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@ignikinetic-blog
Believe me, I know what it’s like to feel all alone…the worst kind of loneliness in the world is isolation that comes from being misunderstood, it can make people lose their grasp on reality.
Dan Brown, Inferno (via thequotejournals)
Never presume that I will not act on my worst instincts.
Cesare Borgia (via ablackwing)
I’ve polished this anger and now it’s a knife.
Cathy Linh Che, from “Go Forget Your Father,” published in Poetry (via lifeinpoetry)
Reblog if you're on team "don't touch me without my permission but if you have my permission please never stop touching me"
I look young But inside I am old And filled with the deaths Of other people.
(via hailthequeens)
EAT. That was all that was in her head. Find the most worthless piece of shit in the city and tear him to pieces. Rose was not one for taking innocent lives, she preferred to go for menaces to society. Her brown eyes were intense as her gaze stayed straight ahead, she was intent on her current mission but it was all put on a complete hold when Devlin appeared in front of her making her stop instantly. Her brows furrow as her gaze meets his.
Her hands were in tight fists as he spoke to her, her heart felt like it was crumbling. She lightly flinches when he takes hold of her hands, unballing them so that he could have a proper hold of them. His words cause her eyes to close as she listens to him speak, a silent stream of tears roll down her cheeks staining the pale skin with red. She slowly pulls her hands out of his grasp only to gently guide her hands up his arms before wrapping them around his neck. Rose could not understand where these waves of emotions came from but she could not stop the sound of her cries from flowing past her lips, “I d-don’t want to lose y-you either..” She manages to say through her uncontrollable sobbing. She pulls her head back so they could lock eyes for just a moment before leaning in to softly press her lips against his; they were still just as soft and sweet like she remembers. She slowly breaks the kiss just to lightly brush her nose against his, “I love you, Devy.” She says softly against his lips.
[ ✖ 𝔇𝔢𝔳𝔩𝔦𝔫 𝔒'𝓒𝔩𝔢𝔯𝑦; @witheringred ]
— Finding Rose again— and alive at that— was like part of his heart had been restored to him and some of the weight of the guilt he carried lifted from his shoulders. Once the initial shock was gone Devlin had no desire to allow the other redhead to slip from his world yet again. He was damn well going to try to reconcile with her and at the very least keep Rose in his life as a friend— however much that would pain him. The vampire realized the moment he saw her that he never stopped loving her— which was likely the reason he never moved on. Well, that and being so afraid his maker would find him with someone new and force him to take their life as well.
Devlin enveloped Rose within his arms, pressing kisses to her bloodied cheeks and fighting his own which failed once she said those four words that slammed the past into the future as one. "I love you, too, darlin'," he whispered hoarsely, brushing his lips against hers with a sigh. "You actually hungry or were ya just sayin' that to get away from me?" he asked with a playful smile, leaning his forehead against hers. "'Cause we got a LOT of catchin' up to do and I know of an area that has some really rotten sons of bitches floatin' around that we can hunt," he suggested with a soft smirk.
She was nearly purring with pleasure and squirmed against him when he wreaked revenge and undid at least half her hair. It felt nice though, little pins popping free, no longer stabbing at her scalp. And oh yes, so close to him.
Then came a little stab of pain – so quick and slight it was almost like a paper cut. She hardly noticed – and certainly wouldn’t have stopped kissing him over it. But then the man was out of her arms and on the other side of the car, doing a silly thing and turning it back on.
Vesper licked her lips, tasting coppery blood and considered her options. For a moment anyway.
“Devlin,” she said calmly. Once she was certain she had his attention, she slid close again and very intentionally kissed him a second time. But sweetly, a soft brush of bloodied lips to his. Like an offering.
“Shh,” she went on, and reached up to stroke his hair. “I am a Rosya, and though that is a flower, we are not the delicate kind. I can promise you most women have seen more blood than even you.”
Mischief gleamed in her eyes, her fingers tips lingered on the line of his jaw. But aside from that one kiss she didn’t seem intent on pushing him any farther.
“You can take me home if you like. But only if you promise me you won't vanish into the night like a thief. That was my FIRST KISS, and I consider that an investment for much more.”
[ ✖ 𝔇𝔢𝔳𝔩𝔦𝔫 𝔒'𝓒𝔩𝔢𝔯𝑦; @foolfokusnik ]
— Devlin's worst fear was being forced to yet again hurt or kill someone he loved once his maker discovered them in his life. And as he kissed Vesper— and inadvertently nicked her lip with his fang— he was SLAMMED back into reality. They couldn't do this. They couldn't be together. He'd get her killed and how would he be able to live with himself after that? He wouldn't.
The vampire had an arm resting on the top of the steering wheel in a loose embrace and long fingers still gripping the keys in the ignition when she spoke his name. He cringed, unable to help it. And then she was sliding across the bench seat, effectively trapping him between herself and the door. Devlin's eyes closed as Vesper kissed him again, a nearly inaudible moan exhaling past his lips and vanishing into her mouth. He could taste her blood on her lips, sweet as buttercream, and even allowed himself the minute pleasure of suckling gently at her cut lip.
"It won't mean a damn thing if he finds out," Devlin warned in a whisper, his raspy tone carrying a high note of anxiety amid its softness. The vampire then sighed, indigo hues closing as a pang of guilt flared beneath his breastbone. "'m not good for you, Vesper. And 'm afraid I can't promise I won't leave neither. But if I gotta go I'll give ya a warnin' at least. It's all I can promise for now, little darlin'." he gave her a sad smile then, reaching up to ghost his thumb over the birthmark on her cheek. After that it was done, Devlin slid the gear into drive and maneuvered the old Ford out onto the road. "So now, what's your address?"
She nodded, seeing his point though she didn’t like the idea of him being unconscious come DAYBREAK. Even so she stared into his eyes and with each word felt that knot in her chest loosen. His eyes seemed to grow and pull her in, like dark pools of water.
A long breath left her lips, her posture loosened. And the choking gibbering TERROR was pressed back into its cage. Leaving behind a fiercely burning coal of outrage. And determination.
The fear was still there. But the anxiety, the panic, that feeling of holding onto herself only by her fingertips – it faded to background noise.
“Yes,” she said.
Without hesitating, she hugged him, expressing her gratitude the best way she knew how.
“I feel like I can breathe.” Still sore and shaky from bringing him back, but otherwise capable. “THANK YOU, Devlin.”
She pulled away, expression serious, and probably pretty terrifying given all the dried blood and her flyaway hair.
“We’re going to be SMARTER than him and get topside. And then we can bury the Whitmore legacy so deep no NECROMANCY can revive it.”
And, to herself, she made another VOW. That while she plotted during the day, she would watch over him as best she could.
[ ✖ 𝔇𝔢𝔳𝔩𝔦𝔫 𝔒'𝓒𝔩𝔢𝔯𝑦; @gospelgraved ]
— Devlin chuckled low in his throat and returned the hug with a faint smile, clinging to her for a beat or two longer than was probably proper. But it had been so damn long since he had felt a kind touch that he hadn't even realized how starved he was for it until Clarke hugged him. "You're welcome darlin'," he murmured huskily into the top of her head before finally letting go.
He had taken away her anxiety and she had somewhat done the same in return, now he was able to lean back against the wall and take a deep cleansing breath as the tension drained from his shoulders. Somehow they'd get out. Devlin wasn't sure on the details yet. But they'd think of something. And at least he wouldn’t be alone in escaping.
For now, though, daylight was coming and the vampire was eager to sink into the death-like slumber that would drown out the physical pain for the next twelve or so hours. Curling up into a fetal position, Devlin twisted back slightly to look at Clarke "I'll be gettin' up when the sun goes down. You might as well try to sleep too. You’re gonna need your strength.” Devlin smiled faintly, dark blue eyes already starting to slip closed, even as he forced them open a moment later with a jerk. Soon enough though he wasn't even able to do that much and after a minute or two more he was for all intents and purposes— dead.
“It’s too late for that.. happiness just wasn’t meant for us.. we just get a taste of it and then it’s taken away in the cruelest ways.” Did she regret what they had? Previously, she did. Rose hated him for the longest of time for what he had done, but with her being turned and having met vampires along the way to help her better understand what she was and how things worked, she had a gut feeling that there was some form of mental play involved. But she could never forget nor regret those nights of being held in his arms or running about like children in the yard, laughing in the wind.
She felt something run down the ride side of her face and she quickly wiped it away. Looking at her hand she saw the faint shade of red and let out a soft breath, “I do have to go.. I am sorry..” She says before turning to walk away but paused mid-stride to glance back at him, “There were two..” She says before walking through the crowd to the front exit.
@ignikinetic
[ ✖ 𝔇𝔢𝔳𝔩𝔦𝔫 𝔒'𝓒𝔩𝔢𝔯𝑦; @witheringred ]
— That hurt so damn bad. Another proverbial blow to his solar plexus that knocked the habitual air from his lungs this yet again. Too late. Too late. But was it really? They had an eternity now. They could make up for the time lost. Maybe not the children aspect but—
Again he couldn't breathe— twins. Dear almighty. Devlin watched Rose go, allowed her to get outside before he was after her, ignoring the pain in his left knee so he could run and catch up to her.
When he stepped outside there was no trace of her and he thought he had been too slow, but then Devlin caught a flash of red hair and with no one around to see, he was off in a blur of speed, catching up to Rose in a near instant and appearing in front of her. "I lost you once I ain't gonna lose you again. Don't go. Please. Didn't ya ever hear the sayin' if somethin' is meant to be it'll find it's way back? Look at us. We have forever. We can go anywhere, just the two of us." He ached to pull her into his arms, to kiss her forehead and never let her go. Instead, Devlin's hands found each of Rose's and he stepped closer, leaning the side of his chin against her temple. "I love you, Rosebud. I never stopped. He could make me do it, burn the house down to its foundations but he could never make me not love you." he whispered hoarsely against her forehead, the blood tears slipping from beneath tightly closed eyelids to carve crimson paths down his pale cheeks. "Please don't go away. I cannot bear losin' you again." Devlin whispered, raspy voice cracking from the sob building in his throat.
Valentina had been BULLSHITTING her. Kisses most certainly weren’t boring. In fact, Vesper thought, I can see a vast majority of my life becoming concerned with kissing.
She hummed low in her throat, felt sparks burst beneath her skin and turned fully into him. Pressing close, chest to chest, and softly tugging at his lower lip with her teeth.
BULLSHITTING her or not, Valentina had given her quite a few tips on good KISSING.
Her nimble fingers carded through his hair until she found the tie – which she promptly pulled, letting his red hair free. Though she liked it better down, her intent was more to get as close as possible.
To her GLEE, he was indeed a bit warmer than before. Or was that just her?
Are the windows foggy?
She discovered it was hard to kiss and grin at the same time. Yet she managed.
[ ✖ 𝔇𝔢𝔳𝔩𝔦𝔫 𝔒'𝓒𝔩𝔢𝔯𝑦; @foolfokusnik ]
— Devlin leaned into the kiss, slanting his lips against Vesper's as his hands traveled to her waist and then the expanse at the small of her back. Way too long. But my goodness it was worth it to be with you. The vampire felt his hair come down, a shoulder length mane of red waves that Vesper freed, earning a small frown and chuckle low in his throat. "Why did ya do that for?" he whispered huskily against her lips but quickly stopped caring once the little redhead was pressed so close to his chest that he could FEEL her heart beating against him, a wild bird struggling to free itself from its gilded cage.
His hands smoothed up Vesper's back to cup the nape of her neck, tapered fingers deftly burying themselves in her soft hair beneath the pins and other bits that held her chignon in place. Poor Vesper's hair was going to go from perfect to looking as if she fell asleep without taking it down.
That was when it happened. The kissing had gotten TOO heated and he ended up snagging his razor sharp incisor on the delicate flesh of Vesper's bottom lip. The taste of her blood exploded on his tongue and he knew he had cut her. Immediately pulling back, his indigo hues went wide as a hand flew to his mouth in shame. "'m so sorry, darlin’! I didn't mean to bite— oh boy." he sighed miserably and ran a hand through his hair, mussing it even further, "I think it’s probably best to get you home." the suggestion was whispered as he scooted back to turn the key in the ignition.
“Being good with dead things hasn’t served me well,” she bit out. Not because she was angry with him. The levels of terror clawing their way up her throat made it hard to control – well – anything.
She took his hand in both of hers, hot tears dripping off her cheeks in a silent display of utter DESOLATION. She hadn’t felt this kind of bleak emptiness since she was a teenager.
“Don’t –” her voice cracked, her breath hitched. “Don’t do anything that’s g - going to m - make things worse for you –” Even full of terror she couldn’t bring herself to do harm to someone so kind.
She met his gaze anyway, though, leaning into the welcome human contact of his hand. Because the truth was she needed a little help here if she wasn’t going to careen screaming over the edge of sanity.
And if nothing else, she trusted him to know his limits.
[ ✖ 𝔇𝔢𝔳𝔩𝔦𝔫 𝔒'𝓒𝔩𝔢𝔯𝑦; @blackthumbed ]
— Devlin shook his head, thumb rubbing gentle circles against Clarke's jawline. "It's not gonna make anythin' worse. One of us needs to be in control of our wits when he comes back and 'm gonna be sleepin' come daybreak. I can't stay awake. I'll try but I'll get sick. The bleeds and you don't wanna see them. So you gotta be the one, Clarke. And you need to have your wits about you."
The vampire returned her stare, willing her to fall into his gaze, to simply relax and let all of the tension drain from her body. He wasn't very good at this, but he was going to damn well try for her sake. But somehow, always when he needed it to the most and was concentrating the hardest— it somehow worked.
"Clarke.. you're gonna be okay and you know it. You won't feel any more fear or panic. You know you'll be goin' home soon. That you'll get outta here. It's just a little while and you know this. You ain't gonna panic no more. You're not gonna have any more anxiety. You're gonna be bad ass, you hearin' me? A warrior queen. You are strong and fearless. Are you hearin' me? Do you understand?"
Now he blinked and averted his eyes, praying that it worked. "How are you feelin’ now?"
Vesper could feel something foreign invading her face. HEAT. It was almost pleasant the way it crawled up her neck. And most certainly turned her face a shade of red to match the mark on her cheek.
BLUSHING. This, ladies and gentleman, was an OCCASION. Vesper was not a blusher. She made a little noise in the back of her throat, swaying closer, eyes heavy lidded.
And smiled. She looped her arms over his shoulders breathing in the scent of his cologne. He was still cool to the touch. And yet, a devious part of her brain insisted she could fix that.
“I’ve been waiting for you to ask,” she murmured, almost shy. She’d never kissed anyone before. Valentina made it sound boring but – and here her heart beat faster – she couldn’t think of anything she’d rather be doing. Her eyes slid closed.
“PLEASE.”
[ ✖ 𝔇𝔢𝔳𝔩𝔦𝔫 𝔒'𝓒𝔩𝔢𝔯𝑦; @foolfokusnik ]
— Devlin smiled faintly, once more his fingers traced Vesper's birthmark before moving up to her hairline and then all five fingers ghosted downward vertically over her features as if trying to remit every facet to memory. The blush was beautiful, perfect, and so was the hammering of her human heart beneath her sternum. He didn't know how it was possible but he loved her already, loved how familiar her heartbeat was, how mischievous she was, how unlike any other girl he had EVER met. He had known those feelings had been there for months. Since the first time he had laid eyes on her he wanted to know her but kept his distance, knowing it was better for her. Devlin felt those slender arms go around his shoulders and let out a sigh through his nostrils of contentment, melting into her embrace.
The smile broke wider once he had her permission, watching Vesper's eyes close in preparation. Devlin chuckled breathlessly and leaned up to press gentle kisses to the redhead's closed eyelids before his lips tilted against hers in a sweet kiss, one hand cupping the side of her face while the other found her hand to hold, his digits entwining with hers.
It had been a really long time, he couldn't even remember the last time he had kissed someone.
He just knew it had been worth the wait for this— for her.
Part of her wanted to completely flip out when he started to talk. Just scream and pound on his chest asking him why he betrayed her? Why did he ruin everything they had? Everything would have been perfect and then he ruined all of it. Everything! She noticed the crimson paths along the rim of his eyes which made her brows furrow together about an inch, she was silent while listening to him speak. Her body was stiff and her hands were in tight fists, her lips were tightly sealed in a thin line.
Him. The man responsible for what she is at this very moment. The source of their eternal pain and anguish. Her eyes closed and she let out a breath she must have been holding for quite some time now. Not like she needed it anyway. His voice was still the same, he hadn’t changed the slightest and when asked how her eyes slowly open again and look him in the face, even if he chose not to look upon her at all, “Through misery. That’s how..” She says in her usual soft tone of voice, but there was a bitterness in it. An anger she couldn’t shield even if she wanted to.
“The brutal actions of a man that took me over the simple fact of have your ‘scent’ all over me. –For loving you.. for being happy…” She trails off softly. “Don’t worry. I wish I could have died too like the others in that house. –Like..” She trails off not realizing her hand found its way to her stomach. Her thumb gently brushing along her belly before quickly stopping to let it fall down to her side, “I think I should go. Hunger and all that.” She says for an excuse to just bolt out of there. She wanted to run and go home and cry and throw everything in a fit of hurt and rage.
@ignikinetic
[ ✖ 𝔇𝔢𝔳𝔩𝔦𝔫 𝔒'𝓒𝔩𝔢𝔯𝑦; @witheringred ]
— He couldn't have known. If he had he would never have fallen in love with her. Taken her into his bed. Created a child with her. He wouldn't have risked her life. He wouldn't have risked any of their lives. But Devlin hadn't known what his father had done, hell, not even his mother had known and they had all paid for it in their own way.
Devlin flinched as if Rose had slapped him, teeth clenching so hard the muscles in his jaw jumped as he struggled to not cry. He had hoped— He had hoped— that maybe the baby had been born. That it had lived a long life, had gotten married, had children, been HAPPY. Now that fleeting hope was gone, a lick of flame snuffed out like his own magic had been. "'m sorry, Rose— I would do anythin' to take it back, to have given you a normal life." he whispered.
She hated him. Rightfully so. They could have had everything together. And now they'd have forever with nothing, not even each other, just a cold eternity of misery.
Clarke’s heart seized in her throat the more he spoke. She felt – sick. She felt like she was going to SNAP at any second and start tearing at the walls. But. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes –
You are not alone. You will die before you let yourself be taken apart. Take peace where you can, Clarke.
– And then EXHALED all the anxious terror.
“It’s 2017,” she said softly. “You’ve been here three years almost. It’s early September right now.” Her hands curled into fists. She began to carefully pick the rubber ends off the bobby pins, and twist them into points.
“And that explains why I saw a woman’s ghost lingering around him. The DEAD generally don’t like being kept next to the Guinness and the bacon.” She eyed him, frowning. NOTICING how jittery he seemed.
Were they on a time crunch?
BREATHE, Clarke.
“Okay, so – sicko. He’s – he’s definitely not the most STABLE individual which is… good luck. Because an unstable man is easier to manipulate and is going to make mistakes.”
Unlike JEREMIAH.
“So. I’ll talk to his wife, or try. And figure some things out.” Her hands had begun to shake. The horrible sick feeling in the pit of her stomach was getting worse. She felt feverish and weak. “This – this – this S - SON OF A B - BITCH isn’t going to get away with this. I’m SICK of being tortured and kidnapped and TOYED with. So. I’m – I’m getting you out of here no matter what, okay? It’s – it’s so – so wrong –” Her voice was thick with tears. It was getting hard to talk. “No one DESERVES this.”
[ ✖ 𝔇𝔢𝔳𝔩𝔦𝔫 𝔒'𝓒𝔩𝔢𝔯𝑦; @blackthumbed ]
— All Devlin could think about was Mirna once he heard the year. Three years. Would she even still be alive? It made him MORE jittery to think he might have lost her and only made him want to rip Whitmore apart without a strand of mercy, his mind going to all the different ways he could torture and murder the bastard. If she died— he didn't know what he'd do. But that son of a bitch would suffer.
Tilting his head at her in confusion, the vampire let out a short huff of laughter and shook his head. "You're a medium AND you can bring back the dead?" he asked, amazed. Devlin also noticed something else. She was terrified, the look of panic written all over the facets of her features, stark as day. The vampire rose to his knees and crawled to her side as Clarke stammered out her tangent and the promise she had no way of keeping.
"Clarke— " Devlin started, cool hand reaching for hers and gently squeezing her fingers with his own. "Look at me. 'm gonna take it away. Okay? You'll be able to focus an' no fear. You won't feel panic neither. Just look at my eyes. Right here." he whispered softly, raspy voice becoming steady and soothing. He reached up and cupped her cheek, preparing to use the rest of his power to glamour her fear away.
Ah, so THAT was what it was! It was hard not to know what a VAMPIRE was when given such compelling evidence (pun intended). Vesper smiled to herself, looking like a cat who had just swallowed a canary. Yellow feathers in her hair and on her lips.
Of course, then he got MOROSE again. Sheer stubbornness and dedication to her acting career kept her from rolling her eyes. The car began to slow. So naturally, she took this as an opportunity to lean over and her hand on his knee.
“MISTER O’CLERY,” She said very seriously, blue eyes wide and guileless. “I have an AUNT that is a swan. My other Aunties had to EAT her because the winter was so bad that year. Compared to that a little blood here and there is mundane.”
She paused, considered. And decided that she may as well be utterly shameless.
“Besides. I still haven’t gotten that KISS. It’s part of all the best fairy tales. Just like blood, and needless mutilation.”
Vesper MOONING Rosya.
Her Aunties would be proud. And tease her mercilessly. She could hear Valentina cackling already.
“Oh, and I ate my own twin in the womb, and killed my own mother the day I was born –” she waved her hand through the air, removing it from his knee. And gestured at her birthmark. “Blood of my victims as it were. So. It’s a good match, you see.”
[ ✖ 𝔇𝔢𝔳𝔩𝔦𝔫 𝔒'𝓒𝔩𝔢𝔯𝑦; @foolfokusnik ]
— Devlin just stared at her, indigo hues ping-ponging back and forth between her's. Was she serious? He had a feeling that Vesper was not lying to him whatsoever. He had heard about cannibalism in Russia a few decades ago, the winters so harsh coupled with the war had taken a toll on the country in unimaginable ways.
He believed her.
Now, if he had been able to he would have blushed, especially when Vesper placed her hand on his knee. But that didn't stop the almost shy yet purely happy smile that curved at his lips. "I love your birthmark, always have," he whispered hoarsely, lifting a hand to trace the wine colored mark with the pad of his thumb. "And can I have the lady's permission to kiss her?" Devlin asked, leaning his forehead against Vesper's, the hand on her cheek lowering to cup the redhead's delicate chin, thumb ghosting over the the outline of her bottom lip.
Absently he slid the car's gear into park and let his foot move off the brake pedal as he turned his body toward Vesper's on the bench seat, his knee now the only thing between them.
