50 States of McMansion Hell: 10 Worst Pennsylvania McMansions
Howdy, folks! After surfing around Pennsylvania for a house to chew on, it became clear that one house was simply not enough to pay justice to this wonderful, Super Bowl-winning state. (CONGRATS TO THE BIRDS!!!)
I hope you find this #content soothing to those of you still recovering from your “sick day.” Without further ado…
#10: York County
(Reading a book about Victorian-era architecture)
“okay how can I make the worst possible version of this?”
#9: Chester County
Sometimes people send me houses that they describe as “cult compounds.” While it’s unlikely that every house fitting the description is occupied by a sinister death cult, it is interesting that there is a type of house tied to the idea of cults. Usually it’s a very large, plain looking house with small windows that has an almost hotel-like appearance. On the inside, they usually look like normal McMansions, not to say that that by itself isn’t sinister…
#8: Allegheny County
ok but hear me out though:
Photo via Dune Wikia
#7: Northampton County
I can only assume at this point that the party hat is a key cultural symbol of wealth in the state of Pennsylvania.
#6: Montgomery County
How is it that every Montgomery County in the US is a verifiable McMansion Hell? Who was Montgomery and why is everything his name touches cursed???
#5: Also Montgomery County
I don’t even want to know what Freud would have to say about those stick-on hieroglyphs/caryatids. Really, I have so many questions about who was involved in the decision making process here.
#4: Chester County
How is it even possible for dormers to have a head-on collision??
#3: Bucks County
Ok but this is at least 8 houses and none of them are good. Let me offer a suggestion, some serious architectural advice: make ONE GOOD house instead of several BAD houses.
#2: Cumberland County
What would our Tour of Bad be without an abandoned, half-finished McMansion that died off during the heyday of the real estate bubble? Sadly, now this home is as empty and incomplete as people who tie their entire self-worth to architectural signifiers of wealth.
FINALLY…
#1: Butler County
This house is probably the one thing that dropped the ball more than Tom Brady (BADUM TISS). This house has every Pennsylvania McMansion Trope:
- several houses taped together - party hats - forms interrupting other forms - entire wings that make 0 sense
One can only hope this house melts before it sells.
Well, that does it for Pennsylvania! I’m putting together a Looking Around post on Infrastructure that may end up taking another week or two, since it’s a lot to cover. Join us next week for our Rhode Island McMansion!
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