The Steward of Gondor

" I have seen more than you know. With your left hand you would use me as a shield against Mordor, and with your right you would seek to supplant me! " child(ren) of Gondor

[ihatefaramir]

-

[ihatefaramir]

Can I get an extra bottle...?

Of course my dear son! Of course 

[ihatefaramir]

Perhaps we could both do with some good wine?

Yes, of course *brings the best wine in Middle-Earth*

[ihatefaramir]

“NASTY?!”

"IN FACT, do sing and I will spare your life!"

[leavenowandnevercomeback]

"Yesss, nasty! Very nasty, preciousss!"

"Yes, yes, we will!"

"LOVE IS AN OPEN DOOOOOOOOOOR—"

[ihatefaramir]

"I am pleased with this awful sound"

"CONTINUE!"

[ihatefaramir]

You have been drinking again, haven't you?

NO OF COURSE NOT

- ..why do you want me to?..

[ihatefaramir]

Yes?

MY BRAVE

COURAGEOUS

BELOVED

SON

[ihatefaramir]

I REQUIRE ENTERTAINMENT 

[leavenowandnevercomeback]

"SSSTOP YELLING AT USSS, NASTY MAN!"

"Oh, we can sings for it!"

“NO! *Gollum, gollum!* No, no, no! We only sssings for Preciousss! For Preciousss, with Preciousss, *and* about Preciousss!”

[ihatefaramir]

"NASTY?!"

"IN FACT, do sing and I will spare your life!"

[ihatefaramir]

Father, why does everyone seem to think that I am dead?

MY SON 

[ihatefaramir]

My name is Denethor.

Short and accurate. 

[vcielocqa]

[littlecheeckysparrow]

[meladoodle]

do an impression of me in my inbox

[ihatefaramir]

I am hosting a tournament now. 

Please do show up and only win if you're worthy enough for my presence!

[ihatefaramir]

do you remember that time your son died? huh denny? huh? that red head who got shot by the uruk-hai? huh?

dAMN YOU, GREY-CLOAK!

[lastvalerious]

"So hire a jester…?"

[ihatefaramir]

"Jesters are boring.. If you should have more ideas, I suggest you should spill them now!"

[lastvalerious]

"Boring? Fine; you could host a tournament or see a comedic play. Or even saddle your horse and ride through the city-you are the Steward and have all of Gondor at your hands."

[ihatefaramir]

"You're right. I AM the steward. I shall host one of those tournaments, and the winner shall have the honour of dining in my halls, feasting on the finest tomatoes stol- brought from our neighbour city!"

[ihatefaramir]

denethor y do u always look like someone cut a fart in ur presence?

I do NOT understand??? It's the Fara-era it's deceiving

[ihatefaramir]

I REQUIRE ENTERTAINMENT 

[lastvalerious]

"So hire a jester…?"

[ihatefaramir]

"Jesters are boring.. If you should have more ideas, I suggest you should spill them now!"