Here's my experience with my TC. It's not your typical story, or maybe it is, idk.
He was one of my teachers in my early years of high school and I pretty much fell head over heels for him within a year. It wasnt anything too big until the year after he taught me, because it got to the point where I wouldn't stop thinking about him. Like, I wouldn't think of anything else. I would do all the typical crush-type things, like dream of being with him and imagining our future conversations etc, but it came with a lot of anxiety, which still affects me today.
I've found that with most girls/guys who crush on their teacher feel pain 24/7 and they don't want to like them, but in my case, I did. And it was fueled by the fact that he did display some things that could be interpreted as him possibly liking me back. And before you say "I doubt it", my friends would point it out to me. Nothing ever happened between us, of course. Whenever we spoke it was always professional and nothing wrong. It was something merely innocent.
I was madly infatuated with him, like VERY. Anything he did that I couldnt interpret would send me flying into my mind with all these wild thoughts. Looking back on it, I wish I could have prepared myself for the worst, which happened at the end of that year.
Basically, he left the school to go overseas (more on that later). I cried for like two whole periods at school and had to keep running to the bathroom. Afterwards I calmed down and began to accept it. I found out that he had a girlfriend too, which didn't hurt me, but confused me because I thought he had feelings for me (goddamit I wish I could've been more down to earth).
Next year rolls around and it took me about 6 months to move on. It was a massive struggle but eventually after letting myself have fun I realized I was back to normal again. I thought I would never have to deal with this situation again. Then he decided to come back to school.
He came back because of complications and taught as a substitute for the remainder of the year. I panicked for a while because I knew that my thoughts and feelings would come flowing back to me, but at least I had experience and I could manage not to fall into this mess again. He has started teaching full time again, which is ok. I don't care that much anymore but it's hard to move on from him when you know he could be just around the corner, y'know?
Since he's come back, he's been a lot more distant from me and other students. In fact, people are complaining about him. Hes kind of a dickhead now actually, but I can understand that, he didn't want his trip overseas to be cut short. He seems to avoid me too, and I'm not really sure what I did (I can think of a few, but that's a story for next time), he says hi to me in the hallways still, but only if we're alone. It confuses me, makes me anxious and sad, but I've learned to accept it. Sooner or later, I'll have to move on and I think that this is a sign.
I am doing a lot better, however I still suffer from extreme anxiety to do with him, which I'll explain in a separate post (lmao again). This story has a lot more detail to it but currently my suburb/region is flooding due to rainfall and we might have to evacuate (fun!), So I'm writing this while we prepare for the worst.
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