yodel-adle-eedle-idle-odel-oo!

wyatt slim, 15, gryffindor Howdy, y'all! It's Wyatt Slim here, son of Alameda Slim, the greatest yodeler this side of the Mississippi. I don't share his hypno-yodeling, I don't think, or his love for stealing cattle and other people's livelihood though, don't you worry about that now. I'm just a boy who's glad to be off the Isle. I don't do too good in school but I think I make a good Beater, and I make sure I treat people decent. I've never met a snack or a dare that I didn't like or at least finish.

[wyattslim]

TEXT ✉️& RYATT

Rachel: I'm totally scared to get Cassie pets because I think they're like pringles for her and sharing beds with pets is super cool but I want Cassie to leave enough room on her bed for HER and to take care of herself and not forget because she's got so many cute little pets! If that makes any sense. I totally worry about my sister too much! I know everyone thinks I'm super duper happy and nothing bothers me but I want other people to be super duper happy too and I know that she's NOT happy a lot and I want to fiiiiix it! Why can't magic make people happy?

Rachel: SORRY! THAT WAS TOTALLY NOT FUN TO TALK ABOUT, FIZZY LIFTING DRINKS ARE FUN TO TALK ABOUT! I wish that movie was real, we could go to that candy store together! But Honeydukes is super close, I just haven't had candy that makes me float yet.

Wyatt: Maybe you could get your brother a pet, then! Unless he's also the kind to get more and more little pets and forget about himself, then maybe you're better off getting yourself a chipmunk LOL. And hey now, being super duper happy doesn't mean you can't worry! If it did, nobody would be super duper happy and you're the superest and duperest happy I know! I wish magic could make people happy but your sister's got something better than that to help her, she's got you! Nobody can be around you and not be happy. And it's bound to rub off on her, it's infectious!

Wyatt: YOU CAN TALK ABOUT WHATEVER YOU NEED TO, RACH. I MIGHT NOT BE HELP BUT I'LL FOLLOW ALONG BEST I CAN. I wish it was real too! Floating candy sounds like the best - imagine having some of that and then playing Quidditch LOL.

[wyattslim]

text ✉☎ jimmat

James: If no one's seen me fall then no one can prove that I've ever fallen ;-)

Wyatt: So you have! It hurts like crazy, don't it? And asking the nurse to check out your butt is WEIRD.

[wyattslim]

hokukawena:

I don’t know, because then you have lots of extra chins in pictures and it’s not cute and people like, don’t want to be seen with you and stuff? I mean, not everyone but like, it makes it seem like you kind of take bad care of yourself and don’t share

What are you talking about? Chins are always cute! Would you really not be seen with somebody because they looked fat and happy? Because it sounds to me like anyone who would hate on somebody just for being well fed is the problem here, not me. Eating good food and making sure your stomach is never empty is the best care of yourself you can take, silly!

[wyattslim]

hokukawena:

That totes works! I mean, drums are more thunder than guitar but like, whatevs, it’s close enough. I mean, being good at being mean totes hurts other people’s feelings, and we’re not supposed to be happy when we do that even if some people are super satisfized when they do it. And um… are you sure? Because eating a lot makes people think you’re like, kinda fat?

Close enough is my motto! And yeah, we're not supposed to be happy when we hurt people's feelings but that doesn't mean that it doesn't take talent. And why do you say that like it's a bad thing? I'd love to be fat! That means I'd be happy and full and it would be the farthest cry from how I was on the Isle, you know? Never going hungry again sounds like the happiest ever after of all to me.

[wyattslim]

text ✉☎ jimmat

Jimmy: What about a broom? Ever fallen off of one of those and hit your head?

Wyatt: Nope! I've fallen off a broom but I've only landed on my side or my butt. You ever fall from your broom onto your booty? It hurts!

[wyattslim]

TEXT ✉️& RYATT

Rachel: Oh gosh, I don't, I guess maybe I should get one so that I'm not keeping soulmates apart like that! No, don't be bummered yet! Anything's possible, maybe there's a spell we can use to make you floatier so you can still do it even if you can't quite do it on your own. WHICH YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO DO! Maybe you were born to be a gymnast!

Wyatt: OOOOOOOOR you could get your brother or sister a Chip and then you'd be free to get whoever you want that goes with your particular Dale lol. I would love to try a floatier spell! Did you ever see that Wonka movie, with the fizzy lifting drinks? Are those real? Because that would be a real hootenanny! I doubt I have your natural skill level, ma'am, but I'd sure be willing to try.

[wyattslim]

hokukawena:

It’s… idk, they’re different instruments! Acoustic stuff has like, big holes so the sound can echo or whatever, it just sounds different. Less like, lightningish. Idk, because some people are good at bad things? Like, if we put that someone’s super good at being mean, or super good at like, eating too much.

I’ll just think of acoustic as thunder music and electric as lightning music then and call it a day! I don’t need to know exactly how it works to think it’s cool. And there’s no such thing as ‘bad things’, not really! Someone being good at being mean or good at eating is still impressive if you ask me! Like, I wanna be the best at eating too much!

[wyattslim]

text ✉️$ wyane

Jane: Oh, um, thank you.

Jane: It's... not? Oh, good. Okay.

Jane: Um... can I ask who that was for? She's pretty lucky to have someone want to send random texts like that.

Wyatt: You're mighty welcome!

Wyatt: And it's not, good!

Wyatt: Of course you can ask!

[wyattslim]

text ✉☎ jimmat

Jimmy: You ever fall off a bull and hit your head, big guy?

Wyatt: Oh, I wish! I've never climbed on a bull but that would be the best day ever!

[wyattslim]

hokukawena:

Um, kind of! Except it has to stay plugged in to get amplified so everyone can hear it, and cellphones like, you just recharge when you need it. It sounds like, squealier? I don’t know, you can tell the difference between electric and acoustic guitars, right? Because it’s like that but smaller and cuter! We could like, make a list? Or a scrapbook? We just have to be careful to be nice in it so we don’t get Regina George busted. Not that I’ve ever made a burn book. That anyone’s found…

I mean, I can physically tell what’s a electric guitar and what’s an acoustic one, from how they look, but I don’t know what it means to be electric or not? I don’t understand the process, I guess, but that’s okay, I don’t have to! Why would we get in trouble for making a book of the things that everybody’s good at?! That’s like the opposite of a burn book, it’s a compliment book!

[wyattslim]

TEXT ✉️& RYATT

Rachel: Oh my gosh, that's because there's a super famous chipmunk NAMED Dale, isn't that cute? He's real and he lives in a zoo but there are shows all about him and his adventures with his friend Chip, it's so funny! Oh, um, I can try! But you're kind of tall so it might be hard since you're starting so late! I can definitely teach you somersaults at least!

Wyatt: It's crazy cute! Do you have a Chip? Do you WANT a Chip? Because being a lonely Dale sounds, well, lonely! Aww that's a bummer :( But at least I'll be able to do somersaults. I can already do cartwheels, think that'll give me an advantage?

[wyattslim]

text ✉☎ jimmat

Jimmy: If you ever hear a Slytherin saying yee-haw, they're probably just doing it to mock you, little dude. Don't stand there and take it, make them eat your hat.

Wyatt: Aww, we don't know that! For all we know, any yee-haw from them might be a genuine yee-haw! I don't want to go assuming the worst in people, because people here are the freaking best!

[wyattslim]

text ✉️$ wyane

Jane: Oh, well that makes more sense. I'd never get a message like that, I thought it was REALLY weird that I'd just gotten it just now. Oh, well, still thank you.

Jane: And I made this awkward, didn't I? It's okay! You don't have to keep talking to me.

Wyatt: Sure you would! You look pretty as a porcelain doll, Jane! I'm sure someday some dude is going to send you that and mean it because you're mighty fine in your own way, ma'am. I would gladly tip my hat to you.

Wyatt: Is it awkward? I couldn't tell, honestly. I never think anything is awkward though!

[wyattslim]

hokukawena:

You plug it into the wall! Or like… portable chargers I guess? I don’t know, I’m not like, a scientist, duh. It charges just the same as like a cell phone or a computer does and if you’re outside you use a magic orange cord to stretch to reach it. I don’t know, you’d have to ask like, Peter Pan’s kids, they know how to put shadows in pockets, don’t they? Or did I get that wrong?

So it’s like one of these cell phones, ‘cept it’s a ukelele? That’s real neat! I don’t know what difference it being electric makes, since I’m big on the acoustic sound, but I’m willing to bet you play it to perfection. Shoot, do they? I don’t know! I wish I knew off the top of my head what everybody knows and is good at, because then I’d know who to ask.

[wyattslim]

TEXT ✉️& RYATT

Rachel: Your name's fun too! It reminds me of those camel thingies they sell in vending machines and of Slim Jims and of people who are super happy about being skinny even though non-skinny people are beautiful too! Totally! I can't believe you've never seen me do it, we have to have a lawn party NOW.

Wyatt: You think so? That's real cute of you to say - I happen to like Dale. It makes me think of calling somebody Deputy Dale, someone important to tip my hat to. It also makes me think of chipmunks! And alrighty ma'am, whatever you say! Can you teach ME to flip??

[wyattslim]

text ✉☎ jimmat

James: Dude, the Slytherins probably stole it or something. They have practice after we do! You should plan a sneak mission into their common room to figure out who's got it.

Wyatt: Maybe a hat would do them good, bring some yee-haw into their souls! I do want it back though so maybe I oughta. I don't know too many Slytherins that could help me sneak in, though. I mainly know Hufflepuffs.

[wyattslim]

text ✉️# wy-j

CJ: That's not at all surprising. What are you good at, Cowboy?

Wyatt: I'm good at loving being called Cowboy! And I'm good at being a friend, I think. I'm an alright beater. I ain't the best at nothing yet but one day I will be! What about you, what are you the best at?