today i thought

psychic and curious

[ilearntthat-blog]

Sometimes I wonder, how did we end up here? It pains me to see our society. Now we cant say how we really feel because we’re afraid to look like losers. Society has made us think we are weak if we have feelings, we are weak if we text first, we are weak if we cry, we are weak if we call. Fuck that. I’m not weak for wanting to see you, I’m not weak for texting you first, I’m not weak for telling you what I feel, I’m not weak for dreaming about holding your hand and I’m certainly not weak for loving you. I’m fucking alive. 

[ilearntthat-blog]

oh darling, the problem is you were saying I love you without feeling it.

until you did.

[ilearntthat-blog]

Falling out of love

After two years now, I think I finally got over you. Some would say it’s a bit too much time since we didn’t speak. But that’s me. I used to think I always liked boys who I didn’t talk to because I liked challenges. But, today I thought that it was comfortable loving you; it was comfortable loving those boys I really didn’t know. I learned that I’m one of those people that are afraid of change, not necessarily because I like my life, but because I’m afraid of nostalgia. Oh boy, nostalgia. You are my best and worst thing, nostalgia. And so, today I thought: what could be scarier than falling in love for real? Imagine falling in love with someone who knows you as good as you do yourself. Imagine falling in love with someone you know or think you know 100%. Yeah, imagine that love. Now, imagine falling out of love. It doesn’t matter if it’s you or them, just imagine losing the relationship. Yeah, that hurts. Now, I tell you what’s scarier than falling in love: falling out of love.

8/3/17