as if to say.. my final farewell?
because the only star i know
is still rising up like phoenix
taking new shape and form like a chameleon
i wouldnt recognize god either
if all they did was write poetry
that no one even cared to read
theyd just stop to ask who wrote it
just to question each sentence
redacting what didnt suit their palette
everyones a critic, beggining with no lead..
well— now im begining to see
no matter how you stand in the open clearing… clarity is not enough to set us free
how when i never said or wrote your name— you still author my autobiography
as if there were an early grave already awaiting
or as if i didnt already see you coming
no inferno could hold a fire to that kind of flame
like the basilisk that sleeps,
the first flame ever summoned
was in the shape of a woman
hoping no one came to see
if only to be picked unripe and unsweet
is this why i had lost my way
and had no longer any sense of belonging?
because when you know your origin
i never needed to be a woman
not the way i wanted to love..
i wanted you, to be as poetry..
unscriptured, flowing naturally
however the wind came to halt
i listen for you as i fall asleep
i wanted you, to not have to be—
thats when i wake i regret not
because with them there is no me
whether i cast a shadow or
thats why you can only find him in the darkest places
his name written in every sentence
i am not begging nor bleeding
hoping to be properly behaved
so that no one dare mention:
“why didnt you just leave?”
because— every caged bird
knows the price of its freedom
never did taste like anything
the best kind of love is like a slow poison
by the the time you catch up with me
i even bothered to answer…
is only given for good performance
you need never earn my affection
as if god knew why i never cared to be
because the only eternity worth giving
would be to simply plant a seed
even if you never smell the flowers growing
the one who writhed to be more than angel, human, god or serpentine…
couldnt even wrap his mouth around
a threat, without being rendered disarmed or harming others
without a flicker, or a hiss
of light leaking from his soft, white underbelly
you see that all things bleed
and all you hear is babble
the prophecy foretold this would once again, happen…
God never become neither Man nor Woman
he is still properly arranging
so that all living things
without having to result to predation
even if it means i must swallow your darkness
so that the light will never falter
and fruit will never fall far from the
head of mother and father
strange fruit, hanging ripe from the vine
a guardian of heaven waiting
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