I AM THE GOD OF THE GAPS, @igotpapercuts - Tumblr Blog

welcome to my personal/vent blog!

🤍 maw / stevie / vess 🤍

they/it/she/he + neos | 21 | plural & bpdtism

general taglist | taglist for others <3

i sometimes post suggestive/nsfw stuff under #nsftposting (block this tag if you’re uncomfortable seeing that kind of content)

i will post about weed & being high, and i do not tag it (i will always tell people if i am dming them)

please ask before reblogging system related posts, thank you!

otherkin (i’m specifically catkin) | kin info

main blog is @frothingatthemaw

+ other things under cut!

spotify | pronouns page | discord: mainframesystem

#pinned info #stevie.txt

i feel insane

#stevie.txt #negative

i fucking hate trusting people… because once i do, they can hurt me.

#this is definitely unrelated to how i’m feeling atm #TOTALLY UNRELATED #stevie.txt #negative

kendrick was right when he said “type of shit i’m on you wouldn’t understand”

#stevie.txt

i also hate idealization in bpd because i hate when i think of someone perfectly and then i can fucking hate them the second they do something that upsets me. and i hate how my splits make me view the person differently from then on. and i hate how i don’t know how to manage any of it

#stevie.txt #negative

oh i fucking hate splitting on someone. my face feels hot with anger right now. you promise me communication and then you get busy and feel distant. what the fuck!!!!!!!!

#i lowkey wanna cry lmao #stevie.txt #negative

ever since i put this shirt on, my brain has been screaming “GET MORE SCENE NOW!!!!!!” and i fear something plural is happening to me lol. it probs also doesn’t help that a system we follow on insta has had a lot of scene alters fronting lately so they’ve been speaking about and making a lot of scene stuff

#i wish we felt safe enough to switch around who i talk to these days #we’ve felt the need to switch quite a lot lately and it’s been kinda distressing ngl #it’s like someone is clawing to get in and i can’t let them because it’s not safe enough yet #sighs… i hate having this disorder #there’s so much to grieve for #stevie.txt #stevie.irl #mainframe.sys

i’ve really began to forget the subtle signs of others. it’s devastating.

#stevie.txt #mainframe.sys #negative

I WANT WHAT THEY HAVE SO BADDDDDDD

#i could post a million clips of them captioned with me and who lmao #stevie.txt

i need a lesbian relationship to happen to me NOWWWWW

#stevie.txt

friend is so fucking lovely :))) he’s such a nice person. it really makes me take a step back the way he treats me, makes me realize that THIS is how i deserve to be cared about by everyone. it’s very healing. i hope it doesn’t get ripped away from me like everyone else.

#like i don’t know how to describe how this bond however short is making me feel #it’s just… so fucking relieving in so many ways #i dunno i dunno lots of emotions flowing but they’re good #stevie.txt

igotpapercuts

someone on my snap stories got stickers because they’re puppy or whatever and they got A WEED ONE!!!!! it’s like a “puppy weed” sticker and AUGH. where can i find a kitty oneeeeee :((

igotpapercuts

i found the person who made them!!! they’re just $6 and it’s fucking CUTEEEE LIKE LOOK

#stevie.txt

someone on my snap stories got stickers because they’re puppy or whatever and they got A WEED ONE!!!!! it’s like a “puppy weed” sticker and AUGH. where can i find a kitty oneeeeee :((

#stevie.txt

i feel like every time i unmask when tired, everyone immediately hates me. and then i wonder why i find it so hard to unmask in the first place…

#stevie.txt #negative

saw a post last night that said “if i done that to you, you would hate me” and i haven’t been able to stop thinking about it

#stevie.txt

bpd can you let me live in peace pls pls pls

#i wanna escape from my own skin #stevie.txt #negative

have been texting a guy since last night and OMGGGGG he’s my type and it’s STUPID

#it’s making ME look stupid #stevie.txt

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I AM THE GOD OF THE GAPS,