Having a group of friends is a real strength, let me tell you.
Or a Latin class, maybe. The words we’re saying mean something, I reckon, and if we know what, it might be easier to say ‘em. I don’t ever wanna lose my drawl too much, you feel me? Sometimes it’s the only thing connecting me to my pa who isn’t a nice man but was still mine.
Well now, you don’t have to be embarrassed or ashamed about being you! All parts of you are Ian and I like Ian a lot so if you’re shaming my friend, boo on you. I don’t know much about OCD, to tell you the truth, cept that I think I saw it makes someone turn on the lights and turn them off like five times afore they exit a room. That doesn’t seem too bad! And we have wands, you could just do that with magic, couldn’t you?
You’re betting on me? Are you sure? That feels like a fast way to lose a lot of money, and that doesn’t sound fun at all. I can’t give you any promises, is what I mean-- would you still root for me? Yeah, we’re a team. It’ll be us against the world one day, when we graduate. Hey, you’re right! Why didn’t I think of that? A Latin class-- that’s exactly what we need, sometimes there’s power in words when you understand what they mean too. I feel you, there are just some things that connect us to our roots we can’t ever imagine letting go of.
Thank you for standing up for me against me, it’s appreciated. I suppose sometimes I need defending against myself. Why is it that sometimes we’re the people that tear ourselves down the most rather than opposing outside forces? I don’t need to turn lights on and off again, I can visually trust myself with that. When I was a kid though, I did that for maybe a few months. It changes sometimes, it just really depends what I’m anxious about I guess.
I’m not embarrassed to be myself, what I’m embarrassed of is uh, i’m trying to think of a good example... like, I don’t wash my hands for hours on end like I read in a book once, but I do wash them a certain specific way and sometimes twice, and if I don’t then I feel like 1) they’re not clean and 2) there’s still soap all over them. Is it logically sound? Absolutely not, but making myself do it is a lot easier than not doing it then spending the next 2 hours anxious that I can’t safely touch anything cause my hands are filthy and germ-infested. What if I get someone sick? And they die? Does that make me a murderer even unintentionally? Technically no, but what if evidence traces back to me?
The answers are: it’s not probable to get someone sick unless I’m already showing signs of illness-- washing my hands once is already very sanitary. Even if I did get someone sick, the very worst would be a bug or virus. In the extreme event that a life threatening disease is released, chances that I was patient zero are next to none. Plus, even if it was traced back to me, no one’s really ever been arrested or charged for being a patient zero. I understand that, yet I still wash my hands a specific way and sometimes twice, three times, maybe four. Because I’d still rather give in and do that then risk it despite knowing it’ll never happen. I’m... ashamed of that, that I can’t exert more self-control over it.
